Tuesday Jun 16:
As expected, the Government were forced into a u-turn on the meals for kids because of the pressure put on them by Marcus Rashford. This was always going to happen because that tefal headed cunt Hancock called on footy players to ‘do their bit’ and Rashford turned it back on to them. Great work by him by saying "well I've done this, so how about YOU do YOUR fucking bit".
Of course, Johnson initially claimed he knew nothing about it until that day and that it’s a great idea and the right thing to do blah blah blah. Great idea? Making sure that kids don’t starve isn’t a ‘great idea’, it’s just basic fucking humanity. Something Johnson and his ilk have no concept of as it doesn’t line their pockets.
Hancock then went on telly and got Rashford’s name wrong. So transparent this shit. Instead of people talking about why the government needed to be railroaded into making sure kids aren’t going hungry, now the discussion will be how Hancock called him “Daniel Rashford”.
This shit happens constantly. It’s all about deflections. Politicians these days are like Mourinho's Chelsea when Cole and Lampard seemed to score with th ball flying in off an opponent's arse every other week. Deflect. Deflect. Deflect. Get people talking about the unimportant things to shine the light away from the big fucking massively important issue that isn’t being dealt with in the manner it should be. And it works every fucking time.
Meanwhile, footy’s back tomorrow and I can’t wait. Not just me who’s excited about it though. Funnily enough, those same pundits who were so against footy coming back are now banging the drum about how excited they are. Rio Ferdinand for example. The same cunt who wanted footy scrapped and claimed that “Liverpool fans should think about people’s health” is now tweeting “Buzzing the @premierleague back this evening.... just sorting my Fantasy Football! Who’s going up top... Aguero or Aubameyang?”
How about going with “Null” and “Void” as your front two, you fucking hypocritical manc turd.
When they announced the fixtures and I saw that the first Saturday was basically wall to wall footy I was made up and envisaged just locking myself away in my office watching game after game. In reality what will probably happen is I’ll skip the first one because I’ll have to run the missus somewhere. I’ll catch a little bit of the second one before having to take my daughter somewhere. I won’t be arsed about the third one because it’s two shit teams. I’ll start watching there fourth one but then get bored and switch off because there’ll be something on Netflix or Disney+ I fancy watching.
Still, it’s great to have it back and for those of who who will have the dedication to watch all the games, I salute you.
I’ll defo watch City v Arsenal tomorrow because it’s going to take us one game closer to the title when Arsenal win. No, hear me out. Arteta knows City like the back of his hand and he’s had months to prepare his game-plan. The three months has also given them time to get everyone fit, as you know Arsenal always have an injury list as long as a pensioner’s lockdown shopping list (those of you who’ve been shopping for parents know). This will be the first and last time Arteta has a full squad to choose from, and with City not having any motivation get ready for Arsenal to shock the world.
I’m actually mildly excited about Villa v Sheffield United tomorrow too but I daresay that won’t last. It’ll be like when German footy came back and I watched 20 minutes of Dortmund’s game out of curiosity before I got bored and went in the garden. It’s highly unlikely I’ll sit through a full Villa game, especially knowing I’ll be watching Arsenal beat City afterwards.
Wednesday Jun 17:
Yeah I’m a dickhead. You’d think I’d know better by now, especially as under normal circumstances the only people with a lower opinion of Arsenal’s players than me are DT and Troopz. They might have held out for a draw if they hadn’t had to send in the clown, but they didn’t deserve anything as I don’t think they even managed one shot did they?
Arteta is so fixated on tightening them up at the back that they appear to have forgotten how to attack. Then again, when you’re leaving Lacazette on the bench for that Nketia kid you probably deserve all you get. Has Lacazatte shagged Arteta's cat or ran over his wife or something?
The other game was fucking dire. I managed to sit through an hour of it, although after about ten minutes it had been reduced to background viewing as I did some work instead. Yeah, it was THAT bad I chose to do some work. But yeah, footy is back which is great. I already know now that I’m only really going to be watching our games though, as well as the occasional other fixture that takes my fancy. Most of the other games I’ll just catch up on through MOTD, as I can’t be arsed watching shit teams in empty stadiums. I’ll leave that to Evertonians.
