Depression

[Rushies tash]

43 minutes ago, YorkshireRed said:

Not sure if this is the right thread for this, but my mum died this morning.
 

I’m a bit numb but I’m probably ok, maybe the depression will come later. as it has done previously. 
 

She struggled after the death of my dad and losing my brother last year really did for her. Add the Parkinson’s that was starting to properly take hold, and she might have been ready to go. 
 

A mother of five, grandmother of eight, sister, history teacher, keen golfer (got a hole in one once), doctors wife, excellent maker of soups and Sunday lunches, loyal friend and dog lover (her own anyway).

 

RIP Mum. 

 

Sincere condolences. Lost my mum this year, and although it was expected, you're never really prepared for it. Take care of yourself mate.

[Chip Butty]

42 minutes ago, YorkshireRed said:

Not sure if this is the right thread for this, but my mum died this morning.
 

I’m a bit numb but I’m probably ok, maybe the depression will come later. as it has done previously. 
 

She struggled after the death of my dad and losing my brother last year really did for her. Add the Parkinson’s that was starting to properly take hold, and she might have been ready to go. 
 

A mother of five, grandmother of eight, sister, history teacher, keen golfer (got a hole in one once), doctors wife, excellent maker of soups and Sunday lunches, loyal friend and dog lover (her own anyway).

 

RIP Mum. 

Condolences Yorky, I’m no bereavement counsellor mate, she’s had a large loving family around her and I dare say loads of memories with that, that you all have of her. Concentrate and focus on those great times you all had and those positive moments and it will help you to some degree through this tough time.

 

Take care fella, be strong and look after yourself. X 

[Babb'sBurstNad]

Sorry to hear that Yorkshire, just make sure to look after yourself mate.

[Babb'sBurstNad]

On 04/11/2024 at 14:24, Arniepie said:

not sure if this is the thread for it but fuck it

Never really had the best of luck with relationships and had almost given up when I started chatting to someone on an app a few months. Had a date,hit it off, got on really well and everything was going brilliantly. Talked about spending christmas together and even holidays etc etc

She has had a tough life but I thought what she was telling me was bringing us together.

she had to go for a biopsy and got some bad news. Said they had found something but it hadn’t spread and she would have to have treatment. It obviously knocked her but I said we would get through and I would be there for there for her. Done a bit of reading about it and it said if its caught early,it can be treated. 

 

She said she just needed a bit of time,so I didnt message for a few days.Then dropped her a message to say I was thinking of her. Checked the day later and she had blocked me.

I was absolutely furious and had a spare phone so messaged her as Id left my watch up at hers. Said I can’t believe you have done this and she said she was sorry but she couldn’t bear the thought of me going off her. I said I wouldn’t as I would have been there all the way through it.She said she couldn’t understand why I was being so nice as she wanted me to hate her (which I thought was a bit weird)

Probably a bit selfish of me but Im absolutely devastated. It Just makes no sense. If It would have been me I would have wanted her there.

I know the usual cliches,give it time blah blah but its just devastated me..barely got out of bed,swerved the gym etc.

I read somewhere ages ago that a relationship finishing is like a bereavement and that’s exactly what it feels like. I could honestly just go to sleep and wake up in about 5 years

 

Did you ever get the watch back?

[KMD7]

Sorry for your loss Yorkshire 

[littletedwest]

Sorry for your loss mate. She sounds like a remarkable woman who lead a good life. 

[DalyanPete]

1 hour ago, YorkshireRed said:

Not sure if this is the right thread for this, but my mum died this morning.
 

I’m a bit numb but I’m probably ok, maybe the depression will come later. as it has done previously. 
 

She struggled after the death of my dad and losing my brother last year really did for her. Add the Parkinson’s that was starting to properly take hold, and she might have been ready to go. 
 

A mother of five, grandmother of eight, sister, history teacher, keen golfer (got a hole in one once), doctors wife, excellent maker of soups and Sunday lunches, loyal friend and dog lover (her own anyway).

 

RIP Mum. 

You only get one and boy it's tough to take. You want them to go on forever.

I didn't want anything of my Mums when she died as my head was full of happy memories as I'm sure yours will be to.

Thoughts are with you and your family.

[tokyojoe]

Condolences mate

[Engineman Hicks]

6 hours ago, YorkshireRed said:

Not sure if this is the right thread for this, but my mum died this morning.
 

