Klopp hates the 12.30 kick offs on Saturday but there’s a lot to be said for winning the early game and then just sitting back and enjoying the other fixtures without any real pressure. If they win, whatever, we’ve already won so it’s not like we need to worry about matching their results, but if they drop points, happy days.
City and Chelsea both won and I’ll get to those in due course. I want to start with the other top four side though. At least they were top four before they were leapfrogged by Brighton and Spurs. I only watch United when they don't win so having seen the score I was looking forward to this one on MOTD.
Leicester haven’t really got going yet this season, mainly due to the defensive injuries they’ve had. Johnny Evans was back for this one though and he stabilises everything back there. Soyuncu looks great when he’s next to Evans, but take Evans away and Soyuncu is so bad he looks like he should be playing centre back for United or Arsenal. He’s been a mess this season.
As for Evans, it’s funny really when you consider that he’s still better than pretty much any defender United have had since they sold him. Varane will probably prove to be the exception to that rule but maybe not as he's never fit.
United hadn’t really done anything and Leicester had made all the running, but then out of nowhere Greenwood lashed one into the top corner from 25 yards. This is what they do. They just rely on moments of quality. Leicester had been putting together all kinds of nice little intricate training ground moves and then United go ahead when someone just blams one in from miles out.
Greenwood is their best player. I hate those ‘combined eleven’ things as they’re a load of bollocks, but if I’m picking a Liverpool / United one then Greenwood is literally the only player I’d even be considering for a place (he wouldn't get in, but I'd think about it). None of the others are even close, except maybe Sancho but that’s based on reputation rather than anything else. Greenwood though, he’s sensational. The twat.
Leicester continued to make all the running and deservedly levelled through Tielemans. Lovely finish after that Iheanacho cunt robbed the ponderous Maguire. Maddison and Tielemans were running the game and kept finding space behind the United midfield, which was Pogba and Matic. There’s no chance in hell Solskjaer fields that pair against us. It’ll be Fred and McTominay as usual.
Soyuncu made it 2-1 from close range after sub Patson Daka had a shot saved. Again, look at Maguire though, the big fucking statue. In fairness to him he wasn't fit and was rushed back too soon, but this is what he does most of the time anyway. How bad must the rest of their defenders be if they need to rush this big gormless dope back when he's not fit?
United equalised with a long ball over the top that Rashford raced onto and then buried. Hilariously though, within seconds Leicester were ahead again as right from the restart they went straight up the pitch and that loser Ayoze Perez teed up Vardy to shin one home.
Daka then wrapped it up in stoppage time with a back post tap in from a corner. United aren’t good dealing with set-pieces at all and hopefully that’s something we can capitalise on this week. A Matip winner would be nice.
Daka has started like a runaway train. He followed this up by scoring four in a Europa League win in midweek. It’ll be interesting to see if he’s any good as he’s a player we were strongly linked with before he went to Leicester. I hope he does well, not least because it will limit the minutes of Iheanacho, meaning I don't need to be reminded of what he did every time I fucking look at him.
Pogba’s interview afterwards was… I don’t even know how I’d describe it as I don’t really care. “We need to change something” he said, while clearly just not looking at all arsed about what’s going on there. Why would he though? He’s running down his contract to either go to PSG or Real Madrid so he doesn’t give a fuck. Maybe if Solskjaer gets the push and United offer him enough cash he’ll sign, as he’s one of those new breed of ‘superstar’ players who are more arsed about their endorsement deals and having a high rating on FIFA than they are about maximising their talent. See also Neymar.
As I said last time, these are strange times for United who only ever seem to be one bad result away from mutiny. They’ll be ticking along nicely but as soon as they have a bad result all hell breaks loose and it’s all “#OleOut.
It happened again in midweek when they found themselves 2-0 down to Atalanta. They came back to win the game, just as they’d done in their last CL home game too, but the knives were out massively at half time. That was a good result for us I think. I’d rather face them when they aren’t completely desperate and under massive pressure to get a result. If they’d lost to Atalanta they’d have been really dangerous this weekend. They are still dangerous, but they’re under a bit less pressure after that comeback and I feel better about that than I would if they’d lost.
I’m taking nothing for granted this weekend because we’ve been so bad at that stadium for so long that form and class doesn’t really come into it. We’re a vastly superior team to United but there have been plenty of times in the past when it’s been the opposite and we’ve still been able to turn them over. They’ve got a frightening amount of talent in that squad and that’s what they rely on. They aren’t well coached, they aren’t particularly well organised or hard to play against, but they’ve got Ronaldo, Sancho, Fernandez, Pogba, Greenwood, Cavani and Rashford, all of whom can produce something brilliant out of nowhere.
