Depression

[Bjornebye]

Its good to see this thread hasn’t been active through all this. 
 

I’ve barely been drinking through this and the impact it’s had on me seems unreal. Once a week I’ve had a bevvy and the next day instead of wanting to get back in it I’ve just retired into a hungover shell on the couch. Been working our and eating lots of fruit and veg. Got some boss news yesterday as well. I’m determined to come out the other end of this in a better life shape than before. I feel bad saying that considering the shit people are going through but it was just a goal I set myself to stop me flying off the rails. 

[Pureblood]

1 hour ago, Section_31 said:

How's everyone's marbles holding up? 

 

I'm quite good at 'soldiering on' when things get tough but it usually hits me after its over, have noticed various bits of my body acting strange though as my anxiety tends to be physical (bad guts, psoriasis etc). 

I've been in social isolation for most of my adult life so things are pretty much the same.  Obviously that's an exaggeration, but not that far off the truth either.  I've never married or had kids so I'm used to being on my own.  I'm more worried about my friends and family, the ones with kids and families, or couples in relationships who probably don't want to really be with eachother. 

 

I know that I'll be fine mentally (don't laugh) as long as I don't get the Covid as I'm used to being on my own and as an introvert I like it that way.  But I worry about friends who are in difficult situations and worry about family/friends with comorbidities. 

[Tony Moanero]

29 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

Its good to see this thread hasn’t been active through all this. 
 

I’ve barely been drinking through this and the impact it’s had on me seems unreal. Once a week I’ve had a bevvy and the next day instead of wanting to get back in it I’ve just retired into a hungover shell on the couch. Been working out and eating lots of fruit and veg. Got some boss news yesterday as well. I’m determined to come out the other end of this in a better life shape than before. I feel bad saying that considering the shit people are going through but it was just a goal I set myself to stop me flying off the rails. 

 

[Special K]

Alcohol and anti-depressants are helping

[Chocoholic]

Why does it always have to be me who makes first contact? When there are people 'close to me' who know the necessity of maintaining contact, who know how important it is to keep in touch, even if the phone chat, or the Messenger, or any other medium is only talking bollocks, but it's still talking. 

 

When the only time they talk is when I initiate the contact, makes me feel like I'm not worth their time for them to pick up the phone randomly and call or text me. It makes me feel that their words "I'm here for you any time" has the subtext of 'but don't expect me to call you any time'

 

Honestly, there are more than just a couple of people I've lost contact with and can no longer consider to be friends after I tested to see how long it would take for them to call me. Not that I'm waiting any longer, but I saw them for what they were and are, selfish twats. I don't want to have people in my life who don't want to have me in theirs. Fuck them. 

[Bjornebye]

3 hours ago, Chocoholic said:

Why does it always have to be me who makes first contact? When there are people 'close to me' who know the necessity of maintaining contact, who know how important it is to keep in touch, even if the phone chat, or the Messenger, or any other medium is only talking bollocks, but it's still talking. 

 

When the only time they talk is when I initiate the contact, makes me feel like I'm not worth their time for them to pick up the phone randomly and call or text me. It makes me feel that their words "I'm here for you any time" has the subtext of 'but don't expect me to call you any time'

 

Honestly, there are more than just a couple of people I've lost contact with and can no longer consider to be friends after I tested to see how long it would take for them to call me. Not that I'm waiting any longer, but I saw them for what they were and are, selfish twats. I don't want to have people in my life who don't want to have me in theirs. Fuck them. 

For what it’s worth mate, we are all here for you x 

[Section_31]

12 hours ago, Chocoholic said:

Why does it always have to be me who makes first contact? When there are people 'close to me' who know the necessity of maintaining contact, who know how important it is to keep in touch, even if the phone chat, or the Messenger, or any other medium is only talking bollocks, but it's still talking. 

 

When the only time they talk is when I initiate the contact, makes me feel like I'm not worth their time for them to pick up the phone randomly and call or text me. It makes me feel that their words "I'm here for you any time" has the subtext of 'but don't expect me to call you any time'

 

Honestly, there are more than just a couple of people I've lost contact with and can no longer consider to be friends after I tested to see how long it would take for them to call me. Not that I'm waiting any longer, but I saw them for what they were and are, selfish twats. I don't want to have people in my life who don't want to have me in theirs. Fuck them. 

 

I think sometimes it's tough for people to find that balance between showing they care and not wanting to be seen as a pest, seems to be a British thing. I love my mates like brothers, although that group has been vastly whittled down over time, but if one is having a tough time I'll often say that I'm here if they need anything, I do genuinely mean it, I just don't want to be seen as a pain or someone that's mithering too much. 

 

It's a weird time at the moment too, I think everyone is feeling some degree of anxiety, some handling it better than others.

