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10 minutes ago, Harry's Lad said:

He had been diagnosed with Parkinson's disease which caused him to become severely depressed. It was only after his death that it was discovered by autopsy that he had Lewy Body disease which caused effects like Parkinsons as well as a type of dementia according to a quick check online.

 

I read somewhere that he was manic depressive as well, which seems to be a trait a few comic geniuses share and he was an absolute comic genius.

 

 

 

 

 

https://www.good.is/slideshows/robin-we-miss-you

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1 hour ago, Section_31 said:

I always thought Williams killed himself because he had some kind of early onset dementia?

I thought that too mate. 

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I remember Robin Williams being pretty much the only celebrity Dennis Pennis trolled who’s instinctive reaction was to just join in taking the piss out of himself, while loads of them spat the dummy/blanked him/became precious. Didn’t take himself seriously at all, despite what must have been decades of stardom and mixing with famous actors etc. Always seemed like a cracking fella.

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5 hours ago, Bjornebye said:

Fighting something again at the minute. It's almost a year since my mum passed away and I saw her widowed husband for their anniversary on Saturday (They got married a couple of weeks before she died) and although it was a bittersweet day the most part was positive, laughing at photographs from the day and stuff. I've not been letting myself think about it but this week I've just found myself staring into space, completely unaware of anything going on around me. Luckily I'm working from home still and can snap out of it quickly but I'm not looking forward to these next few weeks at all.

 

I start a new job on the 1st September, a much better one than I've been doing better money etc so I should be excited but I can't kick this shite feeling at all. 40 is rapidly approaching (I'm 37) and all I can think is I've wasted my 30's, achieved nothing of substance and set myself back a few years. Just keep wondering should I be living back in Liverpool (I've got an ace missus, she's great I love her to bits), am I missing out on a better life elsewhere? Everything is just a daily mundane grind. I'm sure 18 months of lockdown has contributed but I just feel fucking worthless at the minute. Not after any sympathy, I just needed to get it down in words somewhere as I don't want to worry her as it might just pass and just be a symptom of it being a year since. 

 

 

Stay strong mate. You’ll find the answers to your questions about n your own time. 
 

And it’s always good to let it out. Talk to your missus about it all. 

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On 18/07/2021 at 13:34, YorkshireRed said:

My dad was a GP. You are one hundred percent correct about this. Yes, they are well paid and have more holiday than most but all the ones I knew when I was growing up, more than earned it. The more they give a shit, the harder it is. 
 

Imagine working seriously long hours, often having to deal with ‘difficult, demanding, people’ then being pestered in the pub, restaurant, supermarket, street even by people who expect on the spot consultations. My dad would never say no either, he was too soft. Fucked him up though. 
 

We’d even have people phoning the house 24/7 to speak to him direct, instead of making an appointment at the surgery. Again my dad was too soft to make his home number ex directory. My mum was tougher than him though, so dealt with that mostly. If he answered the phone, it wasn’t uncommon for him to spend twenty minutes on a call with a cheeky fucker, sometimes even going out to visit them. 
 

He was far from perfect, flawed in many ways, but he was a good doctor and basically a good man. His life ended at seventy one, in part due to acknowledged mistakes made by stressed, overworked, burned out NHS employees. 
 

Just some good for thought. Of course you should be assertive (not aggressive) and sometimes you do have to ask, but remember, most of them are genuinely trying their best in challenging circumstances. 
 

Don’t be too critical until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes. 

 

Screenshot_20210811-201707_Chrome.jpg

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Just now, YorkshireRed said:

Noted that you said you’d just come off antidepressants on another thread. That can be very difficult for some. Hope you’re doing ok. 

Cheers mate.

 

The withdrawals are no joke.

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1 minute ago, Section_31 said:

How come you're off them mate? Was it your idea of the quack's?

They've stopped working as I've been on them for years. It was Mirtazipine I was on. I'm gonna speak to the doctor tomorrow and ask for something else as I definitely need something to level me out.

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5 minutes ago, Elite said:

They've stopped working as I've been on them for years. It was Mirtazipine I was on. I'm gonna speak to the doctor tomorrow and ask for something else as I definitely need something to level me out.

