Depression

[YorkshireRed]

48 minutes ago, TheSire said:

I'm nor sure tbh, I've thought the exact same thing but it's probably worse for those who are less intelligent because they may have a harder time understanding their mental state and practicing emotional regulation. I think people are good at hiding it or acting up, or using alcohol to deal with it. Totally see where you're coming from though, i think the idea maybe comes from us thinking of famous people etc and we then make that association?

I think more intelligent people are more prone to it (I’ve absolutely no evidence that this is the case), but are, as you say, more able to understand what’s happening and regulate accordingly.

 

Not that I’m for a single second describing myself as intelligent, but I seem to be able to exist as two people, or two minds anyway. One of me has all the same thoughts as CD, sometimes to the point where I frighten myself a little, even though I doubt I’d actually ever go through with it. 
 

The other me stops me getting that far anyway. I’m able to talk myself down when needed. Thank fuck for that me as he’s the only one who sees how much trouble I’m in.

 

CS - try and find your other you. The one that knows you are ill and doesn’t want to lose you anymore than your wife, kids, and everyone on here do. He won’t be able to help you on his own, but he’ll keep your head above water until you let others in. 

[Arniepie]

26 minutes ago, YorkshireRed said:

I think more intelligent people are more prone to it (I’ve absolutely no evidence that this is the case), but are, as you say, more able to understand what’s happening and regulate accordingly.

 

Not that I’m for a single second describing myself as intelligent, but I seem to be able to exist as two people, or two minds anyway. One of me has all the same thoughts as CD, sometimes to the point where I frighten myself a little, even though I doubt I’d actually ever go through with it. 
 

The other me stops me getting that far anyway. I’m able to talk myself down when needed. Thank fuck for that me as he’s the only one who sees how much trouble I’m in.

 

CS - try and find your other you. The one that knows you are ill and doesn’t want to lose you anymore than your wife, kids, and everyone on here do. He won’t be able to help you on his own, but he’ll keep your head above water until you let others in. 

I think if you 'think"more you are probably more prone to over analysing stuff and thus worrying about things more.

Morons tend to go through life not worrying about stuff and blaming immigrants for everything  

[TheSire]

49 minutes ago, YorkshireRed said:

I think more intelligent people are more prone to it (I’ve absolutely no evidence that this is the case), but are, as you say, more able to understand what’s happening and regulate accordingly.

 

Not that I’m for a single second describing myself as intelligent, but I seem to be able to exist as two people, or two minds anyway. One of me has all the same thoughts as CD, sometimes to the point where I frighten myself a little, even though I doubt I’d actually ever go through with it. 
 

The other me stops me getting that far anyway. I’m able to talk myself down when needed. Thank fuck for that me as he’s the only one who sees how much trouble I’m in.

 

CS - try and find your other you. The one that knows you are ill and doesn’t want to lose you anymore than your wife, kids, and everyone on here do. He won’t be able to help you on his own, but he’ll keep your head above water until you let others in. 

Really good advice. Thoughts are just suggestions or offers in our mind, nothing more. We all have weird thoughts but we don't have to pay conplete attention to them, they also aren't a reflection of reality necessarily.

 

The shitty thing about depression is it causes these negative thoughts to loop because rumination is so hard to control, the ability to redirect your thoughts is impaired so depressed people genuinely believe the things they think and say.

 

The lack of energy and motivation make it hard to work on this so it's a nasty fucker. SSRIs help by dampening down the fear center in the brain which then allow the person to actually work on their problems. CS hopefully finds the fight to battle this cunt of an illness.

[John102]

6 hours ago, Creator Supreme said:

Thanks for your confidence in me but it is misplaced.

 

If and when my parents home sells, I will be paying off my mortgage and car loan, transferring some to the kids, the rest to missus, and then I will be departing this mortal coil.

 

And it really feels like a weight has been lifted, I can see the end. Thank fuck.

Dont say this. We have the LA Olympics to look forward to. However bad it gets think of KJT, Keeley Hodkinson and the other ladies that we have to look forward to.

[littletedwest]

Seriously down at the moment.

 

Million reasons but for a start.

 

Grief, lost my stepdaughter last October. Can't even cry about that much now feel like it's just blocked our. But I've done plenty crying.

