Depression

[zigackly]

Interesting. I thought it was the most effective treatment for depression centered on low self-worth. What talking therapy did they use if it wasn't CBT?

 

I've been lucky enough to find two different therapists who will use whatever methods they think work best at the time for an individual patient. Mostly it's been about me exploring my own problems in my own time with very little direction from them, which in fairness is probably the only thing that would work for me. Role playing, guff about my inner child, or any kind of prescriptive program would probably have led to me walking out. I'm fully aware that's just about me though. I'm sure CBT is great for loads of people.

[piscinin]

By the way piscinin, I'm genuinely not into having a pissing contest about this. It's too serious a subject. I just deeply regret that too many people don't try counselling because they think admitting to mental illness is a sign of weakness. I wouldn't admit I was depressed for years, and after my breakdown I didn't even tell my partner until I had been signed off work for six weeks, and didn't tell the rest of my family or any friends for six months. Amongst middle aged British men with a working class background in particular, it is very difficult for people to accept that kind of help but very easy to pop a few pills and hope it will blow over. In most cases, that won't work.

 

I know. I'm wary of generalizations in this field though.

[General Dryness]

This site is worth a look Depression - home .

 

Depression is a huge problem here in NZ, with one of the highest male suicide rates in the world. Took a lot of balls for John Kirwan, ex all black and archetypal kiwi man, to come out and say he'd been there and it wasn't a sign of weakness to admit you were depressed. Got a lot of respect for the guy.

[zigackly]

I know. I'm wary of generalizations in this field though.

 

Fair comment. Everything I've written is just a personal opinion on a very complex subject.

[General Dryness]

Haha. I'd never opened this thread before today so just flicked back a couple of pages to catch up and yours was the first post I read. I negged you before I read on and noticed you were joking, that's just how I roll.

 

Deal with it.

 

Haha I negged him as well before I read this. Never mind eh?

[piscinin]

Fair comment. Everything I've written is just a personal opinion on a very complex subject.

 

Back to CBT, did you ever read Feeling Good / The New Mood Therapy. I found it really good TBH, not even from a depression perspective, more a general psychological self-defense type thing. I'd recommend it to anyone really, it has that american layer of self-help schmaltz, but you can tune that out pretty easily. And Bibliotherapy trumps telling a stranger shit you won't even admit to yourself in my book.

 

It may be out of print, but I can hook anyone up who is interested.

[zigackly]

Sounds odd, but once I got over my initial reluctance I found admitting stuff to a stranger a lot easier than admitting it to myself and still do. Not read any books on therapy.

[Guest Pistonbroke]

Be who you want to be and not what others want you to be.

 

Feel confident in what you do regardless of the outcome.

 

Love what you do, not what others want you to do.

 

Be yourself!!!

[Champ]

Sounds odd, but once I got over my initial reluctance I found admitting stuff to a stranger a lot easier than admitting it to myself and still do. Not read any books on therapy.

 

I think there is so much more to be gained from speaking your thoughts out loud and having them validated or drawn out by another person. That old adage about sometimes being too close to something to see it properly really holds true

[piscinin]

Sounds odd, but once I got over my initial reluctance I found admitting stuff to a stranger a lot easier than admitting it to myself and still do. Not read any books on therapy.

 

Wow! Interesting. Almost like you were talking about someone else to start with?

 

Ignore me, I slipped into CBT analysis mode then.

[biglad]

I completed 9 months of CBT at the end of last December. It gave me the tools to better manage my dips, to help with anxiety and to better understand my triggers. It's not stopped my self loathing nor feeling desperate, but at least it's helped me to step back, look at the situation and gradually take part in things that most take for granted.

 

I initially found the CBT approach to be bollocks, but I was lucky to have a therapist who was not only patient but also willing to adapt the standard approach to something that related to my needs. I can't say it will work for others, but it has helped me.

[llego]

My little brother has suffered from depression in recent years. Hes far more successful than me by anyones measure, graduated from Harvard and got grants to do field research all across South America... and yet these crippling bouts of depression reduce him to feeling utterly worthless. Hes just paralyzed when its really bad, cant leave his room.

 

Having been on and off meds for a while, and also in various therapy and counseling programs, he had come to see it as a condition that would always be with him, that he had to avoid through finding the right environment. One of the psychologists he saw told him the self fulfiling prophecy that people who had a bout of depression were more likely to be depressed again. All this combined to create an intense fear of the depression in him, so that a slight mood dip could quickly escalate into a severe bout.

 

One of the main causes, I think, is that like many people in our culture, he identifies with what he does (mainly in a work/career sense). When hes doing many interesting things, he feels valued and has a high self worth. When he has little to do, he feels worthless. Of course, the worse he feels, the more driven he is to do things, the more overwhelmed and paralyzed and unable to do anything he becomes...

 

What seems to help the most is bringing himself back to the present. The depression, the fear, it all exists in his mind, in an imagined future or a remembered past. None of it's real. Right now, right at this moment, he just is, and he is worth the same no matter what his current activity may be. In this regard sitting meditation has been a helpful tool as well.

[rEddie]

Some brave, expressive posts on here. Been on the big D bus myself. Measure of the quality of people on here that you can share experiences like you have in this thread. Peace.

[s(k)aturation]

I liken it to walking in the pouring rain.

