That was the week that was (Jul 21-27 2020)

Tuesday Jul 21:

This trophy lift is gonna be shit. The lightshow and the pyro is a necessary evil as they’re just over-compensating for no fans being there. I get that, as you need to do something to cover up for the fact there’s no atmosphere and it’s all a massive damp squib compared to what it should be. But Coldplay? Getthefuckouttahere.

I’m not thrilled about Kanye West either but if that’s what the players want then fine, they’ve earned the right to choose whatever they like and I’m good with it. Coldplay though? No-one is choosing that, except maybe Hendo. I could see him having lots of Coldplay on his play list and that’s fine because it’s Hendo. Anyone else and I’d be disappointed in them though.

There’s a thing on the BBC website where you can pick your greatest ever LFC XI. I always struggle with these things, mainly because I overthink it. What formation are you meant to choose, because that has a huge bearing on which players you select. If it’s two up front then you’ll go Kenny and Rushy, but if it’s a three that changes things completely. What about the midfield? Wingers or a narrow three? 

There’s also the grey area between ‘greatest’ and ‘best’. For example, Luis Suarez walks into a ‘best’ selection for me but he’s nowhere near a ‘greatest’ one. Similarly, Alisson is undoubtedly ‘best’ but he isn’t yet ‘greatest’.

So, for what it’s worth, here’s my ‘greatest’ eleven…

Emlyn Hughes was probably the unluckiest not to get in considering everything he achieved (Tommy Smith would also be a strong contender). It came down to Emlyn or Carra but recency bias comes into it, plus the fact Carragher is second on the all time appearance list and that in itself is justification enough for selection. Same with Callaghan who gets in on appearances as well as being a great player and all round fucking legendary fella. There may have been greater players than him but no-one played more games for the two greatest managers ever so how could he not go in?

As for the ‘best’ eleven….

This one is much more difficult I think, as medals and longevity don’t really come into it. It’s just about the best players. Right back was the toughest call. I actually think Trent will end up as the best we’ve had by a massive distance but I won’t argue too much with anyone who says that right now Nicol was better, so it’s a toss up there. 

There’s loads of other truly great players who didn’t get in too. Fowler, Owen, Alonso, Mascherano, Molby, Whelan, Carragher, Hyypia, Mané, Salah and loads of others. I could have put some of them in depending on what formation I went with. Plus, the team you pick as the ‘best’ isn’t necessarily the one you’d choose if you needed to win a game. I’d back our current eleven to win a game against any combination of great players from the past because they are a slick unit and not just a load of randomly chosen talented individuals.

That’s why these things are so hard, because they are so arbitrary and there are all manner of different formations to choose from and each one opens up different options in terms of players. Yeah I know, I’m way overthinking this but I can’t just throw a load of names at it and say ‘that’s the best’. It requires more thought than that. 

One thing I would say is that our best eleven would smash the best eleven of anyone else other than maybe United. No-one else comes close.

Wednesday Jul 22:

L 5 Chelsea 3  I was wrong. The trophy lift was great, all things considered. It was never going to be how we’ve dreamed of it for all these years as none of us could be there, but I thought it was brilliant. I loved it and I didn’t even notice whether Coldplay was played or not. I’d say this was as good as it could possibly have been without fans, so great job by everyone involved.

As for the game, it was a cracker. We haven’t defined particularly well since the restart but at least we remembered where the net was tonight. Some thrilling football and memorable goals, not least the fifth that clinched the game. Andy Robbo is incredible. I could actually make a strong argument for him as Footballer of the Year because he’s brilliant virtually every week. 

He’ll never win anything like that because he’s a left back, but if I was arguing his corner the question I’d ask the naysayers is this: Who is better at their job in this league than Andy Robertson? Very few are even in the discussion, but he’ll never even make a shortlist of six because of the position he plays and because so many of his team-mates are also great and receive more recognition than he does.

