Steve Bruce, he’s got a beautiful head, he’s got a beautiful head, he’s got a beautiful head. What a guy. What a result. Good old Newcastle eh?
I’d been following the game on the way to Anfield and when news came through of De Bruyne’s late screamer, it was a case of ‘ah well, never mind, still eight points clear if we beat Brighton’. I was stood outside the Kop when I heard a cheer coming from the Albert that could mean only one thing; Newcastle had equalised.
I would quite happily have hugged Steve Bruce at that moment and I won’t even say what I’d have been prepared to do to our old mate Jonjo.
Leicester may be our nearest challengers but every point dropped by City is huge. Eleven points is a big gap and will take a lot of closing, but anyone dismissing them needs their head testing. If the gap gets to 14 or 15 then maybe I’ll relax, but last season cut deep and I’ll be the last one to arrive at Man City’s funeral.
Fair play to Newcastle though, they aren’t scared of City are they? They were one of the few sides to beat them last season and now they’ve come from behind twice to snatch a draw. It’s funny really, because all I do is rip Newcastle and Wolves fans, but along with us, those two teams have done more to slow City down than virtually anyone else over the last couple of seasons.
What makes Newcastle’s record against City more impressive is they always seem to concede first and then come back. Last year they came from behind to win, this time they twice came back to grab a draw.
Sterling put City in front as the ball ricocheted off four players before landing perfectly for him to find the bottom corner. Newcastle hit back immediately though as Almiron found Willens and he lashed one in the bottom corner. Almiron looked all emotional as it was his first assist apparently. I knew he hadn’t scored yet but to not have had an assist either is just shit, as he’s played 25 games or something. I don’t know how that’s even possible.
As you’d expect, City had chances but they weren’t exactly peppering the Newcastle goal. Dubravka made a couple of decent saves but was eventually beaten by that De Bruyne thunderbolt. Shades of Tony Yeboah about that. They always look better when they go in off the bar.
Then up stepped the Redmen to save the day. Javi Manquillo won a free-kick and when the ball was rolled back across the edge of the box, good arl Jonjo lashed one into the corner. The only way that could have been better is if Big Andy had come off the bench to score the winner, but that didn’t happen because he’s fucking injured. Again.
While City were dropping two points and falling further behind, another of the chasing pack were faring even worse. A little over a week ago Chelsea were within eight points of us. Two successive defeats later and they’re just a spot in our wing mirror now.
Losing at home to West Ham was a real shocker, as they haven’t been beating anybody for months. Mind you, I have been saying that their biggest problem is that wiseguy keeper who keeps throwing them in.
Pellegrini finally dropped him and went with former Red David Martin instead. He’s 33 and this was his Premier League debut having spent his entire career either on our bench or in the lower leagues. He kept a clean sheet, broke down in tears at full time and then climbed up into the stands to celebrate with his Dad, Hammers legend Alvin.
Lovely scene that, nice moment for them both. Admittedly, if he wasn’t a former Red I might have been less moved by it and might even have called him a bit of a fanny, but he’s a good lad so I’m genuinely happy for him.
Cresswell got the only goal of the game but it wasn’t exactly smash and grab as they had some other great chances too. Remarkably, Chelsea didn’t commit a single foul in the entire game. Ron Chopper Harris will be turning in his grave. How is that even possible?
Moving on, and Mourinho’s start at Spurs had been uncharacteristically entertaining, with them win their first two games 3-2. It looked like they were going to have a much easier time of it when they raced into a 3-0 lead over Bournemouth on Saturday, but Harry Wilson came off the bench to score twice and put the shits up the Londoners.
Alli had opened the scoring and Spurs then had one ruled out by VAR after the ball inadvertently struck the hand of Sanchez just before he scored. Under the new rule it was the correct decision, but it’s harsh as fuck really.
Alli’s brilliant finish extended their lead and Sissoko made it three with an acrobatic volley. The overnight transformation of Alli really is something to behold. He went from shite to class in the time it took Poch to collect his p45 and Jose to walk through the door.
A trademark Wilson free-kick followed by a close range effort made it interesting at the end, and Spurs needed a last ditch challenge from Vertonghen to deny Callum Wilson a dramatic equaliser.
