You know what the craziest thing about this season has been so far? This weekend, before we beat Wolves, Manchester United were within TWO POINTS of us. And if they win their game in hand they’ll be back within two points of us. How the fuck did that happen?
The last time I looked they were bottom half, and every other week they seem to have a bad result that has “Ole on the brink”. Goldbridge is having meltdowns on a regular basis yet there they were, two points back from us. Sneaky manc bastards.
Honestly, it shocked me to my core seeing them that close to us. Have the Premier League started handing them points as well as penalties now? It’s completely mental. I genuinely can’t get my head around it. They’re actually above Man City, who they play this week. I reckon they’ll beat them too as it’s a terrible match up for City in terms of playing styles.
I honestly don’t get it because everyone knows they aren’t very good and they’ve just been dumped out of the Champions League after losing to a team they beat 5-0 a few weeks ago. But we’re only two points ahead of them?
You know why that is? Fucking VAR and refs robbing us of four points while gifting them pens every week, that’s why.
United came from behind yet again to win away at West Ham at the weekend. The Hammers flew out of the traps and had an early goal ruled out for offside. They then hit the woodwork before Soucek eventually gave them the lead. As I keep saying, he scores every week yet somehow never shows up in the top scorers list. It’s one of those weird football anomalies, like Man United behind two points behind us despite losing every second game.
Haller should have made it 2-0 when he ran through, rounded Henderson and then was felled by the turf monster in front of an empty net. Incredible let off that. United’s famed good luck hasn’t gone anywhere even if their quality has.
Bowen also missed an open goal and West Ham paid a heavy price for their wastefulness as Pogba thumped one in from 20 yards. That’ll give his army of FIFA virgin fans enough ammo to argue his brilliance with the rest of us for another six months until he eventually does something good again. He might not be playing for United when he does though, not if his cunt agent’s comments this week are anything to go by.
I mean fucking hell, what’s going on there? Pogba finally has a decent game and does something to give the fans a bit of hope, and the agent then comes out ahead of a massively important Champions League game and says “that’s the end for Paul at United”.
Solskjaer understandably benched him and wouldn’t say afterwards that he hoped Pogba would stay in January. I’d never pick the twat again if it were me, as he’s just not good enough to make you overlook all the bullshit.
That goal shouldn’t have even counted as the ball looked well out from Henderson’s clearance. The lino wasn’t even looking and although VAR checked it they didn’t have the same etch a sketch technology they use for offsides, and because it’s United they allowed it to stand.
And after that West Ham collapsed. Greenwood scored a brilliant goal to make it 2-1 and Rashford added a third after earlier hitting the post.
As we know, Moyes has never seen a decision he couldn’t complain about but this time he had a case. As he pointed out, he had the best view of that ball as he was stood on the touchline and saw it go out as it sailed over his head. The linesman was literally looking the other way though as he was checking for offside, which is his job so I wouldn’t blame him too much there. VAR though…. Absolute joke.
So another incredibly lucky break for the Mancs but it’s only masking their flaws. They’re not a well coached team at all. There’s no real discernible style of play or identity to United, they just seem to have moments of quality from talented individuals and they’re handed penalties on a fucking plate in almost every game.
Even the other night in Europe they were handed a lifeline with an outrageously shit penalty decision. It was bad enough that it was given in the first place but how that decision was allowed to stand after being checked by the video is genuinely suspicious. Honestly, how can they give a penalty for that?
What’s going on with all these pens they’re getting? Imagine how furious everyone would be if they were any good. Because they’re not really a threat to anyone it’s generally laughed off now. “Hahaha look they got another ridiculous penalty”. It’s not going to be funny if this continues when they eventually appoint a capable manager though. We saw that for decades under Ferguson.
Here’s a question for you; who’ll go first - Solskjaer or Arteta? Touch and go for me. The heat is really cranking up on Arteta now but the word seems to be that the board will back him because he’s the man they wanted and they are determined to give him time to turn it around. Will that still be the case if they lose, say, three of their next four or something?
I’ll get to their loss at Spurs shortly but I have noticed that the natives are getting restless and good ol’ Troopz has already nailed his flag to the “Arteta Out” mast. DT is still blaming Bellerin for everything though. AFTV has been good viewing of late, it always is when they’re losing, but I’m not down with the ad breaks every two minutes. Robbie is getting greedy now. Pulling an Aubamayeng, taking the way money and not being bothered about how it looks.
