Was that a good weekend or not? We went top without kicking a ball and then extended the lead by a point, so that was good, but it was bittersweet when you concede three times and draw at Brentford.
United got beat, so that’s good, and City won, which ordinarily wouldn’t be but they were playing Chelsea so this was probably the one occasion when them winning was preferable to them losing.
For some reason City’s win at Chelsea wasn’t first on Match of the Day. Not sure us drawing or United getting beat is a bigger event than two of the three title favourites squaring off against each other but I don’t particularly care. Just thought it was a little odd. Anything that City will see as a sleight against them is fine with me though.
Marcos Alonso didn’t take the knee. He stood up, pointing to the anti-racism badge on his sleeve and he was singled out by BBC and Sky for it, so I guess he got what he wanted, whatever that might be.
As for the game, Chelsea had success against City in recent years by playing it cagey, sitting in and hitting on the break with pace, so I can see why they approached the game the way they did. It felt like they should have been more on the front foot though as they were favourites to win this and if they’re the team people are making them out to be then they should have taken the game to City and made a statement.
They didn’t though. City dominated most of the game even if they didn’t create too many clear chances. Jesus put them in front with a deflected shot but it was well deserved.
Chelsea didn’t really do anything. Lukaku had a goal ruled out for offside but that was it. Prior to the game I would have preferred a City win or a draw. Chelsea winning seemed to be the worst result for us as I see them as a bigger threat. Having watched it, I now wish it had been a draw. If we beat City this weekend though then this result is fine.
I only ever watch United when they lose - or occasionally if it's a draw - but that hasn’t been happening anywhere near enough considering they’re not really that good. They just have so many talented individuals that it’s inevitable one of them will pull something out of the bag for them but as an actual team they always look shite to me. But then if I’m only watching them when they lose I suppose that’s only natural.
Those of you that do watch them. Am I wrong here? Are they better than I’m giving them credit for or are they just an average team with massively above average talent?
Anyway, they lost to Villa and it was fucking hilarious.
United had more of the ball but Villa had the two best chances of the first half through Target and Watkins. Target missed the target and Watkins hit it straight at the keeper.
United had chances too but Greenwood had clearly decided he wasn’t passing to anyone and kept going it alone. This is what happens when you sign Ronaldo and Sancho. The likes of Greenwood and Rashford will be feeling they need to score every game to have any chance of playing.
Villa took the lead with a couple of minutes to go when Hawes headed in a corner. Solskjaer said it was offside and shouldn’t have counted and he’s got a point. Watkins is backing into De Gea and he’s actually still in physical contact with him as Hawes is about to head the ball. Leicester had two goals disallowed for considerably less than that a week ago when Barnes was doing similar. They need to make their fucking minds up about this, but for this one instance I’m glad they got it wrong.
United needed a hero now and Mike Dean stepped up to the plate. That’s not a pen in a million years. The defender’s arm isn’t by his side because he doesn’t think the ball is heading his way. It’s on the head of a United player but he misses it and then it hits the defender. Joke of a decision. Feels like Mike Dean is always giving them pens, the beady eyed little twat. In fairness, I might just be confusing him with EVERY OTHER FUCKING REF IN THE LEAGUE.
What happened next though made it all worth it. Absolute gold. Shithouse of the season is the Villa keeper, that’s just not going to be topped so crown him now. I’m talking about the good kind of shithouse here, not the horrible cheating scumbag kind. What Martinez did before that penalty was fucking gold. He sees Fernandez is taking it, which is kind of a big deal when Ronaldo is on the pitch, and he immediately saw an angle he could use to put Fernandez off.
He starts pointing at Ronaldo and is repeatedly telling him “you should be taking this. Why are you letting him take it? You should take it”. Ronaldo can’t do anything about it, probably because he’s in full agreement, but other United players are furious and are trying to get drag him away. Fernandez is stood there, getting smaller and smaller by the second. I swear you can visibly see him shrinking from view. It’s amazing.
Eventually Martinez goes back in his goal, his work complete. He’s already won. Fernandez has lost his fucking mind now. He always takes his penalties with a little hop, step and a jump, and he never blasts them. This time he just runs up normally, smashes it as hard as he can, and it flies over the bar. Martinez then turns to face the United fans and does a little gyrating dance. He deserves some kind of award for what he did there, because the whole thing was fucking sensational.
