Finally something for the Blues to smile about, as they got a much needed - and widely unexpected - win over Chelsea at Goodison. Big Dunc’s at the wheel, he’s doing his thing man. Get that contract on the table now.
He’s going to be in charge of their next game too but it’s assumed that a permanent appointment will be made in a couple of weeks. There’s still talk that it might be Moyes, which if true just shows what a massive fucking shithouse he is.
If it’s him, why wouldn’t he have taken the job immediately? If the new man doesn’t come in until after this little run of games against the big boys is over, then he’s a fucking coward. And from Everton’s point of view, if they have a deal done and are just biding their time, they’re taking a massive risk because what if Big Dunc wins all of those games?
Unlikely, yes, but not impossible. We’ve seen plenty of “new manager bounce” situations before, and Everton’s players definitely responded to him against Chelsea.
There was a clear change in what they did. They basically just went alehouse. 4-4-2 and lots of long balls to Calvert-Lewin who battered the two Chelsea centre backs all day. The rest of the team fed off that and it was proper dogs of war stuff. Hopefully they keep that up and Ferguson gets the job full time, because it would be great fun watching that all unravel.
Things had gotten so completely out of hand at Everton that it had reached a point where it just didn't feel right mocking them, but maybe if they get a little new lease of life for a few weeks under Dunc I'll feel less of an arlarse taking the piss?
His Mr Motivator style could get them some nice short term results but there’s nothing in the world can convince me that Duncan is going to have the tactical acumen to be a long term success in that job.
It’d be like us giving the job to Andy Carroll, because that’s basically who he is. Big hard target man, injury prone, likes a pint, sledge hammer left foot, scored a few derby goals…. one club’s flop is another club’s legend. Vive le difference!
You know what though? I kind of felt happy for Ferguson. Seriously, I did. I’m not taking the piss. When he was celebrating the goals by hugging the ball boys, there was a part of me that felt pleased for him as that kind of unbridled joy and emotion is what football should be all about. Good for him.
Everton being Everton though, it was still cringey as fuck at times. I couldn’t stop laughing at some of the things I saw. It sounded like they actually have their own recording of “Go West”. Did they record it specifically for this game, or did they dust it off from back when he was a player?
It was played before and after kick off, and Kenwright, God love him, was joining in with it. He was sat there joining in with all the songs in fact (unlike Moshiri, or ‘Mister’ Moshiri as the Blues all bizarrely call him), and if he’d had a piano in front of him you’d have sworn it was Elton John.
Chelsea seemed to be unprepared for Everton’s intensity and they were basically just outfought. They played some nice football and for long periods I thought they’d go on to win the game, but in the end Everton just wanted it more.
Richarlison had put them ahead early, and two Calvert-Lewin strikes either side of an effort from Kovacic (the one Chelsea player who really looked good) gave them a deserved three points that took them out of the bottom three into 14th. It’s tight as fuck down there and no-one in the bottom half can feel safe.
Lampard was livid afterwards and so he should be. His team played like Arsenal, and no-one wants that. Maybe he should have had them better prepared though? Getting bullied by Calvert-Lewin and his overly snug little tightey whitey shorts just should never happen.
Big Dunc was kicking every ball (as opposed to every opponent) on the touchline and the Blues were loving it, even though they’ve spent the last three years sneering about Klopp doing it. Hypocrites.
You know what the funniest thing about the whole game was though? At the end when Dunc was celebrating and clenching his fists, and we saw that he was actually wearing fucking sweatbands on his wrists! Bet he had shinnies on too, the mad bastard.
He was holding back tears at full time when he went onto the pitch and everyone was singing his name. Normally I’d find something snarky to say about that, but I’m getting soft in my old age as when I saw it my reaction was “ah that’s a nice moment for him”.
