Depression

[elvis]

2 hours ago, Section_31 said:

 

Yeah we'd try that like a shot, she's primary and we've been looking actually.

Primary school positions are a bit more difficult, it took my daughter a while to get a permanent position. 

[Engineman Hicks]

On 10/10/2024 at 20:45, Section_31 said:

 

She'd never do it mate, she's failed her test three times before she met me and it's borderline ptsd.

Mrs hicks was in the same boat. She went to Kings Lynn, a little town in Norfolk. It has the highest pass rate in the Uk as it doesn’t have any one way streets, no traffic and only one roundabout. There’s a little cottage industry of learners staying in bed and breakfast, doing 2 days of intensive lessons then their test on day 3. Most of the cars driving around the town during the day are learners. I  think the examiners are a bit more lenient as it’s a local industry. It’s worth looking into. 

[Arniepie]

not sure if this is the thread for it but fuck it

Never really had the best of luck with relationships and had almost given up when I started chatting to someone on an app a few months. Had a date,hit it off, got on really well and everything was going brilliantly. Talked about spending christmas together and even holidays etc etc

She has had a tough life but I thought what she was telling me was bringing us together.

she had to go for a biopsy and got some bad news. Said they had found something but it hadn’t spread and she would have to have treatment. It obviously knocked her but I said we would get through and I would be there for there for her. Done a bit of reading about it and it said if its caught early,it can be treated. 

 

She said she just needed a bit of time,so I didnt message for a few days.Then dropped her a message to say I was thinking of her. Checked the day later and she had blocked me.

I was absolutely furious and had a spare phone so messaged her as Id left my watch up at hers. Said I can’t believe you have done this and she said she was sorry but she couldn’t bear the thought of me going off her. I said I wouldn’t as I would have been there all the way through it.She said she couldn’t understand why I was being so nice as she wanted me to hate her (which I thought was a bit weird)

Probably a bit selfish of me but Im absolutely devastated. It Just makes no sense. If It would have been me I would have wanted her there.

I know the usual cliches,give it time blah blah but its just devastated me..barely got out of bed,swerved the gym etc.

I read somewhere ages ago that a relationship finishing is like a bereavement and that’s exactly what it feels like. I could honestly just go to sleep and wake up in about 5 years

[DalyanPete]

30 minutes ago, Arniepie said:

not sure if this is the thread for it but fuck it

Never really had the best of luck with relationships and had almost given up when I started chatting to someone on an app a few months. Had a date,hit it off, got on really well and everything was going brilliantly. Talked about spending christmas together and even holidays etc etc

She has had a tough life but I thought what she was telling me was bringing us together.

she had to go for a biopsy and got some bad news. Said they had found something but it hadn’t spread and she would have to have treatment. It obviously knocked her but I said we would get through and I would be there for there for her. Done a bit of reading about it and it said if its caught early,it can be treated. 

 

She said she just needed a bit of time,so I didnt message for a few days.Then dropped her a message to say I was thinking of her. Checked the day later and she had blocked me.

I was absolutely furious and had a spare phone so messaged her as Id left my watch up at hers. Said I can’t believe you have done this and she said she was sorry but she couldn’t bear the thought of me going off her. I said I wouldn’t as I would have been there all the way through it.She said she couldn’t understand why I was being so nice as she wanted me to hate her (which I thought was a bit weird)

Probably a bit selfish of me but Im absolutely devastated. It Just makes no sense. If It would have been me I would have wanted her there.

I know the usual cliches,give it time blah blah but its just devastated me..barely got out of bed,swerved the gym etc.

I read somewhere ages ago that a relationship finishing is like a bereavement and that’s exactly what it feels like. I could honestly just go to sleep and wake up in about 5 years

Just makes you the better person, maybe you dodged a bullet even if it doesn't seem like it now.

[Section_31]

42 minutes ago, Arniepie said:

not sure if this is the thread for it but fuck it

Never really had the best of luck with relationships and had almost given up when I started chatting to someone on an app a few months. Had a date,hit it off, got on really well and everything was going brilliantly. Talked about spending christmas together and even holidays etc etc

She has had a tough life but I thought what she was telling me was bringing us together.

she had to go for a biopsy and got some bad news. Said they had found something but it hadn’t spread and she would have to have treatment. It obviously knocked her but I said we would get through and I would be there for there for her. Done a bit of reading about it and it said if its caught early,it can be treated. 

 

She said she just needed a bit of time,so I didnt message for a few days.Then dropped her a message to say I was thinking of her. Checked the day later and she had blocked me.

I was absolutely furious and had a spare phone so messaged her as Id left my watch up at hers. Said I can’t believe you have done this and she said she was sorry but she couldn’t bear the thought of me going off her. I said I wouldn’t as I would have been there all the way through it.She said she couldn’t understand why I was being so nice as she wanted me to hate her (which I thought was a bit weird)

Probably a bit selfish of me but Im absolutely devastated. It Just makes no sense. If It would have been me I would have wanted her there.

