So we’re down to four. Three of whom would have expected to be in with a real shout of being there, and one that has gotten there off the back of beating a few pub teams and needing pens to beat a Colombia side minus it’s best player. The one decent side they faced beat them.
I’m fully aware that I’m sounding like a bitter Blue here, but it is what it is. England in this World Cup is giving me the same helpless feeling I had watching United in the Europa League a couple of years ago, when they kept getting one crap team after another.
England beat Sweden comfortably enough and there were some good performances from them, not least the Mackem pair of Hendo and Pickford. Both were outstanding. Have to feel for Sunderland really, they had more current/former players in the last eight of the World Cup than Real Madrid. They’ve had some decent players pass through there, but they were usually surrounded by dogshit so didn’t stick around long.
As poor as Sweden were, Pickford still needed to make three crucial saves (two of them top drawer) to stop them getting back in it. Yet I’m seeing people talk about this England side like they’re 1970 Brazil. They aren’t, they’re a workmanlike group that are very adept at set-pieces and that’s seen them through so far.
The fuss about Harry Maguire being a case in point. He’s alright, I’m not saying he’s shit as I’ve thought he was a decent player for a while. He’s not Bobby fucking Moore though. Other than Falcao (class player but his legs have gone) he hasn’t faced any striker of note in this World Cup yet his reputation has sky rocketed.
It doesn’t help when Phil Thommo is banging the drum for us signing him. Why on earth would we do that? Putting him in our system would be like throwing a goldfish in a Piranha tank. And in case anyone has forgotten, the man people want Maguire to replace is having a pretty good tournament and he’s proved he can swim with the Piranhas (as long as he’s got the big shark alongside him).
I keep thinking “they’re fucked as soon as they come up against anyone decent” but the problem is that hasn’t happened yet. They haven’t played anyone decent and now they face a Croatia side that has had to go to extra time and pens twice in a week. If the Croatian lads can even stand up straight when they play England I’ll be amazed. I’m already steeling myself for them reaching the final. Fucking nightmare this.
Worryingly (for those of us not of an England persuasion), Croatia haven’t been much good since the group stages. They were class against a wretched Argentina side but otherwise they’ve barely done enough in their other games. I really thought they were going out against Russia when they conceded that late equaliser. It felt as though Russia just had destiny on their side.
It’s felt like that all the way through this tournament actually, they’ve been punching well above their weight since the opening game. When they got that last gasp equaliser in extra time it just seemed like their name was on the trophy, or at the very least they would make the final. Then I saw who was taking the first pen of the shoot out and I thought ‘ok, maybe not’.
That Smolov bum is the worst player in the tournament. I spent most of the Spain game absolutely cursing him for his shitness and he was no better in this game when he came on. He’s just terrible, a walking disaster. Whatever dosage they’d given him, they should have trebled it.
A player as bad as that thinking he could pull off a ‘Panenka’ pen in such a huge moment offends me almost as much as someone as ugly as Harry Kane being as arrogant as Harry Kane. You don’t get to be arrogant when you look like Kane and you don’t take a pen like that when you’re as shit as Smolov. That's just how it is.
Croatia were fucking jammy though. How that Modric pen went in I’ll never know. Spawny bastard. Three of Russia’s penalties were cool as fuck, and the old man at the back buried his with aplomb. The two that missed though... fucking hell. Smolov’s I’ve mentioned, but the Brazilian right back was just as bad. Total lack of composure from him, he just tried to twat it but he made poor contact and scuffed it wide.
I felt bad for Russia. I know I shouldn’t, because I defo reckon they’re on the gear, but I warmed to them as the tournament went on. I like the big centre forward, I think that Golovin has been terrific and the old man at the back has been a fucking hero (own goal against Ramos aside).
My head was telling me I wanted Croatia to win on the basis they’re a better side and therefore more likely to knock England out. As I was watching the game though I found it impossible not to root for Russia. They’re shite but they’ve got massive balls. Probably a side effect of all the PED’s they’ve been force-fed, but still, they’re a plucky bunch of lads and I ended up wanting them to go through.
Juicing aside, these lads are more Rocky Balboa than Ivan Drago. I’ll forever be grateful to them for knocking out Spain and making Ramos cry.
