Would you sleep around while in a relationship?

[Elite]

She phoned me tonight from Cyprus to remind me to put the bins out tomorrow evening. Hardly the behaviour of someone who can’t stand me.

https://youtu.be/9xAi80ShG0I"]https://youtu.be/9xAi80ShG0I

[VladimirIlyich]

Was he wearing arseless chaps?

There was one chap hanging out of them at the end of the night.

[TheBitch]

Would you class a massage and a happy ending as cheating?

 

Absolutely no...

 

Obviously

 

I mean, yes, yes it is, you animal.

[VladimirIlyich]

The only correct answer to this question is 'Yes,as long as she was fit.'

[Jenson]

So I met a stripper last night. Somewhere along the line she decided she was coming home with me. We were in the taxi queue and I thought better of it and put her in a different cab.

 

Progress!

I’m late onto this and I’m pissed after watching the match this afternoon, but you are such a lying cunt! Why do you bother with this shit?

[Rico1304]

I’m late onto this and I’m pissed after watching the match this afternoon, but you are such a lying cunt! Why do you bother with this shit?

Another murder arrest?

[Captain Turdseye]

Me and my bird became friends with a couple when our daughter was going to the same nursery as theirs about two years ago. They were, on the face of it, a really nice husband and wife, married for nine years. I started going out drinking occasionally with him and Mrs Turdseye was getting pally with her, going on dog walks, round each other’s houses for a brew and a chat, etc.

 

It wasn’t too long before my bird was coming back telling me stories about the wife. She was apparently quite brazen about having four/five men on the go all the time. It properly shocked me. Not just because she was supposed to be happily married but also because she’s a big old unit and I wouldn’t go there if you paid me. They had a chalet on the coast and she’d go away regularly for some ‘alone time’ and she’d also have blokes round while he was at work. My bird didn't really want to know because the husband is sound and it put her in an awkward position but this woman just would not shut up about being rattled by blokes off the internet.

 

Her telling me put me in an awkward position also because for all I know while I was out on the ale with him she was getting shafted in the marital bed. There was also the risk of me running my mouth after one too many.

 

They split up a couple of months ago and he’s still none the wiser. He doesn’t want to cause any grief for his daughter so she’s kept the house, the car, everything, and he’s in a shared house with a lad he’s not too keen on. She’s apparently ramped it up and is meeting anyone with a dick and no shame.

 

Now I’m going out with him a lot more regularly and Mrs Turdseye doesn’t go round her house anymore. When slagface comes to ours Mrs Turdseye asks me to hover around so she doesn’t start banging on about her sex life.

 

The trouble is, I’m starting to think of him as a real mate. If that is the case, am I obliged to tell him? I’m not sure I trust myself not to at some point while I’m pissed.

Seen this lad down the pub last night and found out that he’s knobbing the local bike. She’s another one we met at the nursery. This one is quite open about being a spunk depository. Word has it that she promised one bloke she’d get an abortion if he bought her an iPad. So he bought her the iPad but she went ahead and had the baby anyway.

 

At least his wife tried to hide the fact she was a slag. Unbelievable.

[VladimirIlyich]

Seen this lad down the pub last night and found out that he’s knobbing the local bike. She’s another one we met at the nursery. This one is quite open about being a spunk depository. Word has it that she promised one bloke she’d get an abortion if he bought her an iPad. So he bought her the iPad but she went ahead and had the baby anyway.

 

At least his wife tried to hide the fact she was a slag. Unbelievable.

Do you live on the set of a soap opera?

[Juniper]

Seen this lad down the pub last night and found out that he’s knobbing the local bike. She’s another one we met at the nursery. This one is quite open about being a spunk depository. Word has it that she promised one bloke she’d get an abortion if he bought her an iPad. So he bought her the iPad but she went ahead and had the baby anyway.

 

At least his wife tried to hide the fact she was a slag. Unbelievable.

Fucking hell.

 

Good thing you’ve kept out of it to date in that case!.

 

Avoid

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

What model of iPad was it you bought her? Did she demand Apple care as well?

[VladimirIlyich]

What model of iPad was it you bought her? Did she demand Apple care as well?

The ipad touch me anywhere you like.

[stringvest]

What model of iPad was it you bought her? Did she demand Apple care as well?