I’m a bit numb but I’m probably ok, maybe the depression will come later. as it has done previously. 
 

She struggled after the death of my dad and losing my brother last year really did for her. Add the Parkinson’s that was starting to properly take hold, and she might have been ready to go. 
 

A mother of five, grandmother of eight, sister, history teacher, keen golfer (got a hole in one once), doctors wife, excellent maker of soups and Sunday lunches, loyal friend and dog lover (her own anyway).

 

RIP Mum. 

Sorry to hear that. Look after yourself 

 

[Bjornebye]

On 05/11/2024 at 17:17, Engineman Hicks said:

I’m having a bad time at the moment. Constant work related anxiety, like a parasite worm living in my head. Every waking minute there’s this low level hum of anxiety, eating away at my consciousness. I hate it, hate being awake, hate this fucking thing in my head. 

Take a break. You need to look after you for a bit. Don’t feel bad about it either. You come before numbers on a screen mate. 

[Bjornebye]

6 hours ago, YorkshireRed said:

Not sure if this is the right thread for this, but my mum died this morning.
 

I’m a bit numb but I’m probably ok, maybe the depression will come later. as it has done previously. 
 

She struggled after the death of my dad and losing my brother last year really did for her. Add the Parkinson’s that was starting to properly take hold, and she might have been ready to go. 
 

A mother of five, grandmother of eight, sister, history teacher, keen golfer (got a hole in one once), doctors wife, excellent maker of soups and Sunday lunches, loyal friend and dog lover (her own anyway).

 

RIP Mum. 

Really sorry to hear this mate, sounds like she was a great human x Look after yourself 

[an tha]

Condolences

[Arniepie]

23 hours ago, YorkshireRed said:

Not sure if this is the right thread for this, but my mum died this morning.
 

I’m a bit numb but I’m probably ok, maybe the depression will come later. as it has done previously. 
 

She struggled after the death of my dad and losing my brother last year really did for her. Add the Parkinson’s that was starting to properly take hold, and she might have been ready to go. 
 

A mother of five, grandmother of eight, sister, history teacher, keen golfer (got a hole in one once), doctors wife, excellent maker of soups and Sunday lunches, loyal friend and dog lover (her own anyway).

 

RIP Mum. 

echo what everyone has said mate

 

look after yourself 

[lifetime fan]

Been asked to help as a session facilitator at an Andy’s Man Club group, first session tonight. 
 

Little scared but also excited. 

[Creator Supreme]

2 hours ago, lifetime fan said:

Been asked to help as a session facilitator at an Andy’s Man Club group, first session tonight. 
 

Little scared but also excited. 

Good luck mate.

[Bjornebye]

@Engineman Hicks @YorkshireRed hope you’re both ok today fellas. If not, it’s ok not to be. 

[YorkshireRed]

Struggling a little today. Working away for the first time since I lost my mum ten days ago. It’s only Newcastle but it feels a long way from where I should be.
 

Grief has always been a ‘funny old game’ for me. I haven’t cried, not sure if the antidepressants are playing their part in this. I feel desperately unsettled though and my body is aching. I’ve had my fair share of loss these last few years, my resilience to it is low and I feel like it’s heading towards my own death by a thousand cuts. 
 

I heard today that a close friend of mine has lost his sister in a truly horrible way. Although I haven’t seen her for years it’s knocked what wind I did have right from my sails.

 

It’s my mums funeral on Friday. That’s a right grief, social anxiety, depression mash up for me. I’ll be using my autistic son as an excuse to sit quietly in the corner while people who barely knew her go to pieces around me. It happened at both my dad and brother’s funerals. I never know whether to take it as a compliment to the impact they had on others, or post about it in the ‘little things that annoy me’ thread.

 

Anyway, just getting a few things out of my head. I’m ok, and I’ll still be on point to post a breakfast photo tomorrow. 

[TheSire]

2 minutes ago, YorkshireRed said:

Struggling a little today. Working away for the first time since I lost my mum ten days ago. It’s only Newcastle but it feels a long way from where I should be.
 

Grief has always been a ‘funny old game’ for me. I haven’t cried, not sure if the antidepressants are playing their part in this. I feel desperately unsettled though and my body is aching. I’ve had my fair share of loss these last few years, my resilience to it is low and I feel like it’s heading towards my own death by a thousand cuts. 
 

