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World Cup 2018 Round Up (Days 7-10)

I’m sure you’ll be glad to know things are back to normal and there’ll be no more rooting for Ronaldo and cheering his goals from me. To my relief I now know for certain that it was purely 'a Sergio Ramos thing’ because I was back to cursing Ronaldo when he put Portugal ahead against Morocco. 

 

That turned out to be the only goal of the game as Portugal did what they did in the last Euros - played shite but stole a win. So tedious and given some of the players they have it’s almost inexcusable. They’re fucking shite but they never seem to lose. Really can’t be doing with them though and they better not win the damn thing. I don’t think they will, but then I didn’t think they’d win the Euros either. Boring bastards. 

 

Morocco were comfortably the better side but they didn’t have a cutting edge and that was the difference. Put Ronaldo in their team and they’d probably have won 3-0. They played well but they’re out now, having lost both games and failed to score a goal, unless you count the one they stuck in their own net against Iran. 

 

Without doubt the best bit of this game was Pepe’s outrageous shithousery after being tapped on the shoulder. This man has no shame at all. He knows the world is watching but he gives no fucks whatsoever. If you’re an opponent what the hell do you do about someone like that? You’d want to kill him. I honestly don’t know how he’s survived this long. 

 

The thing is though, it would be so easy to stamp this out yet there’s clearly no inclination by anybody to do it. If a player goes down holding their face when they haven’t been hit in the face, just ban them for five games. Simple. They’ll soon stop it. We’ve got the technology to completely eradicate this so fucking use it. This is defo worse than diving for a penalty as the sole purpose of anyone doing this is to try and get an opponent sent off. 

 

Speaking of diving for penalties though, Ronaldo embarrassed himself with a bad one. The dive was pathetic enough but then he made a TV gesture demanding VAR. Probably just wanted to catch a look at himself on the big screen, the vain twat. 

 

Uruguay also stunk it up in the second game of the day. That was a dreadful display against Saudi Arabia but just like Portugal they got an early goal and then shut it down. Boring to watch but they won’t care. Suarez scored on his 100th cap but otherwise was shite again. I never watch Barcelona so I’ve seen very little of him since he left, but he doesn’t quite look the same player to me and seems to be carrying a few more pounds than normal too, but it might just be that kit. It's not very flattering like. 

 

That result sealed Egypt’s fate which means Mo will get a decent rest before pre-season. No-one will want to face Uruguay with that defence and the front two though. Based on their opening two games, no-one will want to watch them either. Almost as dull as Portugal. Almost, but not quite. 

 

The night game also finished 1-0 and wasn’t great, and yet I was really into this one. It was fantastic seeing Spain get some of their own medicine and I was rooting hard for Iran. I thought they were fucking great. I especially loved the shithousery of the the first half, beating Spain’s cheating bastards at their own game. The keeper hitting the deck after Costa stood on his toe was glorious. Seeing Costa gesticulating at him and complaining to the ref was hilarious. Like seeing a playground bully getting decked by a nerd. Round of applause for that keeper. Bravo sir. 

 

I mentioned after Spain’s first game what a fucking hypocrite Pique was for complaining about Ronaldo diving, and seeing Ramos, Busquets and Costa all in the refs ear at half time, bitching about Iran’s playacting and time wasting was further evidence of Spanish double standards. Fuck Spain, I’ve changed my mind now about wanting France to fail more than anyone else. It’s Spain, get them cunts out ASAP. If they play France, then Vive Le France and Allez Pogba. 

 

Iran though, love them. They’re my boys now, I’m all in on them knocking out Portugal in their next game. Imagine. What? It could happen. Spain are better than Portugal and my boys ran them close, so why not? 

 

They were only beaten by a complete fluke from Costa but other than that they defended like heroes and when they went forward they played some really nice stuff in tight spaces. They had a few chances too but it just wasn’t their night. It would have been great if the offside goal had stood but it was the correct decision and we can’t blame VAR for that as it was the linesman who disallowed it. 

 

What the fuck was that throw in at the end all about though? I’m not sure what annoyed me most, that he even attempted that stupid forward roll thing in the first place, or that he did it and then didn’t see it through. He wasted about 30 seconds thinking that over, and by the time he took a normal throw in the final whistle went. In terms of boneheaded moments, that’s right up there with the Tunisian centre half dribbling the ball out for a stoppage time corner against England. 

 

Funny watching Bilic and Ian Wright go at each other afterwards. It got pretty lively and you could see Wright got genuinely annoyed at Bilic taking the piss out of him. Keep an eye on that situation throughout the remainder of the tournament. Could turn nasty that. 

 

Prior to that we had Roy Keane talking about a bust up he had with Iran coach Carlos Quiroz and expressing his regret over it. It was perfectly set up, it appeared as though he was going to say “its one of my biggest regrets that I didn’t handle it differently” only he goes “it’s one of my biggest regrets that I didn’t tear his head off…. but tactically he’s a great coach”. Completely deadpan, no smile, he meant every word. The rest of the panel just sat there giggling. 