Also today, there was a rumour that we want to swap Naby for Ruben Neves. Of course it's bollocks and when do 'swap' deals ever happen except in the gossip columns? Even when they do, they don't. To all intents and purposes we swapped Kev Stewart for Andy Robbo, but in reality they were two separate transfers that just happened to be made by the same two clubs in a similar time frame. Players don't get swapped like Panini stickers.
This one is clearly just nonsense anyway. A lot of fans might have given up on Keita but Klopp hasn't and is unlikely to for another year at least. And why would Wolves do that deal? They've proved to be shrewd in the transfer market and have made some great signings. They aren't going to swap a top Premier League star for a player who is usually injured and isn't the most consistent when he isn't. What's tomorrow's bullshit rumour, a swap between Adama Traore and Shaq?
Speaking of bullshit rumours, the Echo are trying to talk us into a move for Ryan Fraser. I like him, or at least I did, but he's nowhere near good enough to even make our bench. He isn't as good as Harry Wilson and chances are we won't keep him, so why would we sign Fraser? The answer is we wouldn't, but the Echo has clicks it needs to accumulate I guess.
Besides, even if Fraser were good enough (he isn't) he's refusing to play for Bournemouth now because he's out of contract after this month. To me that puts him a pretty bad light and if I were a club looking at signing him that would make me pull the plug on it.
Thursday Jun 18:
Richarlison says Van Dijk is not even in the top three defenders in the world. HERECY!! The fucking nerve on this tit. What makes it even worse is, get this, he didn’t have Lovren in his list of three either. He went with Thiago Silva, Marquinhos and Sergio Ramos. I’m embarrassed for him to be honest.
Silva is brilliant and his performances in both games against us last season were as good as I’ve seen. Marquinhos I couldn’t even pick out of a line up, although I know PSG often play him in midfield, which you wouldn’t do with a top three centre back in the world. So that’s bollocks. As for Ramos? He was shit when he was good.
I’m serious. This isn’t because of what he did to Mo (although that’s why Richarlison picked him). It’s because Lovren was right about him. You can’t get sent off that many times, leaving your team a man short, and still be regarded as a world class defender. It’s common sense. The greatest defenders rarely if ever get sent off because they read the game so well they don’t need to make last ditch tackles or show how 'hard' they are by hitting people will sly elbows and shit.
Sergio Ramos is David Luiz with an evil streak and better PR. Stick him in that Arsenal side and he’d be just as much of a liability as poor old Sideshow Bob.
As for Richarlison, he isn’t even in the top three strikers in the city he plays in despite his dubious claim that “I’ve already dribbled past Van Dijk”. Yeah, he actually said that, which even if true (when did this actually happen? Does anyone know?) is hilariously lame. Still, the Blues will probably have that on the side of a bus soon. You think I’m joking, but I’m not. They’ve done worse.
Remember when Merseybus came up with the idea to have one of their buses commemorate Liverpool’s achievements and then another listing Everton’s? The Everton one had, amongst other things, “First club to install undersoil heating”. So yeah, “Richarlison once dribbled past Van Dijk (maybe)” would certainly find a place on there.
He’d do well to remember this piece of advice, which I believe was from Omar in the Wire. I don’t remember the exact wording but it went something like this: “If you come at the King, he’s not going to hear you if you’re in Nat Phillips’ pocket”.
Friday Jun 19:
James Pearce reveals that Klopp’s coaching staff have been ‘raving’ about Naby Keita. I’m not surprised as in the little clips from the training matches I’ve seen on LFCTV he’s looked dynamite. Probably him and Sadio have looked the sharpest. Does it really mean anything though? I hope it does, but we’ve been down this road before.
Every time he looks like he’s coming into form and is about to finally make his mark on the team, he picks up a stupid little injury that keeps him out 2-3 weeks and then the whole process begins again. I haven’t given up on him and there’s clearly a big talent there but I’m not getting my hopes up either until he can stay fit for an extended period of time until he actually proves he can. I’d probably start him on Sunday though. Not sure who I’d leave out for him, probably Fabinho I guess. Or Gini. Defo not Hendo.