I’m not even saying Robbo has been our best player this season (Hendo shades it for me) but just as he was last season he’s right up there with everyone else, whether he gets that public recognition or not.

Meanwhile, Mbappe says he’s staying at PSG for another year. Great news as maybe in 12 months time his value will be lower and we’ll actually have a pot to piss in. Maybe.

Thursday Jul 23:

I was thinking about last night and soaking up all the different coverage of it and one thing really jumped out at me. Graeme Souness, a man who is notoriously difficult to please, is just in absolute awe of Klopp and this team. He is. Every time he’s on Sky he’s raving about what this team is doing and singing the praises of Klopp. He’s actually like a broken record, he keeps going on about the consistency and how he can’t get over it, and when he had a chance to speak to Klopp that’s what he asked him about. 

I think it’s hilarious. Souness the pundit goes out of the window when he’s covering the Reds these days. And when he got to speak to Virgil he never even bothered asking him anything, he just told him how fucking great he is. This is Graeme Souness, a man who played in some of our greatest ever sides and who won everything. He’s notoriously hard to impress, yet look at him these days, he’s as much of a fanboy as any of us. It’s great and it’s as big a compliment to Klopp and his players as you’ll find because Souness is second only to Roy Keane when it comes to “everything now is shit, it was much better in my day”.

Another thing I noticed from the celebrations was how Klopp stood there with each individual player, cheering them as they took turns to lift the trophy. He lifted it himself with Lallana, which was a nice moment for both of them I’m sure. It’s when you see him right in the thick of it all that you realise just how different he is to other managers.

Footage emerged today of the spat between him and Lampard and it really didn’t portray Lampard in a flattering light at all. I was embarrassed for him to be honest, although we didn’t see exactly what it was that caused him to start kicking off. It was obviously something Ljinders did, which doesn’t surprise me as he’s a yappy little bastard on that bench and is often getting under the skin of rival managers. He’s like Scrappy Do, constantly yapping away and then being held back while Klopp has to sort it out. I love him though, he’s funny as fuck.

Lampard was telling him to sit down and Klopp was saying “he is sat down” trying to calm the situation. Then Trent scores and Ljinders is virtually on the pitch bouncing around and rubbing it in Lampard’s face again. Klopp had to tell him to get back in his seat!

The funniest part of it all was the reaction of our subs when Lampard says “first title you’ve won and you’re giving it the big ‘un”. You can just hear a collective, sarcastic “ooooooooh!” led by Milner and Ox. If Lampard was directing that at Klopp then it makes him look like an absolute clown. If it was Ljinders (which I assume it was) then I’m actually ok with that as this type of thing happens all the time on the touchline and it’s mostly fair game I’d say.

Not sure I’d be taking lectures from Lampard on TV afterwards though about winning with class and not being arrogant. One thing you can’t level at Klopp, his staff and the team is that they’re arrogant, because they’re the polar opposite of that. Can Lampard say the same about the Chelsea team he was so successful with?

Something else I was thinking about today was an interview with Pete Krawietz I read earlier this week where he was talking about what he did during lockdown. Basically he went through all of our games this season with a fine tooth comb looking at ways we can improve. He said he spotted some things and that they’ve been working on them ahead of next season. 

It’s this kind of thing that gives encouragement that we can still keep improving even without new signings. There’s room for improvement within this squad but nothing will change my mind that if we bring in one more top forward we’d be unstoppable.

Meanwhile, Birmingham have sold 17 year old Jude Bellingham to Dortmund and have retired his number 22 shirt. Apparently their reason for it is because he could have left for peanuts but he knew the club was skint so he signed a new contract to ensure they got a good fee for him.

I did wonder why we weren’t in for him and that might explain why. Clubs in England were probably in his ear telling him not to sign so they could get him for compensation set by a tribunal. For him to do that and ensure Birmingham got much needed cash for him is actually a class move from the kid.

So while I think retiring his shirt number is daft, I understand that they want to make a gesture to show their appreciation and I’d also say there are a lot more things to be riled up about than this.