Deffo mate, follow that up if you can, they should really be weening you off slower then seeing if they can try you on something else. They will sort it I'm sure mate. 

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6 minutes ago, Babb'sBurstNad said:

Fingers crossed the doctor has something to help.

 

Sertraline was the one that finally clicked for me.

 

 

Yeah I'm thinking of trying that as I've never had it. I've been on citalopram and Venlafaxine in the past. Just the delayed ejaculation puts me off but that subsided after a few weeks on the all the other meds I've tried. Mirtazipine has no sexual side effects, that's why I took it. Wonderful for sleep as well.

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6 minutes ago, Section_31 said:

Deffo mate, follow that up if you can, they should really be weening you off slower then seeing if they can try you on something else. They will sort it I'm sure mate. 

Thanks pal. I'm sure once I get on another I'll be fine. I've accepted the fact I'll always need to be in something as it's just the way I'm wired. Without meds I make absolute mountains out of molehills constantly and my thought patterns are very obsessive over pointless shit.

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Just now, Elite said:

Thanks pal. I'm sure once I get on another I'll be fine. I've accepted the fact I'll always need to be in something as it's just the way I'm wired. Without meds I make absolute mountains out of molehills constantly and my thought patterns are very obsessive over pointless shit.

I feel that brother. 

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5 minutes ago, Elite said:

Yeah I'm thinking of trying that as I've never had it. I've been on citalopram and Venlafaxine in the past. Just the delayed ejaculation puts me off but that subsided after a few weeks on the all the other meds I've tried. Mirtazipine has no sexual side effects, that's why I took it. Wonderful for sleep as well.

It's worth a shot. Touch wood (no pun intended) I've not had any problems in that regard. Doctor seems happy enough to leave me on them long term too. I've always found the biggest issue with either starting a new medication or coming off one is you become hyper aware of your mental state, and that in itself can be a bit of a headfuck.

 

Hope it all goes well for you mate.

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55 minutes ago, Elite said:

They've stopped working as I've been on them for years. It was Mirtazipine I was on. I'm gonna speak to the doctor tomorrow and ask for something else as I definitely need something to level me out.


I can hook you up with a fella overseas that sells the good stuff. 

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As it’s National Suicide Prevention day today, just using that as a prompt to air some things which have been on my mind a lot lately. Apologies for the long post, I rarely frequent this thread for a number of reasons, so this is a bit of a Hindenturd covering all of it on one go. Had plenty of my own dark times over the years, lived with fluctuating bouts of depression and had recurring mental health challenges my whole life, including several periods where I was in an impossibly deep black hole for a year or even more, before I eventually realised and was able to gradually work on coming back out of it. 2019 was the last time I was really in the thick of that, but the first time fully contemplating not being here anymore of my own volition. I’ve since taken the opportunity to open up more and talk to people, both professionally and otherwise, about how things are and have been. That’s helped immeasurably, along with several other factors making life significantly easier in general. 
 

As many have, I’ve lost a number of friends to suicide, and it’s beyond words.  A good college mate when we were 17. A lad who was more of an acquaintance, but had stayed at mine with his wife and partied with us a few times. In particularly traumatic and tragic circumstances a long-standing family friend who, as well as my brother and I, gave a eulogy at my Dad’s funeral and for whom I then repaid the tribute at his. And a really dear friend, 5 years ago already, who had done so very much for me and who the loss of and the circumstances surrounding that remain painful. His death was the final straw in me deciding to try to get qualified to work in counselling/therapy as a profession and to start taking up voluntary roles supporting people going through a hard time. Started training with The Samaritans recently and already seeing the great work they do giving people the chance to be heard and to say what’s sometimes bottled up deep within them, without an outlet or a listening ear, is inspiring.
 