Meanwhile, Roy Keane goes off on one about De Get (and to a lesser extent Maguire) as United were held 1-1 by Spurs. Now, to clarify, I’m not going to disagree with anyone saying Keane is a wanker and that all of this ‘rage’ is just something he’s doing almost as a character he’s playing. Whatever negative thing you want to say about Keane is fine by me. Defending Roy Keane is not a hill I'm prepared to die on.
That being said…. That was funny as fuck tonight. He just went off and although Evra initially wanted to pull him up he thought better of it and just let him carry on. Evra did step in eventually when Keane called De Sea the most over-rated keeper ever and insisted he should have caught a ball that he spectacularly tipped over the bar.
I’d say around half of what Keane said was accurate and the other half, although completely off the mark, was fucking hilarious. Put it this way. I’d rather watch Keane shouting and spitting than listen to Jermaine Jeans or Alan Shearer tell me that “the keeper will be disappointed with that”.
Meanwhile, here’s your weekly Chico….
“Not that left!” Stevie at his genius best. pic.twitter.com/FSFt25JVGq
— Dan Thomas (@DanThomasESPN) June 18, 2020
What a guy. I love him.
Saturday Jun 20:
Klopp lays into the government’s handling of Covid and compares it unfavourably with how Germany dealt with it. Here’s the thing, anybody who is even remotely surprised that Germany dealt with something better than a Conservative government led by the biggest clown in political history clearly hasn’t been paying attention. These fuckers are incapable of getting anything right, because common sense and doing the right thing is completely alien to them. The only things that come natural to them are self preservation and making money. That’s it. Nothing else. That's why we're right up there with America and Brazil as the worst hit nations.
This mess isn’t on Boris Johnson and the Tories though. He's just 'being Boris'. It's who he is and it's hardly a secret. This mess is on those who elected him, because it’s blatantly obvious what he is and has always been, but none of that mattered because all he had to do to get people's votes was not be Jeremy Corbyn and trot out his little "Get Brexit Done" mantra. If you needed this crisis to prove to you that he’s a fucking clueless, selfish, incompetent oaf then that’s on you. Mind you, what's even worse is there are some who STILL don't see it.
I like that Klopp isn’t afraid to speak out on these things, although he’s clever enough not to go too strongly because when you do that the message often gets lost. He seems to always know the right thing to say and the right time to say it. We’re incredibly lucky to have him and not just for his abilities as a football manager.
Meanwhile, Guardiola confirms that Leroy Sane has rejected a contract and will be sold at the end of the season if they can do a deal. Reading between the lines he’s more or less said that Sane wants to play for Bayern Munich and City can’t talk him out of it. So, there’s no chance that we could sign him which is a shame as remember last week when I said there are only a few players out there we could sign who would make me happier than if we brought Coutinho back? Well you could add Sane to that list.
Other than De Bruyne, I think he’s City’s best player and he’s criminally under-rated. I could never understand why he didn’t start more games as he’s fucking brilliant.
Elsewhere, best headline on news now today: Liverpool target Mbappe in £350m swap deal.
I almost have to admire how brazen that is. It’s like “yeah we know how utterly ludicrous this is but fuck it, let’s run it anyway”. I mean where do you even start with that? £350m??? It was on F365 so I had a little look and forget what I said about almost admiring it. They were quoting the S*n who apparently ran a story today that we were planning on sending Mané plus £200m to PSG to get Mbappe.
When you think about it, it’s actually offensive that some cunt is being paid to write that. Not as offensive as the shit that other cunts there are being paid to write, but still, it’s offensive.
There are other reports today claiming Klopp is ‘growing anxious’ about Mané not signing a new deal. Hold on, didn’t he sign one not so long ago? I’m sure he did, because I remember writing something about how it was worrying he hadn’t signed (whereas Salah and Firmino had), and about 10 minutes after I filed it with ESPN, LFCTV had Sadio announcing his new deal. So what’s this shit about then?
Ok, I just googled and he signed a five year contract in November 2018, so he has THREE FUCKING YEARS left. Honestly, I know times are hard for the press but if they continually make up this kind of shit then it’s best if they do go to the wall.
