The weekend was going pretty well for us overall until City threw away their game against Chelsea. The one time we actually wanted the pricks to win and they fucked it up.
They opened the scoring just before half time through Sterling, who took the ball off the toe of Aguero to convert a cross by Jesus. Aguero actually gets credited with an assist for that, which shows just how pointless that stat is as it was a dreadful touch that would have seen a defender clear the danger if Sterling hadn’t been on the spot. Worst assist since Aquilani fell over at Burnley, the ball hit him on the back and Stevie lashed it in from 30 yards.
City were then were awarded a penalty immediately after as Jesus went tumbling following a minor collision with Gilmour, who was not Happy about that. *sniggers*
That’s not a pen for me as Jesus stepped across him and Gilmour isn’t even really trying to do anything except avoid him. Not that I cared, I just wanted Chelsea to lose so this was all good. Until Aguero fucked it up.
He’s absolutely shite on pens, always has been. I don’t have his record to hand, but it feels like he misses as many as he scores. I don’t know why they don’t have Ederson just leathering all of their pens as he strikes a ball better than anyone they have other than De Bruyne.
Anyone who attempts a ‘Panenka’ should be fined a week’s wages. And if they miss, it should be a month’s. Showboating twats. That miss basically cost City the game because if he scores Chelsea aren’t coming back from 2-0.
Not that they will care. The title was more or less wrapped up anyway as they knew United had to play three games in five days. I had this one down as a Chelsea loss though so for them to come back and win was a kick in the balls.
Ziyech levelled with a low shot that Ederson probably should have saved and Werner and Hudson-Odoi both had goals ruled out for offside as Chelsea pushed hard for a winner.
Sterling should have had a penalty late on but then he shouldn’t have even been on the field to win it, so that one evened itself out. It was definitely a red card tackle on Werner in the first half but he’s done that before and got away with it. One of those ‘ho ho ho wee Raheem canna tackle’ kind of things.
As for the pen he didn’t get, I get the school of thought that says he slowed down to ensure the defender ran into him, but he’s entitled to do that as there’s no rule that says you need to run flat out at all times. If there was I’d have never bothered lacing up a pair of boots because fuck that.
The point is, he may have slowed down to draw contact, but Zouma’s knee caught him on the thigh and caused him to go down. It wasn’t a dive but you can say he played for it. If we hadn’t been given a pen for that I’d have gone mad.
That was a huge moment in the game because Chelsea went up the other end and won it through Alonso’s scuffed finish. Annoying as fuck, but if Chelsea can repeat that in the Champions League Final then that will soften the blow somewhat.
That result was a rare blemish on an otherwise decent weekend. Spurs lost at Leeds which helped us out considerably.
Leeds started well and my boy Bamford had already gone close before Dallas put them one up after 13 minutes. Son made it 1-1 when he ran onto a pass by Alli, and Kane thought he’d made it 2-1 with a brilliant goal. VAR had other ideas.
You know, that was a fucking disgrace really. It worked out good for us, but it was still a fucking scandal. I’ve made this point before and this particular goal emphasises it perfectly. That was level and the only reason that goal isn’t given is because the VAR decided he didn’t want to give it.
When it’s that close they have to give a decision one way or another and it’s entirely at their discretion. There is no evidence that Kane’s toe was ahead of the defenders. It’s entirely about where they choose to put that line, and when the lines are level they have to move one of them and that is completely down to whatever the VAR chooses to do.
That’s just not right. These decisions need to be based on fact, not the preference of one man. This shit will 100% kill football if it isn’t scrapped.
Bamford converted from close range to restore Leeds’ advantage. Kane hit the bar with a free-kick before Raphinha set up Rodrigo to make the game safe. Lovely counter attack that.
Kane is currently the top goalscorer and also has more assists than anyone else. I’ve dismissed the relevance of assists but in his case it’s different. His assists aren’t a case of rolling it five yards for someone to smash one in from 30 yards, they’ve generally been brilliant through balls or crosses.
He’s Player of the Year by a fucking mile and that’s a hill I’m prepared to die on. All this Ruben Dias talk is just bollocks. It’s people trying to look more knowledgeable by ignoring the obvious, stroking their chins and musing “oh you only have to look at the difference Dias has made to City”.
