Great comedy is all about timing. That explains why this was one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen. In fact, can’t remember the last time I laughed so hard. I'm laughing now as I type.
We’ve had more than our fair share of last gasp derby winners to leave the Blues devastated and heart broken and usually my reaction to them is just to celebrate and go nuts. This was different. For a couple of seconds I went mad, euphorically jumping around in jubilation as you do. Then I just stood there laughing. Uncontrollably. To the point that my stomach began to hurt.
I’m still laughing now and will be for a good while yet. It doesn’t get much better than that, and I doubt we’ll ever see an ending that funny ever again. This was an all timer, make no mistake. It's all about the timing, you see.
A chant of “Murderers” echoed out from the away end. Purple smoke billowed out too, from flares that had been let off by Evertonians to celebrate what they thought was a famous draw. Trent played a hopeful ball into the box, Everton cleared it and the game looked to be over when Van Dijk tried a ridiculously ambitious volley that ballooned straight up into the air towards the Kop.
Virgil turned away in disgust and my frustration spilled over as I yelled “what the fuck was that!”. And then it happened. Perhaps the best moment in Merseyside Derby history. If not the best, certainly the funniest.
The ball began dropping down out of orbit and it became apparent that maybe it might just stay in play. Yep, it’s going to drop on the bar so we could get a corner out of this. Wait, what the fuck? It’s bouncing on the bar! There’s Divock, could he…. YEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!
Un-fuckin-believable. No wonder they hate us. Imagine having to deal with what they’ve had to deal with. No wins at Anfield since 1999 and so many last gasp goals home and away to leave them broken hearted. I almost feel sorry for them. Almost.
I heard that “Murderers” chant and saw them throwing stuff at Trent. That Richarlison cunt (I was first on that bandwagon, I hated him even when he was at Watford) had tried to start a scuffle with Gomez to waste more time, and it gave the rabid Blue hordes the opportunity to spew their bile.
“Come on Reds, one last chance here. Fucking shut these pricks up” I held out little hope, but that was the thought I had when Trent prepared to take the free-kick. Little could I have imagined what was to follow. A freak winning goal in the time added on after added time because of all the time they had wasted. Poetic that.
Something that has maybe gotten a little lost in all this was the presence of mind Alisson had to run out of his goal and play the free-kick into the path of Trent to allow him to get up the pitch and deliver the ball from a more favourable angle. A little thing, but it mattered.
The big keeper was boss all day. He needed to be in the first half because Everton caused us problems. It’s probably the best they’ve played at Anfield in 20 years, but people have gone overboard about it I think. They didn’t deserve to win so let’s throw that bullshit hot take out of the window here and now.
A draw would have been fair, but despite this ‘fantastic’ Everton performance we had more of the ball and twice as many chances as they did, despite not playing anywhere near our best.
Just because they’ve set themselves such a low bar with their hideous Anfield performances, people have gotten carried away with how good they were. I’ll give credit where it’s due. They played well and look a much better side than they’ve been in a long time.
That being said, they barely troubled us at all in the second half and the chances they had were all in the first half. One of them was offside too. I’d have been fuming if that had gone in, but thankfully Mina fluffed his lines and headed wide.
The other two chances they had would probably have ended up in the net had we not spent the cash on upgrading the keeper position last summer. Alisson made a great save to deny Andre Gomes from point blank range, but he also needed a brilliant goal-line clearance from Joey G to prevent the follow up going in.
Alisson was called into action again when he was out quickly at the feet of Walcott and just did enough to put him off by getting a hand on the ball and knocking Walcott out of his stride.
Apart from that, what did Everton do? I remember an awful shot from Bernard in the second half when it briefly opened up for him, but that’s about it.
As for us, we were never fluent but we created several gilt edged chances that we didn’t take. At times we put together some really nice moves, we were just not able to sustain it and build up any kind of momentum.
Mané fired over after a nice interchange of passes and Shaqiri wasted a glorious chance after a good bit of pressing by Fabinho. He has to score there though, it was a bad, bad miss.
Sadio wasted another chance after the break and was then unlucky with a curling effort that flew just wide. Salah also rolled one wide and Origi hit the bar. We also had a decent penalty shout when Sigurdsson blocked a shot with his elbow. So this 'great Everton performance' is a bit of a myth. We were the better side even though we were well below par.
