That was the week that was (Aug 16-20 2021)

Monday Aug 16:

Hendo’s contract is almost agreed. A few finer points need to be finalised but it’s three years with the option of a fourth depending on whether he meets certain criteria. That seems like a very club friendly deal to me so Hendo has presumably compromised. Whatever has happened though I’m just glad it looks like being sorted. He’s the captain, he’s fucking hugely important and you have to get this done as it’s a terrible look if you can’t.

Also today, the club put out more information about how to use the new ticketing system. At the risk of sounding like an old fart here, I hate this. Just let me scan my fucking card like I used to. This is not going to be any quicker. If anything, it will be slower in a lot of cases as people have to mess about when their screen has locked and they have to reload everything. With the card, you just put it in the reader and went in. It was as quick as it’s possible to be, so why do we have this shit now? Coz some tit in a suit floated it out there in a ‘brainstorming session’ probably.

I suppose this can only be to make life much more difficult (impossible maybe) for the touts, which is a good thing for the most part, but are Thomas Cook or whoever the ‘official travel partner’ is still going get their share of tickets they can sell at a fucking huge mark up? They're the real touts. At least the ones outside the ground put a shift in and have to work for their ill gotten gains.

Ben Davies joins Sheffield United on loan. I actually thought this had gone through last week, but whatever. It has now. The logic behind this seems to be that an impressive season in the Championship will increase his value to more than it is now, and the loan fee has already more than covered what we paid for him. I don’t particularly like this kind of cynical business but the way the game has gone it’s smart for us to look for any little edge we can get. It could end up being quite profitable

Meanwhile, over at Barca its revealed their debt is over a billion quid. The fella who has taken over now says the issue wasn’t the huge contracts they gave out to everyone to stop them following the Neymar route, it was how they wasted the money they got when Neymar left. Basically they’re trying to blame Coutinho and Dembele for the massive amount of shit they’re in, which is a) not true, and b) an absolute cunty move.

They’re giving Coutinho Messi’s number ten shirt now too, which smacks of setting him up as the fall guy. Why the hell would you do something like that if you wanted him to do well? He should refuse to take it, but his ego will probably prevent him from seeing the wood for the trees.

Tuesday Aug 17:

KarlHeinz Rumenigge says he could see Haaland at Liverpool. He definitely thinks he’s headed to England next summer and sees us as a good fit. I’d say the opposite. I don’t see any way that happens because of who his agent is and therefore what the wage demands will be. I also don’t see Haaland’s dreadful face fitting in. He just doesn’t look like a Liverpool player because of that face. It’s the kind of face that makes you hate someone. It’s a Man United face. Except I don’t think he’ll end up there, not least because of his dad’s links to Leeds and City. He’ll end up at City, especially if they don’t get Kane this summer. Which is a real shame as he’s fucking phenomenal, despite that face.

Meanwhile, Robbo is training again. Not with the rest of the team yet, but he’s out there running, and that suggests he’s virtually healed because you don’t take chances on a bum ankle. So if they’re letting him run, he’s almost fully fit. And seeing as how we’re only on Tuesday that would put him in contention for the weekend. Personally I’d hold him back another week and unleash him on Chelsea. Let Kostas have another go this week.

Thiago and Hendo will be available though, but Thiago is probably going to have to wait a few weeks to get back in I reckon. Hendo isn't going to be left out though, he's virtually undroppable these days. It's mad that it was only what, two years ago, that he was being rotated and wasn't guaranteed a spot. Now it's him, Fab and one more.

Wednesday Aug 18:

Man City launch their third kit and just like everything they do it’s an absolute fucking embarrassment. Everything about that club just makes me cringe. Somehow they’re worse than Everton, which shouldn’t even be possible.

Clarkson joins Blackburn on loan and Woodburn is going to Hearts. Neither of them are making it here but they’re both quality little players and it would be great to see them forge good careers for themselves. Clarkson just puts me in mind of Pedro Chirivella. Boss little player who did well for us in the limited chances he had, but to make it here you need to be at a level close to Fabinho, and that’s a fucking ridiculously high bar as that guy is phenomenal.

Bit surprised Stevie didn’t go for Woodburn, but maybe having won the league he now thinks he’s too good to be shopping for loan deals. Woodburn’s loan deals have generally been massive failures and Hearts doesn’t seem like the kind of move that’s going to do him any favours either. Clarkson on the other hand is going home. He’s from Blackburn and supported them as a kid.

Lots of rumours flying around about Sarr today. He wouldn’t be my first choice. Or second. Or third. Or anywhere close actually, but I’m basing that on who he was the season before last. If he’s polished his game since then, sure, get him on board. I like him, always have. Pretty sure I even gave him ‘my boy’ status at the last world cup, but like the Fabinho thing, the standard of our forward line is sky high. To be able to compete with them you need to be pretty special. The Sarr of two years ago was way too raw, but I haven’t watched him since then. If Edwards and Klopp have and they wanted him, I’m good with that.

