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Premier League Round Up (Aug 31 - Sep 1 2024)

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I’ll start with Arsenal, seeing how all week my twitter for you tab has been absolutely infested with whining Gooners going massively overboard about what was essentially a correct decision.

 

I’ve seen it described by various Arsenal fans as “the worst decision in Premier League history” while countless others have spent their entire week looking for videos of non-Arsenal players escaping yellow cards for kicking the ball away. What fucking whiny bastards they are. Worst fanbase on social media.

 

If they’re not posting their shitty little video compilations showing how their ‘Starboy’ is better than Salah, or how Saliba is better than Van Dijk, they’re just being absolute crying cunts. I blame Arsenal Fan TV for creating that culture. That Troopz helmet showed up on my for you tab too, ranting and raving about the sending off and then calling out Edu for not buying a midfielder who can step in for Rice.

 

All week it’s felt like I’m in the twilight zone. Imagine how these fucking babies would have reacted if they’d been on the wrong end of the Diaz decision at Spurs last season. Jesus Christ, they’d have taken twitter down completely with their crying. Actually, that sounds like a plan. Come on Darren England, do your thing and let’s remove both Musk and whining Gooners from our lives. It’s the least you owe us.

 

Anyway, Arsenal were leading Brighton 1-0 at the Emirates thanks to a first half strike by Havertz. Then came the disgraceful, disgusting, most corrupt, appalling decision you'll ever see. Poor old Arsenal, why does this stuff only ever happen to them? It's a conspiracy to stop them winning the league.

 

The ball is near the Brighton corner flag and Rice fouls Veltman. Rice was on a booking after a first half lunge on the same player, but he stupidly decided to knock the ball away to prevent Veltman taking a free-kick. He knew what he was doing and it’s the kind of shit Arsenal do all the time because Arteta has turned them into a right cynical bunch of bastards. That’s fine, if you want to do that then do it, but don’t cry about it when referees actually do something about it.

 

Rice didn’t prevent the free-kick, it’s just that the ‘free kick’ was on him, as Veltman just wildly fucking booted him. Arsenal fans wanted a red card for Veltman and on first viewing it does look wild. It’s only when you see the replay it’s clear what happened, so credit to Kavanagh for not needing the replay and spotting it in real time.

 

If Rice doesn’t kick the ball away then Veltman boots it upfield. There’s no ball there though and Veltman boots Rice, who has inserted his leg where the ball was. I don’t think Veltman is completely innocent here though. I’m not saying he booted Rice deliberately as I don’t think he would have had time to make that decision. But he was defo trying to take the free-kick while Rice was in the way in the hope of getting him booked, and he succeeded.

 

The whole thing is just hilarious, not least because of how Arsenal fans have reacted to it. So what if Rice got sent off? You were 1-0 up at home and could have just seen the game out, but instead you conceded and dropped two points. If Rice wasn’t trying to be a smart arse when he was already on a yellow then it wouldn’t have happened. He knows that, as he apologised to his team-mates afterwards. If this was such an egregious decision then why is he apologising? Because he knows it wasn’t. He gave the ref little choice.

 

Fair play to Rice though, these comments are completely in character as I think he’s a good lad (shitty yoghurt adverts notwithstanding).

 

“That's my first [career] sending off, so I just wanted to apologise obviously to my teammates, which I've done, and to the fans.

 

"When you get sent off, it's never nice, you get a sense of guilt over you, and I was lucky today that my teammates really helped me out and we didn't lose the game. I'll learn from it.

 

“I’ve not sprinted over and smashed the ball away, I've touched the ball with the outside of my foot. But look, this is the laws of the game. If you touch ball away, even a little bit, obviously it's a red card after my challenge in the first half which I fully accept was a 50-50 that I didn't win.

 

"But the second half one, especially with it being in the corner flag, they can't really progress anywhere from there. It was tough, it was harsh, but it's one of those things."

 

I don’t disagree with any of that. It’s soft as fuck and the punishment seems harsh, but let's not forget that he didn’t get a red for kicking the ball away. He got a yellow, which became a red because it was his second. So stop with this “he got sent off for nudging the ball a few inches” shite. I think it’s good to see him taking responsibility for it instead of bleating about it like it’s the greatest injustice in the history of the game. Have a word with yourselves Arsenal fans, you’re pathetic.

 

Remember I said last week about maybe having to put some respect on Danny Welcrap’s name if he continued scoring against teams I don’t like? Well he didn’t score in this game but I did love the way he casually got involved in that incident and commented to the ref “that’s a second yellow”. He was right, it was.

 

I saw Arsenal fans whining about that too, because he’s a former Arsenal player apparently he shouldn’t be getting involved. One of them said “we won’t forget this”. Yeah I’m sure he’s fucking terrified of you tweeting from your ma’s spare room.

 

Arsenal fans don’t have a leg to stand on over that second yellow card for Rice, but the legitimate gripe they do have is that Brighton’s goalscorer, Joao Pedro, kicked the ball away in the first half and wasn’t booked for it. The inconsistency of it is fucking ridiculous, but not all kicking the ball away offences are equal and how far you kick it doesn’t really matter. Pedro was chasing a ball that ran out of play and he just leathered it as it rolled over the touchline. That happens all the time and it’s sometimes a yellow and sometimes not. This one was in the first half when Brighton were behind so he wasn’t time wasting and he wasn’t trying to prevent a quick restart. It just depends how the ref interprets it, but Kavanagh got that badly wrong and should have booked him.

 

The main difference between the two incidents is that Rice did it when Arsenal were in front and he was trying to stop a quick free-kick, so there is a difference whether Arsenal fans like it or not. And of course they don’t, because they’re whiny little bitches. Here’s the thing though. Kavanagh got it wrong and should have booked Joao Pedro, but if he had done it still would not have changed the Rice situation.

 

So two points dropped at home by Arsenal, which is good for us and probably explains how hysterical their fans have been about it. They are battle scarred now having twice gone head to head with City and experienced just how costly any dropped points are when you’re trying to finish above them. They need to be worrying about us as well now though. They’ve fallen behind us and I’ll call it now, they won’t go above us again at any point this season unless they’ve played more games than us. How’s that for a prediction?

 

Here’s another one for you based on what I’ve seen in the first three games; we’ll absolutely murder Brighton when we play them because their line is so high it makes Spurs look like a Tony Pulis coached team. When they don’t have pressure on the ball they’re so open it’s ridiculous. Great team to watch though, and I really like the look of Minteh.


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This City thing for me has a faint smell of a "deal done" if they are found guilty, heavy fine and a not too damaging points deduction 

They are clearly trying to get their shit sorted with Gundogan back and young Alvarez out.

How thin is their squad now, couple of key injuries? 

Just feel the outcome will be a damp squib and we won't get the justice we all deserve.

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It’s not that he’s a great manager, but it’s like Fat Sam isn’t it? He’s a specialist. He knows how to work with shite and he’s comfortable being elbow deep in it. Not everyone can do that, some don’t have the stomach for it and end up throwing up everywhere because of the smell, but Dyche just ploughs right in there and gets on with it.

 

Hahahahahahaha!

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The approach to reporting on City matches is spot on. Love it. The only time we need to hear about them is if we’ve played them or they get beat. I never watch them either. 

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