So while I can laugh at them having their pants pulled down by Leicester, don’t take that as me dismissing them ahead of this weekend as I’m not that stupid or cocky. I can say Manchester United are shite, but that doesn’t mean I’m saying that they aren’t capable of beating us this weekend, because they absolute are if we turn in our usual Old Trafford stinker.
There is a lot of talk now about whether United are even good enough to make the top four. I’d say that Leicester are probably the only threat to them on that front, but Brendan’s side always seem to get bogged down with injuries and just miss out. I don’t see anyone else posing a threat to United for fourth though.
I enjoyed them losing and I also got a kick out of what happened at Villa Park. I have no love for either Villa or Wolves and would have taken pleasure in either of them losing. I don’t really have a preference but Villa were at home so them losing meant more disappointed fans, and then there was the way they lost. Hilarious.
They played really well and led 2-0 courtesy of goals from Ings and McGinn. Saiss pulled one back with ten minutes to go, Coady added another soon after and then Neves won it with the last kick of the game with a wickedly deflected free-kick. So fucking funny. Any time Villa fans are left upset is cause for celebration. Knobheads.
Traore was brilliant. He might have scored the goal of the season (if you discount anything scored by Mo of course) when he ran from inside his own half past four challenges, but his finishing is just horrible. He just goes for power every time and it went straight at the keeper. If he could finish he’d be incredible, but he can’t so he plays for Wolves. He ran Villa ragged though.
Brentford gave Chelsea all they could handle and were really unlucky to come away with nothing. Chilwell got the only goal of the game with Chelsea’s only shot on target (Brentford had seven) but Chelsea’s keeper was their best player by a mile and he managed to keep Brentford out. He was helped by the woodwork and defenders clearing off the line too. Brentford are fucking good.
Burnley had a good win this weekend when they avoided conceding their usual five at the Etihad. Just the two this time. City’s opening goal was well worked but Bernardo would have been offside if Tarkowski had a brain. What the fuck is he doing dropping back onto his own line like that instead of holding the line with the rest of the defence? Shite that was. Fair enough doing that when your keeper is out of position or if you’re covering a side of the goal he can’t reach, but he just dropped back to where Pope was, and when he made the save Bernardo was there for a tap in.
Burnley actually caused City some problems, which never happens usually. McNeil released Cornet but he shot straight at Ederson. Brownhill then shot wide when he should have hit the target. City eventually extended their lead with a thumping De Bruyne finish but 2-0 feels like we've made up three goals on them. Then again, we only put five past Watford whereas City usually bag eight, so that's evened itself out.
Leeds’ bad start continued as they lost at Southampton, who finally picked up their first win. Broja got the only goal of the game. No idea who he is, never seen him before, but it was a nice goal that was really well made by the lively Redmond, who was at the heart of everything good Southampton did. He’s the new Andros Townsend him. There are four or five games a season where he looks like one of the best players in the league, but the rest of the time he’s just average at best.
* just checked and that Broja is on loan from Chelsea. Of course, oui.
Leeds are missing my boy Bamford while Raphinha was also unavailable after starring for Brazil. There is a bad whiff of Sheffield United about them so far this year. I think they'll be ok when my boy is back but it's clearly going to be a relegation battle for them and they won't be scaling the dizzy heights they did last season.
Unlike Brighton, who could have cemented their grip on fourth with a win over basement dwellers Norwich. They couldn’t find a cutting edge though and had to settle for a goalless draw.
Brighton wanted a pen when Maupay went around Krul and took a tumble. It looked like a dive on first view and Krul went mad and was trying to drag the forward up off the floor, presumably so he could put him back down again properly.
The replay showed there was some contact on Maupay’s foot and then he stumbled over. He had an open goal if he’d stayed on his feet so I don’t think he dived, but it just didn’t look like enough contact to give a foul. It probably was though.
Trossard hit the bar with a volley and Lallana had an effort saved as Brighton did all the pressing, but Norwich missed an open goal when Sergeant was too casual with his finish and allowed Duffy to get back and clear.
Pukki somehow missed when he dinked over the keeper but into the side netting, and he was later denied by a great last ditch block by Dan Burn. That was probably the moment when Norwich knew it wasn’t their day. Will they win a game this season? Hopefully when they play Newcastle.
Onto Sunday now and the Moyes Derby at Goodison. West Ham were by far the better side and should have won by more than the one goal really. Football throws up some mad shit at times doesn’t it? Imagine telling a Blue a few years ago that they’d be at Goodison cheering for a Benitez team to beat a Moyes team. That’s the life of an Evertonian though. Miserable as fuck.
Everton were shite and West Ham were much, much better than them. Calvert-Lewin and Richarlison were both still missing, meaning Rondon was leading the line once more. My cousin Al said of Rondon “he looks like he should be wearing a Hawaiian shirt” and that’s the best description of him ever. When he quits playing, he'll become a big fat cunt and be harrassing women at poolside bars, wearing a Hawaiian shirt and sipping drinks with an umbrella in them.