The previous day had kicked off with France seeing off Uruguay without any real drama. Without Cavani there was just too much on the shoulders of Suarez. Uruguay were bang up for it and there were some meaty challenges flying in during the first half. After one of them the French left back was rolling around and he rolled into the back of a Uruguay player, who turned and looked at him, waited three seconds and then decided to pretend he’d been knocked off balance and sat on him. Doesn't get any more Uruguay than that.
The worst piece of shitbagging came from Mbappe though, who went down in embarrassing fashion holding his stomach after not being touched. Completely bizarre behaviour that. They were winning 2-0 and he had no reason to do it whatsoever. Probably just trying to impress Neymar for when they get back to PSG.
Varane headed France in front but Uruguay almost levelled with a carbon copy, only Lloris made an incredible save. The difference in the game was basically just the keepers, as poor old Muslera then let one through his hands to end Uruguay’s hopes of a comeback. Keepers can win and lose you matches, which is why the idea of starting next season with Karius is fucking madness, but now isn’t the time or place for that discussion.
Poor old Muslera. He’s had a good tournament (and has had a solid international career) but that mistake will haunt him forever now. This Uruguay team have had their window as they’ll be too old by the time the next World Cup comes around. Luis might not even have any teeth left, he’ll be running round giving spammy’s instead.
It’s frustrating that we didn’t see them at full strength as they could have given France a real game and we were robbed of that by the injury to Cavani.
Giminez was crying his eyes out while the game was still going on. He was stood in the wall for a free-kick just sobbing. Not gonna lie, I went full Phil Leotardo when I saw that. “I’ll tell you this, my estimation about Giminez as a man, just fucking plummeted. To cry like a woman? It's a fucking disgrace!”
Speaking of disgrace, Neymar was sent packing and all anyone will remember of him from this tournament was his embarrassing behaviour. Every game he’s played he’s behaved like a massive twat and this was no different. Trying to get a penalty by running alongside Fellaini and kicking him before falling over was genuinely pathetic. It was so cringeworthy he got to his feet and pleaded with the ref not to go to VAR, probably because he knew it would result in a booking and a suspension.
Not sure why the ref didn’t book him as he was onto the dive straight away and looked disgusted by it as he waved away the penalty claims from the Brazil players. By that point Brazil were 2-0 down but I thought this was a fascinating game in which both teams played well. Brazil have nothing to be ashamed of other than the antics of Neymar.
Other big teams have gone home in disgrace having not performed. That doesn’t apply to Brazil, they were unlucky against Belgium and played quite well. They didn’t get the breaks though. They hit the post when a flick from a corner hit an oblivious Thiago Silva. Then they conceded a goal when a flick from a corner hit an oblivious Fernandinho. Sometimes the luck just isn’t with you.
Belgium will feel they made their own luck though and they were a real threat on the counter attack until they ran out of steam midway through the second half. The first half was great though, they picked Brazil off at will and Martinez deserves the credit he’s been given for his tactical set up. Splitting Lukaku and Hazard wide and letting De Bruyne rampage through the space in the middle was a smart move.
Of course it’s easier to set your team up like that when you’ve got three genuinely world class players filling those spots, but I’m not taking anything away from arl Bobby Brown Shoes there. Credit where it’s due, he played a blinder.
Even so, despite Belgium’s threat on the counter Brazil eventually wore them down and were completely dominating the second half after Bobby came on. Coutinho missed a sitter but then created a goal with a sublime pass, and they were denied a clear penalty when the otherwise anonymous Jesus was brought down by Kompany after completely embarrassing Vertonghen with a glorious nutmeg in the box.
I wouldn’t have given the penalty on first view, or even on first view of the replay, but the more you see that the more clear it is that it’s a foul. How did VAR not at least ask the ref to take a look at it? Brazil got screwed on that one I think. They had other chances too but the giraffe in the Belgian goal made some good saves to keep them at bay.
He was all apologetic afterwards about his comments on Pickford and how they were taken out of context. Fuck off you long necked Postman Pat looking cunt. You know what you said and you know what you meant. Don’t back track from it now because people called you out on it. But since you are in such a contrite mood, where’s your apology for Karius, you fucking scab?
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