 

My relationship- my partner has always been hard work. Now more than ever ( and not because of our loss) she has pain in her back ect. But basically feel like I'm a slave at times. Last Week she asked me empty front room before I painted. Took me a bit. She expressly said let me check it when your done. She then lies down on bed chatting to our son in law. She comes down and I'm lay on the one couch she said to leave in the room.  Goes mad because I've not poured the paint yet. Telling  me I've done fuck all. Was so Close to walking out. When I'm off all she does is find shit for me to do. To the point where my son in law came round and did some work just so I can have a day off yesterday. Speaks to me like shit. But how can I walk away from someone after 20 years after she's lost her daughter and can't even get out of bed some days with her physical pain.

 

Money- trying cover two people from one wage is fucking hard. I haven't been away for five years and haven't been abroad for six. My car is old enough play in our first team and has two massive dents either side.

 

Health- this you can't make up. I have lost four teeth to teeth grinding. No cure for that.

Developed something called peyronie's disease which causes painful erections ( not like i have sex) and has shrunk my nob.Oh and ulcerative colitis diagnosed last year as well.

 

I'm 44 and I look back and think of what could have been if I'd have made different choices or been dealt a better hand. 

 

Nothing to do but thought I'd get it down in writing.

 

 

 

 

[Creator Supreme]

3 minutes ago, littletedwest said:

Seriously down at the moment.

 

Million reasons but for a start.

 

Grief, lost my stepdaughter last October. Can't even cry about that much now feel like it's just blocked our. But I've done plenty crying.

 

My relationship- my partner has always been hard work. Now more than ever ( and not because of our loss) she has pain in her back ect. But basically feel like I'm a slave at times. Last Week she asked me empty front room before I painted. Took me a bit. She expressly said let me check it when your done. She then lies down on bed chatting to our son in law. She comes down and I'm lay on the one couch she said to leave in the room.  Goes mad because I've not poured the paint yet. Telling  me I've done fuck all. Was so Close to walking out. When I'm off all she does is find shit for me to do. To the point where my son in law came round and did some work just so I can have a day off yesterday. Speaks to me like shit. But how can I walk away from someone after 20 years after she's lost her daughter and can't even get out of bed some days with her physical pain.

 

Money- trying cover two people from one wage is fucking hard. I haven't been away for five years and haven't been abroad for six. My car is old enough play in our first team and has two massive dents either side.

 

Health- this you can't make up. I have lost four teeth to teeth grinding. No cure for that.

Developed something called peyronie's disease which causes painful erections ( not like i have sex) and has shrunk my nob.Oh and ulcerative colitis diagnosed last year as well.

 

I'm 44 and I look back and think of what could have been if I'd have made different choices or been dealt a better hand. 

 

Nothing to do but thought I'd get it down in writing.

 

 

 

 

I'm sorry you feel like this mate, there are some great people on here so you've done right putting it down.

 

Like the folks have been telling me, you need to speak to somebody about this.

[TheSire]

2 hours ago, Arniepie said:

I think if you 'think"more you are probably more prone to over analysing stuff and thus worrying about things more.

Morons tend to go through life not worrying about stuff and blaming immigrants for everything  

This is a big factor tbh, I'd also say we're more aware that those people suffer because they're more likely to identify the problem and express it, vs someone less intelligent who will just drink through it and compensate through bravado etc. 

[TheSire]

1 hour ago, littletedwest said:

Seriously down at the moment.

 

Million reasons but for a start.

 

Grief, lost my stepdaughter last October. Can't even cry about that much now feel like it's just blocked our. But I've done plenty crying.

 

My relationship- my partner has always been hard work. Now more than ever ( and not because of our loss) she has pain in her back ect. But basically feel like I'm a slave at times. Last Week she asked me empty front room before I painted. Took me a bit. She expressly said let me check it when your done. She then lies down on bed chatting to our son in law. She comes down and I'm lay on the one couch she said to leave in the room.  Goes mad because I've not poured the paint yet. Telling  me I've done fuck all. Was so Close to walking out. When I'm off all she does is find shit for me to do. To the point where my son in law came round and did some work just so I can have a day off yesterday. Speaks to me like shit. But how can I walk away from someone after 20 years after she's lost her daughter and can't even get out of bed some days with her physical pain.

 

Money- trying cover two people from one wage is fucking hard. I haven't been away for five years and haven't been abroad for six. My car is old enough play in our first team and has two massive dents either side.

 

Health- this you can't make up. I have lost four teeth to teeth grinding. No cure for that.

Developed something called peyronie's disease which causes painful erections ( not like i have sex) and has shrunk my nob.Oh and ulcerative colitis diagnosed last year as well.

 

I'm 44 and I look back and think of what could have been if I'd have made different choices or been dealt a better hand. 