When did I mellow towards him? I couldn’t stand him when he played, yet here I am being pleased for him because he’s led them to victory as a manager. I think it might be the whole ‘beating the shit out of burglars’ thing that won me over. So yeah, turns out I don’t dislike Duncan Ferguson anymore. Who knew?
You know who I do have complete disdain for these days though? Theo Walcott. I’m not even sure why. He’s a complete irrelevance, the most pointless player in football, and he shot;don’t even be on my radar. Yet any time I look at him now I’m just full of contempt.
Just look at the fucking state of him, groomed to within an inch of his fucking life. Maybe spend less time manicuring the hair and beard and more time practising your shooting, you fucking useless, under-achieving turd. He should still be at Arsenal really, because he’s just about the most Arsenal player ever.
Speaking of Arsenal, they finally won a game as West Ham reverted back to being West Ham after their stunning upset win at Chelsea a week earlier. That was the Monday night game, so I didn’t watch it because Arsenal just make me irrationally annoyed whenever I watch them. Massive fucking shithouses.
People slag off the Arsenal Fan TV crew but that’s easy to say when you’re not having to pay fortunes to watch that team of snivelling, preening little bottle jobs on a weekly basis. It’s good from an LFC perspective that Arsenal are completely out of the picture these days, yet despite the benefit to us even I hate those Arsenal players (except Bellerin, who today tweeted #fuckboris so he's alright), so I can only imagine how their fans must feel.
Meanwhile, Spurs scored some great goals as they routed Burnley at White Hart Lane. Kane hit a couple of crackers, Sissoko scored a nice one, Moura bagged a tap in and Son scored a goal of the season contender.
It was the speed that did the damage. Burnley are just painfully slow and got exposed time and again. Going forward is where it’s most noticeable. Watching the highlights of this I was reminded of that scene from Full Metal Jacket. “Private Pile, you climb walls like old people fuck”. That’s how Burnley counter attack. So fucking slow.
Mind you, they’re just as slow going the other way. Son ran the length of the field past about half a dozen of their players. Great goal and I’m taking nothing away from Son, but that’s some embarrassing shit from Burnley. Sissoko did the same thing for his goal, only there was a one two involved in his.
Spurs look like they’re enjoying themselves so far under Mourinho. That’s usually the way until he starts annoying the fuck out of everybody after a year or two.
Watford remain bottom after failing to beat Palace at home. They had the better of the chances but couldn’t take any of them. Saying nothing else because we play them this weekend.
Staying down at the bottom, Tettey gave Norwich the lead at home to Sheffield United, but as they seem to have done so often this season the Blades came from behind to get something as Enda Stephens headed in at the back post and then the other wing back Baldock fired them ahead. Really nice goal that.
Basham was sent off and then allowed back on after VAR ruled it should only be a yellow. I think VAR just about got that right, but we’re on dodgy ground if these subjective decisions are being handled in this way. Let the ref on the field look at it and decide if he wants to overturn his own decision.
Norwich fans were singing ‘this ain’t football anymore’ and they’re right. We actually spend more time complaining about VAR than we ever did with refereeing decisions.
At St James' Park Danny Ings scored again and was giving it to the Newcastle fans for some reason. Not sure what his beef is there but needless to say I’m all in favour of it.
Newcastle’s equaliser was quality. Shelvey tried to pick out Carroll with a deep cross but it was headed away. Carroll ran out to retrieve it and whipped in a stunning cross onto the head of…. Shelvey. Love that.
Newcastle won it in the last minute when the keeper couldn’t hold a shot from Longstaff and Fernandez followed up to score. Huge three points for the Geordies and another terrible loss for Southampton.
Their manager was whining afterwards that his team was the only one playing football and all Newcastle did was hit it long to Carroll because he’s ten foot tall. And did every other team that’s beaten you have a ten foot tall forward then? No. You lost, again. It’s on you, how Newcastle chose to play is their business, not yours.
