The battle for the two Champions League spots behind us and City is intensifying by the week. Spurs and Chelsea looked to have them locked up but for differing reasons both are stuttering and the door has been opened for Arsenal and United.
Chelsea were dogshit at the Emirates on Saturday. Really bad. Something just doesn’t look right there and it hasn’t done since the first couple of months of the season. It doesn’t seem that long ago that they one of three unbeaten teams and Sarri was getting widespread praise, but look at them now, trying to hold onto a top four spot.
Arsenal were right at it and there were shades of their win over Spurs about this performance. They played with a high tempo and a desire we’re not used to seeing (their most distance covered since records began, apparently), but they clearly knew Chelsea were vulnerable and they took advantage of it.
Lacazette scored a great goal to put them ahead and they had several other chances before Koscielny shouldered one in to double their advantage. Flukey finish as he completely missed his header, but the defending from Chelsea was so bad you’d never believe they had an Italian manager.
Chelsea had loads of the ball after that but did nothing with it. I’ve got a Chelsea supporting mate and he’s been telling me for a while now that he actually gets bored watching them. It’s just passing for the sake of it and he hates it. It looks like the players do too, some more than others.
They aren’t buying in, you can tell by watching them. Sarri laid into them afterwards and said they are difficult to motivate. Every manager this group have had would no doubt agree. When they decide they can’t be arsed there’s really not much you can do. When they buy in, they win the league. When they decide they aren’t having it, they get managers sacked.
Sarri is taking a big risk messing about with Hazard. He isn’t a centre forward and clearly hates playing there, and if you alienate him then you’ve got no chance. Insisting on playing Kante out of position as well is either brave or stupid. Either way, it’s likely to end with him back in Serie A before you can say “typical Chelsea”.
They play City soon and we really need them to get their shit together for that. My expectation is they'll lose 3-0 and won't even have a shot. Best to set the bar low to avoid disappointment. Arsenal play City soon too. I'm not holding out any hope for them either, although I expect them to make more of a game of it than Chelsea. Maybe 3-1 then.
Moving on, and Wolves and Leicester were involved in a belter at Molyneux. The home side were 2-0 up in the blink of an eye through goals by Jota and Bennett.
Leicester were in big trouble and could have conceded more, but they rode their luck and got themselves back into the game early in the second half after a lightning counter attack by Vardy and Grey. Good finish from Gray but I thought Rui Patricio made it easy for him by staying rooted to his line.
Patricio has been really good for the most part, but he was ropey in this one and was almost embarrassed early on by Vardy, who dispossessed him when he was dallying on the ball. Luckily the keeper managed to just about get it away for a corner. It deserved to be punished really though. He took three touches. Even taking two touches is probably unwise when Vardy is around (nobody closes down quicker than him, he’s the closest thing I’ve seen to Rushy when it comes to that), but three? Do these pricks never study the opposition?
Some kid called Harvey Barnes equalised with a shot that went in off Coady, but Jota latched onto a stunning ball over the top by Neves to restore Wanderers’ lead. Like watching Aaron Rodgers to Jordy Nelson that (fellow NFL fans will understand).
Morgan headed in a Maddison free-kick with a couple of minutes left to make it 3-3, but Jota completed his hat-trick right at the death to leave Leicester broken hearted. Claude Puel looked like he was going to cry. Defending as naive as that will do that to a manager. Shocking stuff.
All in stark contrast to the scenes on the Wolves bench, where Nuno Holy Spirit ended up on the pitch to celebrate with his players. Not on that, he showed a complete lack of respect for Leicester but it’s probably because he’s running scared of them. (see what I did there?)
Seriously, it wasn’t even that bad. He didn’t go streaking across the pitch like Jurgen did, he kind of sneaked on by the corner flag and just said well done to Jota. Klopp’s was defo worse in terms of how it would incite the opposition fans, but then we were playing Everton and it doesn’t take much to incite them does it?
The Wolves boss was immediately sent to the stands and has since been given the same fine that Klopp got. I thought Klopp got off lightly but this seems harsh to me as I don’t think there was anything wrong with what he did. Interesting that it was the same ref in both games though, and I reckon poor old Nuno paid the price for what Jurgen did.
Up to the North East now, and Rafa putting one over on his old enemy Warnock as Newcastle easily took care of Cardiff to leapfrog them in the table.
Some cat named Schar got the opener when he ran about 40 yards with the ball without anyone challenging him. He got the second too, bundling in from close range after Cardiff made a hash of a Ritchie corner. That Ayoze Perez loser got the third with a tap in after good play by Rondon.
Speaking of Rondon, he earned all sorts of plaudits for a show of sportsmanship when he ended a Newcastle attack by putting the ball out of play for a throw in so a Cardiff defender could get treatment on a head injury. It was a nice touch, but spare a thought for Joselu who has been killing Newcastle attacks by kicking the ball into touch all season. Where's the praise for him?
Elsewhere, a screamer from Ward-Prowse put Southampton on their way to victory over the sorry Blues at St Marys. A freak own goal from Digne put them two up, as Pickford’s little arms couldn’t quite stretch far enough as it squirmed into the corner.
Sigurdsson bagged a stoppage time goal and the Blues had a last gasp corner and for some reason sent Pickford forward. What’s the point? He was probably the smallest player in the box.
You know who’s a fraud? That Lookman kid. Sick of hearing about his potential and how Everton aren’t using him as much as they should. There’s a reason he doesn’t play and there’s a reason they let him go out on loan last season. He’s not very good.
