Saturday Jun 8:
Fuck all happening at the moment. The most interesting thing I saw today was something on Twitter that might have been complete bollocks for all I know. It got my attention though. Klopp was apparently invited onto the Graham Norton Show but declined, as he preferred to go on holiday instead.
Completely understand why Kloppo couldn’t be arsed with it, as he doesn’t get much opportunity to get away from it all and spend time with the family. Besides, he’s not really into all that celebrity jazz anyway. Still, imagine how fucking funny he’d have been on there. He’s the only manager with the personality to pull a show like that off.
Actually I tell a lie, my man Tim Sherwood could do it. If he had a job. And if he ever actually won something. Tell you who couldn’t pull it off. Pep, the boring bastard. He’d be whining about not getting credit for his treble and telling everyone about how big John Stones' balls are. Actually, that might make decent telly thinking about it.
Is this what the summer is going to reduce me to? Just talking absolute shite about nothing to fill space? Anyone makes a crack that it doesn't take the summer to have me doing that can fuck off.
Oh wait, something did actually happen today. Robbo scored a screamer for Scotland. It was like the shot he had in the final against Spurs only this one went in. Willing to bet here and now that he bags at least a couple like that next year. He’s finding his range I reckon. Imagine how good he’ll be when he adds a few goals to his armoury. We’re talking Balon d’or.
Sunday Jun 9:
England won the third place game against the Swiss after penalties. I didn’t watch it as to be honest I didn’t even know it was on. I wouldn’t have watched even if I had known, but I might have dipped in and out of it just to check on Shaq.
Trent had a good game, apparently. I only know this because Lineker was tweeting about him. Again. Lineker obsesses about Trent almost as much as Man City’s press office obsesses about the Reds.
In the final, Portugal beat Holland, which is a minor blow to Virgil’s hopes of pipping Messi. It shouldn’t make any difference either way really, but if he’d skippered Holland to this trophy it might have had an influence.
Bernardo Silva was named player of the tournament, much to the visible disgust of Ronaldo.
Look how happy “the leader” was when Bernardo got announced as the POTT pic.twitter.com/0Wovx7tZj7
— Gabs (@gabsique95) June 9, 2019
Maybe he is just a selfish, self absorbed, individual glory above the team wanker, or maybe he’s just playing up to that now and it’s all just some elaborate in-joke between him and his team-mates.
He pulls this kind of shit all the time. The hissy fit he threw a few years ago when Arbeloa nipped in front of him to score a back post tap in was sensational. Is he really this much of a diva or is he just winding us all up? I reckon it’s a bit of both, as that one today can’t possibly be real.
Meanwhile, one of his Portugal team-mates is hoping for a call from the Reds. Bruno Fernandez (who I mentioned a couple of weeks ago after he said he likes us better than City), is reportedly wanted by Spurs to replace Eriksen but he’s holding out in the hope that Klopp makes a move.
United want him too, but what self respecting decent footballer is going to join that circus when there are better offers on the table?
They are on the brink of signing that Welsh winger from Swansea and they’re being linked with Longstaff from Newcastle. They have no idea what they’re doing. They tried the “throw massive money at superstars” approach and it bombed spectacularly. So now they’re going oppo and doing it the “sign young and hungry players from unfashionable clubs” route.
It won’t work because they don’t have the structure (or manager) in place to make it work. It’s a long way back for them fuckers.
Monday Jun 10:
Last week was a bit mad on Twitter from when Carra retweeted the stuff I’d said about Spurs and Kane. Today was mad in a different way. I quoted a tweet from some Manc claiming Vidic was better than Virg, and I compared it to saying Simply Red are better than the Beatles. Someone replied by saying that Westlife had more UK number ones than the Beatles, and then one of Westlife jumped in and said “We don’t”.
Not gonna lie, it was pretty cool having one of the Westlife lads just randomly appearing in my mentions, but it's not like it was Abs from 5ive or anything. There'd be no living with me if that had happened. One day maybe.
Also today, the MEN ran a story on how Virgil’s ‘not dribbled past’ stat isn’t accurate because Leroy Sane successfully took him on. I don’t actually care if he did or didn’t, but it’s hilarious how much we’re in the heads of everyone connected to City.
Even funnier, Sane wasn’t playing for City when it happened. It was an international game. So, Van Dijk hasn’t been dribbled past for Liverpool, which is sound, as I don’t care what any of our lads are doing when they’re with their countries.
Wait, news just in. Harry Kane has apparently claimed that he did it too, but his bid for glory was thwarted when Opta had to break it to him that “dribbled on” isn’t the same.
Yeah yeah, I know I cracked that joke last week, but it’s a belter so I’m using it again. I’ll keep using it too, so you may as well get used to it.
Tuesday Jun 11:
So the streaker from the final reckons some of our players have been “sliding into her DM’s”. “I’m not revealing any names, but a couple of the Liverpool players did send me private flirty messages after I streaked the game. One sent some heart emojis and the other one a message saying, ‘I saw you at the game’. I honestly didn’t even know who they were until I clicked on their profiles. I didn’t respond though as I already have a boyfriend."
Ok, I’m calling bullshit on this as I reckon she’s lying her bare naked little arse off. If she is telling the truth though, who are the most likely suspects? I’m putting Curtis Jones at the top of the list as he seems like a proper little scouser. I don’t reckon any of the first teasers are pulling stunts like that as they’re pretty much all spoken for.
Big Joel looks a right smooth bastard and it briefly occurred to me that the “I saw you at the game” one could have been him , but then I remembered he’s not on any social media as he’s too smooth for that shit.