 

Don't forget when you're feeling down you will interpret the worst case scenario (people don't care about me) but I'm sure that's not true otherwise they wouldn't have been your friends all this time. It's just some people aren't great at keeping contact. 

 

 

[Sugar Ape]

Been feeling a bit more anxious than usual lately and yesterday afternoon started getting twinges in my chest, not really actual pain as such just a really uncomfortable like stabbing sensation in my heart area. Lasted all day right up until I fell asleep about 2am, took my blood pressure and heart rate multiple times and they were both absolutely fine and had no other symptoms of heart problems such as pain in my jaw and arm or dizziness etc... so pretty sure it’s anxiety related.

 

Woke up this morning and felt ok, went for a walk before and did about a mile feeling great then suddenly started feeling weird, not really sure how to explain it but felt like my blood was running cold and I was walking through water, like I needed a sugar boost or something. 
 

Got in and was ok for about an hour then the twinges in my chest started again. Had something similar about six years ago and ended up going to A&E in Aintree hospital and had a heart scan and they said everything was fine and put it down to anxiety/panic attacks but the more I get these twinges the more anxious I get and the longer it lasts. Obviously don’t want to go near a hospital at the minute so just going to keep an eye on things but it’s mad how much anxiety can affect you. 
 

Think I’m going to have to totally avoid the news and stuff for a day or two I think as I’m sure all the 24/7 saturation of Coronavirus coverage isn’t helping things. 

[Strontium]

I used to get the stabbing in my chest too. I was so worried I went to the doctor and she said it was probably anxiety. Since then I've barely experienced it. It's a vicious circle - you get anxious, which causes symptoms, which cause you even more anxiety, and so on. Sometimes you just need someone to tell you there's nothing to worry about. Quite difficult in these increasingly febrile times, when you're viewed as an aberration if you're not constantly anxious.

[Section_31]

Anxiety has tremendously powerful physical symptoms like that. I've had tight chests, breathing problems that lasted for months, muscles which tighten all over my face and throat seemingly at will, pins and needles in my face, hands and feet, stomach problems, feeling like I was going to piss myself, you name it. I've been getting a lot of minor infections lately too, which is also pretty standard.

 

When you're anxious your body pumps itself with cortisol and adrenaline so you can either fight or run away, but if you do neither it's got nowhere to go so just stays in your body and causes uncomfortable side effects.

 

The thing to remember is, no matter how bad the symptom, it's essentially mostly caused by a temporary infusion of chemicals and also your breathing being out of kilter. Those chest pains, feeling light headed etc could be because you're not breathing properly and don't realise it. It can make you feel like you're losing your marbles (I used to describe the feeling as though I'd just been in an explosion or a car crash).

 

There's some really good stuff online about how to regulate your breathing when you're feeling like that. If you're worried though I would get it checked out for peace of mind. Even if it is anxiety they may suggest some meds to get you throgh the initial period. The first period of anxiety is shock, and you can't really deal with it until that dies down because you can't relax, watch telly, read, even counselling is pointless while you're in that phase, in my experience. 

 

 

[Elite]

7 hours ago, Sugar Ape said:

Been feeling a bit more anxious than usual lately and yesterday afternoon started getting twinges in my chest, not really actual pain as such just a really uncomfortable like stabbing sensation in my heart area. Lasted all day right up until I fell asleep about 2am, took my blood pressure and heart rate multiple times and they were both absolutely fine and had no other symptoms of heart problems such as pain in my jaw and arm or dizziness etc... so pretty sure it’s anxiety related.

 

Woke up this morning and felt ok, went for a walk before and did about a mile feeling great then suddenly started feeling weird, not really sure how to explain it but felt like my blood was running cold and I was walking through water, like I needed a sugar boost or something. 
 

Got in and was ok for about an hour then the twinges in my chest started again. Had something similar about six years ago and ended up going to A&E in Aintree hospital and had a heart scan and they said everything was fine and put it down to anxiety/panic attacks but the more I get these twinges the more anxious I get and the longer it lasts. Obviously don’t want to go near a hospital at the minute so just going to keep an eye on things but it’s mad how much anxiety can affect you. 
 

Think I’m going to have to totally avoid the news and stuff for a day or two I think as I’m sure all the 24/7 saturation of Coronavirus coverage isn’t helping things. 

I'm not trying to worry you but I'd get checked out if it continues, it's most likely anxiety but don't take any chances if it continues.

[M_B]

On 08/05/2020 at 22:35, Chocoholic said:

Why does it always have to be me who makes first contact? When there are people 'close to me' who know the necessity of maintaining contact, who know how important it is to keep in touch, even if the phone chat, or the Messenger, or any other medium is only talking bollocks, but it's still talking. 