Like Pep Guardiola for example. Crying again about the Player of the Year awards and saying that Liverpool players win it when Man City win the league, so a Liverpool player will definitely win it now that we have won the league. Apparently this is “an award for Liverpool players”.

We’ll just gloss over Raheem Sterling being awarded it ahead of Big Virg last year then shall we? Even though our man was in the top three for the Balon D’or he didn’t get the best player in his own league because a City player got it. They only finished one point ahead of us, whereas this year we’re about six weeks worth of fixtures ahead of City. Just sayin’ like.

This is just part of a wider issue with Guardiola and City. It gnaws away at them that no matter what they do people generally just aren’t that arsed because everyone knows they’ve cheated and it means very little. Like when they beat Watford 6-0 in the FA Cup Final and thought everyone would be singing their praises. No-one cared because they’re a nothing club outside of Manchester and their achievements carry no weight because of how they’ve gone about it.

De Bruyne will probably get it just because the LFC vote will be split between Hendo, Virg, Sadio and maybe even Trent, and if he does then you won’t get anyone from Liverpool crying about it as I doubt any of them really give much of a fuck about individual awards anyway (except Mo, he loves all that!).

Friday Jul 24:

Or maybe not! Hendo is indeed the FWA Player of the Season and no-one is more deserving. Made up for him because - in my opinion anyway - he’s been our Player of the Season and seeing as how we’ve been the best team by a mile, that makes him deserving. And that’s BEFORE you factor in all the other off the field stuff that seems have been taken into account. 

Clearly that counts for a lot because Marcus Rashford came third, and he’s not even been the third best player on his own bang average team. Focussing on what a top fella Hendo is and all that other stuff is actually deflecting away from the fact he’s been brilliant on the pitch. Not enough is being made of that.

Going back to the Guardiola comments though. I was irked by them but I wasn’t particularly angry. Today though a mate expressed a completely different take on why he was pissed off about them and it was something I hadn’t even really considered.

“Guardiola’s Hendo slight might be the thing he’s done that’s pissed me off the most. What kind of a cunt have you gotta be to be that disrespectful. Not to say “well done” to him and instead just deride him by saying Liverpool players always win these awards. Little prick.”

He’s right isn’t he? Anyone else, literally anyone else I can think of, would have just said “personally I think my player should win it but Jordan Henderson has been brilliant. He’s a fantastic professional and role model, so he’d be a worthy winner too”.

Imagine Klopp saying something that petty and snide if De Bruyne won it. Wouldn’t happen. He’d just say “Wow, what a player. Well deserved. My boys would have deserved it too but I love Kevin De Bruyne so congratulations to him”.

It’s perfectly fine that he thinks De Bruyne has been the best player in the league this year. He might be right, De Bruyne has been sensational, but don’t disrespect Henderson by being so petty and dismissive, you spoilt little cunt.

I’ve said it a lot recently but Guardiola is by far the worst twat in this league. It’s not even close. You can say Mourinho if you like but 50% of the shit he says and does is him playing a character. With Guardiola, he’s just a childish, petty, entitled, cheating, whiny little fucking bitch.

So yeah now I’m proper angry about what he said. Disrespectful, classless bald, platform heel wearing, short arse, CAS appealing nonce. Fucking hate him and his cunt club.

Also today, Klopp hit back at Lampard by saying “that’s not how to behave you big fat fuck”. I’m paraphrasing slightly. The jist of it was more “say what you like in the heat of battle and it’s fine, but if you continue it after the whistle then you’re being a cunt.” Which is fair I’d say, as I have no doubt Jurgen has come out with all sorts of shite during a game when his emotions are high. He never carries it on afterwards though. 

I hated Lampard for years and then for some reason I relented and started thinking he was alright. Seeing how he carried on the other night in that spat with our bench though, it was pretty revealing I thought. He’s one of those fake nice guys. Most of the time he comes across as a top fella but occasionally the mask slips and you realise it’s a front and that he’s actually a bellend.