He’s had a good season but Harry Kane has been the best player in the league by a huge margin. He’s being linked with City now and if - God forbid - that happens and he has the same kind of season for them that he’s had this year, I guarantee the same people rimming Dias now will be saying Kane has ‘gone to another level’ and is the best player in the country. He already is, he’s just in a shite team.
Another good result for us saw Newcastle win at Leicester. Nice unexpected bonus that one. The Geordies tore Leicester apart on the break but in fairness they are a much better side when they have Wilson, Saint-Maximin and Almiron together. They haven’t had all three playing together for large parts of the season and if they had they’d be pushing for the top half.
Willock scored yet again to give them the lead. Four games in a row he’s scored now. He’s a tidy little player him and he’d do well to get away from Arsenal for good. You don’t want that Arsenal stench on you as it’s tough to shake off.
Dummet rose well to thump in a header to make it 2-0 and Wilson ran clear onto a brilliant Richie through ball to put Newcastle three ahead. Amazing. Wilson then added another. Newcastle four goals up at third placed Leicester? Mental. But this is the kind of mad thing that has been happening in empty stadiums.
Leicester did rally and goals from Albrighton and that Iheanacho cunt made it a little nervy, especially as Dubravka needed to make a great stop to deny that Ayoze Perez loser, but Bruce’s boys held on and they’ve survived with plenty to spare.
They’ll probably sack him because the fans hate him but he’s done a good job.
Same with the Hodge. Palace were never in any danger of going down and that’s been the case for most of his time there. You have to think he must be nearing the end and you wonder what keeps him going. The only thing Palace can realistically do every season is stay up, yet somehow he is still motivated to go to work every day and grind. He must be fucking mad. Just enjoy your money Roy and retire somewhere hot with nice golf courses and beaches.
Benteke put them ahead against Sheffield United with a shot that was right down the keeper’s throat but was deflected in off a defender. He did did that fucking shitty thigh slapping celebration though. Beggars can’t be choosers I suppose. He doesn’t get much chance to bust that move out these days, thankfully. It gets me irrationally mad as it’s just so shit.
He should have had a second soon after but his header was too close to Ramsdale. He then hit the post after robbing Fleck and thundering in a shot from a tight angle. Eze made it 2-0 with a brilliant solo effort. He’s really talented him. Doesn’t really do enough with that talent but he’s still young and might turn into something very good.
Onto Sunday. United won away again. After coming from behind again. Didn’t watch it, have no interest in it, all I’ll say is this shit wouldn’t happening all the time if fans were in stadiums. You watch, as soon as fans are properly back United will lose the first away game they play in a full stadium. Their record this season is as false as our home record. Stick a huge asterisk next to it.
Arsenal proved me wrong last week. I thought they’d somehow win the Europa and backdoor their way into the Champions League. Instead, they served up a damp squib 0-0 against Villarreal and their season came to an abrupt end.
They did beat West Brom though to stay in 10th spot. Smith Rowe converted a Saka cross to break the deadlock. That was his first Premier League goal of the season which surprised me as I thought he’d been doing really well. I suppose it’s just such a low bar at Arsenal that anyone who can run without tripping over their own laces seems like they’re doing well.
Pepe curled one in from the edge of the box to double their lead and then ran to the camera to celebrate. See, this is what I’m talking about. This is why I’m so offended by Arsenal and their lack of self awareness. You’re 10th in the league, you’ve just embarrassed yourself in Europe and all your fans hate you. Yet your players are over celebrating goals against a relegated side as though they’ve just done something special. That is why you fail, Arsenal. That is why you fail.
Pereira pulled one back for the Baggies and he’s too good to be relegated. Someone should take him as he’s a tidy player. Could see him doing well with Leeds or someone like that. Norwich maybe. The rest of that squad belongs in the Championship though.
Willian curled in a free-kick in the last minute to make it 3-1 and again, the celebrations were over the top. He’s been there the whole fucking season and this was his first goal. He should have been too embarrassed to celebrate. Zero humility at that club.
Allardyce now finally has a relegation on his CV and we can all take a moment to enjoy that, especially as he once again absolved himself of any blame for it. “I think these players should have got themselves in a situation where they were still fighting to stay out of the relegation situation”. Typical of the man. Take the credit for anything good, blame the players when it doesn’t go right.