The only goal of the game was scored by Ogbonna from a corner that Everton hotly disputed. Rafa was talking bollocks afterwards about a foul on Pickford. No chance. Antonio jumped early and although he’s obviously a few inches taller, Pickford can use his little arms so that almost negates the advantage the Hammers man had. There’s no foul, and Pickford got the last touch, despite his predictable tantrum when the decision went against him.
He’s only been there five minutes but it’s already clear that Demarai Gray is too good for Everton. He could definitely play for a top half team. West Ham might even look at him as that’s a nice step up for him. Alex Iwobi on the other hand, he might genuinely be the worst player in the league. Useless.
Moving on now, and I don’t think I’ve ever been wanting a Spurs win more than I did this weekend. Even when they played City in the CL semi a few years back I didn’t want them to win as much as I did this weekend. And they did, thankfully.
Newcastle went ahead inside two minutes though. How sickening was it seeing that Staveley twat and the rest of that ownership crew all celebrating like they’ve been fans their whole lives. Honestly, I’m so fucking repulsed by this whole thing it’s hard to even get it across.
I know it’s obvious I’m full of contempt just from reading this, but however disgusted you think I am based on this, magnify it by a hundred and you still aren’t close.
Thankfully Spurs levelled quickly through Ndombele and then my boy (for one week only) Harry Kane bent his run perfectly to stay onside and then lobbed the keeper. Come on you Spurs!
My other boy (again, for one week only), Son, made it 3-1 with a close range finish from a pinpoint Kane cross. Lovely move that, Moura and Ndombele were involved before Kane and Son took over.
Is Ndombele the hardest player to get a handle on in the entire league? He’s either dogshit or fucking sensational.
Then the thickest player in the league came off the bench and picked up two quick yellows to leave Newcastle a man down. How did the home crowd react as Shelvey trudged off in shame? They chanted “We want Brucey out”. I mean, we know they want him out, but they chose THAT moment to give him pelters? Shelvey was thick as fuck before Bruce arrived and he’ll be thick as fuck long after he’s gone.
What he did was a disgrace but instead of letting him know, they took the low hanging fruit and went after Bruce. They should make Shelvey manager actually as he’s the living embodiment of that fucking crowd. Thick cunts.
I hope Newcastle don’t win a game all season, the pathetic, sad, embarrassing cunts. Absolute shower of bellends. They were every bit as bad as I said they’d be and then some. Just the absolute fucking worst. And this is only the start.
Hopefully we won’t see them with tea towels on their heads anymore after their owners asked them not to. It’s “offensive” apparently. A lot of things seem to be offensive to them don’t they? Homosexuality and feminism to name but two. Freedom of the press being another.
They’ve sacked Bruce now. Hardly a shock. He’s despised up there despite having a virtually identical record to Benitez, who is idolised. No wonder the Saudis targeted them. The most impressionable, easily manipulated thick cunts in the country. God I hope they go down.
Finally, Monday Night Football. Vieira back at Arsenal as his Palace side took on the Gunners and so nearly went home with the points.
Aubameyang’s sharp finish broke the deadlock but the longer the game went the better Palace got and the more edgy Arsenal became. Benteke equalised with a really good finish and then Eduoard made it 2-1.
Arsenal pushed hard for an equaliser but it looked like Palace would hold out until they didn’t clear a corner and Lacazette blasted home a loose ball with the last kick of the game.
Had a quick look at some Arsenal Fan TV vids after the game and you had the kind of ing and yang that I love about it. There was Ty’s one, entitled “Where was VAR? It was a disgrace” and then there was Troopz “How can we not beat Palace in four years blud!”. Tremendous.
Ty’s complaint was that McArthur wasn’t sent off and he’s got a point. That was incredible. Funny as fuck, because he just booted Saka as hard as he could and somehow escaped a red card. Saka was injured and had to go off. Mike Dean was looking right at it and gave a yellow, and as Ty said, where was VAR? Unbelievable.
Palace were really good though. Energetic and clever in their pressing. They were just picking the pockets of Arsenal’s midfielders and I’ll hold my hands up here and say I was way off about Vieira. I had him down as the odds on favourite to win the sack race but you can already see he’s improved Palace.
Whether he can just dog out the kind of results Hodgson did remains to be seen, but the way they play is much better and they seem to be improving each week. I actually quite enjoy watching them, which is not something I thought I’d be saying.
Vieira will have had mixed emotions after this. Returning to his old club and almost getting a result only to be denied late on. He said afterwards “Yeah it was so close but we have to learn fr…..” zzzzzzzz.
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