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Just now, Creator Supreme said:

I'm on my lunch break and she's speaking to me, but still getting snarls.

 

I may just go find a pub when I'm finished work, drink until I shit myself, the just lay on the motorway.


I would prefer it if you did not do this. Although what I would prefer, matters not. There will be others who also would prefer you not to do this, who do matter. You matter.

 

The language you’re using is concerning. Please get some help. 

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3 hours ago, Captain Turdseye said:

It’s my dad’s funeral on Friday. I’m carrying him in and doing the eulogy. I don’t wanna do it, even though I know I’ll be pleased afterwards that I did. It’s thoughtful, it’s funny, it’s heartfelt. It may be the best thing I’ve ever written. I’m still shit scared of reading it out in front of a packed church though. 
 

Dunno about depression but this shit has been on my mind constantly for weeks. I just want it out of the way now. I know that when I drive home on Saturday/Sunday a massive weight will be lifted off my shoulders. Physically and metaphorically. 

I'm sorry for your loss John. Losing your dad is a tough thing to deal with and it does weigh heavily.I

Your trepidation is understandable and is completely normal as I think most people who have been there would agree with.

It looks like you've got it though and I've no doubt you'll do your dad and yourself proud.

Thoughts are with you mate, I'll raise a glass.

 

 

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27 minutes ago, YorkshireRed said:


I would prefer it if you did not do this. Although what I would prefer, matters not. There will be others who also would prefer you not to do this, who do matter. You matter.

 

The language you’re using is concerning. Please get some help. 

Absolutely this.

Take a step back C.S and see a doctor. Urgently.

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What's the point? In 6 or 12 months I'll be back here again.

 

I don't even know why I'm still sat here working, loyalty I suppose  or maybe the wish to have at least completed a days work.

 

Thanks for your input you wonderful people, even the Tories and anti-beaners.

 

I'll see you around.

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3 minutes ago, Creator Supreme said:

What's the point? In 6 or 12 months I'll be back here again.

 

I don't even know why I'm still sat here working, loyalty I suppose  or maybe the wish to have at least completed a days work.

 

Thanks for your input you wonderful people, even the Tories and anti-beaners.

 

I'll see you around.

First of all, I'm not a tory, fuck off with that bollocks. I'm a wonderful person, that I give you.

 

Now, you too could be a wonderful person by just recognising that you need a bit of help. Make an appointment now and tell them how you feel. You never know this time might be life changing. Please.

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5 hours ago, Captain Turdseye said:

It’s my dad’s funeral on Friday. I’m carrying him in and doing the eulogy. I don’t wanna do it, even though I know I’ll be pleased afterwards that I did. It’s thoughtful, it’s funny, it’s heartfelt. It may be the best thing I’ve ever written. I’m still shit scared of reading it out in front of a packed church though. 
 

Dunno about depression but this shit has been on my mind constantly for weeks. I just want it out of the way now. I know that when I drive home on Saturday/Sunday a massive weight will be lifted off my shoulders. Physically and metaphorically. 

I spoke at my dad's funeral about 8 years ago now - I still remember the feeling of lightness I felt as soon as it was over and we got to the wake - it was like the proper process of grieving could begin. And no one in that church will be judging you, everyone will just be in awe of you getting up there and speaking given the circumstances.

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10 minutes ago, sh#t waffle said:

I spoke at my dad's funeral about 8 years ago now - I still remember the feeling of lightness I felt as soon as it was over and we got to the wake - it was like the proper process of grieving could begin. And no one in that church will be judging you, everyone will just be in awe of you getting up there and speaking given the circumstances.

This is spot on.

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@Creator Supreme really try not to drink today mate. You’ll feel better in the morning even just a tiny bit that you’ve achieved a little step. PM open as ever mate sorry you’re going through this. It will get better I promise even when it doesn’t seem it. 

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1 hour ago, Bjornebye said:

@Creator Supreme really try not to drink today mate. You’ll feel better in the morning even just a tiny bit that you’ve achieved a little step. PM open as ever mate sorry you’re going through this. It will get better I promise even when it doesn’t seem it. 

No booze in the house (none that I like anyway), and I'm potless.

 

Really cannot be fucked with life anymore.

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6 minutes ago, Creator Supreme said:

No booze in the house (none that I like anyway), and I'm potless.

 

Really cannot be fucked with life anymore.


I get it mate. Easy to say stuff like say strong etc but you need to find something different as soon as possible. 

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3 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:


I get it mate. Easy to say stuff like say strong etc but you need to find something different as soon as possible. 

A nice long walk off a short pier will do me the power of good.

 

Either that or I'll have to drink gin.

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6 minutes ago, Creator Supreme said:

A nice long walk off a short pier will do me the power of good.