It really is incredible how Aubamayeng’s form plummeted almost the second he signed that deal. It was as though he was playing for a move, it didn’t materialise and he’s just taken the money and gone into semi-retirement. Has he even scored since he signed that contract?
His strike rate is so bad he could be playing for Sheffield United, who suffered a heartbreaking injury time loss at home to Leicester. It looked like they would pick up their second point of the season but Vardy popped up to steal it at the death with your standard Vardy goal, before breaking the corner flag in half in celebration.
Vardy lives for winding up rival fans and with him being a Wednesday fan this will have been bittersweet. He’ll have loved the goal but been gutted there were no fans to taunt. Imagine what he’d have done in a full stadium? I reckon he’d have been helicoptering his cock like that Newcastle fan in the cup last year.
The Blades did actually score a goal in this one though so that’s progress at least. They trailed to a goal by that loser Ayoze Perez but McBurnie equalised almost immediately. They could have won it but they didn’t, and their record since football came back after lockdown is staggeringly shit when compared to how they are doing before.
They might be missing fans as much as anyone (other than Vardy, obviously). They’ve got a good crowd and my guess is they’d still be backing Wilder and the players even now. Wilder is loved up there for the job he’s done and I can’t see their crowd turning on him no matter what happens. He might get sacked or even walk away himself but it won’t be because the fans are kicking off. Kind of like how Huddersfield’s fans were with Klopp’s mate when things had turned to shit for them.
The ying to the Sheffield United yang are West Ham, who have been flying since fans were banned from stadiums. They were 5th going into their game with the Mancs but as soon as the fans are back they start losing again. Something to keep an eye on there.
Chelsea’s good run continued with a 3-1 win over Leeds despite falling behind to a great goal by my boy Bamford. Fantastic pass by Phillips and a composed finish by the man in form. He spent five years at Chelsea but he celebrated the goal anyway as he’s not worried about Burning Bridges. There’ll be No Apologies from him, that’s for sure as he’ll have wanted to show them he was The One that Got Away.
He was undoubtedly a talent when he was at Chelsea but he never quite managed to Breakout while he was there before they gave him the Bullet. Now he looks a proper player though, probably because he’s Just Older. Anyway, quite the Comeback for Paddy. Who Says You Can’t Go Home?
Ok ok I’m done.
What about ol’ no finesse Timo though eh? Not only did he try to steal a goal from Big Handsome Giroud on the line, he somehow managed to miss despite having TWO bites at it from less than a foot out. His first attempt was from virtually on the line itself but he only succeeded in knocking it away from goal, then with his second go he hit it against the bar.
Big Handsome Olly showed him how it’s done by converting a James cross to fire Chelsea level. Werner was denied by a great double save by the young Leeds keeper (he makes at least one incredible save every week it feels like) but from the resulting corner Zouma headed Chelsea in front.
Werner then missed another one v one when the keeper denied him. He needs a million chances to score him. You don’t see that on all those youtube compilations of his goals for Leipzig. I stand by everything I’ve ever said about him. I’m glad we didn’t sign him, not least because Jota is a better fit for us and doesn’t need a dozen chances to score one goal.
Leeds should have had a penalty when Poveda was kicked by Chilwell but because he stayed on his feet he didn’t get it. It was at least as much of a penalty as the one conceded by Robbo at Brighton, probably even more so because the Leeds player still had the ball. This is exactly why strikers go to ground, because you ain’t getting any decision if you don’t. I’m not saying that it’s right, but it’s completely understandable. Bielsa should probably have a word with Poveda as he did his team out of a pen there by being honest.
It was costly because it was only 2-1 at that moment and Leeds then conceded a third on the break because they had to throw men forward. Werner got in down the right and crossed for Pulisic to finish the game from close range. Chelsea deserved the win based on chances but Leeds played well again.
Who are the bigger threat to us, Spurs or Chelsea? It’s an interesting one. Chelsea have better players ut Spurs have a better manager. Chelsea look really dangerous right now as they aren’t hampered by injuries and their squad depth is probably better than anyone at the moment. Look at their bench against Leeds; Rudiger, Jorginho, Abraham, Pulisic, Kovacic, Azpilicueta.
Are they more of a threat than Man City? Nah, I’m not willing to go there. Not yet anyway. I still think Lampard will find a way to fuck things up for them.
City beat Fulham 2-0 with goals from Sterling and a De Bruyne pen. The only surprise is they didn’t score more. They should have as they absolutely murdered Fulham. Sterling could have scored six but his finishing was as bad as his haircut.
