Depression

[aRdja]

12 minutes ago, littletedwest said:

Really feeling depressed at the moment, actually not depressed just feeling nothing. I'm 40 next year i have no assets, loads of debt which i'm struggling with. My jobs depressing and having no drive is making me worse at it, which gets me bollocked which gets me more pissed off and the vicious cycle continues.

 

I'm out of shape (i used run 2 or 3 times a week as well as hitting the gym). Lost my discipline eating and smoking more than i should (obviously as you shouldnt really smoke). Pretty much all i look forward to is getting pissed or being asleep.

At the moment every day feels like i turn the key but the engine wont start.

That sounds awful mate. Really sorry to hear that. Would it be difficult for you to find another job elsewhere? 

[littletedwest]

to be honest after doing 17 years i'd like redundancy i know a guy who got a job somewhere else then 3 months later they shut his shop he'd have got anout 30k redundancy. I'm not under any disciplinary pressure or anything yet just demotivated.

In last 12 months i've lost my dad, my dog and my mums had a major heart operation. In april i was going from wythenshaw visiting her to the care home as my dad got to the end.

 

Losing my dad's been harder than i expected, i knew it'd be hard but it just hits me sometime. 

 

 

[A Red]

My mates mate, well actually his gay partner, has just been knocked back from joining the Army due to having been diagnosed with depression 10 years ago. It was a short lived thing that happened due to a load of shit going on in his life. He did what we are now all told do, go and talk to your doctor, and now despite having no relapses he cant fulfil his dream of being a soldier. Seems daft to me

[Elite]

17 minutes ago, A Red said:

My mates mate, well actually his gay partner, has just been knocked back from joining the Army due to having been diagnosed with depression 10 years ago. It was a short lived thing that happened due to a load of shit going on in his life. He did what we are now all told do, go and talk to your doctor, and now despite having no relapses he cant fulfil his dream of being a soldier. Seems daft to me

It's all about coping how you deal with stress, so I do get the reasons even though it was 10 years ago and maybe he's not telling the full story.

[Elite]

21 minutes ago, littletedwest said:

to be honest after doing 17 years i'd like redundancy i know a guy who got a job somewhere else then 3 months later they shut his shop he'd have got anout 30k redundancy. I'm not under any disciplinary pressure or anything yet just demotivated.

In last 12 months i've lost my dad, my dog and my mums had a major heart operation. In april i was going from wythenshaw visiting her to the care home as my dad got to the end.

 

Losing my dad's been harder than i expected, i knew it'd be hard but it just hits me sometime. 

 

 

You need something to distract yourself and some small goals, get back running.

[Bjornebye]

45 minutes ago, littletedwest said:

Really feeling depressed at the moment, actually not depressed just feeling nothing. I'm 40 next year i have no assets, loads of debt which i'm struggling with. My jobs depressing and having no drive is making me worse at it, which gets me bollocked which gets me more pissed off and the vicious cycle continues.

 

I'm out of shape (i used run 2 or 3 times a week as well as hitting the gym). Lost my discipline eating and smoking more than i should (obviously as you shouldnt really smoke). Pretty much all i look forward to is getting pissed or being asleep.

At the moment every day feels like i turn the key but the engine wont start.

People will go to some lengths these days just to say they go the gym. 

 

 

Oh by the way, I feel exactly the same. Its empty. Drink takes me away from it briefly but then I spend 3 days hoping herbal teas will help me. Cant sleep, sweat in bed and hate no-one but myself. 

[Mudface]

50 minutes ago, Elite said:

You need something to distract yourself and some small goals, get back running.

Definitely- @littletedwest have a look at https://www.parkrun.org.uk and join in your local run. Don't worry about anyone else, maybe make it a goal to try and beat your best time each week. Running's fantastic for improving your body and spirit. You don't have to be serious (unless you get bitten by the bug), just being outside and plodding along for 20-30 minutes every so often is great for organising your thoughts and getting rid of stress.

[A Red]

1 hour ago, Elite said:

It's all about coping how you deal with stress, so I do get the reasons even though it was 10 years ago and maybe he's not telling the full story.

I did wonder whether he has painted a full picture, but he has requested to see his medical records as he is adamant it was just a temporary thing.

 

The thing that surprised me was the reason given for the knock back wasnt the potential stress of being a soldier rather the rigours of the initial training, something i know he wouldnt have a problem with. 

 

My point, I guess, was depression can hit anyone at any time and if you feel admitting it can hinder you in the future you might just keep schtum. Obviously the best thing to do is talk to professionals.

[Elite]

2 minutes ago, A Red said:

I did wonder whether he has painted a full picture, but he has requested to see his medical records as he is adamant it was just a temporary thing.

 

The thing that surprised me was the reason given for the knock back wasnt the potential stress of being a soldier rather the rigours of the initial training, something i know he wouldnt have a problem with. 

 

My point, I guess, was depression can hit anyone at any time and if you feel admitting it can hinder you in the future you might just keep schtum. Obviously the best thing to do is talk to professionals.

I do understand your point. I've been reading a book by Jason Fox (ex-special forces) and it's been lauded for his openness regarding his mental health issues and promoting people to seek help if they are suffering but then on the flip side, you'll get knocked back for 'macho' roles such as military, police, etc. It's probably a good job the military recruit young people as a large percentage of people have been on some form of beta-blocker/anti-depressant by the age of 25, so it'd be more of a small group than a squadron!

[TheHowieLama]

1 minute ago, Elite said:

 more of a small group than a squadron!

It is a team. A handful of fellas

[Elite]

1 minute ago, TheHowieLama said:

It is a team. A handful of fellas

Maybe Battalion would have been more apt 

[TheHowieLama]

A BATTALION!!??