So now he has been relegated, the mashed potato faced twat. Not ever having to hear that little nugget trotted out when he does his ‘Fireman Sam’ act and picks up millions to save some under-achieving loser club from the drop is one small crumb of comfort to take from this season. Just a shame he didn’t take Everton down when he was there.
Another good result for us came at the City of London stadium where our friendly neighbourhood Blues took care of West Ham. Calvert-Lewin got the only goal of the game and I don’t really have much else to say other than to highlight this…..
Just look at Richarlison there!! Honestly, that is the worst piece of off the ball running from a forward I have ever seen in my life. All he has to do is either stay where he is or hang back a little and it’s an easy ball for Calvert-Lewin to play him in. Instead he runs straight to the ball and closes off all avenues. Genuinely, I find that incomprehensible, the thick ugly cunt.
I hope Ancelotti highlights that in their next team meeting and makes a complete cunt out of him in front of the entire squad. I still can’t believe that happened. It’s mad. What an absolute cunt. I fucking despise him.
Brighton lost at Wolves thanks to some irresponsible play from their captain. Dunk had rose highest to head them into an early lead but was then sent off for pulling back Silva when he was clean through. So stupid that. You need to have some game awareness in that situation.
The lad isn’t guaranteed to score but even if he does your team is playing well, it’s 1-1 so it’s not the end of the world. If there’s only 15 minutes left then sure, drag the fucker back and take one for the team. After 52 minutes though? Nah, that’s braindead and it’s his fault they lost.
Wolves seriously laboured though. Traore equalised with the kind of goal you wonder why he can’t do on a more regular basis. He frustrates the fuck out of me. He then put one on a plate for Gibbs-White but the kid smashed it into orbit with the goal gaping. He redeemed himself in stoppage time by firing in the winner but this is basically the first thing I can remember him doing all season.
He looked amazing a year or so back and has basically disappeared since. He’s their equivalent of Curtis Jones but they just haven’t developed him at all. Traore has gone backwards this year too.
Then there’s Hoever. That lad was phenomenal at 16 and had superstar potential. Ajax have had some good kids come through recently but when we nabbed him our staff believed they had the best of that bunch. Look at him now though. Squad player at Wolves. You just never know with young players as they all develop at different speeds and some of them just don’t progress at all.
Brighton have done well to stay up though and Graham Potter is one of the best managers in the league. He’s like Brendan without the Brendanisms. Speaking of which, you may have missed this on social media this week so I figured it was worth throwing in here as it’s just gold.
Monday night now, and Fulham’s fate was finally sealed as they lost at home to Burnley. Westwood and Wood got the goals as Fulham produced their standard performance. Nice passing, good football, no points.
Fulham can fuck off now. Hopefully they stay down as I’m sick of these yo-yo teams like them, Norwich, Watford and West Brom. Fuck all of them, I’d rather see those scabs Forest get back up, or someone like Bolton or Blackburn who were fucked over by terrible owners. Sunderland too, although they’re finding it hard to even get out of League One, let alone the Championship.
I don’t want to see Fulham again though, or Scott ‘Scotty’ Parker and his Top Man outfits. We actually lost at home to them too. Shameful.
Wood has been in great form lately and he is Burnley in a microcosm. Streaky bastard. Does nothing for months, then goes on a hot streak and at the end of the season he’s in double figures. Burnley seem to have the same season every year. Bad runs, people questioning them, skirting around just above the relegation spots and then at the end of the season you look at it and they’re well safe.
No wonder they’ve named a pub near the ground after Dyche, he’s achieved miracles there when you consider they’ve got the same starting eleven they’ve had for six years.Their team never changes, they never spend any money but they survive with plenty to spare every year.
Tuesday now, and I avoided that United / Leicester game completely. I checked the score at the end and it was what I expected, but there was no way I was devoting any time to that. I forwarded the highlights too. I’m not mad at Solskjaer or the United players. He played the bad hand he was dealt by their cunt fans.
Klopp said he’d have done exactly the same as Solskjaer did and I agree. There’s nothing wrong with what he did and the players he put out there gave it a go from what I’ve heard. It’s just fucking disgusting really that the only ones to suffer from the actions of those stadium invading cunts are us.
