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  • 3 months later...

Not sure if he's classed as a pundit but can't stand that fat cunt Ian Abrahams (the moose on TalkShite)he's got a horrible nasely voice and was crowing like fuck when West ham beat us last week...

Also thought it was funny he tried to wind Klopp up after the game. Although you could tell Klopp wanted to tell him to fuck off.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Danny Mills was on sparklingly moronic form last night.

 

* Likened Simeone to Pulis

* Gave Griezman tips on how to beat a keeper

* "I can't see much wrong" with every single foul

* Matey banter about not liking referees

* All corners should be chipped in to a big man at the far post

 

It's pretty hard to be BT's shittest co-commentator, but I actually turned over to listen to Robbie Savage as respite from his dribble-chinned musings. 

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Danny Mills was on sparklingly moronic form last night.

 

* Likened Simeone to Pulis

* Gave Griezman tips on how to beat a keeper

* "I can't see much wrong" with every single foul

* Matey banter about not liking referees

* All corners should be chipped in to a big man at the far post

 

It's pretty hard to be BT's shittest co-commentator, but I actually turned over to listen to Robbie Savage as respite from his dribble-chinned musings.

Last time I heard Danny Mills on radio 5 I actually had to turn it off. There's not many good ones but I don't remember ever having to do that before. The Terry Fuckwitt of commentators. Absolute fucking blert. Makes you wonder who decides they should be employed...?

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Didn't most pundits tend to be people who'd done stuff in the game like Hansen? These days it's Kieron Dyer's stunt double or some shit.

 

Next up, insights into Marlon Brando films by Benny from Crossroads.

Look moody and mumble a lot . I think Benny could manage that gig

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To judge from the state of this thread you'd start to suppose that football commentary is pretty much an impossible task and can't really be done well, or at least done in a way that doesn't irritate listeners.

 

But you'd only think that if you only spoke English.  I don't know what it is about English-language commentary, but it's dreck across the board.  Perhaps one out of 10 or 20 games do you get a game where the commentary isn't downright distracting it's so bad.  About half the time it actually makes you angry.

 

But switch over to a Spanish-language announcer and if you speak the language you'll have a completely different reaction.  Two people talking about the game who understand it and appreciate it.  They don't try to court controversy or drone on about their own playing careers.  They just talk, either about the game as it proceeds, or occasionally about the season or the clubs, in a way that makes the game more enjoyable to watch.

 

I don't know what it is about English that makes this impossible to do.  The other language I speak is Russian, and I would say that the commentators here are pretty neutral.  It's usually one person, just describing the action, and it's done so that it neither pleases nor displeases.  Which, to be honest, is a huge improvement on English-language commentary.

 

But the Mexicans and Colombians and Spaniards have perfected the art.  It can be done.  Football can be commented on without making you want to go find Danny Murphy or Michael Owen or whomever and choke them.

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To judge from the state of this thread you'd start to suppose that football commentary is pretty much an impossible task and can't really be done well, or at least done in a way that doesn't irritate listeners.

 

But you'd only think that if you only spoke English.  I don't know what it is about English-language commentary, but it's dreck across the board.  Perhaps one out of 10 or 20 games do you get a game where the commentary isn't downright distracting it's so bad.  About half the time it actually makes you angry.

 

But switch over to a Spanish-language announcer and if you speak the language you'll have a completely different reaction.  Two people talking about the game who understand it and appreciate it.  They don't try to court controversy or drone on about their own playing careers.  They just talk, either about the game as it proceeds, or occasionally about the season or the clubs, in a way that makes the game more enjoyable to watch.

 

I don't know what it is about English that makes this impossible to do.  The other language I speak is Russian, and I would say that the commentators here are pretty neutral.  It's usually one person, just describing the action, and it's done so that it neither pleases nor displeases.  Which, to be honest, is a huge improvement on English-language commentary.

 

But the Mexicans and Colombians and Spaniards have perfected the art.  It can be done.  Football can be commented on without making you want to go find Danny Murphy or Michael Owen or whomever and choke them.

 

It's not impossible to sound intelligent in english when speaking about football. The problem is that almost all english pundits have a completely distorted view of how football should be played and their commentary sounds dated by about 35 years. And then when you add their general xenophobia, biases, and the fact that most of them are dim as fuck, they get downright unlikeable.

 

French is my first language and whenever I listen to a french broadcast, I immediately notice that commentators are a lot more honest, don't have agendas and seem like they genuinely enjoy their jobs. I can't say the same for english pundits. 

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To judge from the state of this thread you'd start to suppose that football commentary is pretty much an impossible task and can't really be done well, or at least done in a way that doesn't irritate listeners.

 

But you'd only think that if you only spoke English.  I don't know what it is about English-language commentary, but it's dreck across the board.  Perhaps one out of 10 or 20 games do you get a game where the commentary isn't downright distracting it's so bad.  About half the time it actually makes you angry.

 

But switch over to a Spanish-language announcer and if you speak the language you'll have a completely different reaction.  Two people talking about the game who understand it and appreciate it.  They don't try to court controversy or drone on about their own playing careers.  They just talk, either about the game as it proceeds, or occasionally about the season or the clubs, in a way that makes the game more enjoyable to watch.

 

I don't know what it is about English that makes this impossible to do.  The other language I speak is Russian, and I would say that the commentators here are pretty neutral.  It's usually one person, just describing the action, and it's done so that it neither pleases nor displeases.  Which, to be honest, is a huge improvement on English-language commentary.

 

But the Mexicans and Colombians and Spaniards have perfected the art.  It can be done.  Football can be commented on without making you want to go find Danny Murphy or Michael Owen or whomever and choke them.

 

English speakers are more than capable of decent commentary. The problem actually seems to be the English speakers they select to commentate on English football. With quite a lot of them not only being boring, clueless idiots, but also actually having a terrible grasp of the English language. I don't wish to appear like a snob, but you'd think having a reasonable grasp of English would be a prerequisite to commentating in English.

 

There are some commentators on La Liga games on Sky who are okay, both in terms of the main commentators and the ex-player commentator alongside them. Not great, but certainly less offensive to the ear. Same applies with BT in their coverage of Serie A and other leagues. They reserve the worst of the worst for English games, both in terms of commentary and punditry. Broadcasters make an assumption that the English fan will only respect the words of a "big" name. Regardless of whether this "big" name has anything interesting to say about the sport. 

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  • 2 weeks later...

Danny Mills with a bit of real genius while giving commentary on Mirallas' second yellow:

 

It's silly. It's late but it's not outrageous. yes, it was a booking, a second yellow card but it's unlucky. If you've been booked once, you should be more careful.

 

So first it's silly and late, but then it's not outrageous.  But yes, it's definitely a booking.  But then it's unlucky.  But then he should be more careful.

 

Thanks for clearing that up, then, Danny.

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