Southampton are showing signs of life now. They hit rock bottom when they lost at home to Everton but they’ve been better since. They beat bottom club Watford at St Mary’s and then followed it up by beating second bottom Norwich. That took the third from bottom Saints above Everton, which was nice.
Sarr had given Watford the lead with a powerful finish after a mistake by Stephens had sent him clear. He hasn’t played much yet but I liked him at the last World Cup and am interested to see how he does. He almost made it 2-0 with a brilliant volley that was saved by McCarthy.
Ings then thought he should have had a penalty when he closed down Foster and was hauled down. Michael Oliver gave the foul against him though. He took the easy option there, as Foster ran into Ings and he just couldn’t get out of the way.
Ingsy stuck at it though and bagged his seventh goal of the season to draw Southampton level. I wonder if he’s had his annual bet with Mo this year as to who will score the most? He might actually win this one the way things are going. It shouldn’t have stood though as Djnepro handled in the build up. Unintentional, but under the new rule that shouldn’t have stood.
Ward-Prowse won it with a brilliant free-kick late on. It’s between him and Wilson as to who is the best free-kick taker in the league I reckon. Give Trent another year to perfect his craft and he’ll be number one though. On that note, is it just me or do we hardly ever get free-kicks on the edge of the box?
Watford reacted to that loss by sacking Quique Flores after about a month. Weird club them, but there is method in their madness I think. By that I mean they don’t fuck about when they think a manager isn’t going to get it done. I sort of understand their logic, but eventually they’re going to have to get one right, surely?
Chris Hughton was the early favourite for the job and he would have been a sensible choice I reckon. Really though, they should go for Allardyce. Seriously. He’d keep them up and my boy Troy would have the time of his life as the focal point of a Fat Sam team.
You know what’s fucking mental? Palace continuing to make my assessment of them look foolish. I stand by every word though, I’m right. They’re fucking shite and look like a bottom six side to me. Yet they’re fifth. FIFTH!! They won at Burnley and then beat Bournemouth at home despite going to ten men early when Big Mama recklessly got himself sent off.
I don’t know how they’re doing it. It defies all known logic. Zaha and Schlupp got the goals at Burnley and Schlupp came up trumps for them again in midweek, which I’ll get to later.
Onto Sunday now, and… fucking hell, Everton. That was cruelI wanted them to win because I’d like Leicester to be a long way off when we have to go to their place over Christmas. An eight point lead could become five if they beat us, which they could because we’ll be running on fumes at that point.
So yeah, an Everton win would have been sound and for a while it looked like they might pull it off. They led through a bullet Richarlison header but ended up going home with nothing after Vardy equalised and then that Iheanacho cunt won it in time added on at the end of time added on.
Fuck that shithouse. The last time we saw him he was deliberately missing a sitter against City to help his old mates win the title. No exaggeration, I hate him more than I hate any other player in the league, because as I wrote at the time I’m 100% sure he did that deliberately.
Just to add to Everton’s woe this one was initially ruled out for offside but overturned by VAR. If you slow the video down you can see the exact moment that Marco Silva’s heart is torn in two.
I don’t know how they work those things out because for the life of me I don’t see how that is onside when Bobby was ruled off for one that looked far less dubious. They make it up as they go along it seems.
Even though this was Everton losing in the most heartbreaking way possible, I took zero pleasure out of it. Unlike a lot of Blues, who got the double bonus of Silva moving another step closer to the exit door and Leicester staying within touching distance of us.
I wonder if they were planning any parties for “when Leicester win the league” or if they’re still living vicariously through Man City’s success?
Silva has gone now and that will be covered in depth in the diary this week, so I’ll not dwell on it here other than to say I felt for him at the end of this game and I bear him no ill will. He didn’t deserve that even if their fans did. He seemed like a decent fella and never resorted to the standard Blueshite manager behaviour of taking shots at us to curry favour with the mob.
Mind you, neither did Koeman and from what I recall Martinez wasn’t really a dick either. Most of the fans don’t want Moyes back apparently, but the fact is they’re made for each other as he’s the very definition of small time bitter bastard. He’s one of them, they belong together.
