Definitely true things you've heard about Footballers

[aws]

He should have waited till the game finished.

[Wezza]

Admiral Dalindlela Muskwe - I'm not having that, I reckon that is an aircraft carrier.

[Jairzinho]

Admiral Dalindlela Muskwe - I'm not having that, I reckon that is an aircraft carrier.

Probably the finest African whisky I have drunk.

[AngryOfTuebrook]

Not really playing the game properly, but the following things are actually true:

 

 

Kevin Mirallas' full name is Kevin Antonio Joel Gislain Mirallas y Castillo

 

 

Antonio Joel Gislain is pronounced "fucking".

 

Y Castillo is pronounced "the cunt".

[Gym Beglin]

Admiral Dalindlela Muskwe - I'm not having that, I reckon that is an aircraft carrier.

 

https://www.lcfc.com/news/433426

 

I'm up for spending millions on this one. 

[Paulie Dangerously]

90s wonder-strike-merchant Ritchie Humphreys now owns a successful artisan telescope business 

[VERBAL DIARRHEA]

Harry Maguire owns a Clydesdale.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

10 9 8 7 ............

[Trumo]

https://www.lcfc.com/news/433426

 

I'm up for spending millions on this one. 

 

Are you hoping he'll put the money in your bank account first?

[VladimirIlyich]

Phil Jones of Manchester United fame has just been signed up for 3 seasons of the Happy Days remake. The Man U centre back will take the role of "The Fonz" in the cult classic.

Looks like he's permanently riding a bike.

[Trumo]

Italy legend Roberto Baggio used to have his kits custom designed out of the finest silk.

[cloggypop]

Manchester City flop striker George Weah is the current president of Liberia.

 

Arsene Wenger told me.

[SammyAftershave]

Ian Ure had two Japs eyes. Fact.

[Trumo]

At one point in the 80s, Arsenal full back Kenny Sansom went through a phase of only liking people also named Kenny. So entertainer Everett and musician G were popular in the Sansom household, and he held a soft spot for fellow footballers Dalglish and Jackett. He hated people called Ken though, so the likes of comedian Dodd and Corrie character Barlow were persona non grata. He would just about tolerate those called Kenneth, so football commentator Wolstenholme, Carry On star Williams and actor Branagh were considered OK.

[Bobby Hundreds]

Vinny Samways and Mark Walters having missed out on the big money era of football now earn their money as a London boys tribute act.

[Anny Road]

Manchester City flop striker George Weah is the current president of Liberia.

 

Arsene Wenger told me.

Its not him its his cousin. Souness told me.

[Bjornebye]

Phil Jones mum is so obsessed with Paddy McGuiness that she has his face tattooed on her arse and sporadicly daubs his walls with bisto gravy declaring her love for him. Phil is rumoured to be a bit embarrassed, not by his own mums erratic behaviour but because his face looks like his nans arse. 

[Trumo]

Former Northern Ireland striker and Sloth Fratelli stand-in Iain Dowie has been playing the same numbers on the National Lottery every Saturday since it started, and not a single one of his numbers has come up in all that time.

[Trumo]

Ivory Coast midfielder Gilles Yapi Yapo has quit football after becoming fed up of always getting booked for dissent.

[AngryOfTuebrook]

Every morning Taribo West takes all of his cornflakes out of the bowl, gives them each a name and arranges them alphabetically before eating them.

 

Oddly, he has never used the name Phoebe.

[TheHowieLama]

Every morning Taribo West takes all of his cornflakes out of the bowl, gives them each a name and arranges them alphabetically before eating them.

 

Oddly, he has never used the name Phoebe.

 

 

he has however used the name Feebe - so....

[Anubis]

Bump

[Trumo]

Harry Kane listens to Shaggy's "It Wasn't Me" before games to gee himself up.

[Trumo]

Harry Kane shot the sheriff, and he also shot the deputy.

[Lee909]

Harry Kane listens to Shaggy's "It Wasn't Me" before games to gee himself up.

You sure it wasn't the remix

 

It's mine

[Lee909]

Or his new hit

 

Harry Kane and Brandy

The goal is mine