 

Nothing to do but thought I'd get it down in writing.

 

 

 

 

It's difficult because it feels like you can't call something out given recent circumstances but you can if it's out of hand. Try just being matter of fact and keeping emotion out of it, it may avoid it escalating or her feeling attacked. Just because of her situation, doesn't give her or anyone a free pass to be a cock. 

[TheSire]

Just now, TheSire said:

It's difficult because it feels like you can't call something out given recent circumstances but you can if it's out of hand. Try just being matter of fact and keeping emotion out of it, it may avoid it escalating or her feeling attacked. Just because of her situation, doesn't give her or anyone a free pass to be a cock. 

Also the fact you're saying she's always been hard work means you have to communicate this to her at some point. There's never a perfect time, you don't have to shout etc as people shut down then, just think of a few examples and keep it factual, even if she bites back, don't rise to the bait.

[TheSire]

1 hour ago, Creator Supreme said:

I'm sorry you feel like this mate, there are some great people on here so you've done right putting it down.

 

Like the folks have been telling me, you need to speak to somebody about this.

Thanks mate. Good man.

[Engineman Hicks]

10 hours ago, Creator Supreme said:

I'm sorry you feel like this mate, there are some great people on here so you've done right putting it down.

 

Like the folks have been telling me, you need to speak to somebody about this.

I go to see a therapist once a week. Middle aged woman with a little yappy dog called Cosmo who is always pleased to see me. It does make a difference (both the therapy and the dog’s adoration ). I’m like Tony with Dr Melfi, a big weekly shit where I just dump all the stuff in my head. Mrs Hicks says after 20 years of being difficult I’m now much easier to live with.
 

Try it. What’s the worse that could happen? 

[TheSire]

20 minutes ago, Engineman Hicks said:

I go to see a therapist once a week. Middle aged woman with a little yappy dog called Cosmo who is always pleased to see me. It does make a difference (both the therapy and the dog’s adoration ). I’m like Tony with Dr Melfi, a big weekly shit where I just dump all the stuff in my head. Mrs Hicks says after 20 years of being difficult I’m now much easier to live with.
 

Try it. What’s the worse that could happen? 

I think the moral of the story is, procure numerous dogs.

[TheSire]

21 minutes ago, Engineman Hicks said:

I go to see a therapist once a week. Middle aged woman with a little yappy dog called Cosmo who is always pleased to see me. It does make a difference (both the therapy and the dog’s adoration ). I’m like Tony with Dr Melfi, a big weekly shit where I just dump all the stuff in my head. Mrs Hicks says after 20 years of being difficult I’m now much easier to live with.
 

Try it. What’s the worse that could happen? 

CS, if you're not already doing so, ask your GP for an anti depressant and THEN do the above. The anti-depressant isn't what will fix your underlying condition but it'll change your outlook and allow you to cope and stop these nagging voices. Then the idea of taking the next step and approaching the problem won't feel like an uphill struggle or climbing a mountain littered with dog shits, angry men throwing fruit at you from above and telling you you're shit at walking up hills.

[Creator Supreme]

Been on antidepressants on and off for the last 20 years mate, mostly on. Still on them now.

 

Had therapy before too. Works for a little while (except CBT which I found to be as pointless as Everton), but then the effect wears off and I'm back here.

 

I have ups and downs, but the downs are worse now and last longer.

 

That's why I like my plan. Its an ending to all this. May not be the one that society and all you lovely people think is a good idea, but it's an ending.

 

And that's what I need.

[luxury_scruff]

To the two lads who are really suffering at the moment, please go and see your GP. It will open up other areas for you to receive help.

 

A good few years ago, my wife died of breast cancer. During the whirlwind of her treatment and the subsequent scans/check-ups in the years that followed, I drove out into the country and found a wall that hid my car. I then connected a garden hose to my exhaust and turned on the ignition*.

 

It was the thought of my son that brought me round. I do know how life events and 'relationships' can drive you to take the most bizarre of routes. I just needed the unending pain in my head (mind) to go away. it was relentless.

 

But the truth is, I wasn't strong enough to get the correct sense of perspective that was needed.

 

At the moment, I am dealing with two 'event-based' anxieties around driving and flying.

 

Your brain (mind) cannot tell the difference between being in those situations, and thinking about being in those situations. And I think about them a lot; anticipatory anxiety is what this is called.

 

One thing that is really helping me, is revisiting Steve Peter's 'The Chimp Paradox' work.