So in short, I reckon she’s lying to generate yet more publicity for her boyfriends shitty website. Apparently he’s made millions out of this little stunt, the pimping cunt.
No wait, it's Studge isn't it? That "I saw you" line is dripping with Studge I reckon.
Wednesday Jun 12:
AC Milan want Big Dejan. This is an interesting one because he’s on big money here and is pushing 30 now. Currently he’s fourth choice, so it would make financial sense to move him on. However, I can make an equally strong case for keeping him. We need a big squad, Gomez and Matip both have a history of injuries (as does Lovren, to be fair) so there’s every chance he’d get up to 20 games next season.
Additionally, he’s a very big part of the dressing room dynamic as he seems to be the butt of a lot of jokes and always takes them in the right spirit. He appears to be very well liked by the rest of the lads and Mo loves him.
If we were going to make a statement and go for De Ligt then I’d sell, but otherwise I’d keep him as there’s more to be gained by having him around than letting him leave.
Speaking of De Ligt, he’s reported to be close to joining PSG. I’ve got some strong thoughts on this. If he joins PSG then it tells me a lot about him. Everyone has been kissing his arse about what a great leader he is. That speech he gave after Ajax won the title went viral, as did the clips of him singing with the fans after their wins in Madrid and at Juve. I mentioned on here that I didn’t really get why he’s being lauded when he was about to leave after only a couple of seasons in the team at his home town club.
If he’d moved to us, City, Barca or Real then I don’t think anyone could blame him at all. However, if he swaps Ajax to go for the money in Paris then it doesn’t reflect well on him. If the move he really wants isn’t there this summer for whatever reason (Barca being skint, us not needing him etc) then stay at Ajax. Why the fuck is he leaving? He’s 19 years old, club captain, an icon of the fans, yet he’s apparently about to go and join the rest of the mercenaries at PSG. Maybe it’s just me, but if he makes that move I reckon it makes him a bit of a cunt.
Thursday Jun 13:
The fixtures come out and we start on a Friday night, which is shit. It’ll be fine if it’s a nice sunny evening, as it’ll almost feel like a spring European night, but this TV bullshit is robbing us of one of the best days of the season. There’s nothing quite like a sunny opening Saturday (or even Sunday) to kick things off.
In terms of the games themselves, we’ve got an easy enough start and a fairly tough finish. I looked at the run in and it was a bit concerning, until I remembered that we’re fucking boss and don’t need to worry about the likes of Arsenal and Chelsea. Then I saw City’s run in. Unless we’re ahead going into the last half a dozen games then forget it. The two games against them will decide it next year. Just like they did this year actually.
AC Milan want Big Dejan and for £25m we’d apparently let him go. I understand it, to a degree. He’s on 100k a week and is currently four in the pecking order. It would make sense to let him go and then either bring in a promising young talent to help with cover, or even go big on a De Ligt or Koulibaly, but I can make just as strong a case for keeping Lovren.
This time last year he was coming off an outstanding season and a man of the match performance in the CL Final. He was about to have a great World Cup. He’s an excellent defender, but he does miss too many games. However, he’s a massive part of the dressing room and seems to be at the heart of pretty everything that goes on (even if it’s often just him being the butt of the others lads’ jokes!). He’s a valued member of the squad and seems to keep Mo happy. I’d prefer we kept him, but we’ll see how this one plays out.
Meanwhile, Hazard is unveiled at the Bernabeu and the fans chant “We want Mbappe”. They’re the absolute worst aren’t they? Barca fans have a real sense of entitlement too, but Madrid are next level. I’ve grown to quite like Hazard over the past year or so and although it goes without saying I’m glad we don’t have to face him twice a year anymore (unless we get Madrid), I almost feel sorry for what may well happen to him there if he doesn’t immediately turn it on.
He’s not Ronaldo, he won’t score 50 goals a season for them. If he produces the same kind of goal tally he did at Chelsea he’ll get the Bale treatment from them. I’m not a fan of Bale by any means, but it still pissed me off seeing how unappreciated he was after all he did for them.
Still, players should be aware of all this before they move there so I guess whatever happens - good or bad - he can’t really have any complaints. Same as Coutinho at Barca really.
Friday Jun 14:
Suarez finally opens up on what happened at Anfield, and it’s glorious. What is it the kids say these days? Inject this straight into my veins…
"The days after back in Barcelona were the worst moments of my life and career along with the 2014 World Cup, I wanted to disappear from the world."
"I didn't want to take my children to school, everyone could see I was in a very bad way, I had days I didn't want to do anything, they were very difficult moments."
"I didn't see it because we are Barcelona and we thought we'd have two or three chances to score, but we became nervous, we gave stupid passes away, we didn't show the right attitude."
"When the first goal came we didn't know how to react, we knew we had really messed up. After the game in the dressing room no-one could say anything, there was sadness, bitterness and disappointment because we knew we'd given an awful image."
In situations like this, no-one captures the mood quite like this man.....
Tell you what else was great today. BBC changed a graphic on their website because City fans and Evertonians were crying about the original. What happened was they ran an article on the fixture list coming out, and they led with a photo of the Reds with the European Cup, rather than City with the league.
City’s fans went mad (all ten of them) and they were backed up by hordes of angry Blues, all bleating about preferential treatment for the Redshite. And the BBC backed down. I reckon its hilarious. This kind of shit doesn’t bother me at all because we’re European Champions, so who gives a fuck really. I love how we’re in City’s heads though. They’re completely obsessed, the fuckin' weirdos.
and that was the week that was…
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