I know the usual cliches,give it time blah blah but its just devastated me..barely got out of bed,swerved the gym etc.

I read somewhere ages ago that a relationship finishing is like a bereavement and that’s exactly what it feels like. I could honestly just go to sleep and wake up in about 5 years

 

Sorry to hear that mate. I don't know what's going on there to be honest. 

 

I spent my entire 20s having experiences like this. Women nice to me one minute then nasty the next, or being used to piss other lads off/make them jealous, boost women's self esteem etc. There's a certain type of lad that attracts this sort of woman and I'm one of them, possibly as I come across as 'a nice guy'. I used to feel like you all the time, just utterly broken and shattered and exhausted by it all to the point that, when decent girls did come along, I didn't bother with them usually. 

 

There's a lot of damaged women out there, I don't know how/why, but that's my experience. I hit the jackpot with my Mrs and the woman I was seeing before her (who I met at a speed dating event - which was boss).

 

My advice would be to swerve apps, online dating etc and go speed dating. Even if you don't meet someone it's just good fun, you get to chat to people and it actually makes you more confident about doing it in the future. It also humanises people as you realise they're in the same boat as you and they're just 'people'.

 

The net and apps helps people hide who they are and that can cause a lot of problems if you're not a fuckup. 

[Arniepie]

1 minute ago, Section_31 said:

 

Sorry to hear that mate. I don't know what's going on there to be honest. 

 

I spent my entire 20s having experiences like this. Women nice to me one minute then nasty the next, or being used to piss other lads off/make them jealous, boost women's self esteem etc. There's a certain type of lad that attracts this sort of woman and I'm one of them, possibly as I come across as 'a nice guy'. I used to feel like you all the time, just utterly broken and shattered and exhausted by it all to the point that, when decent girls did come along, I didn't bother with them usually. 

 

There's a lot of damaged women out there, I don't know how/why, but that's my experience. I hit the jackpot with my Mrs and the woman I was seeing before her (who I met at a speed dating event - which was boss).

 

My advice would be to swerve apps, online dating etc and go speed dating. Even if you don't meet someone it's just good fun, you get to chat to people and it actually makes you more confident about doing it in the future. It also humanises people as you realise they're in the same boat as you and they're just 'people'.

 

The net and apps helps people hide who they are and that can cause a lot of problems if you're not a fuckup. 

 

[Arniepie]

2 minutes ago, Section_31 said:

 

Sorry to hear that mate. I don't know what's going on there to be honest. 

 

I spent my entire 20s having experiences like this. Women nice to me one minute then nasty the next, or being used to piss other lads off/make them jealous, boost women's self esteem etc. There's a certain type of lad that attracts this sort of woman and I'm one of them, possibly as I come across as 'a nice guy'. I used to feel like you all the time, just utterly broken and shattered and exhausted by it all to the point that, when decent girls did come along, I didn't bother with them usually. 

 

There's a lot of damaged women out there, I don't know how/why, but that's my experience. I hit the jackpot with my Mrs and the woman I was seeing before her (who I met at a speed dating event - which was boss).

 

My advice would be to swerve apps, online dating etc and go speed dating. Even if you don't meet someone it's just good fun, you get to chat to people and it actually makes you more confident about doing it in the future. It also humanises people as you realise they're in the same boat as you and they're just 'people'.

 

The net and apps helps people hide who they are and that can cause a lot of problems if you're not a fuckup. 

ta mate

 

I think ive worked out its not even trying to understand the mind of a woman.

 

a pointless endeavour.

[Harry's Lad]

58 minutes ago, Arniepie said:

ta mate

 

I think ive worked out its not even trying to understand the mind of a woman.

 

a pointless endeavour.

I've been with my Mrs for 41 years and while she knows me inside out I still haven't completely sussed her.

 

As deep as the ocean's blue.

[TheSire]

2 hours ago, Arniepie said:

not sure if this is the thread for it but fuck it

Never really had the best of luck with relationships and had almost given up when I started chatting to someone on an app a few months. Had a date,hit it off, got on really well and everything was going brilliantly. Talked about spending christmas together and even holidays etc etc

She has had a tough life but I thought what she was telling me was bringing us together.

she had to go for a biopsy and got some bad news. Said they had found something but it hadn’t spread and she would have to have treatment. It obviously knocked her but I said we would get through and I would be there for there for her. Done a bit of reading about it and it said if its caught early,it can be treated. 

 

She said she just needed a bit of time,so I didnt message for a few days.Then dropped her a message to say I was thinking of her. Checked the day later and she had blocked me.