Onto the North London Derby now, or NLD as I saw it being called on Twitter. Fuck. That. Shit.
2,000 Spurs fans were allowed in and one of them told BBC before the game “this is better than winning the lottery. I’d rather be here than win the £15m”. Stupid cunt. If you won £15m on the lottery you could buy your way in and still have millions in the bank. If I didn’t want them to lose before this I would defo have wanted them to lose after hearing that fucking nonsense.
They were never going to lose though. Mourinho is not going to get turned over by Arteta and this sorry Arsenal side. There was just no way that was happening and this was the biggest banker of the weekend. Mourinho was in his fucking element here. He let Arsenal have the ball and waited for them to make the mistakes he knew they would.
Son made it 1-0 early on with a screamer and Kane doubled their lead with another brilliant goal on the break. The second half was a snooze fest as Mourinho even admitted afterwards that they had no need to attack so they didn’t. Dull as fuck to watch but that’s what he’s built his career on so he’s never going to be any different. You don’t want to fall behind to these cunts.
Arsenal are fucking useless and so am I because I’m fairly sure I tipped them to finish in the top four. Terrible business that. Arteta fooled me into thinking that maybe Arsenal had discovered a bit of a backbone.
Narrator’s voice: They hadn’t.
West Brom suffered a humiliating home defeat to Palace in which they even allowed Benteke to score. TWICE! Kinell. In fairness they did have a man sent off early on and then they kept getting caught on the break by Zaha, who ran riot.
Zaha created the opener with a low cross that was turned into his own net by Furlong, who almost made amends at the other end soon after but was denied by the woodwork. He then created the equaliser with a cutback for Gallagher who scored for the second game running.
The Baggies were on top at this point but then came the sending off. It was soft as fuck. Maybe he did kick out slightly at Van Aanholt after being flattened, but there was certainly no force behind it and from one camera angle it actually looks almost unavoidable. His feet were raised but he doesn’t actually kick him. On another day he gets away with it.
He was initially yellow carded, which was probably a result of the lack of reaction by Van Aanholt than anything else. He initially looked like he was going to make a big deal of it but then he just walked away, which may have made the ref take a lenient view. VAR had other ideas though and Pereira was off.
The issue here is consistency. I seem to remember Maguire doing similar only worse and getting away with it. This is what frustrates people. You’ll see the same thing happen in the next few weeks and the player won’t be sent off.
Zaha curled one in to make it 2-1 and then Benteke headed in a cutback by Van Aanholt. Zaha bagged a second after a good run by Eze and Benteke wrapped it up with a nice turn and finish. I’m happy for Benteke as he’s had an inexplicably shit run. People mock him but he was a fucking good player who just went inexplicably bad. I hope he comes out of it and starts scoring regularly again.
Southampton beat Brighton on Monday night but again the main talking point was VAR. The Saints winner was a penalty that probably wasn’t in the box and didn’t even look like a foul anyway.
Gross had given Brighton the lead from the spot after Ward-Prowse had handled. Vestergard headed the Saints back on terms and then Ings won it with that dodgy penalty. No sympathy for Brighton though, now they know how it fucking feels.
Finally, Everton’s title charge suffered another setback as they were held to a draw at Burnley. Their season ended when they crocked two of our lads and stole a point in the derby. The deckchairs have been out ever since. Cunts.
Brady but Burnley ahead but Calvert-Lewin levelled with a trademark tap in. Said it before, he’s the new John Aldridge. All of his goals come within the width of the six yard box and a fair percentage of them are within the length of it too. Not a criticism, just an observation.
You know who I’m not having at all? Dwight McNeil. Sick of hearing how he’s a ‘talented young player’. The only reason anyone says that is because he’s the only young player Burnley ever pick. Their team was always full of lads in their late twenties or older, so when McNeill appeared everyone was taken aback by him and fooled into thinking he must be good.
The fact he’s the only Burnley player who could beat a tortoise in a foot race also helped his reputation, but he gets a lot more praise than his performances justify.
He isn’t very good. You know why? Because he’s another one of those attacking players that scores two goals a season. He’s scored five goals in 70 appearances. Shite that. He’s Stewart Downing only not as good.
As for Everton, well Ancelotti is setting all kinds of records for himself there. Lowest ever league position as a manager, longest streak without a win, those kind of things. Once Everton has touched you….
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