I often think how at odds all that is with me sometimes contributing to daft, spiteful online spats and arguments. I apologise for my part in those. Many of us do that on here without giving it enough thought, but despite our various differences, I know plenty chronically battle with their mental health and/or face major challenges in life which trigger such issues. I also know everyone ultimately wishes each other all the best and wants each other to be well, whatever gets said in anger. I sometimes wonder if the direction of travel is that spending too long arguing/getting irritated by stuff you read online can be detrimental to your mental health, if experiencing mental health problems make us more likely to seek such online information and interaction, or a bit of both. Maybe it’s neither, and the prevalence is just the same as it is among the general population, whether they’re regularly using the Internet like this or not. Who knows. Either way, I just wanted to wish everyone who’s struggling all the best, and to say keep on keeping on, because now and then life shows you new light when it seemed things would always remain in darkness. 
 

Talking to people can truly help in getting your thoughts - which we should always take with a huge pinch of salt anyway, as they’re not the facts we often treat them as - out of your head, so you can order and make better sense of them. Keeping hold of the ones which are useful and dispensing with the ones which aren’t serving you well. 


I saw this for the first time a few weeks ago, and for many of the reasons above and simply because it landed square on any humanity I have, it really affected me. Found it very powerful. The humility and gentle bravery of this fella, and his evident desire to pay forward his own positive outcome even though it was tangibly difficult for him to speak about, says more about this subject than one of my Paul Tomkins-esque diatribes ever would. What a fucking marvellous person. 
 


There’s a slightly more life-affirming overall second video with where he’s at now in the link below, which bookends the first one quite nicely. 
 

https://shiningalightonsuicide.org.uk/story/darran/

 

Obviously there is no one size fits all, no identical circumstances experienced and no path one person has taken which will work for everyone. We can’t know someone else’s experiences or difficulties precisely, even if we’ve lived through similar, because we’re all so different in how we respond and where our various thresholds are set. But if anyone is really struggling and needs someone to sit with them and hear them out, to talk through difficult feelings and situations being faced, though asking for it often feels very hard, it can be a great thing to do. Be it via organisations like The Samaritans, be it on the open forum, a PM to another poster (I’m always happy to listen and give my number to someone who needs a chat, I’m sure plenty of others are too) or with people who, if you’re really fucking strange, you know in the real world, away from all your Internet friends. It might just be the best thing you ever do, because please trust me, even if you’re in the headspace where you think people or life are better off without you, they’re really not.
 

The one thing I thought at each of the funerals of my mates who took their own life, was ‘if only they could have seen this today’; how much they meant to everyone there and how much people loved and wanted them around. I wondered if that might just have given them pause and the thought that was even a possibility was absolutely brutal. 
 

Don’t really know how to end that far too long stream-of-consciousness other than to say nice one if it didn’t bore you to tears well before the end, and be well you cunts, best wishes to all.

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6 minutes ago, Justice Negs said:

As it’s National Suicide Prevention day today, just using that as a prompt to air some things which have been on my mind a lot lately. Apologies for the long post, I rarely frequent this thread for a number of reasons, so this is a bit of a Hindenturd covering all of it on one go. Had plenty of my own dark times over the years, lived with fluctuating bouts of depression and had recurring mental health challenges my whole life, including several periods where I was in an impossibly deep black hole for a year or even more, before I eventually realised and was able to gradually work on coming back out of it. 2019 was the last time I was really in the thick of that, but the first time fully contemplating not being here anymore of my own volition. I’ve since taken the opportunity to open up more and talk to people, both professionally and otherwise, about how things are and have been. That’s helped immeasurably, along with several other factors making life significantly easier in general. 
 

As many have, I’ve lost a number of friends to suicide, and it’s beyond words.  A good college mate when we were 17. A lad who was more of an acquaintance, but had stayed at mine with his wife and partied with us a few times. In particularly traumatic and tragic circumstances a long-standing family friend who, as well as my brother and I, gave a eulogy at my Dad’s funeral and for whom I then repaid the tribute at his. And a really dear friend, 5 years ago already, who had done so very much for me and who the loss of and the circumstances surrounding that remain painful. His death was the final straw in me deciding to try to get qualified to work in counselling/therapy as a profession and to start taking up voluntary roles supporting people going through a hard time. Started training with The Samaritans recently and already seeing the great work they do giving people the chance to be heard and to say what’s sometimes bottled up deep within them, without an outlet or a listening ear, is inspiring.
 