 

If you read these slowly, it can make real sense to you. Your emotional brain (the chimp) is taking over. It is stronger and it is aided and abetted by another part of your brain that works in conjunction with your 'chimp'.

 

I can't attach the .pdf here. But if anybody wants to PM me with their email address, I can send it over, together with another one of his books that has some exercises to work through.

 

I hope that in some small way that these help people. Understanding what is going on can slow down the spiral that is reaching for your ankles.

 

Two notes:

 

1) To the poster 'AngryOfTuebrook' - I sincerely apologise for my behaviour/response to you on another thread recently.

 

*2) I realised on the drive home that my car was a diesel model. Wouldn't have worked anyway.

 

Peace... x

[M_B]

Yeah, good shout - The Chimp Paradox is worth a read.

 

 

[Babb'sBurstNad]

3 hours ago, Engineman Hicks said:

I go to see a therapist once a week. Middle aged woman with a little yappy dog called Cosmo who is always pleased to see me. It does make a difference (both the therapy and the dog’s adoration ). I’m like Tony with Dr Melfi, a big weekly shit where I just dump all the stuff in my head. Mrs Hicks says after 20 years of being difficult I’m now much easier to live with.
 

Try it. What’s the worse that could happen? 

 

And, like Tony, you're covered by patient - client confidentiality when discussing your murders.

[Engineman Hicks]

19 minutes ago, Babb'sBurstNad said:

 

And, like Tony, you're covered by patient - client confidentiality when discussing your murders.

Ha ha. I mainly bitch about pro bean posters on here 

[KMD7]

2 hours ago, Creator Supreme said:

Been on antidepressants on and off for the last 20 years mate, mostly on. Still on them now.

 

Had therapy before too. Works for a little while (except CBT which I found to be as pointless as Everton), but then the effect wears off and I'm back here.

 

I have ups and downs, but the downs are worse now and last longer.

 

That's why I like my plan. Its an ending to all this. May not be the one that society and all you lovely people think is a good idea, but it's an ending.

 

And that's what I need.

 

Have you tried or been directed towards Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) mate? I think it's more effective than CBT. I have a very good friend that has been using it to help with his depression and it has worked wonders for him ( along with medication). He literally had nowhere else to go but it's changed his life. I'm obviously not an expert so don't want to appear preachy but worth a try imo

[Elite]

Weather has changed as well, think that could be affecting people. I feel down in the last few days as well.

[TheSire]

2 hours ago, Creator Supreme said:

Been on antidepressants on and off for the last 20 years mate, mostly on. Still on them now.

 

Had therapy before too. Works for a little while (except CBT which I found to be as pointless as Everton), but then the effect wears off and I'm back here.

 

I have ups and downs, but the downs are worse now and last longer.

 

That's why I like my plan. Its an ending to all this. May not be the one that society and all you lovely people think is a good idea, but it's an ending.

 

And that's what I need.

I can understand why people give in because it feels like groundhog day. It's entirely possible you've been misdiagnosed in the past and the treatment just won't work without the correct medication.

 

I'll give you a common scenario, that might apply to you because you mentioned that you suspect one of your kids has autism. It's VERY common for people with autism and ADHD to be misdiagnosed with things like depression and bipolar. The medications for these and treatments aren't effective because they don't address the underlying causes of the mood disorders.

 

For example with ADHD the part of the brain that's impacted (that causes things like impulsivity, poor self control etc) also does the job of regulating enotion and directing behaviour (this is both STOPPING you from doing things and helping you CORRECTLY carry out a task).

 

Regulating emotions is a form of self directed behaviour (the ability to zoom out and problem solve such as direct your attention elsewhere or recognise that you're being a cunt to yourself with what you tell yourself).

 

Stimulant medication compensates for the poor connectivity into the upper areas of the brain. You'd expect a stimulant to make you feel wired or drugged up but it results in a balance of being clear headed but at peace and shuts off that anxiety, unprovoked stress and low mood/fatigue. You basically stop having a bias towards the world seeming like a nasty, scary place.

 

I used to always have swings between flat, dull mood with no enthusiasm to being anxious and jittery for no obvious reason and it's fucking draining. I was diagnosed with ADHD in February and literally from the first dose I've felt like a switch was flicked and I feel 'normal'.

 

No waiting for SSRIs to kick in, no side effects at all (cold hands if it's freezing but who gives a shit?).