 

 

iPad Pro.

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

The iPad Mini-me

[Ezekiel 25:17]

Seen this lad down the pub last night and found out that he’s knobbing the local bike. She’s another one we met at the nursery. This one is quite open about being a spunk depository. Word has it that she promised one bloke she’d get an abortion if he bought her an iPad. So he bought her the iPad but she went ahead and had the baby anyway.

 

At least his wife tried to hide the fact she was a slag. Unbelievable.

 

 

She's played a blinder here as everyone knows an ipad is brilliant for keeping a kid entertained, especially when they don't have a father.

[Kevin D]

Me and my bird became friends with a couple when our daughter was going to the same nursery as theirs about two years ago. They were, on the face of it, a really nice husband and wife, married for nine years. I started going out drinking occasionally with him and Mrs Turdseye was getting pally with her, going on dog walks, round each other’s houses for a brew and a chat, etc.

It wasn’t too long before my bird was coming back telling me stories about the wife. She was apparently quite brazen about having four/five men on the go all the time. It properly shocked me. Not just because she was supposed to be happily married but also because she’s a big old unit and I wouldn’t go there if you paid me. They had a chalet on the coast and she’d go away regularly for some ‘alone time’ and she’d also have blokes round while he was at work. My bird didn't really want to know because the husband is sound and it put her in an awkward position but this woman just would not shut up about being rattled by blokes off the internet.

Her telling me put me in an awkward position also because for all I know while I was out on the ale with him she was getting shafted in the marital bed. There was also the risk of me running my mouth after one too many.

They split up a couple of months ago and he’s still none the wiser. He doesn’t want to cause any grief for his daughter so she’s kept the house, the car, everything, and he’s in a shared house with a lad he’s not too keen on. She’s apparently ramped it up and is meeting anyone with a dick and no shame.

Now I’m going out with him a lot more regularly and Mrs Turdseye doesn’t go round her house anymore. When slagface comes to ours Mrs Turdseye asks me to hover around so she doesn’t start banging on about her sex life.

The trouble is, I’m starting to think of him as a real mate. If that is the case, am I obliged to tell him? I’m not sure I trust myself not to at some point while I’m pissed.

He almost certainly knows.

Seen this lad down the pub last night and found out that he’s knobbing the local bike. She’s another one we met at the nursery. This one is quite open about being a spunk depository. Word has it that she promised one bloke she’d get an abortion if he bought her an iPad. So he bought her the iPad but she went ahead and had the baby anyway.

 

 

At least his wife tried to hide the fact she was a slag. Unbelievable.

  

 

 

 

[Remmie]

On 06/11/2012 at 21:14, dennis tooth said:

Yes I do but there are no lies with me. If I bang another I always inform my lover and that saves on carrying needless guilt baggage around. Leave it with her.

Offloading on your partner after blowing your load up a crumpled crotch. I dont believe in lies and I dont intend to live one. I learned the hard way fuck em but dont trust them. Call me a bastard Im honest ans if they didnt wanna hover around like the moon annoying the earth everytime you turn around. Fucking hell moon are you still here? So fuck loyalty. Cos loyalty is stagnant and bitches statistically prefer unloyal to toil in their coil. Lance her pussy like a boil.Thats your job. Dont let any of them have your babies under any circumcisionstances whatsonever. You are the child. Do not lose this mantle to some limp wristed writhing screamer with only half your dna making you grow up turfing out yor lovers fanny so it dont gfit no more and comandeering her tits. I cud go on but I think Ive made myself clear. This is the life I live.

beware of women they smile just with their eyes.

I miss the tooth, worraloon.

[Remmie]

On 09/05/2018 at 22:34, Captain Turdseye said:

Me and my bird became friends with a couple when our daughter was going to the same nursery as theirs about two years ago. They were, on the face of it, a really nice husband and wife, married for nine years. I started going out drinking occasionally with him and Mrs Turdseye was getting pally with her, going on dog walks, round each other’s houses for a brew and a chat, etc.