I often think how at odds all that is with me sometimes contributing to daft, spiteful online spats and arguments. I apologise for my part in those. Many of us do that on here without giving it enough thought, but despite our various differences, I know plenty chronically battle with their mental health and/or face major challenges in life which trigger such issues. I also know everyone ultimately wishes each other all the best and wants each other to be well, whatever gets said in anger. I sometimes wonder if the direction of travel is that spending too long arguing/getting irritated by stuff you read online can be detrimental to your mental health, if experiencing mental health problems make us more likely to seek such online information and interaction, or a bit of both. Maybe it’s neither, and the prevalence is just the same as it is among the general population, whether they’re regularly using the Internet like this or not. Who knows. Either way, I just wanted to wish everyone who’s struggling all the best, and to say keep on keeping on, because now and then life shows you new light when it seemed things would always remain in darkness. 
 

Talking to people can truly help in getting your thoughts - which we should always take with a huge pinch of salt anyway, as they’re not the facts we often treat them as - out of your head, so you can order and make better sense of them. Keeping hold of the ones which are useful and accurate and dispensing with the ones which aren’t serving you well. 


I saw this for the first time a few weeks ago, and for many of the reasons above and simply because it landed square on any humanity I have, it really affected me. Found it very powerful. The humility and gentle bravery of this fella, and his evident desire to pay forward his own positive outcome even though it was tangibly difficult for him to speak about, says more about this subject than one of my Paul Tomkins-esque diatribes ever would. What a fucking marvellous person. 
 


There’s a slightly more life-affirming overall second video with where he’s at now in the link now, which bookends the first one quite nicely. 
 

https://shiningalightonsuicide.org.uk/story/darran/

 

Obviously there is no one size fits all, no identical circumstances experienced and no path one person has taken which will work for everyone. We can’t know someone else’s experiences or difficulties precisely, even if we’ve lived through similar, because we’re all so different in how we respond and where our various thresholds are set. But if anyone is really struggling and needs someone to sit with them and hear them out, to talk through difficult feelings and situations being faced, though asking for it often feels very hard, it can be a great thing to do. Be it via organisations like The Samaritans, be it on the open forum, a PM to another poster (I’m always happy to listen and give my number to someone who needs a chat, I’m sure plenty of others are too) or with people who, if you’re really fucking strange, you know in the real world, away from all your Internet friends. It might just be the best thing you ever do, because please trust me, even if you’re in the headspace where you think people or life are better off without you, they’re really not.
 

The one thing I thought at each of the funerals of my mates who took their own life, was ‘if only they could have seen this today’; how much they meant to everyone there and how much people loved and wanted them around. I wondered if that might just have given them pause and the thought that was even a possibility was absolutely brutal. 
 

Don’t really know how to end that far too long stream-of-consciousness other than to say nice one if it didn’t bore you to tears well before the end and be well you cunts, best wishes to all.

Thanks for sharing. I hope writing these words down helped you in some way, reading them definitely helped me.

 

How we bounce along on the surface isn’t how we always are underneath. You don’t need to apologise for that, we all project. The risk is, we project so much, nobody sees the truth. We then need to find a way to tell them and that is very difficult for many of us. 

 

This thread ensures none who use it are ever alone. Even when it feels like we are. 

 

I haven’t watched the videos yet but I will. 

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17 minutes ago, Justice Negs said:

As it’s National Suicide Prevention day today, just using that as a prompt to air some things which have been on my mind a lot lately. Apologies for the long post, I rarely frequent this thread for a number of reasons, so this is a bit of a Hindenturd covering all of it on one go. Had plenty of my own dark times over the years, lived with fluctuating bouts of depression and had recurring mental health challenges my whole life, including several periods where I was in an impossibly deep black hole for a year or even more, before I eventually realised and was able to gradually work on coming back out of it. 2019 was the last time I was really in the thick of that, but the first time fully contemplating not being here anymore of my own volition. I’ve since taken the opportunity to open up more and talk to people, both professionally and otherwise, about how things are and have been. That’s helped immeasurably, along with several other factors making life significantly easier in general. 
 