Also on Sunday, Arsenal and United were both held to draws by newly promoted sides, which was nice.
I read this week about how Arsenal’s players had been mocking Emery behind his back and it genuinely infuriated me. Just who the fuck do they think they are? Seriously, I’m genuinely riled by the fucking gall of these cunts and their complete lack of self awareness.
Arsenal players, you don’t get to laugh at anyone because YOU are the fucking joke here. Everyone is laughing at YOU, because you’ve got no balls and are the softest team in the entire league. Bunch of fair weather, fancy Dan, gutless, overpaid cowards.
They were lucky to even get a point as Norwich outplayed them. They led through Pukki’s deflected effort but Arsenal were awarded a penalty when Zimmerman handled. Tim Krul was acting the twat, as he likes to do in these situations, and he was given a yellow card. He then saved Aubamayeng’s pen (after pointing to show he knew where it was going) but it had to be retaken due to encroachment by the player who cleared the rebound.
It’s never nice when VAR sticks it’s oar in and kills the moment but this rule actually makes sense. If he hadn’t cleared the ball then the encroachment wouldn’t have been called, which is fair enough I think. The problem is I don’t think he encroached. Looked to me (and Daniel Farke) like his foot was still on the line when the kick was taken.
Anyway, Aubamayeng retook it and scored, before gesturing at Krul to shut his mouth. Don’t blame him for doing that to be fair. The reaction to it online was revealing though. Arsenal fans were absolutely buzzing off that on Twitter and it just highlighted to me how little they’ve got going for them these days.
It’s like United fans getting their kicks out of Rashford knocking Virgil off balance. We’re jetting off to European Cup finals, tonking Messi & co and going 11 months unbeaten in the league, while Arsenal fans are swinging their dicks because “Auba” shushed Tim Krul. Fucking losers.
Cantwell restored Norwich’s lead with a well taken goal but Aubamayeng smashed in an equaliser when Norwich didn’t deal with a corner. It tells you everything you need to know about Arsenal that it was Norwich who finished the game more strongly and had four great chances to win it. Leno made three good saves and another effort went inches wide.
Arsenal are a massive gang of shitbags and there is not one player in that squad who would get anywhere near Liverpool or City’s bench, let alone team. Any manager who takes that job needs his fucking head testing, as the entire thing needs ripping up and building again from the ground up. Maybe Ljungberg will end up keeping it. I doubt it, but who else can they get?
The links with Brendan were laughable though. Of course he’ll flutter his eyelashes at them and lead them on a bit (even telling people he had a release clause!) as he loves the attention, but he’s not an idiot. He knows he’s onto a good thing at Leicester and he knows Arsenal are a hot mess. He was never going there. Still, using their interest in him got him a five year deal and a pay rise, so job done.
United are shite too but I now believe they’re nowhere near as fucked as Arsenal. They’ve at least got a handful of decent players they could try and rebuild around, and they’ll never be short of cash. They could attract another manager, Arsenal are going to be scraping the barrel.
United were held at home by Villa, who led early through an absolutely stunning goal by Grealish. I’ve got to be honest here, I’m softening my stance to him. I’ve ripped him for years and always thought he was just a preening twat, but he can fucking play and he works hard too. He’s the most fouled player in the league by a mile, which surprised me.
He also said this week that “everyone can lose a game. Except Liverpool”. We’re probably about a month away from “my boy Jack Grealish”. I’m kidding, that’s not gonna happen. At least I hope not. I’m making no promises.
Rashford headed United level but Villa continued to look dangerous and hit the post through Trezeguet. Lindelof nodded United in front but Mings volleyed Villa back on terms again. Martial should have won it for United but somehow dinked it over the bar from two yards. Impressively shit that.
Finally on Sunday, Wolves were held at home by Sheffield United, who are still unbeaten away this season. Mousset gave them a perfect start with brilliantly taken goal after two minutes and they created some great chances that they just couldn’t take.
Doherty stole in at the back post to head Wolves level but the Blades kept pushing and could easily have won it. All things considered, I think pound for pound I’m more impressed with them than anyone else this season. They’re fucking miles better than I thought they’d be and miles better than they probably should be.
