Depression

[Hades]

Right, didn't want to bump this, but don't know what else to do.

 

I'm going through some fairly minor shit at the moment. We've sold our house, but the house we were buying has fallen through.

 

We've found another one now, but it will take a while to sort out.

 

We're split between my ma in laws and my sisters, and it's been over a month now, and hints are being dropped about us fucking off.

 

This has sent my anxiety levels through the roof, my meds aren't effective anymore, I'm not eating properly, and I can only see one way out of this mess.

 

Has anyone got a suggestion as to a painless quick way to end it?

 

I don't want to be talked out of it, I just want the easiest way out!!

 

Creator, the following might come across a bit patronising, but it's intended in the best spirit. 

 

Women are nearly twice as likely to be diagnosed with depression as men but men are three times more likely to commit suicide. There's a reason - women are more likely to seek help, talk through their problems and regard it as a treatable illness. There are support groups online, or if you see a therapist, they might recommend you one. Look into it. 

 

Don't fall into the trap of male ego or having to live up to expectations. Treat this as the sombre, life-threatening illness it is and shop around for better meds. It's your depression that's stopping you seeking help, not you. The real you is a happy, functional, active person. You wouldn't stop shopping around for cancer medication after the first one didn't work, don't do the same with depression. 

 

Also, I don't know any other way to put this, but you need to be an arsehole to get what you want when it comes to support from doctors and other healthcare providers. There's too many who'll brush you off unless you're willing to assert exactly the standard of care you need and the options you want to discuss. 

 

Good luck mate, it's a long journey, but well worth it. At the very least it will give you some distraction from thoughts of suicide, which are a massive burden to carry around. 

[ZonkoVille77]

Great post, Hades

[Champ]

Creator, the following might come across a bit patronising, but it's intended in the best spirit. 

 

Women are nearly twice as likely to be diagnosed with depression as men but men are three times more likely to commit suicide. There's a reason - women are more likely to seek help, talk through their problems and regard it as a treatable illness. There are support groups online, or if you see a therapist, they might recommend you one. Look into it. 

 

Don't fall into the trap of male ego or having to live up to expectations. Treat this as the sombre, life-threatening illness it is and shop around for better meds. It's your depression that's stopping you seeking help, not you. The real you is a happy, functional, active person. You wouldn't stop shopping around for cancer medication after the first one didn't work, don't do the same with depression. 

 

Also, I don't know any other way to put this, but you need to be an arsehole to get what you want when it comes to support from doctors and other healthcare providers. There's too many who'll brush you off unless you're willing to assert exactly the standard of care you need and the options you want to discuss. 

 

Good luck mate, it's a long journey, but well worth it. At the very least it will give you some distraction from thoughts of suicide, which are a massive burden to carry around.

 

More of this, Hades

[KMD7]

Nicely put Hades

[littletedwest]

Hopefully you're feeling better pal. I've had a drink so apologies for any spelling errors.

When I was 24 I bought a rope put it round my neck and thankfully bottled it.

I was looking for a permanent solution for a temporary problem

I saw some bad and let that overule the good.

12 years later I'm so glad. I've had so many good times since..

Also seen it from my Mrs side her brother hung himself 6 year ago. She's lost her parents, another sister but that haunts her all the time.

The belief that she could have done something (she couldn't)

Hang tight pal bad times pass, the darkest hours before the dawn and people love you

[Nunavut Patrick]

I am numb to suicide as I saw it so much where I worked (I taught a gr. five class that had three boys kill themselves later on...that's three student out of a class of 18).

 

I have been to some dark places, the proverbial rabbit hole. It's hatd to see the end of the tunnel. At my worst I could not see beyond fifteen minutes, I would look at a clock and think I am not going to make half nine, I can remember being at a small airport and thinking I am not getting on this aeroplane because it means two hours and I won't be able make a decision at 27000ft, i will have to wait to land and then end it and I didn't want to wait that long.

 

I have no idea why or how I got on the plane; just that is was really a bad place mentally for me to be in.

 

I think back to that day, it was around January 2015 and some other events that followed, some things I am pretty ashamed of (but to my credit I did not have sex with this half Belgium bird I met on PoF) and somehow came out the other end.

 

I did not seek help. I wish I had earlier as I think it would have saved a lot of hurt for myself and my family and even the ex.

 

Life is shite at times, people wrong you but in the end you chose how to deal with that. And asking for help is one of the nest choices you can make, I regret I didn't.

 

Hades is alright for a commie I reckon. I bet him and rico could find a middle ground over a brandy and a Cuban cigar.

[Section_31]

I am numb to suicide as I saw it so much where I worked (I taught a gr. five class that had three boys kill themselves later on...that's three student out of a class of 18).

