Depression

[Section_31]

51 minutes ago, littletedwest said:

Ha mate I can't even build lego.

 

To be honest I think a lot of my issues come from growing up. Was uncoordinated so shit at sport and not best looking so rejected by girls. That feeds into low self esteem.

 

This is basically me too, I was never good at being a 'lad'. 

[littletedwest]

3 hours ago, Bjornebye said:

It's perked me up just thinking about it.... 

 

 

 

If your missus is that much of a drag mate (and forgive me if I'm speaking out of turn here) have you not considered maybe moving on? Be single for a while, maybe meet someone who appreciates you for who you are? I've been with a couple of right nobheads in the past who were amazing to look at but drained my soul (and wallet) and eventually left me miserable as fuck. If I could go back I'd have just finished it after I'd got my leg over. 

 

To be honest I have mate, but after 18 years together ( we ain't married) it'd be hard to walk away. Plus her grandkids are my grandkids. And financially moving into a some shitty bedsit and being alone isn't appealing 

[Bjornebye]

1 minute ago, littletedwest said:

To be honest I have mate, but after 18 years together ( we ain't married) it'd be hard to walk away. Plus her grandkids are my grandkids. And financially moving into a some shitty bedsit and being alone isn't appealing 

I know it would be terribly difficult mate. Somethings got to give though, you can't spend your time at home in misery. You just need to think of yourself for a bit. 

[elvis]

4 hours ago, Section_31 said:

John Matrix over here. 

I have no idea what you mean by this , but I know when I Google it , it'll make me smile!

[redinblack]

Im sat up as my occasional battles with the Black Dog have ruined my night but I just read this;

 

Burnley's Pastor Mick: ‘If I lock this door, he dies’ - BBC News

 

This man is an absolute Giant in a world of poison dwarves. 

[VERBAL DIARRHEA]

Put this on here. Does anyone know any recommended Councillors for Relationship and Abandonment Issuesin Liverpool or by phone?

[VERBAL DIARRHEA]

DM if anyone can help please.

[Bjornebye]

44 minutes ago, VERBAL DIARRHEA said:

Put this on here. Does anyone know any recommended Councillors for Relationship and Abandonment Issuesin Liverpool or by phone?

Maybe try these?

 

https://www.relate.org.uk/find-my-nearest-relate/outpost/liverpool-relate

 

 

 

Hope you're ok mate 

[VERBAL DIARRHEA]

1 minute ago, Bjornebye said:

Maybe try these?

 

https://www.relate.org.uk/find-my-nearest-relate/outpost/liverpool-relate

 

 

 

Hope you're ok mate 

I’m ok mate genuinely for a family member, just trying to help.

[Creator Supreme]

Had a meltdown tonight, completely lost the plot, ended up screaming at the wife, having a slanging match with the lad, and ended up walking out with no phone, no money, no cards or nothing, not even a coat on!

 

Walked round for about half an hour, then went home freezing. Nobody's talking to me, not even the dog can be arsed with me.

 

Wish I was fucking dead, I hate this time of year!

[YorkshireRed]

11 minutes ago, Creator Supreme said:

Had a meltdown tonight, completely lost the plot, ended up screaming at the wife, having a slanging match with the lad, and ended up walking out with no phone, no money, no cards or nothing, not even a coat on!

 

Walked round for about half an hour, then went home freezing. Nobody's talking to me, not even the dog can be arsed with me.

 

Wish I was fucking dead, I hate this time of year!

Don’t be too hard on yourself mate. It happens, this time of year can be very difficult. 
 

It’s a symptom of your depression, not who you are at your core. Your family (and dog) might be upset in the moment but they love you, I’m sure of that.

 

p.s. They certainly don’t wish you were dead. I hope you know that your thoughts in that area can and will pass.

[Creator Supreme]

9 minutes ago, YorkshireRed said:

Don’t be too hard on yourself mate. It happens, this time of year can be very difficult. 
 

It’s a symptom of your depression, not who you are at your core. Your family (and dog) might be upset in the moment but they love you, I’m sure of that.

 

p.s. They certainly don’t wish you were dead. I hope you know that your thoughts in that area can and will pass.

Thanks mate. I was walking and I just wanted it to end. The M57 isn't far and I was sorely fucking tempted to just walk on to it!

 

I'm fucking annoyed with myself for shitting out to be honest!

[YorkshireRed]

It’s a funny old game isn’t it. I’ve had issues for as long as I can remember. There’s been things I’ve done to try and numb the pain, the things I’ve done have been part of what keeps the pain alive. Sometimes I’d like to be pain free but the idea of that fills me with fear. 
 

Nothing is real. At least I don’t think it is, I don’t know what real is. 
 

There’s no particular crisis just now. I’m pretty much ok. I just don’t like anything, enjoy anything, look forward to anything, feel like I deserve anything and have any energy to fix anything. 
 

I loath myself, truly loath every single fibre of my soul. I think I get off on it, which is loathsome. 

[Section_31]

11 minutes ago, Creator Supreme said:

Thanks mate. I was walking and I just wanted it to end. The M57 isn't far and I was sorely fucking tempted to just walk on to it!

 

I'm fucking annoyed with myself for shitting out to be honest!

Mate sorry to hear this but just remember that these feelings are temporary, but it sounds like you need some urgent help. I'd really urge you to contact your GP first thing, or if you can't wait, Aintree hospital have an in house psychologist at A&E. Please take care of yourself, things will improve and the world will not be a better place without you.