The midweek games got under way on Tuesday night. On paper a trip to Burnley looked like a potentially tricky one for City, which is why I decided I’ll give it a little watch to see what’s what. I almost didn’t bother when I saw my boy Ashley Barnes wasn’t starting, and I did sack it off at half time because it couldn’t have been more obvious that Burnley had no chance.
City’s goals were top drawer and the game was easy for them. I draw no conclusions from that though. It doesn’t mean they’re back in form or we should be worried. It doesn’t mean they aren’t or we shouldn’t either. I’m just saying, this game was more about how shit Burnley were for me.
In this fixture last year they were exactly the same, only they managed to hold out for much longer before losing to a scabby goal that was about 3mm over the line. What I remember about that day though was how Burnley caused City no problems whatsoever and it was the same this time.
There’s a reason for that. “Because Burnley are shit?” I hear you cry. No, it’s not that. Well, it kind of is, but it’s a little more complex. City’s defence is weak as fuck and you can get at them. Loads of teams have done already this season, including Newcastle at the weekend. Burnley are better than Newcastle, so why can’t they trouble City?
I’ll tell you why. Because the way you hurt City is with speed and skill on the break. They leave gaps and if you have the players that can run into those gaps then that’s half the battle. What did Burnley do? They played a big fucking statue up front on his own, with Jeff fucking Hendrick supporting him.
City can deal with that all day, and they did. Chris Wood is a fucking yard dog and his decision making was dreadful all night. He even managed to get in the way of a goal bound volley from McNeil, the big fucking dope. A half fit Barnes would have offered more than that big static cunt.
If we didn’t have an eleven point lead over City I’d be a lot angrier about this than I am. I’m not actually angry at all. I was at the time, which is why I switched it off, but this isn’t like last season when the situation was a lot more desperate. The sky is blue, water is wet, Burnley are a glorified pub team. *shrugs*
City are probably one more defeat away from being out of it. If it goes to 14 points I don’t think they’re pulling that back, so let’s hope Ole and the boys can pull it off this weekend. I’m calling it now, United won’t lose that game because Rashford and James could run all over that City defence. 3-2 to United, you heard it here first.
The other game on Tuesday was at Selhurst, where Sakho was sent off early doors for a reckless challenge on Adam Smith. It’s one of those where it feels like a harsh decision because he got the ball and caught the man with his follow through. In general I’m not in favour of that, but Sakho ought to know better than to fly in like that when there was no danger.
He’s carrying some timber these days isn’t he? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying he’s fat, but he does look ‘heavy’. He just kind of stomps around the field and it’s surprising he doesn’t leave big fucking sasquatch footprints on the turf. If you’re an opposing striker you’d defo hear him coming. In fact, anyone in the immediate vicinity would.
I bet when he walks into the canteen at the training ground everyone knows in advance he’s on his way because of the Jurassic Park style shaking glass of water. Maybe get back on those diet pills, Big Mama.
That moment of rashness put Palace up against it, but they dug in and were probably still the better side. Schlupp won it for them with a late solo effort that should have been saved by the keeper. It was well hit but it went in the middle of the goal and seemed to go straight through him.
Just an unacceptable display all round from Bournemouth really. Against ten men for so long you can’t be losing a game late on like that, it’s inexcusable.
They’re weird though. They’ll win five on the bounce and find themselves in the top half, and then lose seven and be just above the drop zone. Streaky bastards. Hopefully they don’t start one of their winning runs this weekend.
Onto Wednesday now, and Mourinho’s revenge didn’t go according to plan. I thought he’d go there and turn United over but Rashford had other ideas. He’ll have been bang up for that game given how little trust Mourinho had in him. United deserved the win and Spurs were disappointing.
I don’t think I’ll ever get used to how shit United’s starting eleven always is you know. It’s the same with Arsenal too I suppose. You see the line up and assume they must have loads of injuries. Deadbeats like Lingard and Perreira and kids like Greenwood and the random cunt who scored at Sheffield United last week.
Rashford opened the scoring with a powerful near post shot that the keeper should have saved. He almost added a worldy shortly after but was denied by the crossbar. Then the keeper clawed one out of the top corner to deny him again. It was all United and Spurs had done fuck all.