 

I have been to some dark places, the proverbial rabbit hole. It's hatd to see the end of the tunnel. At my worst I could not see beyond fifteen minutes, I would look at a clock and think I am not going to make half nine, I can remember being at a small airport and thinking I am not getting on this aeroplane because it means two hours and I won't be able make a decision at 27000ft, i will have to wait to land and then end it and I didn't want to wait that long.

 

I have no idea why or how I got on the plane; just that is was really a bad place mentally for me to be in.

 

I think back to that day, it was around January 2015 and some other events that followed, some things I am pretty ashamed of (but to my credit I did not have sex with this half Belgium bird I met on PoF) and somehow came out the other end.

 

I did not seek help. I wish I had earlier as I think it would have saved a lot of hurt for myself and my family and even the ex.

 

Life is shite at times, people wrong you but in the end you chose how to deal with that. And asking for help is one of the nest choices you can make, I regret I didn't.

 

Hades is alright for a commie I reckon. I bet him and rico could find a middle ground over a brandy and a Cuban cigar.

 

Was a lot of that down to the weather/darkness do you reckon NP?

 

I read a thing a while back that said the closer you live to the equator the lower the suicide rates, which is amazing in the sense that a lot of those countries are poorer - it shows you how much of it is down to chemicals in the brain. 

[easytoslip]

It's an awful thing and often goes undetected or missed as an underlying cause for other ailments often put down to stress.

 

I bad a cousin whose missus left him for another leaving him with the kids and all that,being obviously down and stressed he drove to work from l'pool to Chester , so nothing wrong there being able to drive and keep his senses together ,road sense then at some stage in the day he was found hanging in the workplace toilets , so what happened there to do that all of a sudden?

 

Also had a mate I got a start for to pair up with me on a good well paid job that wasn't hectic , every now and then he'd go into a dark place , this I would notice and I'd act as if nothing untoward and I'd carry him through the day , a really nice lad too but in the end he decided to leave work altogether which could be seen as sensible as it was scaffolding.

 

Its a terrible affliction that some of the least expected suffer from

 

From mild to manic people should be aware that sufferers can't help and I've seen some picked on by bullying types when showing symptoms pretty awful behaviour.

 

Who knows what causes this ghastly condition and what triggers it , the brain is both an amazing and yet terrifying organ that holds back possible past traumatic experiences and release them at anytime.

 

I think it's being addressed more openly these days and it is a disease of sorts , one that afflicts many and I have the greatest sympathy with sufferers as I'm not without the odd dark and stressful moments myself and seen first hand how it affects not only the victim of of depression but their loved ones and friends too.

[lifetime fan]

It's an absolute cunt but the only way to get more people (men) to accept/tolerate/exist with it is by talking about it.

 

I still feel like a twat just mentioning it, I was working and living in Dubai with the love of my life and things were A fucking 1.

 

I wasn't though, and it was so all consuming I was either going to kill someone or myself. The bird found me in the pool of our villa asleep face down with 6 empty vodka bottles by the side.

 

I jacked in the job and flew home that night.

 

I'm starting to ramble and go off on all sorts of shite, I guess what I'm wanting to say is you have an obligation to talk about it. The only thing that saved my life was hearing others talk about the dark nasty places they'd been. If I'd not read that I wouldn't be hear now.

 

So as someone who lives with depression, you have a duty to others to save them. I understand you'll feel too shite to worry about yourself but others matter.

 

And it's your duty to keep them alive.

 

Talk.

[Guest Numero Veinticinco]

I think at least part of the problem, especially for those of us who are either older or a little older, is our feeling that we should just 'man up'. There's a 'fucked if I'm going to talk about it. I'm a man. I'll let it break me before I talk' vibe about it. We don't want to appear to be weak, either to ourselves or others. It has nothing to do with strength, or intelligence (at least negatively), or any of that shit. It's chemistry, and it hurts. It's just as real as having many other ailments. It's nothing to be ashamed about. There are a lot of us who have gone through or are still going through it. Some won't ever get rid of it. It's horrible. 

 

However, it does have its ups and downs. Some times are easier - much easier - than others. Talking to people actually does help, with the depression and with your ability to see yourself as somebody who needn't be ashamed about it. Having a chat with people often makes you realise why you feel the way you feel. It can connect the dots in your mind and help you cope. 

[lifetime fan]

I think at least part of the problem, especially for those of us who are either older or a little older, is our feeling that we should just 'man up'. There's a 'fucked if I'm going to talk about it. I'm a man. I'll let it break me before I talk' vibe about it. We don't want to appear to be weak, either to ourselves or others. It has nothing to do with strength, or intelligence (at least negatively), or any of that shit. It's chemistry, and it hurts. It's just as real as having many other ailments. It's nothing to be ashamed about. There are a lot of us who have gone through or are still going through it. Some won't ever get rid of it. It's horrible.

