Interesting enough weekend overall. Most of our rivals won but Spurs lost. Looking at all of the weekend's fixtures beforehand I’d have defo taken that before ball was kicked, so it’s a win for us.
Shame Bournemouth couldn’t have taken something off Chelsea though. For a while it looked like they might. Eddie Howe’s lads were standing toe to toe with them and with better finishing would have taken the lead. They wasted a couple of great chances and ultimately it cost them. Wilson ballooned a good opportunity and Ake put one miles over the bar from about three yards out.
Chelsea eventually broke the deadlock through substitute Pedro’s deflected shot from 18 yards. Hazard wrapped it up when he blasted the second from a tight angle. Begovic has to look at himself there again (he was shite last week too) as it was really close to him. Yet another one of those instances where a keeper insists on using his hands when he could have just stuck a foot out and made an easy save. One of my pet peeves that.
This Chelsea thing is bothering me. I hoped that we could write them off this season while they bedded in a new manager but here they are with four wins from four. It’s not like they did much in the transfer market either. They can fuck off with this creeping up on the rails shite they do. Appointing new managers and immediately winning the league isn’t how it’s meant to go you knobheads.
It’s be the most Liverpool thing ever if we overhauled City this year only for Chelsea to win 38 games on the bounce and take the title. Their midfield looks strong with Jorginho and Kante in there. Jorginho isn’t the most diligent when it comes to tracking runners, but Kante does the work of two or three players so it doesn’t matter too much. I’m just glad they don’t have a centre forward or they’d be a massive threat. They might be anyway, time will tell.
City bounced back from their draw at Wolves last week by beating Newcastle at the Etihad. The scoreline was a lot closer than anyone would have expected, particularly as it took them only eight minutes to make the breakthrough. Really good goal from Sterling, who has started the season looking sharp.
Often you’d expect an early goal to open the floodgates, but the mentality of some of the lesser clubs seems to have changed considerably in recent years. Scoring against them used to make them come out and be a bit more adventurous. Now when they play the top sides they’re more than happy to just keep the score down.
Guardiola’s team selection reflected what he knew he was going to get from Newcastle. Fernandinho was the only genuine midfielder in the team with five attackers ahead of him. Makes sense really, most of these shit teams don’t even want to attack even when they’re a goal or two down, so why worry about them?
It backfired on him though when Newcastle launched a rare attack and scored from it. City just didn’t have enough bodies back to deal with it when Rondon won a look ball and found Kennedy down the left. Yedlin flew forward from right back and it was left to Jesus to track him. He saw the danger and did his best to stay with the runner but Yedlin is like shit off a shovel. He arrived at the back post to turn in Kenedy’s cross and stun the Champions.
The goal came too early though. The only chance Newcastle had of holding onto the draw would have been if they’d equalised in the last five minutes. Unsurprisingly, City regained their lead, albeit through an unlikely source, as Walker lashed in a low shot from 25 yards. Newcastle just stood off and let him line up the shot. Probably just thought, ah it’s only Kyle Walker.
What do I always say though? The sun even shines on a dog’s arse somedays. You can’t give anyone that kind of time and space to have a shot, not even Kyle Walker.
Newcastle’s keeper single handedly kept the score down after that, making a string of good saves. He’s good him, don’t know where Rafa plucked him from but he’s been a good signing.
Brighton and Fulham played out an entertaining draw at the Amex. Glen Murray won an early pen but for some reason he didn’t take it. Gross stepped up instead and the keeper made a save.
Schurrle then put Fulham in front after a delicious little lobbed pass by Seri. Mitrovic made it 2-0 when he mugged Dunk and then scored at the second attempt after his initial shot was saved by Ryan.
Murray got Brighton back in it when he swept in a Knockaert pass. He then equalised from the spot after Mitrovic tried to bring a high ball down on his chest and ended up handling it instead. He was incredulous at the decision but the linesman was looking right at it and had no choice but to flag.
Like almost every other handball you see though, it wasn’t intentional. Mitrovic comes across as being thick, but he’s not THAT thick. It was a complete accident, so that means there’s no intent. His arm wasn’t in an ‘unnatural position’ either, so by the letter of the law does that not mean it shouldn’t be a pen? I mean don’t get me wrong here, I think it’s a pen all day, but I’m just curious as to how that fits into the rule?