You know who else is a fraud? Marco Silva. He’s got a worse record at Everton than Fat Sam had even though he’s been allowed to bring in a load of his own players. A worse record than Allardyce. You can be sure Fat Sam will be bringing that up at some point on Keys & Gray in the next couple of weeks as he hovers around some struggling club like the fucking angel of death. He'd have been nailed on for Burnley if they hadn't had this recent mini-revival. His options are limited now though as he's managed virtually everyone in the bottom half and not one of them would have him back. Bet he's keeping a close eye on Puel's situation.
Eddie Howe dropped Begovic and brought back Artur Boruc as Bournemouth beat West Ham. Wilson scored a beauty and King wrapped it up with a close range finish, but it could all have been much different had Big Andy not missed an absolute sitter from a yard out when the score was 0-0.
Awful miss and he’s getting absolutely battered for it. West Ham fans really seem to hate him. I saw he was trending on Twitter so had a look and the amount of shit he’s getting from their fans is brutal. Not that I blame them. They’re paying him a fortune to never play and on the odd occasion he is fit this is what he does.
I’m still a fan though. I always will be. Doesn’t matter if he never scores another goal, I’ll always think fondly of him for what he did for us in the FA Cup. He scored the winning goal against Everton in a semi final and he almost single handedly turned around the final when he scored a great goal and then could easily have been awarded an equaliser if we’d had goal-line technology.
Of course overall he didn’t deliver on his transfer fee and his injury record is appalling, but when he’s fit he is (or at least was) a force of nature. He’s been linked with a move to Spurs in this window which would be a bit mental like. They’re desperate, I get that, but what is he going to give them that Llorente isn’t?
West Ham would probably jump at the chance to get him off the wage bill but their problem is they have no other strikers as both Arnautovic and Hernandez are trying to engineer moves away and Antonio seems to have completely forgotten how to play football this season, as he’s been fucking woeful.
Watford and Burnley ended goalless, although Burnley were denied a stoppage time winner by an incorrect offside call. Shame that. Not.
United beat Brighton at Old Trafford. Solskjaer has done an incredible job there in fairness. When he took over they were sixth and now they’re sixth.
Pogba scored from the spot after doing that stupid run up again. It was funny as you could audibly hear half the crowd going “oh for fucks sake” when he started his run up. He’s a massive preening twat.
Rashford made it 2-0 with a fine individual effort and although Gross pulled one back United held on for a sixth consecutive league win. Fucking dreading going there in a few weeks you know. I mean they’re still shit, but they’re a totally different proposition now because they’re actually trying.
They’ll be fucking frothing at the mouth when we go there but their defence is awful so if we can weather the early storm and the front three are on it we should be alright, assuming we don’t get De Gea’d of course, which is always a risk.
Sunday now, and City had a routine 3-0 win at manager-less Huddersfield. They didn’t look anywhere their best but it was Huddersfield so they didn’t need to. The first was a flukey deflection, then Sterling got his customary close range goal from a Sane cross and Sane himself added the third.
Couple of things that are winding me up about City. Firstly, Aguero’s bleached blonde head. You’re too old for that shit. Grow up you soft cunt. That's Hernandez behaviour that. You'll be having a silly nickname on the back of your shirt next. Oh wait, you already have, 'Kun'.
Secondly, that away kit of City’s is awful. It’s not as bad as the horrible purple kit we’ve got, I'm under no illusions there, but it’s still dreadful nonetheless. These teams with all the money in the world, and they can’t design a decent away kit. There’s no excuse for it.
The other game on Sunday was much more interesting as injury hit Spurs faced a Fulham side in desperate need of a win.
I thought Fulham would win, but I seem to be massively over rating them don’t I? I keep saying they’ll be fine because they’ve got good players, and they keep losing and are still rooted in the relegation zone.
I think the problem is they don’t look terrible so I think they'll get over it, but they're seven points adrift so I should probably accept the inevitable now.
They had the lead in this game (a Llorente own goal) and played really well in the first half, but they couldn't sustain it
Speaking of Llorente though, has he had reconstructive facial surgery or something? Seriously, I’d never have recognised him in a million years. It's like Luke Skywalker's transformation between Star Wars and Empire Strikes Back.
That’s just not the same face as the fella who played for Swansea. It looks nothing like him. Did he used to have a beard or a different haircut or something? I dunno, but he looks rough as fuck now.
Anyway, Alli equalised after a fresh air clearance by that Ream chump. Stealing a living he is. Awful, awful player. A draw would have been a fair result but Spurs kept plugging away and won it with the last kick of the game through Winks.
It's been an eventful week or so for Fulham as Kamara has been causing murder. In the aftermath of their penalty fall out, he got into a fight with Mitrovic at a fucking yoga class! Isn’t yoga supposed to be calming? That wasn't even the worst of it, as this week he was arrested and charged with ABH after an incident at the training ground. He’s a fucking loon.
Fulham signed Ryan Babel to take his place and he was boss on his debut. I’d love him to be a success over here. He’s spoken some bollocks this week about why it didn’t work out for him here (basically blamed it all on Rafa) but I wish him well.
The win was huge for Spurs given their current predicament. Son is away and Kane is injured, and now they've lost Alli to a hamstring tear. On top of that, Moura has been missing too. How do you deal with that? It's like us losing Mo, Sadio, Bobby and Shaq all at the same time.
I almost feel sorry for them. Almost. But fuck Spurs.
Recommended Comments