Brighton and Wolves shared the spoils at the Amex. Jimenez and Jota combined for a lovely opening goal and linked up again soon after for what should been a second. Matt Ryan made an impressive save though. Good keeper him.
Brighton equalised with a first time effort from the edge of the box by Maupay. Keeper should have done better but it was a well taken goal. Propper then headed Brighton in front a minute later.
Propper turned from hero to villain soon after when his sloppy pass led to Jota scoring his second of the day and that’s how it finished.
The biggest game of the weekend was the Manc derby on Saturday evening. United won it, and if I were the kind of guy to say “I told you so” then right now I’d be saying “I told you so”. But I’m not that kind of… oh who am I trying to kid, of course I am. I fucking told you didn’t I?
I bet you didn’t believe me last week when I said United would win, but I knew there was a good chance of it happening simply because I’ve watched so much Man City football over the past 12 months I feel like I know them inside out. And what I’m seeing from them recently is that they aren’t the same team anymore.
They’re still top class, but their level has dropped a notch and the aura of invincibility has gone because they can’t defend.
United cut them to pieces, with Rashford in particular giving City nightmares. He won and scored a penalty to open the scoring. Anthony Taylor somehow missed it, but Michael Oliver on the VAR made sure justice was done. It’s rare to see the VAR ref overturn the on field official, but maybe Oliver was thinking about Anfield and “THANK YOU VERY MUCH”.
I would be if I was him. Oliver had a fine game that day at Anfield but because Guardiola made a twat of him on the pitch at the end nobody spoke about that. Instead, everyone was discussing his decisions and VAR and trying to make out there was some controversy.
You wouldn’t be human if you didn’t bear some kind of grudge after that, so if that was in his head when he over-ruled Taylor, then who can blame him. Not me. You reap what you sew.
The real question here is how the fuck did Taylor not give it? It was a blatant foul, there’s no hint of a dive, Bernardo just went crashing into Rashford.
Ten fucking penalties they’ve had this season though. TEN! They’re becoming the new Crystal Palace. Guardiola saw his arse about that decision and he got even more wound up about two ‘handballs’ that didn’t go his way at the other end. Again, the officials were spot on.
He’s such a crying cunt when things don’t go his way. It doesn’t really get talked about enough, probably because so little has gone against him as they’ve been so dominant, but any time they don’t win he’s usually throwing toys out of the pram. Such a bellend.
United absolutely destroyed City in that first half and should have led by four or five. I did call it last week, I said they’d win 3-2 because the speed and skill they have on the break would slice City open, but even I didn’t expect it to be as easy as it looked. Martial added a second and they wasted countless other opportunities.
City toiled away in the second half and had a few half chances, but when they eventually scored through an Otamendi header five minutes from time it almost came out of the bus as it never felt like they were going to score. After that they had a little flurry and could have equalised, but if they’d nicked a point it would have been daylight robbery.
There’s something broken about City. They’ve dropped off at least 10% from the level they were at and it’s not a temporary thing either. This is their new reality now. They’re a fraction slower and don’t press as intensely as they did, and that leaves them wide open to anyone who knows how defend well and counter attack intelligently.
Wolves did it to them, we did it to them and now United have. Chelsea did it too but didn’t take their chances and paid the price. City are 14 points back and although none of us want to say it for fear of it coming back to haunt us, that gap is more likely to grow than shrink.
They’ll still win most of their games because they play brilliant football and can score for fun, but I’m no longer concerned that they can reel off 14 or 15 wins on the bounce because they just look too vulnerable at the back. Laporte returning will help with that but one man isn’t going to fix it.
Their fans aren’t handling it well are they? They embarrassed themselves with some shameful behaviour and it wasn’t just that one racist twat either. All the focus is on him but he wasn’t the only one acting the cunt.
We all saw Fred being racially abused by that scumbag (except the two stewards stood either side of him and looking right at him), but he was also pelted with coins as he went to take a corner. Sterling stood and watched, while David Silva and Mahrez went over to check on the United player and plead with the fans to stop.
