Post-Apocalyptic Survival (or SHTF)

[Pony Princess]

I've got a good feel about the shit hitting the fan.  Don't really think about it much but I reckon I'd survive longer than most of the sheeple.

 

1) Car usually full of gas, toolbox in the back.  House has plenty of tinned goods and I am a horder of bottled water.  Love that stuff.
2) Bought a bit of home-store gold bullion a few years ago (we're talking coins, not bars so lets not go nuts and think about burglarizing me.  You'd end up in my sex cupboard with stuff up your arse).

3) Can ride horses.  When gas runs out, it is four legs, not wheels.  Dump my car in the country near a stables, avoid the zombies, aliens, skellingtons, reptilians, NWO etc and ride into the moors with my SAS handbook and supplies ready to camp down and regroup.
4) This pussy country doesn't let us have guns but hopefully buy some off urban blacks in exchange for a gold coin.

My body is ready.

[Alan Sex]

I've got a good feel about the shit hitting the fan. Don't really think about it much but I reckon I'd survive longer than most of the sheeple.

 

1) Car usually full of gas, toolbox in the back. House has plenty of tinned goods and I am a horder of bottled water. Love that stuff.

2) Bought a bit of home-store gold bullion a few years ago (we're talking coins, not bars so lets not go nuts and think about burglarizing me. You'd end up in my sex cupboard with stuff up your arse).

3) Can ride horses. When gas runs out, it is four legs, not wheels. Dump my car in the country near a stables, avoid the zombies, aliens, skellingtons, reptilians, NWO etc and ride into the moors with my SAS handbook and supplies ready to camp down and regroup.

4) This pussy country doesn't let us have guns but hopefully buy some off urban blacks in exchange for a gold coin.

 

My body is ready.

Not to mention you'll fuck anything, so there will always be options.

[General Dryness]

Not to mention you'll fuck anything, so there will always be options.

 

Every holes a goal in the apocalypse Al. I'll be fucking peoples supurating wounds and allsorts, me.

[Alan Sex]

Every holes a goal in the apocalypse Al. I'll be fucking peoples supurating wounds and allsorts, me.

Not the same being a post apocalyptic opportunist as someone who was into that all along though.

[Bjornebye]

I've read Papillon, Bravo Two Zero and Roger Red Hat so i'm out-living at least 98% of every cunt on earth

[General Dryness]

I've read Papillon, Bravo Two Zero and Roger Red Hat so i'm out-living at least 98% of every cunt on earth

 

Problem being that you're not as hard as Steve McQueen, as skilled as Andy McNab or as smart as Roger Red Hat.

 

You'll be in the first 2% to die.

[Stu Monty]

Killed by his fat zombie house-mate.

[General Dryness]

Killed by his fat zombie house-mate.

 

I reckon they're already practicing eating each other.

[Kevin D]

I've got a good feel about the shit hitting the fan. Don't really think about it much but I reckon I'd survive longer than most of the sheeple.

 

1) Car usually full of gas, toolbox in the back. House has plenty of tinned goods and I am a horder of bottled water. Love that stuff.

2) Bought a bit of home-store gold bullion a few years ago (we're talking coins, not bars so lets not go nuts and think about burglarizing me. You'd end up in my sex cupboard with stuff up your arse).

3) Can ride horses. When gas runs out, it is four legs, not wheels. Dump my car in the country near a stables, avoid the zombies, aliens, skellingtons, reptilians, NWO etc and ride into the moors with my SAS handbook and supplies ready to camp down and regroup.

4) This pussy country doesn't let us have guns but hopefully buy some off urban blacks in exchange for a gold coin.

My body is ready.

 

You don't already own a gun? What would you do, then, if the King of England came into your house and started pushing you around?

[Rico1304]

I've got a good feel about the shit hitting the fan.  Don't really think about it much but I reckon I'd survive longer than most of the sheeple.

 

1) Car usually full of gas, toolbox in the back.  House has plenty of tinned goods and I am a horder of bottled water.  Love that stuff.