I heard today that a close friend of mine has lost his sister in a truly horrible way. Although I haven’t seen her for years it’s knocked what wind I did have right from my sails.

 

It’s my mums funeral on Friday. That’s a right grief, social anxiety, depression mash up for me. I’ll be using my autistic son as an excuse to sit quietly in the corner while people who barely knew her go to pieces around me. It happened at both my dad and brother’s funerals. I never know whether to take it as a compliment to the impact they had on others, or post about it in the ‘little things that annoy me’ thread.

 

Anyway, just getting a few things out of my head. I’m ok, and I’ll still be on point to post a breakfast photo tomorrow. 

Take some time off if you can. Stress is nearly always the trigger for depression, whether sudden and intense or death by a thousand cuts as you put it. If your level of tolerance for any annoyance, frustration etc is non existent it's a sign that your battery is running on empty.

 

Anti depressants do help with that aspect, their main job is actually to protect against stress as opposed to being a cure for depression, but sometimes we need to just accept we can't function and be kind to ourselves and dial everything back until that enthusiasm returns.

 

We always have this stubbornness to push and grind through but we all have our limits, if you're feeling dull and exhausted definitely listen to what your body is trying to tell you.

 

X

[Creator Supreme]

20 minutes ago, YorkshireRed said:

Struggling a little today. Working away for the first time since I lost my mum ten days ago. It’s only Newcastle but it feels a long way from where I should be.
 

Grief has always been a ‘funny old game’ for me. I haven’t cried, not sure if the antidepressants are playing their part in this. I feel desperately unsettled though and my body is aching. I’ve had my fair share of loss these last few years, my resilience to it is low and I feel like it’s heading towards my own death by a thousand cuts. 
 

I heard today that a close friend of mine has lost his sister in a truly horrible way. Although I haven’t seen her for years it’s knocked what wind I did have right from my sails.

 

It’s my mums funeral on Friday. That’s a right grief, social anxiety, depression mash up for me. I’ll be using my autistic son as an excuse to sit quietly in the corner while people who barely knew her go to pieces around me. It happened at both my dad and brother’s funerals. I never know whether to take it as a compliment to the impact they had on others, or post about it in the ‘little things that annoy me’ thread.

 

Anyway, just getting a few things out of my head. I’m ok, and I’ll still be on point to post a breakfast photo tomorrow. 

I didn't cry at either of my parents funerals mate, and it stressed me out the more I thought about it. Like you though I'm on antidepressants so that maybe explains it.

 

You deal with this horrible shit in your own way mate, as long as you get through it that's what matters.

 

I hope Friday goes as well as it can.

[A Red]

@Creator Supreme  

 

You need a bit of help, this thread is as good as any. Take a read, you're not on your own.

[YorkshireRed]

Posting in the hope that @Creator Supremereads this and knows that he is cared about and there is hope.

 

I would never presume to say “I know how you feel”, we are all different and I’m not inside your head.
 

We do share some similarities though you and I, at least I think we do based on what I’ve read on here. 

 

We’ve both lost our parents reasonably recently, have children with autism, suffer with a very real depression, never think Liverpool will win and are both cranky old men. 
 

Of course, we’re not completely the same. I have perhaps been more fortunate than you in some areas, maybe you have in others. Your opinion of a ‘roast dinner’ is baffling and I think you are more unwell than me which must be extremely difficult. 
 

I have been in a dark place though, spent many years just existing and often didn’t want to be here. My last trip to the doctors has seemed to help though, so has talking more to the wife and trying to consciously put on day in front of another. As stated on another thread I’ve felt flickers of happiness of late. These are as terrifying as they are unbelievable, but they are there and they are showing me that what I thought was impossible, is not so. 
 

It hasn’t been easy to get here, I’ve tried several times and have self sabotaged myself multiple times along the way. I have no idea if this will last but I do now have hope, where there was none before.
 

There is a little of this ‘hope’ going spare and I’d really like it if you would take it and give yourself a chance.

 

Put one step in front of the other and see where it takes you. A step to the doctors on Thursday seems like a good one. We can be with you on this journey as much, or as little, as you need. Just ask.
 

You are a big part of this community and in some weird and magical way, that makes us part of you.
 

You really don’t walk alone.