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Moctezuma

Definitely true things you've heard about Footballers

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Chelsea recreate the famous greenhouse scene out of Scum to initiate new players then Jose Mourinho walks in pretending not to have seen it after coming back from a ciggy break.

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After retiring from football, former Liverpool keeper Michael Stensgaard dyed his hair brown and reinvented himself as CJ de Mooi. He appeared on the quiz show eggheads up until 2012 before he left to pursue an acting career. 

 

 

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Premiership referee Lee Mason has written eight musicals, none of which have yet been staged.

 

1960s Liverpool winger Peter Thompson has won several awards for mouse husbandry.

 

PFA Chief Gordon Taylor is such a fan of legendary Belgium singer/songwriter Jacques Brel that he will only eat cheese that is imported from Schaarbeek.

 

Stoke City manager Mark Hughes was born with stunted lungs. He mainly breathes via surgically altered armpits.

 

Igor Biscan had a childhood invisible friend who refused to disappear once he'd grown up.  He would accompany Biscan on to the pitch and distract him at key moments during games.

 

Only two men have ever been born with missing 'n's - Roald de Boer and Roald Dahl. While Dahl came to live with his disability, de Boer paid an estimated £200,000 to have an artificial 'n' inserted into his name.

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Neil Warnock actually changed his name by deed poll 35 years ago. He felt that going by the name 'Colin Wanker' would hinder his employment opportunities.

 

Nigeria defender Danny Shittu has the full Ezekiel 25:17 tattooed on his left arsecheek. Al was unavailable for comment, but he's probably wondering how Danny got hold of that photo of a naked Al holding a vodka Martini with a carrot up his arse.

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Every day on their way home from training, Stewart Dowing and Jordan Henderson are regularly overpowered and abused by a small child

Chris Gardocki?

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Middlesbrough (or is it Bolton?) defender David Wheater played a bit part role in Lord Of The Rings: The Two Towers as one of the orcs in the Helm's Deep sequence. He was the only one not in costume, as even the CGI orcs were decked out in full battle gear.

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Brothers Phil and Gary Neville currently fill their spare time by building a 1:12 scale airfix sports car which they affectionately term the "Coupe NeVille". Gary does the glueing because Phil can't be trusted, but he is allowed to put on the simpler transfers.

 

 

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Dele Adebola is now the star of a show called 'Dele or No Dele' back in his native Nigeria.

 

There are twenty four empty boxes and one that Adebola hides in. The contestants keep guessing until they find him and the quicker they do, the more money they get. The show is presented by former Coventry City player Noel Whelan.

 

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Notoriously shit footballer and celebrity fat cunt Neil Ruddock has an arse that big that it can be viewed from space. He also volunteered to obscure the Great Wall of China with it for a laugh when asked by the presenters of Soccer AM.

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CSKA Moscow's Russian international defensive twins Aleksei and Vasili Berezutski both have a phobia about Persian rugs.

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Colin Hendry,Lee Hendrie and John Hendrie briefly teamed up to form a progressive Rock band known as Triple H.

 

Despite no musical talent whatsoever, the band were extremely popular with the few people that heard them and all set to release a single until wwf owner Vince Mcmahon stepped in and blocked them due to a copyright infringement.

 

The band then folded as they were unable to think of another suitable name.     

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Former Everton manager Howard Kendall once considered buying Prince Rupert's Tower to convert it into a distillery for his own-brand spirits.

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Former Chelsea defender and professional meff Jason Cundy is married to a 12-inch fur-lined dildo that he's named Colleen. He says that most people will not understand but he doesn't care because he loves her and the way she treats his arse.

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