2) Bought a bit of home-store gold bullion a few years ago (we're talking coins, not bars so lets not go nuts and think about burglarizing me.  You'd end up in my sex cupboard with stuff up your arse).

3) Can ride horses.  When gas runs out, it is four legs, not wheels.  Dump my car in the country near a stables, avoid the zombies, aliens, skellingtons, reptilians, NWO etc and ride into the moors with my SAS handbook and supplies ready to camp down and regroup.

4) This pussy country doesn't let us have guns but hopefully buy some off urban blacks in exchange for a gold coin.

My body is ready.

You need to have a stop at your local TA centre before you bug out, stock up on weapons and ammo, failing that police station. I was in a traffic jam outside the TA centre in Stockport the other day and found myself eyeing up how I'd get in once the zombies rise.

[Paul]

I reckon this sort of event is actually the most likely path to me being some sort of king.

Loathe as I am to give you any sort of encouragement, I fucking pissed myself at that. Still chuckling now, actually. Very good that, Stu.

[Paul]

I've got a good feel about the shit hitting the fan.  Don't really think about it much but I reckon I'd survive longer than most of the sheeple.

 

1) Car usually full of gas, toolbox in the back.  House has plenty of tinned goods and I am a horder of bottled water.  Love that stuff.

2) Bought a bit of home-store gold bullion a few years ago (we're talking coins, not bars so lets not go nuts and think about burglarizing me.  You'd end up in my sex cupboard with stuff up your arse).

3) Can ride horses.  When gas runs out, it is four legs, not wheels.  Dump my car in the country near a stables, avoid the zombies, aliens, skellingtons, reptilians, NWO etc and ride into the moors with my SAS handbook and supplies ready to camp down and regroup.

4) This pussy country doesn't let us have guns but hopefully buy some off urban blacks in exchange for a gold coin.

 

My body is ready.

The "urban blacks" will almost certainly be desperate to give you their weapons for a gold coin.

[Paul]

Problem being that you're not as hard as Steve McQueen, as skilled as Andy McNab or as smart as Roger Red Hat.

 

You'll be in the first 2% to die.

We can but hope...

[Paul]

You need to have a stop at your local TA centre before you bug out, stock up on weapons and ammo, failing that police station. I was in a traffic jam outside the TA centre in Stockport the other day and found myself eyeing up how I'd get in once the zombies rise.

Ooh, ooh, ooh!!! I feel safer already: we live literally 500 yards from a TA centre. Get. The. Fuck. In.  I'm having the pharmacy off second now; guns and trucks have just moved right up the list.

[Pony Princess]

The "urban blacks" will almost certainly be desperate to give you their weapons for a gold coin.

 

They can buy drugs with it, innit. They like drugs and bling, I'm all about the weapons.

 

In the news, a kid has died and family critically ill in a flooded zone.

 

CHOLERA OUTBREAK

 

It is happening.  Hope you guys are ready.

[cochyn]

World War Z began in a flooded area. Just saying, like.

[General Dryness]

They can buy drugs with it, innit. They like drugs and bling, I'm all about the weapons.

 

In the news, a kid has died and family critically ill in a flooded zone.

 

CHOLERA OUTBREAK

 

It is happening.  Hope you guys are ready.

 

You'll be all about the bullets when the people firing them realise you have a big bag of gold.

[Paul]

You'll be all about the bullets when the people firing them realise you have a big bag of gold.

That's urban blacks to you.

[General Dryness]

That's urban blacks to you.

 

If they're pointing a gun at me, their name is "Sir" regardless of race.

[Rico1304]

Get yourself to The Lakes, lots of empty space, plenty of fresh water and isolated housing. Lots of places to loot for essentials and plenty of farms for animals. Also, get yourself a JCB, tracks for squishing people and a bucket to wallop them. Also use it to dig defences, I've thought about this too much, I blame Walking Dead.

[Rico1304]

Watching Preppers on Netflix. Fucking mentalists