Arsenal sold him to keep Leno, and then spent £30m on Ramsdale. Good job Arsenal. That’s exactly why you’re fucking shit. Martinez is a good keeper but more than that, he has balls and character. No wonder he didn’t fit the bill for Arteta and Arsenal.
Leeds v West Ham was decent. Raucous atmosphere, chances at both ends, just a really good game.
Raphinha fired Leeds ahead midway through the first half but by that point both sides could have scored two or three as it was proper end to end stuff. Raphinha then hit the post with another great effort and Fornals missed a one v one just before half time. The Leeds keeper made three brilliant stops in the first half but it looked like he’d blundered after the break when he flapped at a cross and Soucek scored.
The keeper lay on the floor holding his face while Leeds players appealed against the goal. I thought he was being a typical shithouse keeper, milking a bit of contact and rolling around. Then I saw the replay and Antonio smashed him in the face with his elbow! So yeah, no goal and I’m surprised VAR actually needed to tell Kevin Friend to go and take a look. They should have just told him “it’s defo no goal, no need to even look at this one”.
Bowen equalised but it is rightly being put down as a Firpo own goal as that shot was going miles wide. Antonio won it in stoppage time with a fucking brilliant goal. Lovely stuff that.
Leeds played well but West Ham were better and deserved the points. Cracking game though. Still no wins for Bielsa’s side and there are some strong Sheffield United vibes coming from them now.
Norwich lost again as Ozan Kabak conceded a pen at Goodison. Not sure about that one. Clumsy tackle, yes, but Allan was already on his way down before contact. I’d have been screaming for a pen if it was us though so I can't complain too much.
Norwich had plenty of the ball but had no cutting edge and Doucoure added a second to put them out of their misery. Norwich deserved to lose for wearing their away kit when there no colour clash. Fucking weirdos.
Everton have got that thing going on that they had last year, where they were hanging around at the top of the table despite everyone (except their fans) being able to see that they’re fucking shit and knowing it would never last. They dropped like a stone last season and they’ll do so again. Because they’re fucking shit.
Rafa is really pulling out all the stops to impress them though. Every fucking item of clothing he wears now is some shade of blue. He’s driving a blue car too apparently. He’s always been in tune with supporter feeling as he’s got a team of people who monitor that shit. I’ll call it now. He’s going to have a blue crimbo tree. It’s nailed on.
Jamie Vardy headed into his own net from a corner to put Leicester a goal down at home to Burnley, but he made amends with a typical Vardy goal and then gave it the beans to the Burnley fans who’d been giving him shit.
Burnley regained the lead with a beauty from new signing Maxwell Cornet who volleyed home in some style. He missed a chance to make it 3-1 and then he went off with a pulled hammy.
Vardy equalised with five minutes left. He celebrated in front of his own fans before going back to halfway and then pointing at his name to rub it in with the Burnley fans. Burnley thought they’d won it right at the death through Chris Wood but VAR ruled it out as he was a fraction offside. Vardy will have been the most relieved man in the stadium there after all the trolling he’d been doing of the away fans.
Usually he likes to do a play on whatever the nickname is. Howling at the Wolves fans or pretending to be an eagle at Palace. Bit tricky with Burnley though, but he could always have got one of his team-mates to take the knee in front of him while he booed furiously.
Watford against Newcastle was surprisingly entertaining. Longstaff’s 25 yard curler broke the deadlock. Lovely strike but Ben Foster was channeling his inner Pickford there. He should be saving that. Apparently that was Longstaff’s 8th goal from outside the box.
Mad that, I can only remember him scoring against the Mancs and to be honest I’m not even sure if that was his brother. In fact I think it was, as it sparked Goldbridge’s sensational “it’s not even the real Longstaff, it’s the B-Tech Longstaff”.
He should have had a second when a bad pack pass put Saint Maximin clear. He probably should have scored himself but made a mess of it and had to tee up Longstaff instead, who volleyed over an empty net from 12 yards. The B-Tech version would have buried that.
Actually, point of order here. I don’t like the implication here that B-Tech is somehow an insult. That’s the highest educational award I got, and even then I only just scraped a pass. So let’s not be disrespecting B-Techs here.
Foster made saves to deny Willock, Almiron and Joeli Nton, who I assume must be a new signing from Ligue 1 or something.
Sarr headed Watford level and Josh King won it late on. Except he didn’t. It was offside, which was funny because he went absolutely fucking nuts when he scored that goal. The shirt was off, he was in the crowd, it was fucking bedlam. But he was a good yard offside.