 

That is a shitload of guys

[Elite]

11 minutes ago, TheHowieLama said:

A BATTALION!!??

 

That is a shitload of guys

That's my point, how do you fill a battalion when 90% of the applicants have been on valium.

[TheHowieLama]

Just now, Elite said:

That's my point, how do you fill a battalion when 90% of the applicants have been on valium.

Valium -- easy, just point them down the hallway.

[Mudface]

2 hours ago, littletedwest said:

Really feeling depressed at the moment, actually not depressed just feeling nothing. I'm 40 next year i have no assets, loads of debt which i'm struggling with. My jobs depressing and having no drive is making me worse at it, which gets me bollocked which gets me more pissed off and the vicious cycle continues.

 

I'm out of shape (i used run 2 or 3 times a week as well as hitting the gym). Lost my discipline eating and smoking more than i should (obviously as you shouldnt really smoke). Pretty much all i look forward to is getting pissed or being asleep.

At the moment every day feels like i turn the key but the engine wont start.

Missed the comment you made about debt; looking at the rest of your post this might be the main factor in how you're feeling.

 

Is it unsecured debt, like loans or credit cards not tied to your house? If so, then try and call the lenders and see if you can agree a repayment plan you can afford without putting yourself in difficulty- do this before it gets any worse and they impose swingeing interest rates or sell the debt on to less reputable brokers. Call Citizen's Advice if you need help with this.

 

If there's a lien on your property then do the same and also make an appointment with Citizen's Advice whether or not you think you can handle it. It's vital that you don't risk losing your house over what might be relatively small debts. There's a ton of advice available online- e.g. Money Saving Expert and its forums- and most reputable lenders would rather you were realistic so they can get their money back.

 

But you have to make an effort to deal with it.

[House of Dirk]

4 hours ago, littletedwest said:

to be honest after doing 17 years i'd like redundancy i know a guy who got a job somewhere else then 3 months later they shut his shop he'd have got anout 30k redundancy. I'm not under any disciplinary pressure or anything yet just demotivated.

In last 12 months i've lost my dad, my dog and my mums had a major heart operation. In april i was going from wythenshaw visiting her to the care home as my dad got to the end.

 

Losing my dad's been harder than i expected, i knew it'd be hard but it just hits me sometime. 

 

 

You have gone through a lot of shit mate, in a short space of time. Are you able to take any annual leave or even speak to your GP and get yourself signed off ? I did this when I had a terrible time back in 2016 and was recommended Healthy Minds by my local GP. I am based down south so it might go by some other name etc if youre based in the L postcode area.

 

The most important thing it bought me was time. I was away from work with a legitimate fit note that was untouchable (2010 equality act). I hated my job at the time anyway but was in real state to contribribute to it (although my employer were pretty decent over this in all fairness), but the time off allowed me my own space and my own recovery in I could rest and not have that pressure of having to deal with a day until I was good and ready (and that does come back, given time).

 

Whilst I was off, I was under Healthy Minds under local NHS where I was offered, after a diagnosis, a choice of CBT treatments (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) and I elected for an online course with telephone counselling for about 6 weeks. And it made a difference. That was two years ago. I have had my moments since, and life continues to throw big ticket shit at me, but I have been determined to get myself back to how I define as 'normal'. I had about 6 weeks off work and after the second week, I was more motivated to try and sort my own shit out. I am not trying to paint a fairy tale or anything like that, but what I am trying to rather clumsily emphasise is that there is support there to buy you that time for you, at the very least.  You have my best wishes.

[Rico1304]

4 hours ago, littletedwest said:

to be honest after doing 17 years i'd like redundancy i know a guy who got a job somewhere else then 3 months later they shut his shop he'd have got anout 30k redundancy. I'm not under any disciplinary pressure or anything yet just demotivated.

In last 12 months i've lost my dad, my dog and my mums had a major heart operation. In april i was going from wythenshaw visiting her to the care home as my dad got to the end.

 

Losing my dad's been harder than i expected, i knew it'd be hard but it just hits me sometime. 

 

 

I’ll run with you you cunt. Not far from Wythenshaw.  

[littletedwest]

Thanks. The debts aren't that bad I'm not in arrears but its another straw. Thanks for your suggestion Dirk as well

[littletedwest]

Just now, Rico1304 said:

I’ll run with you you cunt. Not far from Wythenshaw.  

Ha I'm a bit away from there it's just the main cardiac centre in the north west 

[VERBAL DIARRHEA]

In a bad place again at the minute. Cannot switch off. This shit hit anyone, any time. 

[Champ]

58 minutes ago, VERBAL DIARRHEA said:

In a bad place again at the minute. Cannot switch off. This shit hit anyone, any time. 

Boring isn’t it?

 

Where are you up to?

[VERBAL DIARRHEA]

4 minutes ago, Champ said:

Boring isn’t it?

 

Where are you up to?

Sorry you’ve got me?

[Champ]

3 minutes ago, VERBAL DIARRHEA said:

Sorry you’ve got me?

Boring...that sinking ‘not again’ feeling 

 

Where are you up to?...what are you doing to get back to ‘normal’?

[VERBAL DIARRHEA]

Just now, Champ said:

Boring...that sinking ‘not again’ feeling 

 

Where are you up to?...what are you doing to get back to ‘normal’?

On the same meds, no reason to not be in a good place. Which makes it worse and obviously less understandable.

[Champ]

2 minutes ago, VERBAL DIARRHEA said:

On the same meds, no reason to not be in a good place. Which makes it worse and obviously less understandable.

Have you been restarted on meds or have you been taking them continuously?