Corporate bellendary at work.

[PestiRed]

We have a bonus system, at the end of the year you are rated as either below expectations, achieving, exceeding or outstanding. Your boss rates you, that’s then rolled up per department and measured a curve to calibrate. That was all done in December.

Today we get a note from the CEO saying the curve has changed and 5% of people must be in ‘below’. So people who were previously told they were ok are now not getting a bonus.

Before you celebrate these are the engineers, people on the phones and team leaders. It’s a disgrace.

5% below is generous compared to the bell curve that I used to have at a previous company. Announcing it after people have received their grading is a bloody disgrace

[Anubis]

Bet you the CEO is getting his bonus though.

[Pureblood]

Rico should spread the love to the plebs.  It's the only fair solution. 

[Ginny]

Last few weeks I’ve been working really hard on a project and probably done about 50-60 hours each week. Really intense weeks. Felt like I had a cold coming in last week bought fought through it like the trooper I am cos I’m so loyal and care so much about my job. My boss came up to me on Monday pretty much bollocking me for something I’d missed. Thought fuck it, left early on Monday and had the rest of the week off as sick. It’s made me take a new perspective on things. All you get for hard work is more fuckin work, the better you are the more work they give you and expect. Look after yourself and your health cos in most of these jobs you’re just a fuckin number and you’ll be replaced without being missed very quickly.

[Rico1304]

Rico should spread the love to the plebs. It's the only fair solution.

I’m impacted too but 12k out of about 14k are front line.

[Pureblood]

Vote Jeremy, brah.

[Rico1304]

Vote Jeremy, brah.

In what?

[Pureblood]

Everfink!

[General Dryness]

Just overheard someone in the office saying "that's not my modus operandi".

 

Keep your eye on NZ breaking news. Could a massacre coming up.

[3 Stacks]

Last few weeks I’ve been working really hard on a project and probably done about 50-60 hours each week. Really intense weeks. Felt like I had a cold coming in last week bought fought through it like the trooper I am cos I’m so loyal and care so much about my job. My boss came up to me on Monday pretty much bollocking me for something I’d missed. Thought fuck it, left early on Monday and had the rest of the week off as sick. It’s made me take a new perspective on things. All you get for hard work is more fuckin work, the better you are the more work they give you and expect. Look after yourself and your health cos in most of these jobs you’re just a fuckin number and you’ll be replaced without being missed very quickly.

 

Man, that is depressing.

[Rico1304]

I’m on hols for two weeks from today, got a contract signed yesterday so the boss has intimated I don’t have to do anything until I leave on 19th September. Leaving do in Leeds on 13th, should be a laugh as got some colleagues from years ago coming along.

 

Spoke to my new boss yesterday, they’ve got my laptop, phone and desk etc all ready. Just have to keep my head down for six months.

[lifetime fan]

I’m on hols for two weeks from today, got a contract signed yesterday so the boss has intimated I don’t have to do anything until I leave on 19th September. Leaving do in Leeds on 13th, should be a laugh as got some colleagues from years ago coming along.

 

Spoke to my new boss yesterday, they’ve got my laptop, phone and desk etc all ready. Just have to keep my head down for six months.

 

 

And play nice with the other staff. 

[Rico1304]

And play nice with the other staff.

 

That’s the bit I may struggle with.

[Paulie Dangerously]

13 working days left for me. 

[Strontium]

We have a bonus system, at the end of the year you are rated as either below expectations, achieving, exceeding or outstanding. Your boss rates you, that’s then rolled up per department and measured a curve to calibrate. That was all done in December.

 

Today we get a note from the CEO saying the curve has changed and 5% of people must be in ‘below’. So people who were previously told they were ok are now not getting a bonus.

 

Before you celebrate these are the engineers, people on the phones and team leaders. It’s a disgrace.

"Bonuses, what are they?" - everyone in the public sector

 

Actually, I tell a lie, I've had £150 in vouchers over the past five years #winning

[Remmie]

I love how if there is a disagreement at work, whoever is most senior is right. We have a trolley that sits in the kitchen and is used by the sandwich lady during the day to sell her sandwiches. On nightshift we often use that trolley to get all the constituent equipment to make a cup of tea, saving us going all the way to the kitchen and back. For reasons unknown, the PA doesn't like this use of the tea trolley and so we have to tip toe round being able to use it and make sure any day staff aren't staying behind to work before being able to use it. We always clean it after use so it's usually in better condition and put it back in it's place, so outside that I cannot fathom what possible exception anyone could have to us using it.

 

But a busy body fucker who is never in during nightshift so can't be personally affected has decided against it, so that it, no tea for you, unless you take 5 breaks a night (if you drink that many) to go to the kitchen and back.

[PestiRed]

The idiot decided that allowing people to take out cash on their corporate card. Dealing with the fall out of that decision

[Rico1304]

The idiot decided that allowing people to take out cash on their corporate card. Dealing with the fall out of that decision

Ha. In the 90’s we were all given Goldfish credit cards with a £20k limit. One bloke paid for his wedding on it.

[Anny Road]

Getting a lecture in the machinery store about my golf clubs being a safety hazard from the health and safety man while his border collie runs about the place.

He is only responsible for H&S because I dumped it on him because I couldn’t be arsed with it. Prick. I’ll store them in his office from now on.

[Mook]

I've been doing my objectives all morning & I'm only about two thirds of the way through.

 

I wish I'd got a job on a fucking building site on days like this.

[littletedwest]

Had to have a meeting with staff after work to "run through the company vision" was meant take an hour. Took me 23 mins .

 

They just sat there with their eyes glazed over 

[VERBAL DIARRHEA]

1 hour ago, Mook said:

I've been doing my objectives all morning & I'm only about two thirds of the way through.

 

I wish I'd got a job on a fucking building site on days like this.

No you don’t.

[3 Stacks]

People who are bad or lazy at their jobs but who talk shit about other employees' work. That's like half my office. 

[Section_31]

It was interesting that a couple of the senior helmets who worked at my old place jumped ship and went to work somewhere that was owned and run by one individual rather than a board, and both were fucked off within a matter of months.

 

It's mad how in the previous company structure they could bullshit their way through meeting after meeting and never get called out, yet the minute they went to work for someone for whom it actually made a difference if you were shit or not, they got strung up by the balls.

[tokyojoe]

Her Indoors has just been made redundant. Brilliant management decision as she basically holds the place together.

All the wankers survive though.