And rushing for the cover of a tree.

Once there, you realise you can't stay under the refuge of that same tree forever.

So you muster up the energy to make a dash for the next one.

And so on.

Constantly running for cover, and realising that refuge is impermanent.

Exhausting.

The wait for the rain to stop can be a long, draining and damaging one.

Then hugely, somewhat overwhelmingly relieving when it does finally stop.

[piscinin]

I liken it to walking in the pouring rain.

And rushing for the cover of a tree.

Once there, you realise you can't stay under the refuge of that same tree forever.

So you muster up the energy to make a dash for the next one.

And so on.

Constantly running for cover, and realising that refuge is impermanent.

Exhausting.

The wait for the rain to stop can be a long, draining and damaging one.

Then hugely, somewhat overwhelmingly relieving when it does finally stop.

 

Perfect segue to a great quote.

 

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain.

[s(k)aturation]

Perfect segue to a great quote.

 

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain.

 

Cool.

[piscinin]

Cool.

 

Much healthier perspective IMO and CBT certified. Probably as useful as telling a substance abuser to "just quit". But hey ho.

[rEddie]

Reading this thread with a glass of vino. I have flirted with this D stuff since my twenties. I am now 45. I am presently in a mode where I feel like I am outside looking in. A spectator to a banal, self-destructive life I lead. Not destructive in a physical means, but more so by the way I repeatedly make the same mistakes, like a dog chasing a parked car. Self loathing, no confidence, yet mistaken (infuriatingly so) by those closest to me as someone having a world of confidence. WTF?? Yet I can't convince otherwise. I have a life I "should be embracing", one with very wonderful people around me...

 

As I have grown older, the correlation between these feelings and the physical pain grows stronger. Why am I sharing? I don't have a fucking clue. I live on the periphery of this disease. It visits me like a relative and then goes away until next time...

 

So in the spirit of TLW, how do I end this post in a jovial way? Don't know. But feel free to give me appropriate gip for bearing my soul. I'll laugh, feel like a twat in the morning for writing this and will look on the GF for some thread to make me smile. Peace.

[Rico1304]

Was it one of you twats on the bridge over the M40 tonight?

 

(Too much? Hope not)

[Creator Supreme]

Sorry for the bump, but I've just been reading through this thread, some amazing posts, I've suffered with and been treated for anxiety and depression for about 15 years, and this thread has proves quite cathartic.

 

I'm suffering badly at the moment, and believe me, this has helped a lot!

[Dr Nowt]

.

[Jairzinho]

Sorry for the bump, but I've just been reading through this thread, some amazing posts, I've suffered with and been treated for anxiety and depression for about 15 years, and this thread has proves quite cathartic.

 

I'm suffering badly at the moment, and believe me, this has helped a lot!

 

I've no doubt that there are more, for want of a better word, serious cures/remedies, but have you tried ASMR?

 

People with all sorts of things like anxiety, insomnia, stress, anger issues, etc have found it can help.

[Champ]

Has anyone tried mindfulness? I'm a little sceptical about something so apparently simple but would love to hear if anyone's got any personal experience of using it

[Major Tom]

Has anyone tried mindfulness? I'm a little sceptical about something so apparently simple but would love to hear if anyone's got any personal experience of using it

 

Try this, Champ.

 

https://www.headspace.com/

[Adebisi]

I'm well over my depression, but the anxiety remains. I don't think it'll be something that goes away.

My anxiety is health related, in the sense that a few times a year, for fairly lengthy periods I'll be convinced there's something seriously wrong with me. Even when I get a standard cold, if it lasts longer than 2 days I'm telling myself it is something life threatening. I manage it a lot better these days, but when my depression was at its peak I'd be diagnosing myself with all manner of things. I've made myself really mentally unwell in the past with this type of thinking. My dad dying brought on the depression but why the health worries came with that I'm not sure. I never used to worry that much when he was ill, but maybe that was because he was a tough bloke who didn't let on when he was suffering. 

Everyone says 'It gets better' and when you're as down as I was it sounded like the stupidest thing ever, but the truth is, it does. I know I'd have found it a lot harder if it wasn't for my family, mum especially, but there was a time I couldn't walk down the road without having a panic attack, getting up at 10pm so I didn't have to see anyone, lost every mate from school and sixth form I had.. but now I'm really enjoying my life and the direction I'm going and I'm really lucky to have a fantastic set of mates.

8 years ago I didn't see a way out of this rut. I even remember overhearing my family saying something along the lines of 'He might never get himself out of this even with all our help. The lights are on, but no one's home' and this was before I was zonked out on the medication. Even hearing that and my mum crying didn't make me think 'You can get through this. Be strong for your mam' I just thought I'd rather go to sleep forever. But now, like I say, I feel fucking ace, man. Sometimes I remind myself of those times and I actually smile, because where I was, to where I am now.. it doesn't even seem real. 

I just wish my relationship with my mum was better. I still can't get over the fact that she had to see me so low for so long. I feel embarrassed. I know it's stupid because it's my ma and without her love I wouldn't be the man I am today, but I still find it really hard to tell her how I feel sometimes. The thought of looking her in the eyes and telling her I love her fills me with dread. That's something I want to sort sooner rather than later, a card isn't good enough to express my feelings for that woman. She's my hero (well after Stan Lee)