In yet more news today, what about that interview with Lallana where he spoke about Hendo. Fucking hell that was powerful stuff. Really emotional. Genuinely choked me up it did. I was thinking “I defy anyone to watch that without getting emotional”. Then I sent the video to my mum, who regular readers will know is not a fan of Adam.

I won’t share the full response but needless to say she wasn’t moved by it at all and she ended her withering reply with “I was just surprised they didn’t get him a stair lift to go and get his medal”. Jeez. Let it go, Mum, for fucks sake!

Saturday Jul 25:

There was so much going on yesterday I forgot to mention that Lovren is joining Zenit for £11m. Good price that in today’s market. My gut feeling is we won’t replace him with a signing and that Hoever will be promoted into the squad, with Fabinho also providing extra cover there, so those funds might be used elsewhere. 

I’m just thinking aloud here, but with Lovren and Lallana off the wage bill and that cash from Zenit, that would surely be enough to cover a deal for someone such as Willian for example. I get that we don’t have money to go out and buy Havertz or Sancho, but I can’t see us going into next season without ANY new faces.

I’d also be well in favour of another Harvey Elliott type signing if that were possible. Bellingham would have fitted the bill nicely but for him helping Birmingham out, but there might be one or two other wonder kids out there we could look at bringing in, because the culture here now is absolutely perfect for talented young players.

Of course one of the people who played a huge part in creating that culture won’t be here. Lallana looks like he’s joining Brighton, and not Leicester. He seems like a good fit for how they play these days and Klopp has been effusive in his praise for Brighton this year. I’m sure I saw an interview with one of his staff recently too when they singled out Graham Potter and the brilliant coaching job he’s done there.

Meanwhile, Andreas Pereira says he doesn’t like Milner and Van Dijk. Pereira, for those of you who don’t know (I’m guessing 50% of you) is one of numerous little nomark scrotes that currently plays for Manchester United. This is what he said "I don't really like that guy, Milner. And to tell you the truth, I don't like that guy, the defender, Van Dijk. He is Marrento, man (this means cocky, apparently). Even the way he plays is kind of arrogant."

The way Virg plays IS arrogant, because all great players play with arrogance. It’s because they’re better than everyone else and can do things no-one else can. So yeah, when Virg is heading the ball to himself and leaving the hapless striker wondering what happened, it is arrogant.

I don’t know why he singled out Milner though. Probably because he’s been crunched by him a few times.

There was a report in the Guardian today about a fella being found guilty of the attack on Owen Jones. The reason I bring this up is because of the headline, which read “Far right Chelsea fan jailed for attack on Owen Jones”. Now far be it for me to defend Chelsea fans, but just what the fuck does who he supports have to do with anything in this case? It’s not an act of football hooliganism, it’s just a cunt doing something cunty.

Even if he lived on the doorstep of Stamford Bridge it would still be irrelevant who he supports, but the guy is from Portsmouth. It’s a bad shithouse move mentioning what football team he supports. Why does football have to be brought into everything? I’m sure he likes other things too, but “far right Eastenders fan” or “far right pasta lover” won’t get as many clicks, will it?

It’s easy to dismiss this just because it’s Chelsea and they do have a number of right wing loons that follow them, but it’s still grossly unfair and it could just as easily be Liverpool being dragged into the next grisly story they report. 

Finally today, I read Lampard’s explanation of what happened the other night and I’m mostly in agreement with him. It’s clear his only real issue was with Ljinders and he’s not backing down from his annoyance with him, which I’m fine with. He denied he has any issue with Klopp (he was very complimentary about him) and he dismissed suggestions that he was unhappy about any of the celebrations.

It’s pretty much what I thought the other night. That ‘giving it the big ‘un’ comment was defo directed at Ljinders and I’m fine with that because I have no idea what Pep did to elicit that kind of response, but I’m sure he defo did something because he is a spiky little bastard. Like I said, he’s Scrappy Do.