That incident says a lot about those three City players for me, but I’m not going to dwell on it because there seems to be a lot of people gleefully putting the boot into Sterling over this and it’s pretty distasteful. He isn’t the story here, the cunt making the monkey gestures is.
Still, could be worse, he could have lashed a bottle of Kopparberg at a bus. Where's your moral high ground now, Citeh? Pricks.
The result and performance will have some thinking that United have turned a corner. They haven’t. A week earlier they were held at home by Villa. This is who they are. They’re basically what we’ve been for much of the last 30 years.
They have some talented players, some players who aren’t good enough and some who are somewhere in between. What that means is you’ll play well sometimes, you might raise your game against the better teams, but won’t have the consistency required to challenge for anything. United fans still don’t see it though. But then we didn’t either. You always think you just need a player or two.
They’re all buzzing off Wan-Bissaka now, bless them. I saw one of them tweeting a clip of him hitting a high hopeful punt to the edge of the box and they captioned it “Trent who?”. Pretty sure it wasn’t done in a jokey way either. Pick your battles lads, because that’s not one you have a chance of winning.
I also saw something claiming that no United player has beaten Wan-Bissaka in a one v one in training all season. Yeah, that’s because they’re all fucking shite. Wan-Bissaka is basically just a tall Paul Parker. Great defensively but offers nothing going forward.
Results like this are good, not just because it’s always nice to see City humbled, but because it will keep United thinking that Solksjaer might be the man for the job. I quite like him you know. I don’t want to, but he just seems like a decent fella.
I liked his little dig about City in the build up to this and I like how last season he drew attention to their tactical fouling. Mostly though I just think he isn’t the twat I wanted to believe he was. Maybe he’s just doing a good job of hiding it, but the mask would normally have slipped by now.
What the fuck is wrong with me, I’m saying nice things about Duncan Ferguson and Old Gunnar Solskjaer. Never thought I’d see the day. Wonder if in 10 years time I’ll be praising Richarlison and Iheanacho?
Speaking of Iheanacho, the cunt scored again this weekend as Leicester smashed Villa on Sunday. I had hoped Villa might do something in that game, with it being a Midlands derby game and with Ron Saunders having passed away the day before. I thought maybe they’d be right up for it, but they were shite.
They started the game well and had chances, but they fell behind when Tyrone Mings pulled a hammy and decided to try and play on. A minute later, he’s stood there watching as Vardy runs in behind him to make it 1-0. Mings by name, Ming by nature.
Vardy almost fucked up the finish and the Villa fans had started to goad him, but the ball fell nicely for him and he finished at the second attempt, and then stood in the net grinning and cupping both of his ears in front of the Holte End. Top trolling again from the master.
Maddison’s brilliant cross was then turned in at the near post by Iheanacho. That was only his third Premier League goal for Leicester. He’s been there three fucking years, the bum. It would be four if he wasn’t a corrupt match fixing little twat.
Grealish pulled one back and at this point there was a distinct possibility I’d be affording him ‘my boy’ status, but a thumping header by Johnny Evans followed by another from Vardy rounded off an easy win for Leicester, who moved six points ahead of City.
Nothing personal, but Leicester need to fuck off. Take them out of the equation and we’d be 14 points clear. Instead we’re only eight ahead. It’s not exactly cause for alarm, but it’s something that we need to keep an eye on because we play them soon and if they keep winning then they’ll have the chance to get that gap down to two points if they can beat us.
Mad to think that they play City in a couple of weeks and I’m going to be playing Oasis all week and rooting for my mate Pep and his boys to take care of business. Who could have seen that coming? Vardy will probably run riot against them though.
All that said, I did see someone on Twitter make the point that if City were in second place then Leicester being eight points back wouldn’t even be on our radar, and that’s true I think. We shouldn’t be worrying about Leicester, not yet anyway.
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