 

Either that or I'll have to drink gin.


Yeah well try not to choose either ffs x but if you have to, Gin and your favourite music 

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I had a dermatology appointment today which takes forever to get and I forgot to show the doctor one of the moles I'm worried about. Sometimes I think I subconsciously do this shit on purpose to stay depressed and anxious.

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3 minutes ago, 3 Stacks said:

I had a dermatology appointment today which takes forever to get and I forgot to show the doctor one of the moles I'm worried about. Sometimes I think I subconsciously do this shit on purpose to stay depressed and anxious.

Catastrophising. I'm an old hand at it mate.

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Just wanted to say, some of what you're saying and your mindset reminds me of me in the past.

 

 

 

Please give some thought into an ADHD assessment if you can find the energy to do one single thing.

 

 

 

The feeling of boredom, lack of any pleasure, frequent slip ups, sick of making mistakes and then not knowing why you do certain things even though you know they're wrong.

 

 

 

It doesn't have to be this difficult and it can feel good and exciting again, like a second life.

 

 

 

Feel free to ask me anything if you do consider it. Happy to guide you through the process if you don't know where to start.

 

 

 

Peace.

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48 minutes ago, TheSire said:

Just wanted to say, some of what you're saying and your mindset reminds me of me in the past.

 

 

 

Please give some thought into an ADHD assessment if you can find the energy to do one single thing.

 

 

 

The feeling of boredom, lack of any pleasure, frequent slip ups, sick of making mistakes and then not knowing why you do certain things even though you know they're wrong.

 

 

 

It doesn't have to be this difficult and it can feel good and exciting again, like a second life.

 

 

 

Feel free to ask me anything if you do consider it. Happy to guide you through the process if you don't know where to start.

 

 

 

Peace.

Was this at me or Creator?

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On 05/06/2024 at 09:56, Captain Turdseye said:

It’s my dad’s funeral on Friday. I’m carrying him in and doing the eulogy. I don’t wanna do it, even though I know I’ll be pleased afterwards that I did. It’s thoughtful, it’s funny, it’s heartfelt. It may be the best thing I’ve ever written. I’m still shit scared of reading it out in front of a packed church though. 
 

Dunno about depression but this shit has been on my mind constantly for weeks. I just want it out of the way now. I know that when I drive home on Saturday/Sunday a massive weight will be lifted off my shoulders. Physically and metaphorically. 

 

I cannot emphasise enough how much you will benefit long term from doing that, it's a huge testament of your character to others but most importantly yourself, be very proud of yourself mate, it won't be pleasant but the misery will get some appeasement from knowing you've stepped up.

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On 05/06/2024 at 09:20, A Red said:

Come on now, get a grip, you've got loads to live for. Soon to be mortgage free, all that money better off each month. Treat yourself.

 

You haven't managed to piss me off yet, loads have but not you. Plenty to work towards there.

 

 

I know this is written strictly with a GF tone but I think it sums up perfectly what a cruel animal Depression is, 90% of the population will only ever dream of inheriting a major cash sum, some can only ever dream of having a child, but it all adds up to fuck all when you're depressed, getting a grip is the hardest thing in the world.

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13 minutes ago, Ezekiel 25:17 said:

inheriting a major cash sum, some can only ever dream of having a child

Yeah, feel guilty about that.

 

I've obviously screwed my kids up, and as for the money that's all down to my dad being careful (too bloody careful at times).

 

I'd rather have my old fella still here, and my kids not screwed up.

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Getting a grip is fanciful and ultimately debilitating as it is completely amorphous and suggests there is something you "should" be doing, something that will make you in control- life is difficult, it is not something you can control no matter how careful you try to be - any expectations should start there.

 

Coming to grips may be a better goal and will lead to a better mindset.

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I’ve found working on Inner Child issues has really helped me. Google and check it out, but essentially my depression is driven by anger at unresolved, emotional injuries as a a child. ‘Injury’ can include not receiving the emotional care one needed as part of your development. Honestly was a game-changer for me and I can recommend it. Start with “Homecoming” by John Bradshaw.

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2 hours ago, Creator Supreme said:

Yeah, feel guilty about that.

 

I've obviously screwed my kids up, and as for the money that's all down to my dad being careful (too bloody careful at times).

 

I'd rather have my old fella still here, and my kids not screwed up.

See that's the depressed mind talking, not you. That depression cunt playing down your achievements, giving others credit instead. Exaggerating failures.

 

Depression is a liar, try to remind yourself that these aren't really your thoughts, because if you were feeling better you'd not come to these types of conclusions.

 

Try to separate yourself from the depression and these intrusive thoughts. Think of it this way, you'd not talk to someone else that way, so why do we treat ourselves like shit? You don't deserve any less than us.

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