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Redder Lurtz

Blood pressure

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And when you think you're getting it up you're not.

 

You just need a piss again for the 8th time that night.

 

That's diabetes or prostate cancer

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I always have highish blood at the GPs, but that's because crap NHS receptionists, waiting too long in crap rooms with crap magazines, and condescending doctors all stress me out.

 

Got it checked out a few times at home by the in-laws (who are nurses) and it's always fine.

 

Still, that's just me - 'xpect yours is something far more serious...

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Think of yourself as a central heating system, the pressure is too high so you let some water out. Therefore open a main vein, let out a pint or two and everything will be fine.

 

Easy peasy, nurse, send in the next one.

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Guest The Big Green Bastard
I want to know how you allowed a hose to kick you in the cock.

 

Was getting some manure (not direct from the source) for the garden off a lass my brother knows. Got to walk with a horse and that, knowing that i have to exert some kind of confidence over the animal at all times. Things went well, had a little go in the saddle....everything went so well except you should never stand behind a horse, it fucks them up apparently.

 

Walked behind the fucker and he kicked my cock faster than chuck norris. I was lucky my natural reflexes worked and managed to get just a whipping effect from the hoof of this cunty mare to my knob.

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Any of you got a machine that tests your blood pressure at home ? 

 

I've asked my dad what he wants for his 80th (which is tomorrow) and he wants one of these.

 

Time is of the essence.

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Yeah

I'll try and find it. It was a cheap one off amazon. Does the job. Not as accurate as doctors but close enough. 

  • Upvote 2

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Just now, Dougie Do'ins said:

I was hoping Boots would sell one but when I tried to look online, there was over an hour wait to get onto their site.


I reckon if you go in store they’ll have them. Same with Lloyd’s pharmacies.  

  • Upvote 1

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I used one them that are in doctors these days, a few years ago, after I was in the pub and this lad and his missus I know was there, and her two gay friends so we were talking about blood pressure for some reason and I said I'd just done mine in the in the waiting room, I said you have to clench your fist and put it in, there was a few coughs and me mate nearly spat is ale out trying to hold the laughter in. 

 

 

 

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2 minutes ago, Captain Turdseye said:


I reckon if you go in store they’ll have them. Same with Lloyd’s pharmacies.  

Cheers mate. I'll call in to Boots tomorrow and have a look.

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 I've a few problems like most of us, Pancreaitis for one and well over weight, I was also advised to try Statins which I said no, I'll try and change my lifestyle anyway my blood pressure was strangely not like others I know who have become Diabetic, something gladly I haven't got, well not yet, and to see how  common it is today, so it's well worth your while to keep on top of it  by regular checks as I do, plus I'm monitored, as is said its dangerous to ignore and to think its not such a serious condition. 

 

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1 hour ago, easytoslip said:

I used one them that are in doctors these days, a few years ago, after I was in the pub and this lad and his missus I know was there, and her two gay friends so we were talking about blood pressure for some reason and I said I'd just done mine in the in the waiting room, I said you have to clench your fist and put it in, there was a few coughs and me mate nearly spat is ale out trying to hold the laughter in. 

 

 

 

I think that post was misplaced with what you were talking about, apologies. 

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