 

When the only time they talk is when I initiate the contact, makes me feel like I'm not worth their time for them to pick up the phone randomly and call or text me. It makes me feel that their words "I'm here for you any time" has the subtext of 'but don't expect me to call you any time'

 

Honestly, there are more than just a couple of people I've lost contact with and can no longer consider to be friends after I tested to see how long it would take for them to call me. Not that I'm waiting any longer, but I saw them for what they were and are, selfish twats. I don't want to have people in my life who don't want to have me in theirs. Fuck them. 

I really identify with that line of thinking. At one point I had a facebook cull and reduced my friends list from 100 odd people to just 14. It didn't help me though, because the resentment was inside my head, not theirs and the only person my anger was hurting was myself. Ultimately I'd end up drinking or looking at porn or finding some other way to medicate these kind of resentments.

 

Negative fantasy played a part too. In reality I had no idea why folks weren't communicating with me, but I created volumes of false narratives in my head that I started to believe.That really did me no good at all.

 

And of course it all fed into my fears which all sat on top of the biggest fear that everyone struggles with in life; fear of being alone.

 

It was only when I started working a 12 step programme that I could see the real problem was my way of thinking; my life was all about me, my fantasies, my resentments, my expectations, my demands. It was only when I started changing my way of thinking on a daily basis that things got better. I still only have 14 facebook friends, which is ok because I barely use it these days anyway, but I have a bunch of new friends who I speak with on a daily basis.

[Sugar Ape]

I’m already on a really small dose of Propanolol because I get migraines but that’s also used to treat anxiety, though in a higher dosage than I currently take. I might speak to my GP and see about upping the dosage temporarily. 

[Elite]

2 minutes ago, Sugar Ape said:

I’m already on a really small dose of Propanolol because I get migraines but that’s also used to treat anxiety, though in a higher dosage than I currently take. I might speak to my GP and see about upping the dosage temporarily. 

Would you not consider an anti-depressant for your anxiety?

 

I take mirtazapine as it has hardly any side effects (for me at least) and helps with sleep. It does help to level me out a fair bit.

 

[Sugar Ape]

Just now, Elite said:

Would you not consider an anti-depressant for your anxiety?

 

I take mirtazapine as it has hardly any side effects (for me at least) and helps with sleep. It does help to level me out a fair bit.

 

I was on Mirtzapine for about a year and it was fine at first but I weened myself off about six months ago as I felt it was beginning to make me lethargic and moody and until recently I’ve felt better without it. If I have to then I’ll take it again but want to see if I can manage this without it first. 

[Elite]

1 minute ago, Sugar Ape said:

I was on Mirtzapine for about a year and it was fine at first but I weened myself off about six months ago as I felt it was beginning to make me lethargic and moody and until recently I’ve felt better without it. If I have to then I’ll take it again but want to see if I can manage this without it first. 

Fair enough. When I'm not on anything my mood is up and down erratically. I wouldn't take any other anti-depressant than Mirtazapine as I have found the others make it impossible to spunk.

[Sugar Ape]

19 minutes ago, Elite said:

Fair enough. When I'm not on anything my mood is up and down erratically. I wouldn't take any other anti-depressant than Mirtazapine as I have found the others make it impossible to spunk.

Yeah I was on Citalopram at first and jibbed it for that very reason. Fucking ridiculous, was an interesting challenge at first then just became a right pain. Figuratively and literally. 

[Elite]

5 minutes ago, Sugar Ape said:

Yeah I was on Citalopram at first and jibbed it for that very reason. Fucking ridiculous, was an interesting challenge at first then just became a right pain. Figuratively and literally. 

My GP said they give it blokes who struggle with premature ejaculation. It's like the Viagra for the overcexcited.

[Section_31]

33 minutes ago, Elite said:

Fair enough. When I'm not on anything my mood is up and down erratically. I wouldn't take any other anti-depressant than Mirtazapine as I have found the others make it impossible to spunk.

I've only ever had Citalopram, first time I ever had it it was class after a few weeks, I could actually sit there and watch a full episode of TV, which I've not been able to do before or since. Even when someone is talking to me most of the time I'm not listening and thinking about something else.

 

Budhists are definitely into something with this calm mind shit, mine is like a cat scratching walls. 

 

[mattyq]

11 hours ago, Sugar Ape said:

Been feeling a bit more anxious than usual lately and yesterday afternoon started getting twinges in my chest, not really actual pain as such just a really uncomfortable like stabbing sensation in my heart area. Lasted all day right up until I fell asleep about 2am, took my blood pressure and heart rate multiple times and they were both absolutely fine and had no other symptoms of heart problems such as pain in my jaw and arm or dizziness etc... so pretty sure it’s anxiety related.

