Not the most interesting of weekends this, but City lost again and Everton were humiliated at Chelsea, which was nice. Both of those were on Sunday so I’ll get to them in a bit.
On Saturday Arsenal had an undeserved 1-0 win over West Ham at the Emirates. The Hammers were the better side and even Arteta admitted that. So far I don’t mind him, he seems alright considering some of the dubious company he’d been keeping before taking the job. There’s absolutely zero chance his hair is still naturally that colour though. It’s so black it’s almost as shiny as his mate Pep’s chrome dome, albeit in a different way, obviously.
West Ham were coming off a much needed win last week but they’re still in big trouble at the bottom. They could have really done with a result here and if they knew how to finish they’ve have got one as they had so many chances.
Bowen hit the post, Haller wasted a great opportunity due to a dreadful touch and my boy Antonio somehow put one wide from a yard out. He was also denied by a great save by Leno and all those misses would come back to haunt them as substitute Lacazette converted an Ozil nod down. Initially it was given offside by Sian Massey but VAR correctly over ruled it and gave the goal.
Moyes said afterwards, “we had one of the best referees in Europe and two excellent linesmen (his mates Keys and Gray will be proud) who had very good games today, so I’d have been happy to trust their decision and I don’t think we needed to go to someone else”.
WHAT??? He wasn’t joking either, he was deadly serious. What a piece of work he is. That’s one of the most ludicrous, not to mention hypocritical statements made by any manager all season. Let’s just completely disregard the VAR if it means the wrong decision goes in your favour, eh? We’ll see how happy he is to ‘trust their decision’ when it goes against him, the crying twat.
How come Lacazette is only on the bench these days? He’s lost his place to that Eddie Nketia kid, which seems odd as it’s not like Nketia is some wonderkid is it? He’s alright but he’s not that good. Obviously Lacazette isn’t either. He should be so much better than he actually is. He’s underachieving massively, so he’s at the perfect club really.
Arsenal’s midweek game at City was then postponed because some of their players quarantined themselves amid fears they’d contracted corona virus. I know this isn’t a joking matter but I’m not even joking when I say if you’d told that there’d be one team unable to play a game because of a situation like this, then Arsenal would have been number one two and three on my list.
Someone probably sneezed at training and before you know it Mesut Ozil is like the fucking ‘boy in the bubble’. Turned out the players were all fine but Arteta has it, which was a bit random like.
Several players throughout the league have since tested positive for it, which seems a bit disproportionate doesn’t it? There aren’t THAT many cases nationwide, yet there are about half a dozen premier league players / managers with it. Kind of suggests that football is quite high risk, yet they don’t seem to want to put the league on hold for $om£ r£a$on.
Newcastle picked up a huge three points away to Southampton. The Saints were up against it when Djenepo was red carded early on after a VAR review. He over ran the ball and left his foot in on Hayden. Not malicious but it was dangerous. The ref gave him a yellow but VAR recommended he take a look and after checking the pitch side monitor he upgraded to a red. That’s how it should be. The VAR ref could have given it but it’s much better this way.
So why then, a bit later, did VAR award Newcastle a penalty for a debatable handball? Surely you’d once again just ask the ref to take a look? It probably was just about a pen but surely everyone would be much happier if the ref on the field was making that call? At least when that happens fans know who to yell at and Conor Coady doesn't look like a massive ballbag by bitching to officials who had nothing to do with the actual decision.
Matt Richie (facing Southampton as a Pompey fan and former Pompey player) saw his spot kick brilliantly saved by McCarthy. Newcastle must have been thinking they were never going to score as their last goal came back in September (or something), but with ten minutes to go Saint-Maximin robbed Valery and found the bottom corner. I like him. Exciting player (albeit erratic as fuck) and he’s got a good sense of humour based on his tweets after that fan whipped his lash out.
The Geordies are virtually safe now and Steve Bruce deserves credit for what he’s done there. It’s not been very pleasing on the eye but considering loads of people thought they’d be relegated he’s done a good job. The best description I’ve seen of it was on Twitter when someone said he’s like a replacement bus service, in that he’ll get you where you need to go but it won’t be an enjoyable experience.
There was nothing more nailed on than Watford losing this weekend. Having beaten us 3-0 I knew they’d shit the bed at Palace. Its a recurring theme. We’re getting everyone’s best effort even though the games before and after they do nothing. In fairness to Watford they should have got something from the game as they weren’t bad, but Ayew got the only goal of the game and Watford are still right in the relegation mire.
Palace are well out of it now though after three consecutive 1-0 wins. The league is so mad that three wins just completely changes everything. You go from relegation candidates to being on the cusp of the top six. MOTD posted up some stats from since Hodgson got to Palace, and in that time they’re ninth in points total. Don’t ask me why because they’re very clearly shite.
Meanwhile, Sheffield United continue to grind out wins and stay in the hunt for a CL spot. They just about edged out Norwich at Bramall Lane thanks to a Billy Sharp header and needed a heroic triple save from Dean Henderson to preserve the victory.
How shit are Spurs? And how shit is Hugo Lloris? And how shit is Mourinho? The answer to all three is “extremely shit”. Mourinho went the full Mourinho at Burnley and selected five centre backs. FIVE!! And they still couldn’t stop Chris Wood from scoring.