Apparently I’m meant to back their cause though. Get to fuck. The only thing worse than those mancs are the Reds telling us we should support them.
The irony here is that United having to field a weakened team and losing to Leicester handed the title to their ‘noisy neighbours’. They were almost certainly winning it anyway but they had been wobbling a little bit and if United had kept on winning it would have put a bit of pressure on City.
Without the fixture backlog United could have at least made City win it themselves instead of having it handed to them.
So anyway, that result looked to have put the final nail in our Champions League coffin. But then, 24 hours later, along came the most unlikely of White Knights on a trusty steed. Arsenal. No really. Arsenal.
The flakiest of flakey bastards. The most spineless, underachieving bunch of fucking bums in the football world, went to high flying Chelsea - Champions League finalists Chelsea - and ground out a 1-0 win. Who’d have thunk it? No-one, that’s who.
The only goal of the game was a right clusterfuck from Chelsea’s point of view. Jorginho played a blind backpass towards an empty net. Kepa had to sprint back and just about got it away from on the line, but Aubamayeng picked it up and squared for Smith Rowe to score.
The interesting thing about this was that Kepa handled a backpass and the ref could have blown, but he played the advantage to see what happened and Arsenal scored. So well played Andre Marriner for that.
Where it gets interesting though is that if he had blown for the foul, the only thing he could have done is award an indirect free-kick six yards from goal. Even though Kepa was denying a certain goal by committing foul play, under the laws of the game the ref could have taken no further action against him.
How fucked up is that? Think about the red card David Luiz got a couple of months ago and compare it to Kepa doing that. Arsenal wouldn’t have even got a penalty for it, it would have been an indirect free-kick that would have almost certainly come to nothing. That law defo needs looking at.
Holding blocked a shot with his hand but VAR wasn’t interested. He couldn’t do anything about it and his arm wasn’t in a particularly unnatural position, but that defo could have gone either way.
Pulisic had a goal correctly ruled out for offside, Zouma hit the bar and then Giroud also hit the bar from the rebound. Arsenal did absolutely nothing going forward but they defended ok.
At this point I think we need to talk about Dion Dublin’s glasses. Did he get them from Uncle Junior? I mean what the fuck is this about?
Finally, Southampton welcomed back Danny Ings and he scored twice to help them see off Palace. Benteke fought his way through to fire the visitors ahead but Ings scored a boss little goal to level it up. Some of the goals he’s scored this season have been fucking brilliant, he's so sharp he could cut himself. Can we have him back and let them have Firmino instead? Asking for a friend.
Zaha won a penalty but for once Milovojevic didn’t convert. Herman Munster made a great save but there was a VAR check to see if he was off his line. I hate that rule. It’s hard enough for keepers to save pens without these busy traffic warden cunts looking to see if their foot is a millimetre off the line.
Looking at the replay it seems to be that he was off the line. His standing foot was well off the line and although his trailing leg was on the line, his foot wasn’t planted. So shouldn’t that have been retaken? I’m glad it wasn’t as its a shitty rule, but I found that a bit strange as I thought your foot had to actually be touching the goal-line. Maybe not.
Adams put Southampton ahead after a clever corner routine. Well worked that, and a tidy finish. Ings wrapped it up with another quality finish. He’s just fucking quality.
Benteke missed great chance to equalise when it looked like he was running in treacle. He was never a speedster but he wasn’t slow either. Now he runs like me. He is having a little bit of a resurgence of late though and the way this season has gone that fucker will probably score the goal that keeps us out of the top four.
Assuming of course we’re still in the race at that point. Our recent track record at Old Trafford does nothing to inspire confidence we will be. Hopefully those pricks will get the game called off again and we will be awarded the points and a 3-0 win. That’s the only hope we have really with a ref and a VAR both from Manchester.
We all know how ‘Altrincham fan’ Anthony Taylor likes to fuck us over, and let’s not forget that Tierney on VAR is the same cunt who blew up 14 seconds earlier because Sadio was clean through against them at Anfield.
So yeah, let’s all get behind our Mancunian friends and support their protests against the Glazers. Go ed lads, trash your stadium, make your point. Give ‘em hell. We stand with you.
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