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One of the things which pisses me off about anxiety, is it's the anxiety symptoms that often causes me anxiety, which then causes anxiety symptoms. 

 

A counsellor I spoke to a while back said you just have to accept them, stop wondering/rationalising why they're happening and just register them, because in essence they're trying to get your attention as  they think they're doing you a favour, and the more you ignore, the louder they shout.

 

It's annoying though. To say the least. 

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1 minute ago, Section_31 said:

One of the things which pisses me off about anxiety, is it's the anxiety symptoms that often causes me anxiety, which then causes anxiety symptoms. 

 

A counsellor I spoke to a while back said you just have to accept them, stop wondering/rationalising why they're happening and just register them, because in essence they're trying to get your attention as  they think they're doing you a favour, and the more you ignore, the louder they shout.

 

It's annoying though. To say the least. 

Yeah it's like insomnia. I get anxious about insomnia causing insomnia 

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54 minutes ago, Justice Negs said:

As it’s National Suicide Prevention day today, just using that as a prompt to air some things which have been on my mind a lot lately. Apologies for the long post, I rarely frequent this thread for a number of reasons, so this is a bit of a Hindenturd covering all of it on one go. Had plenty of my own dark times over the years, lived with fluctuating bouts of depression and had recurring mental health challenges my whole life, including several periods where I was in an impossibly deep black hole for a year or even more, before I eventually realised and was able to gradually work on coming back out of it. 2019 was the last time I was really in the thick of that, but the first time fully contemplating not being here anymore of my own volition. I’ve since taken the opportunity to open up more and talk to people, both professionally and otherwise, about how things are and have been. That’s helped immeasurably, along with several other factors making life significantly easier in general. 
 

As many have, I’ve lost a number of friends to suicide, and it’s beyond words.  A good college mate when we were 17. A lad who was more of an acquaintance, but had stayed at mine with his wife and partied with us a few times. In particularly traumatic and tragic circumstances a long-standing family friend who, as well as my brother and I, gave a eulogy at my Dad’s funeral and for whom I then repaid the tribute at his. And a really dear friend, 5 years ago already, who had done so very much for me and who the loss of and the circumstances surrounding that remain painful. His death was the final straw in me deciding to try to get qualified to work in counselling/therapy as a profession and to start taking up voluntary roles supporting people going through a hard time. Started training with The Samaritans recently and already seeing the great work they do giving people the chance to be heard and to say what’s sometimes bottled up deep within them, without an outlet or a listening ear, is inspiring.
 

I often think how at odds all that is with me sometimes contributing to daft, spiteful online spats and arguments. I apologise for my part in those. Many of us do that on here without giving it enough thought, but despite our various differences, I know plenty chronically battle with their mental health and/or face major challenges in life which trigger such issues. I also know everyone ultimately wishes each other all the best and wants each other to be well, whatever gets said in anger. I sometimes wonder if the direction of travel is that spending too long arguing/getting irritated by stuff you read online can be detrimental to your mental health, if experiencing mental health problems make us more likely to seek such online information and interaction, or a bit of both. Maybe it’s neither, and the prevalence is just the same as it is among the general population, whether they’re regularly using the Internet like this or not. Who knows. Either way, I just wanted to wish everyone who’s struggling all the best, and to say keep on keeping on, because now and then life shows you new light when it seemed things would always remain in darkness. 
 

Talking to people can truly help in getting your thoughts - which we should always take with a huge pinch of salt anyway, as they’re not the facts we often treat them as - out of your head, so you can order and make better sense of them. Keeping hold of the ones which are useful and dispensing with the ones which aren’t serving you well. 


I saw this for the first time a few weeks ago, and for many of the reasons above and simply because it landed square on any humanity I have, it really affected me. Found it very powerful. The humility and gentle bravery of this fella, and his evident desire to pay forward his own positive outcome even though it was tangibly difficult for him to speak about, says more about this subject than one of my Paul Tomkins-esque diatribes ever would. What a fucking marvellous person. 
 


There’s a slightly more life-affirming overall second video with where he’s at now in the link below, which bookends the first one quite nicely. 
 

https://shiningalightonsuicide.org.uk/story/darran/

 

Obviously there is no one size fits all, no identical circumstances experienced and no path one person has taken which will work for everyone. We can’t know someone else’s experiences or difficulties precisely, even if we’ve lived through similar, because we’re all so different in how we respond and where our various thresholds are set. But if anyone is really struggling and needs someone to sit with them and hear them out, to talk through difficult feelings and situations being faced, though asking for it often feels very hard, it can be a great thing to do. Be it via organisations like The Samaritans, be it on the open forum, a PM to another poster (I’m always happy to listen and give my number to someone who needs a chat, I’m sure plenty of others are too) or with people who, if you’re really fucking strange, you know in the real world, away from all your Internet friends. It might just be the best thing you ever do, because please trust me, even if you’re in the headspace where you think people or life are better off without you, they’re really not.
 