They equalised from the spot when Lamela was clumsily brought down by Ben Mee and Dele Alli put away the pen. Burnley should have been awarded a pen of their own when Sanchez went through the back of Wood, but Fat Jon Moss wasn’t interested. He loves Spurs, the fat fuck.
Mourinho threw Ndombele under the bus afterwards. There was much discussion about whether he was justified in doing so or not. Doesn’t really matter does it? It’s what he does these days. Always deflecting blame from himself by pointing the finger at certain players. There was a time when his players would have run through walls for him, but at his last three or four clubs he’s ended up being hated by everyone, the obnoxious twat.
Wolves were well below par in their goalless draw at home to Brighton. My boy Traore has been in and out of the side lately with a shoulder injury and when he’s not playing they miss him. He came off the bench and sparked a late flurry for it wasn’t enough and Brighton picked up a really valuable point in their fight for survival.
The manc derby was bittersweet. Sweet because it’s always funny seeing City lose, but the flip side of that coin is that United winning isn’t pleasant, even when it helps us. Don’t get me wrong, I wanted City to lose (and expected them to) but United's fans are getting a little too chesty for my liking of late. They deserved this win though as once again City found it really difficult against them. United's style is suited to playing City as their strength dovetails nicely with City's weakness. It helps when the opposing keeper goes the full Adrian though.
For once the horror show involving Ederson had nothing to do with his face. His performance was as brutal as his grid. He was beaten at his near post for Martial’s opener, then he almost did a Peter Enckleman and was incredibly lucky to get away with it, and finally he threw the ball straight to McTominay who stroked it back into the empty net.
Aguero had a goal disallowed and it was just about the right call. There was a penalty incident too but VAR stayed out of it and just went with Mike Dean’s incorrect decision. Otamendi kicks Fred on the shin. Fred went down. Mike Dean produced a yellow card for a dive. I can see why Dean thought it was a dive but VAR needs to be overturning that as probably a penalty but it’s defo not a yellow card.
City losing was great for us because it brought our ‘wins needed’ down from three to two, but United are starting to get a little full of themselves and need bringing down a peg or two again. This run they’re on looks better than it actually is as they’ve played some shite in there and they really ought to have lost to Everton a week ago. It’s a house of cards but it’s enough to make them jib the protests. “Green and Gold, unless we’re good”. Fucking sad cunts.
One of the many things I hate about United fans is the way they’ll come up with some fucking awful song, and then sing it repeatedly on a loop for half an hour in their boring, droning, nasal manc voices. There’s no worse sound in the world than a smug Man United crowd.
How funny was that Everton game though? They got snotted everywhere by Chelsea and 4-0 flattered them massively.
Mount set the ball rolling with a lovely turn and finish. Pedro and Willian increased the lead before big handsome Olly added a fourth. He’s a sexy big bastard isn’t he? I honestly reckon if I was Olivier Giroud I’d just walk around naked all the time and just encourage the world to marvel at my magnificence.
The best player on the pitch was that Gilmour kid who got man of the match against us in the cup. It’s been a great season for Chelsea on that front. Mount, Abraham, Tomori, James and now this lad. The season of rebuild with a novice manager couldn’t have gone much better for them, as the teams who they should have been battling with a top four spot have mostly been a disgrace. If they qualify for the CL in a season of transition then it’s a huge win for them.
The Blues though, fucking hell. You can tell they’ve got the derby coming up because none of the cunts even broke sweat, let alone put a tackle in. All their focus was on next week’s clash with us and you know they’ll be all fire and fucking brimstone and will be everything they weren’t in this game, the fucking phoneys.
The reaction to it on EFC twitter was comedy gold. Those Paddy Power Fan Denial videos are great but the best ones always involve Everton. They must love it whenever the Blues have a bad result.
Michael Keane seemed to be the target for most of the criticism, with the best one being “is Michael Keane buffering or is he actually that slow?”. Bet he finds an extra yard of pace for Monday night though. They’ll be like men possessed, especially if City lose this weekend and we have the chance to win the title at Goodison. I don’t think we’ll be in that situation, but if we are then it’s going to be fucking carnage there. Imagine how big this game would be if we hadn’t lost at Watford.
Finally, Monday night. Villa look fucked now don’t they? They got battered by Leicester and when you see the run of games they have coming up it’s entirely possible they’ll be bottom soon. Pepe had an absolute nightmare, but the only surprise to me is that people are surprised. Because of his popularity no-one seems to want to say it but the truth is he’s been shite for an entire decade now.
Villa were hard done by with the penalty against Mings though. Sick of seeing players punished for being hit on the shoulder. It's a fucking joke, but at least that's one thing that the authorities are going to do something about for next season. Whenever next season will be.
Because come what may, they need to complete this one before starting another. You can't just scrap this season because there'll be legal issues all over the fucking place. You can't have no promotion or relegation for a start. Then what happens with the CL places?
Then of course there's the issue of our title. A number of clubs might be in favour of scrapping the season and starting again, but they won't be so keen when supporters and TV companies / sponsors ask them to return all the money they made from a season that 'doesn't count'.
So take a break for as long as is necessary, and then let's get back on with the business of seeing us crowned as Champions and Villa sent back to the Championship with their tails between their legs.
It's a shame we're going to have this delay because I'd have loved to have seen them relegated on Stevie's birthday in May.
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