Then Deli Alli produced a stunning goal out of nothing. That was so, so good. If he keeps this up I might have to go back to moaning on a weekly basis again about how Ian Ayre fucked that deal up.
Rashford then won and converted a pen. There was minimal contact and if that was Salah or Mané there’s have been a week long inquisition about it. England centre forwards have licence to do whatever they like though, hence Jonathon Pearce proclaiming “there’s no doubt for me”. I’ll remember that next time it’s one of our lads.
Solskjaer will have been pretty smug having gotten one over on Mourinho, and he was still smelling himself on Friday in his pre-City press conference. “At least we play every year now. Took many years before I played a Manchester derby”. Oh damn! That’s good to be fair, I’m all in favour of that, but he’s going to have that thrown back in his face if they lose at the weekend.
Meanwhile, Leicester kept rolling with a routine win over Watford, who are strongly rumoured to be on the verge of appointing former Foxes boss Nigel Pearson. Strange one that. What’s he going to do, scare them out of the relegation zone?
Leicester should have had a pen when Vardy was clipped in the box, but not only was he denied the spot kick he was also given a yellow card for his troubles. VAR really should have overturned that one.
Maybe the ref was told that he’d got that wrong though as he made it up to Leicester with a dubious pen after the break. Messina’s hand was in the face of Johnny Evans but it was more a case of them jostling than anything else. You can’t give pens for that. Evans made a meal of it, as he tends to do. That’s right, I’m not letting the Shelvey incident go. I’ll never let that go. Fuck Johnny Evans.
Vardy converted the pen and Maddison wrapped up the win in stoppage time to give Leicester seven on the spin and keep them within eight points of us at the top. They’ve got Villa and Norwich next, so I’m not expecting that gap to increase any time soon.
Mind you, Villa are no pushovers and that’s a Midlands derby game, so you never know. Villa gave Chelsea a good game but came up just short.
Kevin Abraham scored against the club where he did so well on loan last year. Predictably he didn’t celebrate, which was fair enough. Villa equalised with a scruffy goal from Trezeguet. Does he score anything other than scruffy? He’s like a less prolific Darren Bent. You know he’s shit, and even when he’s scoring he still manages to prove you right.
Mount got the winner with a sweetly struck volley. Chelsea had chances to put the game out of sight but Villa hung around and had some late pressure that almost saw them get an equaliser. Hopefully they can do something against Leicester. Maybe my boy Jac… relax I’m kidding.
Norwich went to St Mary’s in good spirits after taking four points from their last two games, but Southampton have had a resurgence of their own and just had too much for them. Actually that’s not really accurate. They were undone by two set-pieces.
Ings - who else - headed the first from a free-kick and Bertrand bundled in the second from a corner. Pukki pulled one back with 25 minutes to go but Norwich couldn’t find an equaliser and the Saints leapfrogged Everton and pulled out of the bottom three.
Wolves beat West Ham 2-0. Jiminez stabbed in the first and then Cutrone made it safe late on when he rounded off a nice move. West Ham should have been level before that but my boy Snodgrass fluffed his lines. Wolves are absolutely flying now though and are up to 5th. They might stay in the top six because they’re more trustworthy than the likes of Arsenal, United and maybe even Spurs, but time will tell on that.
Thursday now. Newcastle followed up their point against City by winning at Bramall Lane. Saint-Maxin finally got a goal and Jonjo bagged another. They’re six points better off than they were this time last year, but don’t expect anyone to point that out as it goes against the whole “Rafa the magician working miracles” narrative.
Don’t get me wrong, a lot of managers would have been relegated with that squad and Rafa did a sterling job there, but Steve Bruce is doing even better at the moment.
Finally, Brighton’s win at the Emirates was probably seen as a shock, but it shouldn’t be. Having watched them at Anfield I fully expected them to give Arsenal all they could handle, because as I’ve said, Arsenal are massive fucking fannies and Brighton looked like a tight knit unit against us.
I’ll say it again, where do those Arsenal players get the balls to act the way they do when they’re such a fucking embarrassment? I bet they lose at Goodison in a few weeks too, the fucking cowards.
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