Anyway, it ended a point apiece but neither will be especially happy about it. Brighton will be hoping to win home games against fellow strugglers, while Fulham would have probably taken a point beforehand but it never sits well when you blow a two goal lead. I’d expect Fulham to have a better season than Brighton but if Murray keeps rolling back the years then who knows.
Moving on, and Wilf Zaha was missing for Palace and we all know what means. Palace didn’t pick up a single point without him last season and they haven’t won any without him this season either. Ings and Hoijberg got the goals as Southampton recorded their first win. They could even afford the luxury of my boy Charlie Austin missing a pen.
Two goals in three games for Ingsy now. He looks sharp as fuck. Made up for him, especially as he’s at his boyhood club. Hope he scores 30 this season, he deserves it.
At the opposite end of the scale is Benteke. The arse has fallen out of his game completely. It’s inexplicable. He’s like the striker equivalent of Joe Hart. Cut down in his prime with no real explanation. It’s totally unfathomable how he’s suddenly become utterly shit and can never score.
There’ll be some of you saying he’s always been shit but that’s just not true. He wasn’t a good fit for us and we should never have signed him, but his goals kept Villa up for two or three years and it’s not a co-incidence that when he left they went down. It wasn’t that long ago he was keeping Lukaku out of the Belgium side too. Yet look at him now. Shane Long is like Ronaldo in comparison to Benteke.
Meanwhile, West Ham lost again. In stoppage time, at home, to newly promoted Wolves. Four games, four defeats. Not getting my hopes up yet though, Palace lost their first seven last year and still survived comfortable.
They didn’t play well against Wolves but they had their chances. Rui Patricio made an unbelievable save to keep out Antonio’s header and then another one (with his face) to deny Arnautovic.
At the other end we saw the miss of the season by Jimenez. There’ll be worse sitters missed, but few will be squandered in such embarrassing fashion as this, as he kicked the ball with his right foot, blocked it with his left foot and then just collapsed in a heap. Not quite Jon Walters overhead kicking into his own face, but it’s up there.
Substitute Adama Traore got the only goal of the game when Neves robbed Sanchez and played it into space for the speedster to run onto and score. Shearer was ripping into Cresswell on MOTD over that, but I’m not sure what else the full back was supposed to do? All the effort in the world is not going to make you run faster.
Traore blew by him like the road runner. Cresswell saw what was happening, he knew he couldn’t stay with him so he tried to trip him up, but Traore was so fast that he couldn’t even foul him. The blame for that goal lay with Sanchez losing the ball cheaply and exposing everyone else.
There are some situations where Traore is virtually impossible to stop. He’s quicker than anyone in the league and he’s strong as fuck too. If he’s got space to run into then nobody is stopping him. His end product was too erratic the last time he was in the Premier League and that’s why he’s not at a top club, but Wolves paid a lot of money for him so maybe he’s developed in the couple of years he had in the Championship. Worth keeping an eye on him this year I reckon.
Huddersfield took the lead at Goodison when Billing headed in from a corner. Calvert-Lewin equalised although he shouldn’t have even been on the pitch after going right over the top of ball in a wild challenge. The Huddersfield lad saw it coming and got himself well out of the way, otherwise he could have been badly hurt.
Really can’t be arsed with Everton at all. They aren’t even significant enough to root against anymore. Just a team full of average nobodies managed by an average nobody. Not good enough to be on my radar, not shit enough to keep me interested in them in case they go down. That’s why they’re last on MOTD virtually every week. No-one gives a fuck about Everton. They exist in their own sad, bitter little vacuum.
Onto Sunday now, which threw up some surprises. Not least Cardiff finding the net. I should have seen that coming though really.
Me (every week since the first game of the season): “Cardiff won’t score a goal all season”.
Arsenal: “Hold my beer”.
Not only did Arsenal allow Cardiff to score, they allowed them to score two. Fucking hell Arsenal. Joking aside, Cardiff might not manage two more goals between now and Christmas.
Emery has been trying to get Cech to become a ball playing keeper. May as well try to teach a dog how to play chess. It’s not happening. I feel sorry for Cech as he looks uncomfortable as fuck in every game. He was almost caught out badly twice in the opening stages and it’s only a matter of time before he’s seriously embarrassed by someone.
Mustafi headed Arsenal in front from a corner and Lacazette almost doubled their advantage when he hit the post. Then out of nowhere Camarasa lashed in the equaliser in first half stoppage time. Cardiff’s first goal since April.
