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Baffling how some large companies in this country manage to get anything done. The company I work for doesn't, hence they're the 4th most successful company of a group of 4 in what they do and will always remain that way due to the general aura of fucktardedness around the place.

 

I'm always too hot, always have been. When I'm at home I wear shorts and a t shirt whatever the weather and I've always had a desk fan wherever I've worked. I've been in this job for 10 months and have been asking for a desk fan since I started.

 

Communication over the last 10 months:

 

Me (to facilities): Can I bring in a desk fan please? I get too hot and have always had one in previous jobs.

Facilities: Ooh no, we'd have to get it checked out and all that.

Me: Okayyyy....can you provide me with one then please?

Facilities: The temperature in the building is electronically controlled and we've been assured there are no issues in your area.

Me: Yeah, like I say, this is a 'me' thing rather than an office thing. Can I just have a desk fan?

Facilities: We've had a word and they've adjusted the temperature in your area; shouldn't be any more problems now.

Me: Why did you do that? There is no problem with the temperature, it's a 'me' thing. There are other people in this area to consider.

Facilities: No reply

Me: Can I have a desk fan please?

Facilities: We've spoken to occupational health. They've suggested you dress appropriately.

Me: They want me to take my shirt off?

Facilities: We've spoken to them again. They're going to come and see you to carry out an assessment.

 

 

Un. Fucking. Believable.

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Yeah I'm the same, really high body temperature all the time. Its a fucking pain in the hoop. Me and the missus sleep in the same bed, but under different covers. She'd be too cold under the amount of cover I like, I'd be sweating cobs vice versa.

 

I suffer from high blood pressure (on meds for it), and I've always wondered if the two are linked but never got round to asking the doc about it.

 

Re your other point, yes, corporates are bellends. Cheese laden ones.

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Guest The Big Green Bastard

Ask for a work experience lad and get him to fan you with a big palm leaf for 2 weeks.

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Don't you just love corporate restructures.

 

We need to streamline and become more efficient so as we can cement our place in the market and drive forward future success. We are laying off all support staff.

 

6 months later. Why the fuck have we got someone earning £35k a year spending half a day photocopying? We need to hire some support staff.

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Ask for a work experience lad and get him to fan you with a big palm leaf for 2 weeks.

 

This is the 4th ranked of 4 companies he's talking about. Maybe if he was at the 1st or 2nd ranked...

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Transpose "deskfan-gate" across just about every corporate decision making process here and what you have is a company living in the stone age.

 

This company has "Can do" statements all over the building. Baffling scenes.

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Same with me. My desk is right next to the radiator and pipes and due to the whole building being controlled, seemingly by one switch, I roast all year round, even when I turn the radiator off.

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Oh, you can't do that

 

 

Of course you can. You also bring in your own mobile phone charger the day they're PAT testing. Then when a boss gets pissy about you're going to set the building on fire you can tell him to fuck off.

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Oh, you can't do that

 

Of course you can. You also bring in your own mobile phone charger the day they're PAT testing. Then when a boss gets pissy about you're going to set the building on fire you can tell him to fuck off.

 

I meant there'd be no end of trouble if you did, especially after you'd already asked and been told no. God, I feel like we're children having to ask nicely.

Btw, what does PAT stand for? I thought it was PAC but don't know what that stands for either....you just say it, know what it means but have no idea what the initials stand for

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Work: We are reviewing all salaries to ensure a fair and consistent approach across all services. No one will have to take a pay cut though.

 

Me: According to your proposal you are going to scrap unsocial hours payments and transfer me to a new pay scale matching my base salary.

 

Work: Yes, no one will have to take a pay cut.

 

Me: Except 100% of direct care staff that work shifts will have a pay cut.

 

Work: No one will have to take a pay cut.

 

Me: Is my unsocial hours bonus part of my contract of employment or do you just pay me it for fun?

 

Work: It's part of your contract.