The one thing I thought at each of the funerals of my mates who took their own life, was ‘if only they could have seen this today’; how much they meant to everyone there and how much people loved and wanted them around. I wondered if that might just have given them pause and the thought that was even a possibility was absolutely brutal. 
 

Don’t really know how to end that far too long stream-of-consciousness other than to say nice one if it didn’t bore you to tears well before the end, and be well you cunts, best wishes to all.

Fuck off you big Jessie!

 

 

But in all seriousness thanks for sharing, some proper cunts on here at times (and I'm in the top ten) but when you need it even they've got your back. Sorry for your losses mate, and I'm glad that you look to be doing well at the moment.

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38 minutes ago, littletedwest said:

Yeah it's like insomnia. I get anxious about insomnia causing insomnia 

I've switched off all electronic devices 30 minutes beforehand and don't use the phone in bed after lights out. Tends to help but I've also found a bedtime 10 minute meditation on an app called Balance. Have fallen asleep no problem each time I've used it. 

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25 minutes ago, skend04 said:

I've switched off all electronic devices 30 minutes beforehand and don't use the phone in bed after lights out. Tends to help but I've also found a bedtime 10 minute meditation on an app called Balance. Have fallen asleep no problem each time I've used it. 

I’ve downloaded, I’ll give it a go tonight. If nothing else, it’ll make a change from using the Brexit thread as a sleep aid. 

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1 hour ago, Section_31 said:

One of the things which pisses me off about anxiety, is it's the anxiety symptoms that often causes me anxiety, which then causes anxiety symptoms. 

 

A counsellor I spoke to a while back said you just have to accept them, stop wondering/rationalising why they're happening and just register them, because in essence they're trying to get your attention as  they think they're doing you a favour, and the more you ignore, the louder they shout.

 

It's annoying though. To say the least. 

Yep, it's a vicious cycle. One of the best bits of advice I had was to try to train yourself to think you're excited rather than anxious, as often the symptoms are similar - on tenterhooks, increased heart rate, butterflies etc. Doesn't work for a full blown panic attack obviously, but it helps to frame the early signs as something positive, particularly if you're doing something new that's stressing you out.

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2 minutes ago, Babb'sBurstNad said:

Yep, it's a vicious cycle. One of the best bits of advice I had was to try to train yourself to think you're excited rather than anxious, as often the symptoms are similar - on tenterhooks, increased heart rate, butterflies etc. Doesn't work for a full blown panic attack obviously, but it helps to frame the early signs as something positive, particularly if you're doing something new that's stressing you out.

 

Funnily enough I don't get those kinds of symptoms (normal symptoms, like sweating or feeling jittery before a big event, I can handle stuff that's usually quite stressful for other people. 

 

With me it'll be a case of, say, having a bad stomach for no reason, then wondering why I've had bad guts and attributing it to being in a specific place (a new job) or whatever, which makes me overthink it and wonder why.

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I've had an on/off struggle with depression since I was about 13. Honestly, the only thing that's worked for me when it comes to dealing with it is by lifting weights. It was a mate of mine at school who was sound enough to let me train using his home gym 4 times a week and taught me the fundamentals on how to do compound lifts and isolation work. That reason alone is why he's one of and still is one of the best friends I've ever had.

 

It's the reason I can take myself seriously. It's the reason why I believe I'm more capable than I give myself credit for and the only thing holding me back is a fear of failure. It's the reason I started taking more pride in my appearance. The list goes on... 

 

I'm also a diagnosed dispraxic and that's also been a struggle. There are so many professions I wish I could take up but know my condition would hold me back too much. 

 

Despite this, the other week I bought my first pair of boxing gloves and did my first two padwork sessions at 4 corners in Fazakerley. I obviously don't expect to be pro, not with my co-ordination and spacial awareness being the way it is. But I'm getting on with it anyway.  

 

Not sure how to end this post, but if any of you are struggling and you've not tried committing to an exercise programme of any kind, please do.

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I don't buy into a lot of supplements and nootropics but I've had to recently take NAC (N-acetyl cysteine) to improve my bloods after a few things came back out of range.

 

Noticed a very quick and noticable mood lift, calmness and increase in energy. In terms of the calmness it's almost like a switch has been flicked to stop those annoying, constant negative and irrational thoughts that seem impossible to shake. For a while I'd been waking and feeling absolutely drained regardless of how well rested I was, pretty much straight away I'm now waking up feel fresh and able to just get on with my plans for the day.

 

I did see a lot of positive anecdotal evidence online from people using this supplement but tend to ignore this kind of thing as some people may be biased etc but I can say I've noticed a very quick improvement. I still sometimes feel anxiety but the accompanying thoughts and general nonsense in my head has fucked right off. Another benefit is the reduction in brain fog, I usually take hours to get going and feel sluggish mentally even with a good nights sleep but I've been able to just crack on even after an awful nights sleep (bastard heat this week!).