 

However, it does have its ups and downs. Some times are easier - much easier - than others. Talking to people actually does help, with the depression and with your ability to see yourself as somebody who needn't be ashamed about it. Having a chat with people often makes you realise why you feel the way you feel. It can connect the dots in your mind and help you cope.

That's what I wanted to say.

[easytoslip]

I agree with both those posts , but can you imagine how difficult it could be to explain to s complete strange, even if the person is a professional ,of what might be the cause never mind group therapy , it must be very hard. Yes to the man up stuff as we do tend to sweep things under the carpet and also it's good to talk , some may be lucky enough to have family and friends for support but others have nobody unfortunately and that must be a dreadful predicament.

[Total Longo]

Has anyone heard anything from CS?

[Section_31]

I actually don't think it's a man thing, I think it's a modern society thing, I reckon women don't talk about it as much either, at least not career women. 

 

The reason we don't discuss this as a society IMO is that the people at the top know a good deal of mental illness is caused by the way we live our lives, the 'me me me I want I need, I'm shit if I don't have X Y and Z' way of life that fuels our economy.

 

We're the most isolated and probably hopeless generation who's probably ever lived. Human beings weren't meant to live like this. Shoveling their kids into a nursery, going to work for sixty hours and STILL not being able to afford a standard of living guaranteed to keep the wolf from the door. No support from friends, neighbours and family because we're probably not in touch with them any more. Getting home, being tired, making some tea, going to bed - shopping crammed into a few hours on a Saturday, on it goes again on Monday.

 

A big part of recovering from depression and anxiety is cutting out what you don't want or need, whether that's making moves to get into a job that's not as demanding, stressful or soul destroying, doing something you love in your spare time, seeing friends and family no matter how busy you are - and generally putting yourself first, at least for a while. 

[Red Phoenix]

This has sent my anxiety levels through the roof, my meds aren't effective anymore, I'm not eating properly, and I can only see one way out of this mess.

 

Creator, you should have no shame at all in finding someone to speak with if that's what's wrong. I've still not done this after several recommendations by various doctors, partly because I'm stubborn, but also because I'm trying several other things that I already talked about earlier so won't ramble on again (better diet more often, meditation, cutting out alcohol as much as possible, etc. It just has to be regular or else, like I've experienced, I often end up back at the start.)

 

But at the same time, if things get so bad I'd really like to think that I could at least try what's been recommended, because it's just so simple to do. All I have to do is go here and I can arrange to speak with a professional at a time of my own choosing, and online : http://uk.iesohealth.com/accessing-ieso/patients/east-riding-of-yorkshire/

 

I'm linking so you can see how easy it can actually be. There should be something that you can find a way of getting access to if you want to try the same. Asking a doctor if you can might get this sorted for you instantly as well.

 

The meds though, no matter which ones you get, as several doctors again have told me, might not tackle the underlying problems. To do that you might have to speak with someone (like I still might have to as well), and there's probably all types of help that these people can give if you choose to try that. I really hope you can do the same asap if you're still in such a bad place anyway, or find someone else who you can speak with, then start getting better.

[Section_31]

Seeing the doctor tonight about coming off meds I've been on for nearly two years. I'm eager to do it but worried about it all the same. Still get the odd physical symptom. Never want to go back to the place I was in.

[Ezekiel 25:17]

The worst part about severe depression and anxiety is it's absolutely impossible to realise how much it's affecting you, untill you're some way through it, or found a way to manage it, it's very difficult to believe you'll ever be released from the internal prison you're in, that's how it always felt. It was the simplest thing for me, I walked down a road one day, the same road I'd walked down a year previous when I was suffering heavily with anxiety. The 2nd time I walked down it I noticed a new garage had opened, I wondered why my mate hadn't checked his phone and I appreciated the warm day. The first time I walked down it I spent the walk counting my breathing, rolling my neck, and praying I didn't bump into anyone I knew, because most liekly I wouldn't remember there name, or be able to hold any kind of conversation.

 

I can't even put into words how much I appreciate living without anxiety and depression, but anybody can come through it, if they get the help that is there, no matter how bleak it may be, if you're reading this CS, you deserve the help, and you're loved ones will be absolutely despereate to give you it, if you let them, please do.

[lifetime fan]

I agree with both those posts , but can you imagine how difficult it could be to explain to s complete strange, even if the person is a professional ,of what might be the cause never mind group therapy , it must be very hard. Yes to the man up stuff as we do tend to sweep things under the carpet and also it's good to talk , some may be lucky enough to have family and friends for support but others have nobody unfortunately and that must be a dreadful predicament.

Of course I do, been there, done that.

[easytoslip]

Of course I do, been there, done that.