The result is all important and the manner in which it was achieved almost makes up for how we played. It’s very satisfying when we batter them but there’s a lot to be said for wins like this too. These are the ones we’ll remember with the greatest fondness I think. This has eclipsed the Gary Mac derby for me.
I wouldn’t change it for the world but that doesn’t mean I’m not concerned with how we’re playing. This is not sustainable. We can’t keep pulling results out of the fire like this, but the more it happens the more you start to think that maybe this means something. Teams who win things usually need games like this along the way. City last year are a notable exception and they've carried on into this season.
They are winning at a canter every week while we’re scrapping for everything and riding our luck at times. We needed a worldy from Studge to snatch a point at Chelsea. We needed Mahrez to miss a late pen to get a draw with City. We needed the ref to miss a clear foul in the box by Mané to hold onto a win at Spurs, and now we had this, one of the flukiest Derby goals ever, six minutes into injury time.
We can’t keep relying on things going our way like this, but if we click into gear then maybe at the end of the season we’ll look back on all of these things as being huge. Maybe. We'll see.
I don’t see how any Red can not be concerned about how we’re playing though. It just isn’t clicking, but we don’t concede anything so we’ve always got a chance. Five goals in 14 games. Brilliant.
It just doesn't look right though. Klopp went with 4-2-3-1 again and once more I’m left thinking this is solely about Shaqiri. It’s the only way he feels can get him into the side without leaving out one of the front three.
Maybe the time has come to leave out one of the front three though? Both Mo and Bobby were well below par in this one, although I thought Sadio was good other than his wasteful finishing. He was heavily involved and positive in everything he did. He was easily the pick of the forwards, but that wasn’t hard.
Firmino as a number ten just isn’t working and I don’t care how many German coaches are in the stands creaming themselves about him. Klopp can pull that on us as much as he likes, the implication being “well people who know football know how effective he is”.
Well I don’t really care if he’s dragging people around with his movement. That’s great and all, but when he’s passing the ball straight to the opposition and offering virtually no goal threat at all, then sorry, it’s not really enough is it?
I love Bobby. He makes us tick and other than Van Dijk he might be the most important player we have. He’s struggling at the moment though. Big time.
Yet Klopp left him on and brought Salah off first. I couldn’t believe that. Nor could Mo by the looks of it. He wasn’t happy, which is fair enough. He walked off the pitch slowly though, which isn’t fair enough. I’d bollock him for that. It’s 0-0. You get subbed, you fucking run off like Bobby did later when he got hooked. You don’t waste valuable time because you’ve got a titty lip on.
It was a strange substitution though and Everton will have been made up to see him go off and Sturridge come on. Defenders hate forwards who can run in behind them, and Mo is always a threat to do that. Studge has his attributes, but pace isn’t one of them. The obvious move was to put him on for Firmino, but it all worked out well in the end. Better to be lucky than good as they say.
The late winner was a punch in the face for Evertonians, but it was also a clip around the ear for City. “Oh you thought you had a four point cushion? Think again, knobheads". We’re still here, like the fucking T-1000 holding onto the back of their car as they try to speed away.
Bet City were cursing Pickford and his little arms when that goal went in. It was just an inexplicable lapse in judgement from him. He obviously didn’t want to give a corner away, which is funny because our set-pieces were a disgrace all day. By trying to avoid conceding a corner he’s handed us three points in the most comical circumstances ever. Couldn't happen to a more deserving little scrote. He's got the most Everton face ever him.
What a moment though. No wonder Klopp couldn’t contain himself. He ought to find himself in hot water over his pitch invasion. I’ve seen some of our fans trying to defend it, but to me it was massively disrespectful and completely out of order. I don’t know how anyone can even dispute that.
You just can’t do shit like that and I’m struggling to remember any other manager doing anything like it. We’ve seen Mourinho pull some shit, but not even he has gone that far. Klopp went charging onto the pitch celebrating like a loon, hugged the first player he reached and then ran off while continuing to celebrate like a loon. You just can’t defend that, sorry.
If an opposing manager did that against us I’d be fucking fuming. There’s no defence for what Klopp did and if he were to be given a touchline ban I don’t think he could have any complaints at all.