 

It has been studied for a number of psychiatric conditions with positive results but the anecdotes online do back this up and I can say I've noticed a big improvement so far.

 

We'll see how this goes and I'll evaluate as time goes on but it's something worth looking into for sure. It's inexpensive, available off the shelf and is safe to use and as far as I'm aware there are no contraindications with meds you may be using.

 

Acetylcysteine - Wikipedia

 (1) NAC for Social Anxiety (Dosage) : Supplements (reddit.com)

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2 hours ago, Section_31 said:

 

Funnily enough I don't get those kinds of symptoms (normal symptoms, like sweating or feeling jittery before a big event, I can handle stuff that's usually quite stressful for other people. 

 

With me it'll be a case of, say, having a bad stomach for no reason, then wondering why I've had bad guts and attributing it to being in a specific place (a new job) or whatever, which makes me overthink it and wonder why.

Reminds me of an episode when I was at college. I'd convinced myself that my stomach was gurgling too loudly, and started to stress over it. I was a nervous wreck sitting in a silent exam hall. Yet, the death of a family member and various life dramas at the time washed over me like water off a duck's back. Funny the things that get to you.

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2 minutes ago, Babb'sBurstNad said:

Reminds me of an episode when I was at college. I'd convinced myself that my stomach was gurgling too loudly, and started to stress over it. I was a nervous wreck sitting in a silent exam hall. Yet, the death of a family member and various life dramas at the time washed over me like water off a duck's back. Funny the things that get to you.

A fucking men. This is me all over. 

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Can off my meds in April,and this last 2 week its proper hit me I just hate everyone Im not close to 

Landlord is taking the piss with my repairs.

Everything came to an head tonight.

Went to a quiz with my mum (who does so much for me I will never be able to repay). Proper "Lad" turned up fair enough I have no problem with that.

He then Google's all the answers and my mum tells him to stop which he doesn't.

So I stop playing the quiz cos it's fucking 5 pints who gives a fuck.

Now I'm the bad guy cos I'm being petulant.

Don't know why I'm posting this her just need an outlet...sorry!

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3 minutes ago, Colt Seavers said:

Can off my meds in April,and this last 2 week its proper hit me I just hate everyone Im not close to 

Landlord is taking the piss with my repairs.

Everything came to an head tonight.

Went to a quiz with my mum (who does so much for me I will never be able to repay). Proper "Lad" turned up fair enough I have no problem with that.

He then Google's all the answers and my mum tells him to stop which he doesn't.

So I stop playing the quiz cos it's fucking 5 pints who gives a fuck.

Now I'm the bad guy cos I'm being petulant.

Don't know why I'm posting this her just need an outlet...sorry!

 

This is basically me for the last three years. I mean this is exactly what I'm like.

 

 

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19 hours ago, skend04 said:

meditation on an app called Balance.

Had a go at this last night and then again this morning.
 

I had to put a note in my diary to remember to cancel before the free year is out, as it’s quite expensive, but I’ve got high hopes. If I stick at this, I think I’ll get some benefits.
 

Nothing is ever a magic pill (not even pills) for me but this, combined with medication, exercise, diet, talking and trying to refrain from short term ‘fixes’, gives me a chance. 
 

Thanks for recommending. 

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I've taken a Mirtazipine as I couldn't cope with the withdrawals. Absolute hell, no sleep for 4 days, vomitting constantly and the last few days I've been a complete wreck.

 

Probably the worst I've ever felt and that includes being in hospital with Pneumonia and blood clots.

 

Going to take the transition slower and speak to my go Monday again.

 

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21 hours ago, Section_31 said:

One of the things which pisses me off about anxiety, is it's the anxiety symptoms that often causes me anxiety, which then causes anxiety symptoms. 

 

A counsellor I spoke to a while back said you just have to accept them, stop wondering/rationalising why they're happening and just register them, because in essence they're trying to get your attention as  they think they're doing you a favour, and the more you ignore, the louder they shout.

 

It's annoying though. To say the least. 

Never suffered depression but I did suffer from anxiety quite badly in the 90s, luckily for me beta blockers killed it.

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11 minutes ago, Captain Howdy said:

Never suffered depression but I did suffer from anxiety quite badly in the 90s, luckily for me beta blockers killed it.

Yeah I was on them and citalopram, they worked a treat, I 'live with it' now with no meds and I'm never sure what the threshold should be for going back on them. I get by, but I'd be lying if I said it didn't impact me. 

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5 hours ago, Section_31 said:

Yeah I was on them and citalopram, they worked a treat, I 'live with it' now with no meds and I'm never sure what the threshold should be for going back on them. I get by, but I'd be lying if I said it didn't impact me. 

You have to weigh up how well you're functioning.

 

The option is always there for you. It's crazy how many people are on anti-depressants now and it's not always the people you think.

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