Never meant it as a direct answer to you but in general , fair play to you and I certainly know what it's like.

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

In fairness, everyone is different and it can be hard to override that voice telling you it's your problem, to deal with it yourself, that taking about it won't change how you feel etc. It's not as easy to just 'talk to someone' when you're depressed or anxious as it appears from the outside.

[lifetime fan]

In fairness, everyone is different and it can be hard to override that voice telling you it's your problem, to deal with it yourself, that taking about it won't change how you feel etc. It's not as easy to just 'talk to someone' when you're depressed or anxious as it appears from the outside.

I'm pretty sure we all know that.

 

We also know that only by talking you can stop that never ending depressive downward spiral.

 

It's not a 'pull yourself together and sort yourself out' post.

 

It's an nderssanding how fucking dark a place it is and the way out is talking.

[Section_31]

I think the whole 'talking about it' aspect is important in the sense that you realise other people have been through it. The biggest fear for me when I was bad was that I was going to stay  that way, when someone tells you 'it gets better' it makes you feel a whole lot better. 

 

That's what I can say to people. I had no history of depression or anxiety but just collapsed acutely. Couldn't leave the house without my throat and face contorting, felt like someone was physically dragging me back inside. Felt claustraphobic and agrophobic, thouht I was going to piss myself all the time, couldn't breath properly for three months - felt like I had a ball in my chest - the slightest thing, like a text message, would startle me, couldn't sleep properly, couldn't even watch telly for weeks. Went to bed once and could barely breathe because my throat muscles were so contorted. When tested I was off the scale for anxiety but only minor for depression.

 

People told me I'd get better, but I'd have topped myself rather than live like that - no question. But I'm 90% better now. I think the fear of going back to that place will always be with me, but I've changed things in my life to help make sure it won't happen, cut horrible people out, try and relax more etc. 

 

I've been to hell and back with this shit and you'll come out of it, all of you, I promise. 

[Hades]

I actually don't think it's a man thing, I think it's a modern society thing, I reckon women don't talk about it as much either, at least not career women. 

 

The reason we don't discuss this as a society IMO is that the people at the top know a good deal of mental illness is caused by the way we live our lives, the 'me me me I want I need, I'm shit if I don't have X Y and Z' way of life that fuels our economy.

 

We're the most isolated and probably hopeless generation who's probably ever lived. Human beings weren't meant to live like this. Shoveling their kids into a nursery, going to work for sixty hours and STILL not being able to afford a standard of living guaranteed to keep the wolf from the door. No support from friends, neighbours and family because we're probably not in touch with them any more. Getting home, being tired, making some tea, going to bed - shopping crammed into a few hours on a Saturday, on it goes again on Monday.

 

A big part of recovering from depression and anxiety is cutting out what you don't want or need, whether that's making moves to get into a job that's not as demanding, stressful or soul destroying, doing something you love in your spare time, seeing friends and family no matter how busy you are - and generally putting yourself first, at least for a while. 

 

Couldn't agree more with this. My depression became magnitudes better when I stopped working full time and started spending more time relaxing with family and pets. Being in small tight-knit community working together has a protective effect on a whole load of mental disorders.

 

By 2020 depression will be second only to heart disease as the leading cause of disability around the world. Even the rich aren't happy, why do we continue with this horrific, destructive, economic system? Money doesn't make you happy, people do. 

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

Couldn't agree more with this. My depression became magnitudes better when I stopped working full time and started spending more time relaxing with family and pets. Being in small tight-knit community working together has a protective effect on a whole load of mental disorders.

 

By 2020 depression will be second only to heart disease as the leading cause of disability around the world. Even the rich aren't happy, why do we continue with this horrific, destructive, economic system? Money doesn't make you happy, people do.

We're brainwashed to chase this bullshit lifestyle. I'm slowly pulling away from it and focusing on happiness. I used to freak out and feel shit for days if I didn't manage to get here there and everywhere with my daughter. Now I'm infinitely happy if we end up lying on the sofa laughing. Happiness counts. The modern world will have you believe you need to go on Disneyland twice a week to attain that happiness.

[Section_31]

We're brainwashed to chase this bullshit lifestyle. I'm slowly pulling away from it and focusing on happiness. I used to freak out and feel shit for days if I didn't manage to get here there and everywhere with my daughter. Now I'm infinitely happy if we end up lying on the sofa laughing. Happiness counts. The modern world will have you believe you need to go on Disneyland twice a week to attain that happiness.

 

Amen. 

 

The greatest epiphany you can have is all this shit we're chasing is worthless. You could be the world's best looking bloke with the best clothes and phone and driving a boss car and nobody would give a fuck, in fact they'd probably scratch it. The modern life they want us chasing is nothing more than masturbation.