All that being said….
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
Without doubt, it’s one of the greatest things I’ve ever seen. Yeah it was wrong, it was completely out of order and disrespectful, but fuck me it was almost as funny as the goal itself. Not quite, but almost. I’m not going to defend it or try to make out it’s ok because "passion got the better of him". It’s no excuse, it was massively out of order.
However, unless you’re a Blue (or a Manc of either persuasion) then how can you not watch that and just laugh your head off? It was great. Whatever punishment he gets will be deserved, but it will also have been worth it. It’s an iconic Derby moment that we’ll tell our grandkids about.
I’m made up for Origi too. That’s a bit hypocritical of me given some of the things I’ve written about him over the past year or two, but I’m genuinely pleased for him as he’s had a tough time.
At one stage I really thought he was going to be something special, but he was never the same after that Funes Mori assault and I’d completely written him off. It reached a point where just seeing him on the pitch put me on a massive downer. He usually made us worse when he was on the pitch and I’d written him off.
Full disclosure, I watched him warming up at half time with the other subs (all except Sturridge, who I assumed was back in the dressing room with a hot water bottle) and I was thinking “how the fuck is he on the bench, are we that desperate?”
Yet despite all that, when I saw that Klopp was about to bring him on, I turned to my Dad and said “can’t believe I’m saying this, but about fucking time. He can’t do any worse can he?”.
I was all in on Origi being brought on just because Bobby had been so ineffective and at least Div would bring something completely different for Everton to worry about. And he did. The first thing he did was a positive run down the right that left a defender in his wake.
He put a good ball into the box too and it needed a timely intervention from Coleman to deny Mané. He then hit the bar from a yard out, but as critical as I’ve been of him, I honestly didn’t blame him for that as it was a difficult chance and he was unlucky. The ball just wouldn’t sit down for him. That’s easy to say now that we’ve won and he scored the winner, but honestly, I wasn’t mad at him over that missed chance at all.
I was mad at Keita though for that pitiful shot he had when he took the ball of Sturridge’s toes and sliced it miles wide. That was shite. He needs to step up as other than that boss turn and ball over the top at Palace, he’s done fuck all so far.
Here’s where I am with Origi now though. I’d start him against Burnley. No question about it. He might stink it up and if he did it wouldn’t surprise me, but it’s a risk well worth taking. I mean, he must be on cloud nine now, so why not take advantage of it. Ride the wave, tell him today that he’s starting and build him up, encourage him and tell him to go out there and tear Burnley a new arsehole.
Bobby has been shite for weeks and a rest won’t do him any harm. Sturridge had his chance at Red Star and didn’t take it, so go with the hot hand and play Origi. Now is the time to do it. He’s come out of nowhere to be the hero in a derby, give him the chance to build on that.
I’m not changing my opinion on him after one freak goal, but confidence plays just a big part in football and we saw what he could do when he had it. Maybe he’ll have another purple patch and we can take advantage of that for a few weeks until Firmino remembers how to play football?
Keeping pace with City is going to be incredibly tough and we have to try and match them result for result. They’ve already got six points in the bag against Everton without even kicking a ball yet, so this was huge for us.
We’ve now got two tricky away games and we need six points from them. Anything less just isn’t good enough because the standard required to win the title now is higher than it’s ever been.
There’s no margin for error at all, and with City playing Chelsea next week there’s a chance they might actually drop some points. We have to be there in position to take advantage if that happens.
Star man is tough. Nobody was exceptional although I thought Fabinho played well and Gini had a really good second half. Robbo was his usual self, Alisson was boss and Gomez was good.
Van Dijk was probably our best player though. He’s just so dominant and also provided the assist for the winner. What? He did! Doesn’t matter if he meant it, or that he didn't even see it as he was turning back to get back into position thinking it had gone into the Kop.
He’s not the star man though. I can’t look past Origi because he’s written himself into derby folklore after this and gained some nice revenge after what happened a couple of years ago. Payback’s a bitch sometimes.
Football eh? Fucking hell.
Merry Christmas, Everton.
Team: Alisson; Alexander-Arnold, Gomez, Van Dijk, Robertson; Fabinho, Wijnaldum; Shaqiri (Keita), Firmino (Origi), Mané; Salah (Sturridge):
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