Someone's having a real laugh - gollum?

[Joe Strummer]

Lambert and Allardyce are good shouts, but I think Pardew is relatively safe as he's on a long contract and happy to watch Ashley sell whoever he wants to.

I suppose Keane is lying in wait at Villa. Still think if Newcastle start poorly the fans will be on Pardew's back even though they hate Ashley more.

[Jairzinho]

Well done Davey, seeing that Man Utd's ball is in tonight's draw for round two of the Capital One Cup. Supreme achievement that after being handed the previous year's champions.

Another trophy in the bag.

 

"The qualified for round two of the League Cup" Cup.

 

Proving that you don't have to win to qualify but he's a qualfier anyway.

[magicrat]

Lambert and Allardyce are good shouts, but I think Pardew is relatively safe as he's on a long contract and happy to watch Ashley sell whoever he wants to.

Pardew is Ashley's bitch after he saved his skin over the Meyler headbutt fiasco

[Iceman]

Despite everyone else strengthening, their squad is much lighter now, Vidic, Ferdinand, Evra, Buttner all gone and it looks like they will play 3 at the back but they really don't seem to have the personnel for it.

 

Now Shaw is injured they are really an injury or 2 away from calling up reserve players. Strange position to see them in considering all the puff and bluster from Woodward again this summer about them being able to sign anyone in the entire world of sport.

 

 

Dickie says 7th and more woe for yernited, Van Gelmet and his brave, fantastic swashbuckling kids.

[magicrat]

How long is Shaw out for :?

[Iceman]

Until he gets back with some Mars bars I would imagine.

[Dr Nowt]

Despite everyone else strengthening, their squad is much lighter now, Vidic, Ferdinand, Evra, Buttner all gone and it looks like they will play 3 at the back but they really don't seem to have the personnel for it.

 

Now Shaw is injured they are really an injury or 2 away from calling up reserve players. Strange position to see them in considering all the puff and bluster from Woodward again this summer about them being able to sign anyone in the entire world of sport.

 

 

Dickie says 7th and more woe for yernited, Van Gelmet and his brave, fantastic swashbuckling kids.

 

Giggs as well.  As ridiculous as it is with him being forteh, in the only game they really came out of with some credit last year, the heroic 3-0 second leg with over whoever it was that beat them 2-0 away to really put the shits up him, Giggs was actually their best player in the return. 

 

And Carrick's out injured for half a season isn't he?  And they have this character in their first eleven:

 

 

Damn their easy start really.

[Dr Nowt]

Luke Shaw and Anderson are said to have struck up an inseparable bond over Spanx and a mutual fondness for spending time at the fridge.

 

Even the R.White's Lemonade man would be fucked for surreptitiously getting in and out of their kitchen in the dead of night, they'll just be getting warmed up.

[KMD7]

United are 3rd favourites to win the title?  I'm sure I saw that on SSN this morning.  Mind boggling

[Iceman]

It's going to work against them and just add to the pressure that they are under to do well this season. If anything though it's going to be even harder than last year. Having scanned redcafe just today, may of them are not looking forward to this season like they were last. They know they face an uphill struggle just to get 4fh and they are grumbling about no signings for the positions they need.

[Dr Nowt]

Mata, the spud and Van Persie are all that worries me really.  A great attacking trio which on song will score plenty of goals in our league, especially when sent out with the sort of arrogance and confidence so obviously lacking last season, when they turned from playing the Trevor role in their relationship towards everyone else into Mo overnight*.

 

* Some 2000's Eastenders domestic abuse storyline references casually thrown in, that's the sort of shit you can expect to see much more of.  And I do mean shit.

[Strontium]

United are 3rd favourites to win the title?  I'm sure I saw that on SSN this morning.  Mind boggling

 

 

On Betfair they're 9/2 and we are 12/1!

 

Not that I fancy us to win it, but that is ridiculous.

[Anubis]

I suppose Keane is lying in wait at Villa. Still think if Newcastle start poorly the fans will be on Pardew's back even though they hate Ashley more.

 

Ashley gives so little thought to the Newcastle fans, I think there would have to be a very real threat of relegation before he'd consider dumping Pardew, and failing that it would require one fan to take one for all the others by running on the pitch with a machete and lopping Pardew's head off.

[Bjornebye]

On Betfair they're 9/2 and we are 12/1!

 

Not that I fancy us to win it, but that is ridiculous.

Who do they think van gaal is? Mr mhyagi?

[Gnasher]

Just a few of the great mans quotes,

 

" I was wearing jeans, i hope he didnt think i was being disrespectful"

On meeting fergurson to discuss taking the man utd job.

 

 

"He's got the best chest control i have ever seen" after spending 27mil on Fellani.

 

 

"I'm really looking forward to it and I'm looking forward to pitting my wits against him for many years to come" On pep guardiola before being knocked out of the champions league.

 

 

" I thought we were magnificent, we must of broke the record in getting to the byline" after being beaten at home to Fulham.

 

 

" I honestly don't know" after being asked what he can do to turn results around after a home loss to west brom.

 

 

God I'm going to miss him.

[Dr Nowt]

It's just so bloody senseless and unjust, isn't it.

 

Why are the good ones always taken early?

[Major Tom]

Who do they think van gaal is? Mr mhyagi?

 

I actually think they do.

 

Fools.

[Bjornebye]

3 nil win away against them, not a single wank 

[Russ Atmosphere]

"I'm really looking forward to it and I'm looking forward to pitting my wits against him for many years to come" On pep guardiola before being knocked out of the champions league.

 

I remember everyone on here after he said it - collectively...

 

[deiseach]

I'm trying to recall if we were as delusional when our empire began to crumble as the Mancs seem to be these days. It's quite possible we were, but I'm certain I wouldn't have put in writing some of the wishful thinking I tend to see from Mancs. This was posted on another forum after Moyes had been appointed by a man not incapable of reason:

I think United will do well because (a) they have a very good squad as it is;  I am pretty sure United will spend a lot this summer to strengthen the squad, the club will be extremely anxious to show the transition is working; [c] after my initial negative reaction I'm beginning to think Moyes is actually the perfect replacement in these circumstances. 

 

As regards to the "back seat driver" issue I cannot see Ferguson doing that. He is far too cute for that. He will help Moyes as and when Moyes wants - I'd be shocked if it hasn't been discussed and agreed. 

 

The big challengers will be Chelsea and city of course (Arsenal will buy and improve but not enough to really challenge). Interesting that all 3 will have new bosses at the helm - who will settle in quickest. My hunch is United is the most stable environment so I'm boldly predicting that Moyes takes the title in year 1!

 

[deiseach]

I remember everyone on here after he said it - collectively...

 

 

I think it was more like this:

 

[Russ Atmosphere]

A soupçon of...

 

[Dr Nowt]

It can't be beaten for laughs, can it? Ever. I agree with everyone who said it should have happened over longer and burnt slower, there's no doubt about it where long-term damage to Yernited is concerned.

 

But the brightest star burns half as long, and the ginger comet eclipsed all in his one incredible burst across the comedy night sky.

 

It was 12 months backpacking round the world or a 3 week honeymoon in the Maldives, and now and again you have to blow the budget in one because it just feels so good.

[A_S]

I miss this thread being one of hilarious live updates, rather than the fond trip down memory lane it has become.

 

Damn you, Moyes!

[deiseach]

There was so much bullshit about how they don't sack managers that there were times when I almost believed it. It's a pity it turned out to be, well, bullshit. Although there's bonus laughs to be had from the Stalinist way in which they are airbrushing Moyes out of their history.