[YorkshireRed]

10 minutes ago, Creator Supreme said:

Thanks mate. I was walking and I just wanted it to end. The M57 isn't far and I was sorely fucking tempted to just walk on to it!

 

I'm fucking annoyed with myself for shitting out to be honest!

Fuck the M57. It’s not a road worthy of you. 

[littletedwest]

30 minutes ago, Creator Supreme said:

Had a meltdown tonight, completely lost the plot, ended up screaming at the wife, having a slanging match with the lad, and ended up walking out with no phone, no money, no cards or nothing, not even a coat on!

 

Walked round for about half an hour, then went home freezing. Nobody's talking to me, not even the dog can be arsed with me.

 

Wish I was fucking dead, I hate this time of year!

Its hard I know when your heads that way mate but your Mrs and your lad ( and many more) would be devastated if anything happened to you. 

And your unbridled optimism would be missed on the ff

[Captain Willard]

53 minutes ago, YorkshireRed said:

It’s a funny old game isn’t it. I’ve had issues for as long as I can remember. There’s been things I’ve done to try and numb the pain, the things I’ve done have been part of what keeps the pain alive. Sometimes I’d like to be pain free but the idea of that fills me with fear. 
 

Nothing is real. At least I don’t think it is, I don’t know what real is. 
 

There’s no particular crisis just now. I’m pretty much ok. I just don’t like anything, enjoy anything, look forward to anything, feel like I deserve anything and have any energy to fix anything. 
 

I loath myself, truly loath every single fibre of my soul. I think I get off on it, which is loathsome. 

Hang on in there. I’m sure you are loved by those around you. Things will get better.  I vaguely like you even though you can’t spell loathe. 

[Creator Supreme]

7 hours ago, YorkshireRed said:

It’s a funny old game isn’t it. I’ve had issues for as long as I can remember. There’s been things I’ve done to try and numb the pain, the things I’ve done have been part of what keeps the pain alive. Sometimes I’d like to be pain free but the idea of that fills me with fear. 
 

Nothing is real. At least I don’t think it is, I don’t know what real is. 
 

There’s no particular crisis just now. I’m pretty much ok. I just don’t like anything, enjoy anything, look forward to anything, feel like I deserve anything and have any energy to fix anything. 
 

I loath myself, truly loath every single fibre of my soul. I think I get off on it, which is loathsome. 

And yet you still tried to help me! You're very harsh on yourself mate. You're like most people on here, thoroughly bloody decent!

 

Thanks again for trying to help, it's really appreciated!

[Creator Supreme]

7 hours ago, Section_31 said:

Mate sorry to hear this but just remember that these feelings are temporary, but it sounds like you need some urgent help. I'd really urge you to contact your GP first thing, or if you can't wait, Aintree hospital have an in house psychologist at A&E. Please take care of yourself, things will improve and the world will not be a better place without you.

 

7 hours ago, littletedwest said:

Its hard I know when your heads that way mate but your Mrs and your lad ( and many more) would be devastated if anything happened to you. 

And your unbridled optimism would be missed on the ff

Thanks lads.

[the chimp]

They're right buddy. I was watching an interview with an English sniper and he fucking despised himself. Everyone else saw him for the great fella he was but that insidious voice in his head simply wouldn't let him take it in or see what others did when they looked at him. I know that it's you, yourself who has to learn to love and appreciate yourself and that all the kind words here aren't really taken in because the inner voice tells you you're not worthy of praise or affection, or love or respect. As Section says, it goes away, it honestly does. You won't see that now, but please just keep on keeping on. Check your PMs also please, buddy.

[Creator Supreme]

5 minutes ago, the chimp said:

They're right buddy. I was watching an interview with an English sniper and he fucking despised himself. Everyone else saw him for the great fella he was but that insidious voice in his head simply wouldn't let him take it in or see what others did when they looked at him. I know that it's you, yourself who has to learn to love and appreciate yourself and that all the kind words here aren't really taken in because the inner voice tells you you're not worthy of praise or affection, or love or respect. As Section says, it goes away, it honestly does. You won't see that now, but please just keep on keeping on. Check your PMs also please, buddy.

Thanks bud, PM replied to.

[Gnasher]

John Grace is a great writer, apologies if not if not quite in the right thread but the link is there and thus is such a good article,

 

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/dec/27/i-was-a-heroin-addict-and-had-given-up-on-myself-then-suddenly-briefly-i-felt-a-desire-to-live

 

[Ezekiel 25:17]

The most poisonous trait of all is believing you have to love yourself before anyone else can love you, you don't. The amount of times I hear this 'how do you expect people to love you if you don't love yourself ' bollocks. Because people are caring,  empathetic, understanding , and their feelings about you have absolutely no connection to the way you feel about yourself.

[Gnasher]

John Grace is a great writer, apologies if not if not quite in the right thread but the link is there and thus is such a good article,

 

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/dec/27/i-was-a-heroin-addict-and-had-given-up-on-myself-then-suddenly-briefly-i-felt-a-desire-to-live

 

[the chimp]

19 minutes ago, Ezekiel 25:17 said:

The most poisonous trait of all is believing you have to love yourself before anyone else can love you, you don't. The amount of times I hear this 'how do you expect people to love you if you don't love yourself ' bollocks. Because people are caring,  empathetic, understanding , and their feelings about you have absolutely no connection to the way you feel about yourself.

Spot on that. The people around 'you' see you for who you are - irrespective of how you see yourself. Indeed, it's them who love you the most. With depression, you just don't see yourself as being worthy of that love. When you do get there, and realise, "actually, I'm a decent person", their reaction is "yeah, we've been telling you that for years."