I was absolutely furious and had a spare phone so messaged her as Id left my watch up at hers. Said I can’t believe you have done this and she said she was sorry but she couldn’t bear the thought of me going off her. I said I wouldn’t as I would have been there all the way through it.She said she couldn’t understand why I was being so nice as she wanted me to hate her (which I thought was a bit weird)

Probably a bit selfish of me but Im absolutely devastated. It Just makes no sense. If It would have been me I would have wanted her there.

I know the usual cliches,give it time blah blah but its just devastated me..barely got out of bed,swerved the gym etc.

I read somewhere ages ago that a relationship finishing is like a bereavement and that’s exactly what it feels like. I could honestly just go to sleep and wake up in about 5 years

Your cock was too big. That's not your fault. 

[Elite]

7 hours ago, Arniepie said:

not sure if this is the thread for it but fuck it

Never really had the best of luck with relationships and had almost given up when I started chatting to someone on an app a few months. Had a date,hit it off, got on really well and everything was going brilliantly. Talked about spending christmas together and even holidays etc etc

She has had a tough life but I thought what she was telling me was bringing us together.

she had to go for a biopsy and got some bad news. Said they had found something but it hadn’t spread and she would have to have treatment. It obviously knocked her but I said we would get through and I would be there for there for her. Done a bit of reading about it and it said if its caught early,it can be treated. 

 

She said she just needed a bit of time,so I didnt message for a few days.Then dropped her a message to say I was thinking of her. Checked the day later and she had blocked me.

I was absolutely furious and had a spare phone so messaged her as Id left my watch up at hers. Said I can’t believe you have done this and she said she was sorry but she couldn’t bear the thought of me going off her. I said I wouldn’t as I would have been there all the way through it.She said she couldn’t understand why I was being so nice as she wanted me to hate her (which I thought was a bit weird)

Probably a bit selfish of me but Im absolutely devastated. It Just makes no sense. If It would have been me I would have wanted her there.

I know the usual cliches,give it time blah blah but its just devastated me..barely got out of bed,swerved the gym etc.

I read somewhere ages ago that a relationship finishing is like a bereavement and that’s exactly what it feels like. I could honestly just go to sleep and wake up in about 5 years

They are all fucking mental mate. It's like sticking your hand in a tombola of crazy and seeing which one you end up with.

[Arniepie]

37 minutes ago, Elite said:

They are all fucking mental mate. It's like sticking your hand in a tombola of crazy and seeing which one you end up with.

I remember someone telling me because they are more mature, they are less likely to be cranks.

Worst advice ever.

[Engineman Hicks]

I’m having a bad time at the moment. Constant work related anxiety, like a parasite worm living in my head. Every waking minute there’s this low level hum of anxiety, eating away at my consciousness. I hate it, hate being awake, hate this fucking thing in my head. 

[YorkshireRed]

36 minutes ago, Engineman Hicks said:

I’m having a bad time at the moment. Constant work related anxiety, like a parasite worm living in my head. Every waking minute there’s this low level hum of anxiety, eating away at my consciousness. I hate it, hate being awake, hate this fucking thing in my head. 

Go on the sick. Take a break. If you can, fuck it off completely. 
 

If you’re not a ‘live for work’ kind of person, then don’t let work rule your life. 
 

Hope you can find some peace. 

[Engineman Hicks]

7 minutes ago, YorkshireRed said:

Go on the sick. Take a break. If you can, fuck it off completely. 
 

If you’re not a ‘live for work’ kind of person, then don’t let work rule your life. 
 

Hope you can find some peace. 

Thanks. I get by counting the days until I can stop. 5 more years then it’s over. I do think I’ve wasted my life making money to buy shit material things mainly for other people to consume  but it’s done now. I’m planning to become a guerrilla gardener, buy myself  a little van and spend my remaining years planting flowers and digging ponds on derelict land sites. This little fantasy keeps me going. 

[Sut]

If you can, get out for a bit. Get signed off. Do something you love. Take the time to heal yourself. It'll do you the world of good.

[Engineman Hicks]

1 hour ago, Sut said:

If you can, get out for a bit. Get signed off. Do something you love. Take the time to heal yourself. It'll do you the world of good.

Thanks. I’m in finance so it’s a very binary world of yearly performance. It’s hard to take time out. 
 

[YorkshireRed]

Not sure if this is the right thread for this, but my mum died this morning.
 

I’m a bit numb but I’m probably ok, maybe the depression will come later. as it has done previously. 
 

She struggled after the death of my dad and losing my brother last year really did for her. Add the Parkinson’s that was starting to properly take hold, and she might have been ready to go. 
 

A mother of five, grandmother of eight, sister, history teacher, keen golfer (got a hole in one once), doctors wife, excellent maker of soups and Sunday lunches, loyal friend and dog lover (her own anyway).