 

It wasn’t too long before my bird was coming back telling me stories about the wife. She was apparently quite brazen about having four/five men on the go all the time. It properly shocked me. Not just because she was supposed to be happily married but also because she’s a big old unit and I wouldn’t go there if you paid me. They had a chalet on the coast and she’d go away regularly for some ‘alone time’ and she’d also have blokes round while he was at work. My bird didn't really want to know because the husband is sound and it put her in an awkward position but this woman just would not shut up about being rattled by blokes off the internet.

 

Her telling me put me in an awkward position also because for all I know while I was out on the ale with him she was getting shafted in the marital bed. There was also the risk of me running my mouth after one too many.

 

They split up a couple of months ago and he’s still none the wiser. He doesn’t want to cause any grief for his daughter so she’s kept the house, the car, everything, and he’s in a shared house with a lad he’s not too keen on. She’s apparently ramped it up and is meeting anyone with a dick and no shame.

 

Now I’m going out with him a lot more regularly and Mrs Turdseye doesn’t go round her house anymore. When slagface comes to ours Mrs Turdseye asks me to hover around so she doesn’t start banging on about her sex life.

 

The trouble is, I’m starting to think of him as a real mate. If that is the case, am I obliged to tell him? I’m not sure I trust myself not to at some point while I’m pissed.

Any update on this cheese?

[Captain Turdseye]

I was reading this thread earlier while looking for something else. Creepy. 

 

15 minutes ago, Remmie said:

Any update on this cheese?

 

Fat slag is now shacked up with some Polish bloke who’s fifteen years younger than her. Apparently he’s really controlling, doesn’t let her do anything and insists that they’re not even in a proper relationship even though he moved into her house about two days after they met.

 

He’s a weed dealer and she was briefly making skunk brownies and trying to sell them. Mrs Turdseye got a sample and it was one of the most disgusting things I’ve ever tasted. I can only describe it by saying it was like eating a bag of shit weed. Cellophane included. 

 

She came round to ours a few weeks ago crying after he made her take her dog to a shelter because he didn’t want to look after it while she was out. 

 

Meanwhile my boy has got a new missus who, as far as I’m aware, isn’t a rabid whore. He’s grown a beard, moved out of the shared flat and is living in one of the nicer parts of town. I think he’s winning. 

[Remmie]

7 minutes ago, Captain Turdseye said:

I was reading this thread earlier while looking for something else. Creepy. 

 

 

Fat slag is now shacked up with some Polish bloke who’s fifteen years younger than her. Apparently he’s really controlling, doesn’t let her do anything and insists that they’re not even in a proper relationship even though he moved into her house about two days after they met.

 

He’s a weed dealer and she was briefly making skunk brownies and trying to sell them. Mrs Turdseye got a sample and it was one of the most disgusting things I’ve ever tasted. I can only describe it by saying it was like eating a bag of shit weed. Cellophane included. 

 

She came round to ours a few weeks ago crying after he made her take her dog to a shelter because he didn’t want to look after it while she was out. 

 

Meanwhile my boy has got a new missus who, as far as I’m aware, isn’t a rabid whore. He’s grown a beard, moved out of the shared flat and is living in one of the nicer parts of town. I think he’s winning. 

Did you ever tell him or discuss the cheating?

[Captain Turdseye]

5 minutes ago, Remmie said:

Did you ever tell him or discuss the cheating?

 

No. I took the GF’s advice and swerved it.

[Dr Nowt]

22 minutes ago, Captain Turdseye said:

I was reading this thread earlier while looking for something else.

Mining blog blert’s seminal ‘Laws of attraction’ work again already?

[TheBitch]

1 hour ago, Remmie said:

I miss the tooth, worraloon.

I laughed at this more than I probably should have...

 

If they didnt wanna hover around like the moon annoying the earth everytime you turn around. Fucking hell moon are you still here?

[Remmie]

Blog your way to a stripper's heart 

[Captain Turdseye]

16 minutes ago, Lizzie Birdsworths Wrinkled Chopper said:

Mining blog blert’s seminal ‘Laws of attraction’ work again already?

 

Looking for posts by myself containing the word ‘married’. Mulling over the idea of three nights in Vegas and if we go there we might as well just do it. 

[Mudface]

My Dad (a Blusenose and a cunt, unsurprisingly) cheated on my mum and the fallout was horrendous, both for her and us kids, so I'd never cheat as I couldn't put my wife and kids through potentially the same thing.