 

Woke up this morning and felt ok, went for a walk before and did about a mile feeling great then suddenly started feeling weird, not really sure how to explain it but felt like my blood was running cold and I was walking through water, like I needed a sugar boost or something. 
 

Got in and was ok for about an hour then the twinges in my chest started again. Had something similar about six years ago and ended up going to A&E in Aintree hospital and had a heart scan and they said everything was fine and put it down to anxiety/panic attacks but the more I get these twinges the more anxious I get and the longer it lasts. Obviously don’t want to go near a hospital at the minute so just going to keep an eye on things but it’s mad how much anxiety can affect you. 
 

Think I’m going to have to totally avoid the news and stuff for a day or two I think as I’m sure all the 24/7 saturation of Coronavirus coverage isn’t helping things. 

Don't want to make you more anxious but it sounds like a bad case of Anxiety Aids

I had similar and the Doc prescrbed Sertraline which seems to have done the trick mostly. Was on citalopram but had the same side effects as everybody else

[Sugar Ape]

8 minutes ago, Section_31 said:

I've only ever had Citalopram, first time I ever had it it was class after a few weeks, I could actually sit there and watch a full episode of TV, which I've not been able to do before or since. Even when someone is talking to me most of the time I'm not listening and thinking about something else.

 

Budhists are definitely into something with this calm mind shit, mine is like a cat scratching walls. 

 

One of the reasons I think it’s the anxiety is that very occasionally, like yesterday I had a phone call for an hour with my boss from work, I seem to forget about things and then realised after I’d been on the phone to her my chest hadn’t twinged once and I hadn’t felt anxious. Obviously I then immediately started to feel like shit. 
 

In general though I just can’t switch off, it takes me two hours to watch a 30 minute programme because in the middle of watching I’ll think of Lockerbie or some other shit and have to look it up immediately on Wikipedia. In fact, just looked up my last five searches on there and they are:

Chapman Pincher

Jodie Marsh

Mandingo

Malapropism

Roch Thériault (pretty gruesome his Wikipedia entry)

And I cant remember why I searched for any of them or why they popped into my head. 
 

I find it incredibly hard to switch off and just relax. Mentally speaking that is, I’m happy to sit on the couch all day. 

 

[elvis]

On 29/09/2019 at 21:43, Rico1304 said:

I’ll run with you you cunt. Not far from Wythenshaw.  

Plenty of bullets here but given the topic I'll pass !

[Section_31]

15 minutes ago, Sugar Ape said:

One of the reasons I think it’s the anxiety is that very occasionally, like yesterday I had a phone call for an hour with my boss from work, I seem to forget about things and then realised after I’d been on the phone to her my chest hadn’t twinged once and I hadn’t felt anxious. Obviously I then immediately started to feel like shit. 
 

In general though I just can’t switch off, it takes me two hours to watch a 30 minute programme because in the middle of watching I’ll think of Lockerbie or some other shit and have to look it up immediately on Wikipedia. In fact, just looked up my last five searches on there and they are:

Chapman Pincher

Jodie Marsh

Mandingo

Malapropism

Roch Thériault (pretty gruesome his Wikipedia entry)

And I cant remember why I searched for any of them or why they popped into my head. 
 

I find it incredibly hard to switch off and just relax. Mentally speaking that is, I’m happy to sit on the couch all day. 

 

Ha mate I'm the same. 

 

Last time I had a really bad bout of it (it's always simmering, but a couple of times I've had to take time off work) was about three/four years ago. I remember 'watching' two full seasons of Rome on telly and not remembering a single fucking thing from any of it. 

 

I actually started to play on my Playstation, which I virtually never do, I played Uncharted 4 and that seemed to help. I seemed to relax and just lose a couple of hours a day. 

 

Maybe work is the problem at the moment for you? In concert with everything that's going on. I took a week off a couple of weeks back for that very reason and just lounged, listened to some  tunes and watched some DVDs and it seemed to work a treat. 

 

Before all this kicked off I'd actually thought about getting into some stuff like fishing or canoeing or some shit, stuff designed to get me out but also distract/relax me. I have no other real hobbies or ways of relaxation, which is probably 75% of the problem. 

 

 

[Rico1304]

11 minutes ago, elvis said:

Plenty of bullets here but given the topic I'll pass !

? 

[elvis]

1 hour ago, Elite said:

Would you not consider an anti-depressant for your anxiety?

 

I take mirtazapine as it has hardly any side effects (for me at least) and helps with sleep. It does help to level me out a fair bit.

 

How long does this stuff take to kick in?

I tried citalopram for a healthy phobia/anxiety and it made me worse - gave me some real panic type episodes almost immediately.