 

RIP Mum. 

[elvis]

7 minutes ago, YorkshireRed said:

Not sure if this is the right thread for this, but my mum died this morning.
 

I’m a bit numb but I’m probably ok, maybe the depression will come later. as it has done previously. 
 

She struggled after the death of my dad and losing my brother last year really did for her. Add the Parkinson’s that was starting to properly take hold, and she might have been ready to go. 
 

A mother of five, grandmother of eight, sister, history teacher, keen golfer (got a hole in one once), doctors wife, excellent maker of soups and Sunday lunches, loyal friend and dog lover (her own anyway).

 

RIP Mum. 

Very sorry to hear this mate , very tough break . I had a very similar experience with my own mother dying years before my dad, he never really recovered. 

Sounds like your mum led a rich and fulfilled life though . 

Take care lad

[Harry's Lad]

6 minutes ago, YorkshireRed said:

Not sure if this is the right thread for this, but my mum died this morning.
 

I’m a bit numb but I’m probably ok, maybe the depression will come later. as it has done previously. 
 

She struggled after the death of my dad and losing my brother last year really did for her. Add the Parkinson’s that was starting to properly take hold, and she might have been ready to go. 
 

A mother of five, grandmother of eight, sister, history teacher, keen golfer (got a hole in one once), doctors wife, excellent maker of soups and Sunday lunches, loyal friend and dog lover (her own anyway).

 

RIP Mum. 

Ah, mate. Really sorry for your loss.

Sounds like she lived a good full life and made a difference.

May she rest in peace.

[elvis]

On 05/11/2024 at 18:09, Engineman Hicks said:

Thanks. I get by counting the days until I can stop. 5 more years then it’s over. I do think I’ve wasted my life making money to buy shit material things mainly for other people to consume  but it’s done now. I’m planning to become a guerrilla gardener, buy myself  a little van and spend my remaining years planting flowers and digging ponds on derelict land sites. This little fantasy keeps me going. 

Hope things pick up for you 

This little fantasy of yours , im struggling to get my head around it ! 

[stringvest]

12 minutes ago, YorkshireRed said:

Not sure if this is the right thread for this, but my mum died this morning.
 

I’m a bit numb but I’m probably ok, maybe the depression will come later. as it has done previously. 
 

She struggled after the death of my dad and losing my brother last year really did for her. Add the Parkinson’s that was starting to properly take hold, and she might have been ready to go. 
 

A mother of five, grandmother of eight, sister, history teacher, keen golfer (got a hole in one once), doctors wife, excellent maker of soups and Sunday lunches, loyal friend and dog lover (her own anyway).

 

RIP Mum. 

so sorry to hear this.  Or does sound like she had a rich and rewarding life, so I’m sure  that will be the abiding memory once the pain of loss has subsided.  Condolences to you and the family 

[Creator Supreme]

15 minutes ago, YorkshireRed said:

Not sure if this is the right thread for this, but my mum died this morning.
 

I’m a bit numb but I’m probably ok, maybe the depression will come later. as it has done previously. 
 

She struggled after the death of my dad and losing my brother last year really did for her. Add the Parkinson’s that was starting to properly take hold, and she might have been ready to go. 
 

A mother of five, grandmother of eight, sister, history teacher, keen golfer (got a hole in one once), doctors wife, excellent maker of soups and Sunday lunches, loyal friend and dog lover (her own anyway).

 

RIP Mum. 

Sorry for your loss mate.

[Carradona]

17 minutes ago, YorkshireRed said:

Not sure if this is the right thread for this, but my mum died this morning.
 

I’m a bit numb but I’m probably ok, maybe the depression will come later. as it has done previously. 
 

She struggled after the death of my dad and losing my brother last year really did for her. Add the Parkinson’s that was starting to properly take hold, and she might have been ready to go. 
 

A mother of five, grandmother of eight, sister, history teacher, keen golfer (got a hole in one once), doctors wife, excellent maker of soups and Sunday lunches, loyal friend and dog lover (her own anyway).

 

RIP Mum. 

Sorry to hear this. Mum died last year on her 62nd birthday and I still think of her everyday. 

[Elite]

24 minutes ago, YorkshireRed said:

Not sure if this is the right thread for this, but my mum died this morning.
 

I’m a bit numb but I’m probably ok, maybe the depression will come later. as it has done previously. 
 

She struggled after the death of my dad and losing my brother last year really did for her. Add the Parkinson’s that was starting to properly take hold, and she might have been ready to go. 
 

A mother of five, grandmother of eight, sister, history teacher, keen golfer (got a hole in one once), doctors wife, excellent maker of soups and Sunday lunches, loyal friend and dog lover (her own anyway).

 

RIP Mum. 

 Condolences mate. 

[Jairzinho]

Sorry to hear that, YR.