As many have, I’ve lost a number of friends to suicide, and it’s beyond words.  A good college mate when we were 17. A lad who was more of an acquaintance, but had stayed at mine with his wife and partied with us a few times. In particularly traumatic and tragic circumstances a long-standing family friend who, as well as my brother and I, gave a eulogy at my Dad’s funeral and for whom I then repaid the tribute at his. And a really dear friend, 5 years ago already, who had done so very much for me and who the loss of and the circumstances surrounding that remain painful. His death was the final straw in me deciding to try to get qualified to work in counselling/therapy as a profession and to start taking up voluntary roles supporting people going through a hard time. Started training with The Samaritans recently and already seeing the great work they do giving people the chance to be heard and to say what’s sometimes bottled up deep within them, without an outlet or a listening ear, is inspiring.
 

I often think how at odds all that is with me sometimes contributing to daft, spiteful online spats and arguments. I apologise for my part in those. Many of us do that on here without giving it enough thought, but despite our various differences, I know plenty chronically battle with their mental health and/or face major challenges in life which trigger such issues. I also know everyone ultimately wishes each other all the best and wants each other to be well, whatever gets said in anger. I sometimes wonder if the direction of travel is that spending too long arguing/getting irritated by stuff you read online can be detrimental to your mental health, if experiencing mental health problems make us more likely to seek such online information and interaction, or a bit of both. Maybe it’s neither, and the prevalence is just the same as it is among the general population, whether they’re regularly using the Internet like this or not. Who knows. Either way, I just wanted to wish everyone who’s struggling all the best, and to say keep on keeping on, because now and then life shows you new light when it seemed things would always remain in darkness. 
 

Talking to people can truly help in getting your thoughts - which we should always take with a huge pinch of salt anyway, as they’re not the facts we often treat them as - out of your head, so you can order and make better sense of them. Keeping hold of the ones which are useful and dispensing with the ones which aren’t serving you well. 


I saw this for the first time a few weeks ago, and for many of the reasons above and simply because it landed square on any humanity I have, it really affected me. Found it very powerful. The humility and gentle bravery of this fella, and his evident desire to pay forward his own positive outcome even though it was tangibly difficult for him to speak about, says more about this subject than one of my Paul Tomkins-esque diatribes ever would. What a fucking marvellous person. 
 


There’s a slightly more life-affirming overall second video with where he’s at now in the link below, which bookends the first one quite nicely. 
 

https://shiningalightonsuicide.org.uk/story/darran/

 

Obviously there is no one size fits all, no identical circumstances experienced and no path one person has taken which will work for everyone. We can’t know someone else’s experiences or difficulties precisely, even if we’ve lived through similar, because we’re all so different in how we respond and where our various thresholds are set. But if anyone is really struggling and needs someone to sit with them and hear them out, to talk through difficult feelings and situations being faced, though asking for it often feels very hard, it can be a great thing to do. Be it via organisations like The Samaritans, be it on the open forum, a PM to another poster (I’m always happy to listen and give my number to someone who needs a chat, I’m sure plenty of others are too) or with people who, if you’re really fucking strange, you know in the real world, away from all your Internet friends. It might just be the best thing you ever do, because please trust me, even if you’re in the headspace where you think people or life are better off without you, they’re really not.
 

The one thing I thought at each of the funerals of my mates who took their own life, was ‘if only they could have seen this today’; how much they meant to everyone there and how much people loved and wanted them around. I wondered if that might just have given them pause and the thought that was even a possibility was absolutely brutal. 
 

Don’t really know how to end that far too long stream-of-consciousness other than to say nice one if it didn’t bore you to tears well before the end, and be well you cunts, best wishes to all.

Great post mate. 

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On 12/08/2021 at 15:50, Harry's Lad said:

He had been diagnosed with Parkinson's disease which caused him to become severely depressed. It was only after his death that it was discovered by autopsy that he had Lewy Body disease which caused effects like Parkinsons as well as a type of dementia according to a quick check online.

 

I read somewhere that he was manic depressive as well, which seems to be a trait a few comic geniuses share and he was an absolute comic genius.

 

I wouldn't say I was manic but I know what you mean.

 

 

 

 

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