See, VAR has done its job there as it was the right call, but that was a great moment ruined for King and the Watford fans. If he’d seen a flag he wouldn’t have done that. And next time it happens the fans might not go quite as mad either, and then the goal will stand and they’ll have missed out. I don’t think I’ll ever accept VAR on offsides as a good thing, but I’m probably in a minority now as its here to stay and most people have just accepted it.
Newcastle had a glorious chance to win it in stoppage time when Saint Maximin released Murphy through on goal but he tried a pathetic cheap that Foster saved easily. Murphy just shit himself, basically. Awful effort. Longstaff said after that “Murph” is the best finisher at the club. Fucking hell, what does that say about the others? If I’m Calum Wilson or Willock I’m seriously insulted by that.
Newcastle are having a rough time of it but they’ll be alright because their forward players are good. They should have won this easily really.
Onto Sunday and if I’d have had to pick a winner from Southampton v Wolves beforehand I wouldn’t have had a clue. Both of these teams should be better than they are. Southampton are streaky as fuck and Wolves just hardly ever win despite creating loads of chances every week.
Jimenez got the winner with his first goal since coming back from that horrific injury. Cracker it was too, made up for him. Southampton’s centre backs were pitiful though, which is nothing new. Jiminez sat both of them down on their arses within a second of each other before rolling it past the keeper. The names change at the back for the Saints, but the incompetence remains.
Jiminez had a great chance to make it 2-0 either by scoring himself or rolling it to Traore for a tap in, but he delayed too long and hit the keeper. Proper shite that, Traore was rightly fuming. Other than that Jimenez was fucking boss though.
The North London derby was a nightmare for Spurs. Bloody hell, they were shambolic. Three wins to start, then three defeats on the bounce since. This was by far the worst. It was fucking woeful. They actually made Arsenal look like a decent side.
Smith Rowe converted a cross by the outstanding Saka to put Arsenal in front but Son went close to an equaliser after a fine solo effort. Other than that it was all Arsenal though in that first half and Smith Rowe teed up Aubamayeng for the second. Spurs were all over the fucking place and Saka made it 3-0 when Kane challenged him in the box but the rebound fell nicely for Saka.
That goal was disgusting. Look at where the Spurs players are, it’s a joke. Kane chases back and at the point he makes the tackle the only Spurs players deeper than him are the two centre backs, who were left all alone. Where the fuck are the rest of them? Lazy cunts.
Kane is getting a lot of shit and the easy conclusion to jump to is that he’s mentally checked out and isn’t putting the effort in. Maybe he has, but he was the one chasing back to make a block when virtually no other fucker was, so I’m not sure he’s the problem.
Spurs were much better after the break and Kane could have had a hat-trick but it just wasn’t his day. Son did pull one back with ten minutes to go and Moura then hit the post as Arsenal remembered they were Arsenal and started to creak like a rusty barn door in a hurricane.
That Spurs team doesn’t look actually too bad on paper. The back four looks shite, but the midfield and attack look pretty good. They shouldn’t be this shit with a forward line of Kane, Son and Moura.
Nuno is a defensive coach who appears too scared to play defensively because it’s not “the Spurs way” and because they hated Mourinho’s brand of football. I thought he was a strange appointment and they should have gone for Graham Potter, and now I’m convinced they should have. Nuno is a nice fella but he’s not going to last five minutes there the way Spurs are playing.
Arteta on the other hand, is a preening little tit. Pep with a lego head. Arsenal are smelling themselves now after winning a few games. There’s a gutless, embarrassing loss in the pipeline, don’t be in any doubt of that.
Finally, Monday night. Brighton could have gone top with a win at Palace but that’s a proper tough game for them as they hate each other so much. No-one even remembers why they hate each other, they just know they do. Something about Alan Mullery back in the day and then someone from Brighton having a shit on the dressing room floor at Selhurst Park. Whatever the reason, they hate each other.
Palace had the better of the chances and will feel they should have won, but at least they stopped Brighton from going top so that’s some consolation for them.
Zaha scored from the spot after Trossard felled Gallagher but Ayew missed a glorious chance to wrap it up late on and that proved costly as Maupay’s lobbed finish got Brighton a point in stoppage time.
They’ll probably never have the chance to go top again although there’s a slim chance it could happen this weekend if we draw with City, United draw with Everton and Chelsea fail to win at home to Southampton. I say slim, but there’s no chance because we’re defo beating City. Fucking can’t wait.
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