Sunday Jun 21:
Everton 0 L 0. Fuck that was bad. We should have lost but we didn’t because we’ve got the best keeper in the world and lady luck was on our side. And because Everton are shite and are as adept at winning derby matches as I am at ballet dancing.
The fake crowd noise was actually worse than the real Goodison crowd. Hate it, but as I watched the game on Pick TV I had no choice but to endure it, and I can’t complain too much about it because Sky did at least make the game free for everyone. It’s grim though. Almost as grim as Richarlison’s playacting. Cunt.
It’s stupid to make any snap judgements based on our first game in three months, but I’m going to do it anyway as nothing I’m saying here is based solely on this anyway. It’s about what’s happened before. We simply MUST buy a top quality alternative to Sadio and Mo because nothing we currently have is worth a damn. Minamino can’t play there, neither can Ox and while I think Origi definitely has some worth he’s being completely undermined by constantly being used out wide.
What the fuck is that about? How many times does Jurgen have to see him play there to know he’s miles more effective at centre forward. Origi is actually a pretty good striker and he knows where the net is. His finishing is very good and he’s got a knack for scoring important goals. So when he’s given a run out, let him play up front for fucks sake.
We looked a million miles off the pace today and I don’t think we’ll just flick a switch and start playing well again. We’re a team that relies on rhythm and sharpness and after three months off we have neither. There’s also the issue of how much (or how little) we’ll be impacted by not having fans there at home. No team has more of a symbiotic relationship with the crown than we do, so will Anfield still be a fortress?
I tell you something, I’m so fucking glad we built up such a massive lead because I genuinely don’t think I could cope with the next few weeks if this title race was close. We only need five more points, assuming City win all their remaining games, which they probably will. I totally misjudged that situation as I didn’t think they’d be that arsed about the games they have left.
Even if they aren’t fully motivated they’ll still win most of them easily because based on the games we’ve seen so far there’s just no intensity and these are like training games. And no-one is more suited to that type of game than City. I expect them to win every game, including when they play us next weekend. But we only need five points so thank fuck for that.
Meanwhile, on the rumour front we’re still being mentioned as one of the suitors for Arsenal youngster Saka. I just can’t see this happening as I doubt he’d go anywhere. Kids who are getting a game at the big clubs rarely move. Saka is getting a lot of playing time at Arsenal. Would he get that here? Doubtful, although there’s every chance he’d have started at left back today. I like him, he’s talented, but I won’t get my hopes up on this one.
Monday Jun 22:
City smacked Burnley around at the Etihad. No surprise there. They’ll beat Chelsea on Thursday too, but at least Chelsea might offer some resistance. Burnley were totally disinterested from the moment they conceded the first goal.
The Koulibaly link resurfaced today with rumours of a £60m bid that ‘insulted’ Napoli. It has to be bollocks as yesterday confirmed what we already knew. The priority if we’re spending big has to be a world class wide player who we can rotate in and out with Sadio and Mo.
Who that is I don’t know, but there’ll be someone out there who we can get and we need to do it. Koulibaly is fucking awesome but spending that much money on a position where we already have Gomez and Matip would be completely reckless and irresponsible.
And if there’s no-one who we can get at the right price, then fuck it, just get Coutinho back on loan. From what I hear the main stumbling block is Klopp and some of the players are still sore about the way he left. Fair enough, I get that completely. But unless there’s a better option out there then fuck all that shit and get it done.
Put it this way, he’s miles better than any other option we had to bring in for Mo yesterday. If there is a better option out there then great, I’m all in, but otherwise just get him back here.
Aldo agrees with me, he wrote a column today calling for the club to bring him back because it makes sense for all parties. So that’s Aldo and Stevie Nicol agreeing with me. Hmmm, right, yeah I see it now. Not done myself any favours there have I? All I need now is Dean Saunders and I’ll have the set.
Finally, Antonio Rudiger reckons he convinced Timo Werner to snub the Reds to sign for Chelsea. Ok mate, whatever. Fact is, Werner was hitching up his skirt and flashing his drawers at Klopp for months, but for whatever reason Klopp decided not to pursue it.
Maybe because he finally realised that Werner is just a Harrods Danny Ings. A little bit more high end than you can buy on the high street but more or less the same product at a vastly inflated cost.
…..and that was the week that was
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