 

Me: Which you are going to take away and not replace, meaning a pay cut of nearly three grand.

 

Work: No one will be forced to take a pay cut.

 

Me: I'll keep my unsocial hours bonus then thanks.

 

Work: That's not possible.

 

Me: Fuck off.

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I meant there'd be no end of trouble if you did, especially after you'd already asked and been told no.

 

He wasn't told no, he was told they would have to check it out and they don't want to. Basically they can't be arsed to do their jobs. The correct procedure is to bring it in, put it on your desk, phone them up first thing and say you're plugging it in at lunchtime and if they haven't tested it by then, it's their lookout.

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Fuck you Lurtz I'm on a roll now.

 

How is it performance related pay is always introduced as a way of getting 'you hard workers to get a bit more and those that don't put the effort in don't get any extra' equates to management getting PRP bonuses every year and shop floor staff getting fuck all.

 

Here's a novel fucking idea, how about managers actually managing staff and managing performance. If you have lazy cunts making all our jobs harder do something about it, don't make a joke about Andy going for yet another cigarette. you're paid to stop him you twat.

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So, what do they mean by no-one will be forced to take a pay cut?

 

 

We'll match your basic salary on the new scale but are doing away with all unsocial payments. Although unsocial payments were started to recognise two people doing the same job, the person doing it on weekends and ten o'clock on friday nights should get paid more.

 

About 3 grand for me, those poor cunts that work waking nights too it'll add up to nearer 5.

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He wasn't told no, he was told they would have to check it out and they don't want to. Basically they can't be arsed to do their jobs. The correct procedure is to bring it in, put it on your desk, phone them up first thing and say you're plugging it in at lunchtime and if they haven't tested it by then, it's their lookout.

 

I honestly don't see that my lot would see it like that. 'You didn't get it tested so it must be removed.'

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Yeah I'm the same, really high body temperature all the time. Its a fucking pain in the hoop. Me and the missus sleep in the same bed, but under different covers. She'd be too cold under the amount of cover I like, I'd be sweating cobs vice versa.

 

I suffer from high blood pressure (on meds for it), and I've always wondered if the two are linked but never got round to asking the doc about it.

 

Re your other point, yes, corporates are bellends. Cheese laden ones.

 

Have you had your thyroid gland checked mate? Might be the cause of both blood pressure and you feeling too hot all the time. My sister's fella has the same problem and it turned out it was down to the gland being overactive.

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We'll match your basic salary on the new scale but are doing away with all unsocial payments. Although unsocial payments were started to recognise two people doing the same job, the person doing it on weekends and ten o'clock on friday nights should get paid more.

 

About 3 grand for me, those poor cunts that work waking nights too it'll add up to nearer 5.

 

A pay cut, then?

 

Same as happened to us a couple of years ago...well, drastically reduced anti social hours enhancements. They protected our pay for 3 years but come October I'll be losing a couple of hundred quid a month.

 

And don't even start on the restructuring of our service

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We got told the other week we couldn't charge our mobile phones in work or plug in a radio on overtime. The reason for this is that there was a power outage on the 7th floor one Saturday. Some bell end has decided that it must have been caused by people charging their phones and listening to their radios on our floor which is the first. No evidence of this was given, just filed under the massive "health and safety reasons" banner.

 

Bearing in mind that our building is a 9 storey building that also has a kitchen area on every level, all the outside is lit up at night, and has a coffee shop on level 1 and was built originally with a restaurant and a large gym so was designed to cope with massive amounts of electricity being used. However, the power going down must have been caused by someone charging their iPhone or listening to the match.

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I meant there'd be no end of trouble if you did' date=' especially after you'd already asked and been told no. God, I feel like we're children having to ask nicely.

Btw, what does PAT stand for? I thought it was PAC but don't know what that stands for either....you just say it, know what it means but have no idea what the initials stand for[/quote']

 

Portable Appliance Testing.

 

I can send Lurtz a sticker to put on the plug if he wants.

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