I don’t think this will happen though, just because he’s another African which would mean he’s away in January. Part of the reason we need to sign another forward is because Sadio and Mo will miss some time (but not actually that much, thankfully) with their countries. So if we bring someone in, my expectation would be that it’s someone who won’t be jetting off for AFCON.

Here’s a thought though. What if Klopp is thinking that Kaide Gordon could be an option for those few games the lads are away? What if he’s actually even better than we think? He might be tearing shit up in training, like Harvey. Maybe not, but not signing a midfielder is going to be great for Elliott’s development, maybe it’s the same with Gordon, even though he’s a year or two younger. 

Thursday Aug 19:

So because the club know the new ticketing system can’t be trusted, they’re giving fans ‘staggered entry’ times for this Saturday. So it’s a 12.30 kick off and they’re asking some fans (me included) to be in as early as 10.45am. This is fucking outrageous. I meet up with the lads in our spot outside the Kop and we usually go in 10-15 minutes before kick off. We haven’t seen each other for 18 months but because some bright spark came up with a shit idea now we’re expected to be going in at all random times. It’s a joke and it’s taking the shine off our first game back now. Instead of being buzzing about it, I’m just pissed off.

Klopp has supposedly asked Woodburn to put his loan move on hold until the end of the month. No idea if that’s true, or if it is, why he’d do that, unless it’s something to do with registering a certain number of home grown players. Could it be we’re trying to sign someone who meets that criteria but we need Woodburn to stay until it’s done? Presumably that would be Bowen? 

It’s not going to be Harvey Barnes anyway. He’s been a rumoured target for a while but he just signed a new deal with Leicester. Good. Fuck him, the diving bastard. 

Sean Dyche insists “the best form of defence is attack” against us. By attack he must mean time wasting, fouling, generally spoiling the game and then hoping to nick something from a set-piece. It’s not even a criticism, they play to their strengths and I’m fine with that. If they tried it another way they’d finish bottom. So I’m fine with what they do, I just don’t like when they pretend they’re something they’re not. Dyche is not coming here to attack, he’d be fucking stupid to do so and he’s not stupid. He’ll do what they did last season and the season before. They’ll do what they do and hope to get lucky with us not taking our chances.

It won’t work though because there is not a chance in hell we aren’t winning on Saturday.

Friday Aug 20:

Had a mad dream last night. I hardy ever dream, or at least I never remember them if I have, but this one stayed with me and now I’ve got that feeling where I’m all sad because it’s not actually true. It was great while it lasted though. I was walking down the street and I saw Luis Suarez. But this thing was, we knew each other. Really well. In fact, I was his old striking partner. I saw him and yelled over. He looked at me, a little confused, like he didn’t know me. And then I pointed at my hair and said “It’s me! I’ve had my hair cut”. And then there was a look of recognition and joy on his face and we hugged warmly.

We were having a little chat and then I said he needs to give me his number so we can stay in touch properly. Bizarrely, I then said “I’ve got Messi’s number too so I’ll set up a three way group chat for us” Luis was like “you know Leo?” And I went “yeah we speak quite a bit”. Absolutely no idea how I knew Messi, but I think with Suarez it was either that I’d replaced Sturridge in his life, or he’d replaced my boy Emilio (Argentinian lad we used to play footy with) in mine. 

What happened after that was a bit sketchy but there was a family coach trip and I do remember having to climb ladders to get to somewhere that we me and Luis supposed to be going together, and my socks came off as I was climbing and that was stressing me out a bit. 

The weirdest part was that in my semi-conscious state I remember thinking “oh I’ve dreamt about Suarez again”. As I said, I can never remember dreams but my gut feeling is that this is actually a regular thing and that in the dreamworld me and Luis are good mates. 

No idea what any of it means, but I know why Suarez was on my mind before I went to bed. Well, he’s on my mind quite a lot anyway, but this time it was because I watched this video before bed and it made me think “if Suarez was a goalkeeper….” Just watch this, it's the greatest thing ever....

Proper shithousery. pic.twitter.com/j5RJDXAq5N

— Football Shithousery (@FootyRustling) August 19, 2021

Klopp’s press conference was fairly uneventful but it was interesting to hear him talk of how Hendo and Thiago are nearly ready so others need to take opportunities. I assume he means Keita and Ox. Poor Fab is out tomorrow after a parental bereavement but you’d think that for next week against Chelsea we’ll have him, Hendo and Thiago as the three. For that not to happen someone else is going to have to do something exceptional to make themselves undroppable. 

I can’t see that happening but Ox and Naby are basically up against each other really. Opportunities are going to be limited in the big games and for those two it’s about being the best option from the rest. Milner, Jones and Elliott are in that conversation too though. 

I reckon we’ll twat Burnley. We owe them big time after the last two seasons and with the crowd back in I just think we’ll steamroller them. Then again, I’d say that no matter who we were playing.

….and that was the week that was.