So I’m gonna go back to not hating Lampard. Until next time anyway.

Sunday Jul 26:

Newcastle 1 L 3. Boss that. Made up with how we played under the circumstances. It was always going to be a bit of a slog with the front three all on the bench but in fairness to the replacements we were 2-1 up by the time the cavalry arrived.

Divock was brutal but then he scored. Ox did fuck all but still had an assist. I thought Minamino was lively enough and the big regret I have with him so far is he's never really had a chance to play the false nine with Sadio and Mo flanking him. That's the only way to judge him properly I think.

Speaking of Minamino though, how awkward was he at the celebrations the other night? I felt sorry for him as the language barrier is obviously a bit of a problem for him. He speaks German so he can converse with Matip, Shaq, Lovren and Keita but it ust be really hard to get involved in the dressing room banter when you've got no idea what's going on.

My cousin Al said it reminded him of the episode of Only Fools when 'Gary' went to live with Del and Rodney and didn't have a fucking clue what was going on. He's nailed it there. Taki had the same confused look on his face, and 'Gary Minamino' has a nice ring to it. Might start calling him 'Gary' from now on.

Elsewhere today Villa stayed up and Leicester choked away a top four spot. Not going into any of this in too much detail because it will be covered in the round up, but Villa staying up has opened up a whole can of worms now because of that Hawkeye incident against Sheffield United. I don't think Watford have much of a claim as they'd still be down even if that goal had stood (although that one goal may have led to another and another, we'll never know), but Bournemouth aren't going to just accept this with so much money at stake.

It's a legitimate beef but this is why that whole thing should have been sorted out at the time during that particular game. The technology wasn't working, everyone could see it was a goal and had the VAR official stepped in and just given the goal then this situation would never have arisen. Now it'll get messy and the Premier League only have themselves to blame, as they should have addressed it at the time, even if that meant replaying the game.

Monday Jul 27:

Kloppo wins Manager of the Year and Ferguson reveals that he was woken up at 3.30am by Klopp telling him "we've won the league". This is one of the greatest things ever. Just imagine how that went down. We all saw how shitfaced the gaffer was that night when the title was clinched. We saw the video of him dancing in his little white hotpants! Eventually he must have reached a stage where he thought "I'm gonna ring Ferguson for a laugh".

I have questions though. How does he have Ferguson's number? He must have got it from Kenny, right? What did he say to him? Did he just sing "We are the Champions"? Did he put any of the players on? Did Kenny also have something to say? What did Ferguson say? Was he more pissed off than when Mike Phelan popped that balloon and scared the bejesus out of him? 

Sadly I doubt we'll ever get that answers I want.

And sure enough Bournemouth are considering legal action about the hawkeye incident. I don't blame them but this is a case they can't win.

Meanwhile... goodnight, sweet prince. Dejan officially leaves and Mo gives him a nice touching tribute on LFCTV. I’m a little surprised as Mo usually completely downplays their friendship just to bust Lovren’s balls. I fully expected him to respond to “do you have a farewell message for Dejan” with “bye then”. But he didn’t, and it was nice. Then he went on instagram and said to him “don’t text me too much, I’m on vacation”. Classic Mo. 

It was time for Dejan to go. Definitely. He could have gone this time last year but I wasn’t in favour of that and was glad it didn’t happen. Now though the time is obviously right for everyone. He leaves with a Premier League winners medal, we got a good fee for him and everybody is happy. 

The best part about him leaving is I won’t get riled up reading the abuse sent to him from the “LFC fam” on social media. They’ll have to find someone else to pick on now, especially as Hendo has made himself virtually untouchable. It’ll be Milner next. “You’re too old, fuck off out of my club and back to Leeds”.

Telling yer, if I ever see that then I’m rounding up a posse and going after them. 

…..and that was the week that was