Aubamayeng curled one in from the edge of the box to restore Arsenal’s lead after the break, but Cardiff hit back again with a nice header from Danny Ward. Lacazette hit the winner when he blasted one past the keeper at his near post. Easy to point the finger at the keeper but that ball was travelling and it was high. It flew past his head before he could even raise his arm.
Arsenal deserved the win but they continue to look massively flawed. It’s going to be a long season for them I think.
Is there a more disheartening sight as a football fan seeing Danny Welbeck coming on for your team? It even disheartens me and I’m actively wanting Arsenal (and England) to lose. He’s just the absolute epitome of average.
A mate of mine back in the latter days of Heskey’s time at Anfield got so fucking fed up of seeing Emile plod around that he decided if Heskey started he would stay in the pub and not even walk up to the ground, and any time he came off the bench he would immediately get up and walk out. He stuck to it as well. I remember we were playing United at Anfield one year, and Heskey was brought on as a sub. I looked down towards the Paddock and saw my mate get up and walk out.
Anyway, the point of that story is that if I was an Arsenal fan I’d be sorely tempted to do that any time Welbeck was on the pitch.
Cardiff have a player the commentator kept calling Bobby Reid, but the name on his shirt clearly said something else. What the fuck is this shit, I’m thinking. I was going to lay into him but thought I’d better do a bit of research first. He’s got Decordova-Reid on his shirt because he wanted to have his mum’s name on there. I guess I’ll allow it. Reluctantly.
Last but not least, Spurs losing at the weekend was an unexpected bonus. Watford succeeded where United could not, and the Hornets are matching us and Chelsea win for win at the moment. Good for them. It won’t last, but the longer they can stay above City, United, Spurs and Arsenal the better.
Spurs took the lead in the most fortuitous of circumstances as Moura’s cross smashed Doucoure in the chest and sneaked into the bottom corner. They never really got going though and Kane was unusually quiet.
Watford kept plugging away and my boy Troy equalised with a good header from a set-piece. Cathcart did the same not long after after in the space of a few minutes Spurs had gone from being in front to trailing. They never really threatened to get a goal back either, Watford were pretty comfortable.
Deeney has started the season looking really sharp, but typically described himself afterwards as ‘a big lump’ who is difficult to play against. He’s right, but he’s under selling himself as he’s far better than that. His exact quotes was: "We're big lumps, we cause problems. People don't like that"
Somehow that was translated into a series of "Deeney says Spurs don't like it up" press articles. If he wanted to say that, he'd say it. Just ask Arsenal.
I’m saying nothing negative about Spurs because we play them next, so don’t want to do my usual and tempt fate too much.
Last and very much least, Flat Track Lukaku put Burnley to the sword at Turf Moor as United recorded a much needed win. They played quite well and deserved the points. Hart kept the score down. He played really well and even saved a pen from Pogba. Good for him. Maybe there’s still hope for Benteke after all.
Fat Jon Moss was terrible though. As usual. Rashford’s red card was a fucking joke, and I’m not saying that just because it was funny, which obviously it was. All bias aside, I don’t know how it’s possible to look at that incident and come to the conclusion that Rashford was the aggressor.
Bardsley started it by kicking him after the ball had gone. Rashford was understandably not happy and went head to head with him, but he didn’t shove his head forward or anything. Bardsley shithoused it up and complained, before doing the exact same thing only in a far more aggressive manner than Rashford had. Rashford was sent off for nothing, while Bardsley did enough for two reds but escaped with a yellow. Fat Jon Moss, ladies and gentlemen.
It didn’t matter much as United held on easily enough even with ten men. In fact, Lukaku should have added to their lead and gone home with the match ball as he ran them ragged. He said afterwards that Mourinho is a much different person behind the scenes than he is with the media.
Makes a change someone other than Mourinho himself saying nice things about him. He’s been banging his own drum all week, the sad insecure bastard.
“I am at one of the biggest clubs in the world, but I am one of the greatest managers in the world”. “People who know me, like me”. Fucking hell, turn it in you self absorbed wanker.
Self praise is no praise I always say, and considering I’m the wisest, most perceptive man on the planet I’d say that counts for a lot.
Must say, I’m quite enjoying Burnley being shit again. Don’t know how long it will last but it’s nice not having to listen to Dyche banging on about little old Burnley upsetting the odds. Going out of Europe might see them get back on track over the next few weeks, but hopefully not.
Finally, a plane flew over Turf Moor during the game calling Ed Woodward a ’specialist in failure’. Nice to see Jose’s putting that huge salary to good use anyway.
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