 

- Everything in life has gotten MASSIVELY easier

- I feel enthusiasm about life and the future

- I no longer wonder what I'll feel like the next day

- I sleep better and wake feeling rested

- I no longer wake feeling like a zombie and struggle through every day

- I no longer feel agitated and jittery as the evening hits

- I no longer feel a constant sense of boredom and pointlessness and chase novelty and risk just to feel something 

- I'm healthier and stick to my goals and follow through on plans

- My relationship and friendships are much better

- I don't feel a horrible sense of fight or flight in the face of arguments with the Mrs etc

 

And I'm KINDER to myself.

 

It would be really fucking sad to give up before rolling the dice and looking in another direction. What you're going through is massively common because there are an estimated 2 million people in the UK with ADHD, suicide rates for untreated ADHD are about 4 times higher vs the general population, just because of a lack of awareness and understanding of the condition.

 

You could well be missing out of something life changing for you and those around you.

 

You probably won't because you've convinced yourself that there's no hope, and I understand why. Feel free to inbox and call me a cunt, you don't even have to commit to anything, just ask me about it and we may have a similar experience.

 

Up to you mate. Just this comfort zone you're currently in is blinding you to another outcome. You can stop all of this suffering, without dying.

[TheSire]

I feel rather nude.

[TheSire]

3 hours ago, luxury_scruff said:

To the two lads who are really suffering at the moment, please go and see your GP. It will open up other areas for you to receive help.

 

A good few years ago, my wife died of breast cancer. During the whirlwind of her treatment and the subsequent scans/check-ups in the years that followed, I drove out into the country and found a wall that hid my car. I then connected a garden hose to my exhaust and turned on the ignition*.

 

It was the thought of my son that brought me round. I do know how life events and 'relationships' can drive you to take the most bizarre of routes. I just needed the unending pain in my head (mind) to go away. it was relentless.

 

But the truth is, I wasn't strong enough to get the correct sense of perspective that was needed.

 

At the moment, I am dealing with two 'event-based' anxieties around driving and flying.

 

Your brain (mind) cannot tell the difference between being in those situations, and thinking about being in those situations. And I think about them a lot; anticipatory anxiety is what this is called.

 

One thing that is really helping me, is revisiting Steve Peter's 'The Chimp Paradox' work.

 

If you read these slowly, it can make real sense to you. Your emotional brain (the chimp) is taking over. It is stronger and it is aided and abetted by another part of your brain that works in conjunction with your 'chimp'.

 

I can't attach the .pdf here. But if anybody wants to PM me with their email address, I can send it over, together with another one of his books that has some exercises to work through.

 

I hope that in some small way that these help people. Understanding what is going on can slow down the spiral that is reaching for your ankles.

 

Two notes:

 

1) To the poster 'AngryOfTuebrook' - I sincerely apologise for my behaviour/response to you on another thread recently.

 

*2) I realised on the drive home that my car was a diesel model. Wouldn't have worked anyway.

 

Peace... x

I have read that actually, good author and guy. I have ADHD and basically the chimp part is like a goliath, and the human part of underactive because of a lack of thickness in the surface of the prefrontal cortex (and hippocampus which is why concentration and working memory are impaired).

 

Medication compensates for this by increasing activity in those circuits which levels the playing field vs a typical brain. Once this is dealt with, it's so much easier to consistently learn new habits such as replacing unhelpful thought processes with more rational ones, shutting up the chimp when it would usually start smashing things up and throwing bananas at the wall (and turd.

[M_B]

1 hour ago, Elite said:

Weather has changed as well, think that could be affecting people. I feel down in the last few days as well.

 

And I can't stop eating. My hibernation gene has kicked in. 

[elvis]

1 hour ago, TheSire said:

I have read that actually, good author and guy. I have ADHD and basically the chimp part is like a goliath, and the human part of underactive because of a lack of thickness in the surface of the prefrontal cortex (and hippocampus which is why concentration and working memory are impaired).

 

Medication compensates for this by increasing activity in those circuits which levels the playing field vs a typical brain. Once this is dealt with, it's so much easier to consistently learn new habits such as replacing unhelpful thought processes with more rational ones, shutting up the chimp when it would usually start smashing things up and throwing bananas at the wall (and turd.

Is it a difficult process to test for ADHD ? My daughter is in Liverpool uni  , and is convinced she has it - all the symptoms point to it apparently. She struggles like hell to concentrate, and caffeine helps she says , but she seems to be ultra sensitive to it and can give her a racing pulse . Her gp is over here on the isle of man, and  she seems to think it's a very long winded process to diagnose?