 

Day 8 was much of the same. Dull. At least the first two games were. Denmark against Australia had its moments but Denmark were really disappointing, especially in the second half. The early goal they got from Eriksen was class, but they didn’t build on it and the spirit of the Aussies was impressive again.
 

They possibly even deserved to win, although I thought the pen they got to equalise was incredibly soft. What made that even worse was the Danish lad was booked. Ok, the ball hit him on the arm and technically his arm was outstretched, but he had no idea what was happening there. His team-mate missed a header and the ball hit him. Not a pen and definitely not a yellow card. Didn’t like that decision at all. 

 

I’ve been surprisingly impressed with Australia though, especially considering the utter lack of talent in their ranks. I don’t mean that as a dig, it’s more of a compliment than anything. If any team is punching above their weight in this competition it’s them. They’re better than they ought to be, but it’s probably not going to be enough to get out of the group, although a win over Peru would give them a chance if Denmark lose to France. 

 

Speaking of France, they continued the theme of big nations playing crap and squeezing out a 1-0. I was disappointed with Peru though. They had a go and played some decent stuff but rarely looked like scoring. It’s the same for most of the smaller nations. They can all pass it about and get themselves out of difficult situations with neat one touch passing, but none of them have anything in the final third and that’s proving to be the difference. 

 

France put together two or three nice moves but the goal was a bit lucky and for the most part they were shite again. Maybe these teams are just pacing themselves and will click into gear in the knockouts, but I’d say it’s more likely that they’re just not very good. 

 

Take the night game for example. Argentina were fucking hideous and for long spells Croatia weren’t much better. So many basic errors from both teams, it was absolutely terrible stuff. Yet it was entertaining as hell and I especially loved how they were kicking the shit out of each other. A proper old fashioned game of footy this was, but the lack of quality was glaring at times. With one notable exception (and I don’t mean big Dejan). 

 

I mentioned in the first Round Up of the tournament that we used to have this Argentinian lad who played footy with us back in the day and he was just miles better than the rest of us. Well that was Luka Modric in this game. He was class but all around him it was players just making mistake after mistake. Pitiful stuff. In that first half Modric was just majestic, but it looked like he’d been dropped into a Sunday League game. 

 

It was terrible, players just passing the ball straight into touch, missing sitters and giving the ball away needlessly. They were all at it. Except for Modric who was imperious, and Messi who was invisible. What the fuck was that about? I know he never shows his club form for his country, but it’s usually not for the lack of trying. In this game he was just walking around, not even showing for the ball half the time. 

 

You could tell during the anthems that something wasn’t right. He looked stressed to fuck and his body language was all wrong. He’s really done his legacy no favours so far in this tournament. 

 

I’ve always been on his side in the Messi / Ronaldo debate (to the extent that in my mind it shouldn’t even be a debate), and although I’ll always be ‘Team Diego’ I couldn’t argue too vociferously against Messi being the best ever. The more I think about it though, the less credibility he has. He’s the most naturally gifted player ever but is that enough? 

 

Ronaldo has made himself what he is through sheer hard work, ego and single mindedness. Yeah, he’s an arrogant, selfish, vein, posing twat and he’s a lot less likeable than Messi, but I’m willing to accept now that it is at least a legitimate argument as to who is better. I’m still with Messi but if my life depended on one player delivering for me, I’d take Ronaldo over him, so maybe I should be rethinking my stance on who is better? I dunno. 

 

A mate of mine always refers to Messi as ‘that Chelsea enabling twat’ after he missed a penalty that allowed Chelsea to go on and win the Champions League. It’s an interesting take, because there’s no way Ronaldo is missing in that situation. His mentality wouldn’t allow him to. Messi doesn’t have much of a supporting cast with Argentina but look at who Ronaldo plays with for Portugal. 

 

I don’t want to get too bogged down with the tedious Ronaldo / Messi argument though, but one thing I’m now sure of is that I’m right to have Maradona above Messi, because there’s no way Diego would have been this passive in a game when his country needed him. 
Maradona wasn’t happy about how clueless and dispirited Argentina were and he took a shot at Messi afterwards. “Our leaders are not leaders now. Messi doesn’t have that personality. It’s a shambles. He took pictures with a goat. You’re not the goat (greatest of all time), win something first.” Ouch. 

 

Reputation aside, Messi probably should have been subbed he was that ineffective. Instead, Aguero got the hook even though he’d made more of impact on the game. They brought on Dybala but look at him jogging back on Croatia’s third goal. Fucking disgraceful that, he’d only been on 15 minutes or so but Croatia’s players were running past him on a counter attack. Most of his defenders had gone up front for the set-piece and he couldn’t even be arsed running back to help out. 

 

That Argie coach is terrible though. He doesn’t know what he’s doing and probably only got the job through intimidation because he looks like he ‘knows people’. What an intimidating looking fucker he is, prowling up and down the touchline like a caged tiger. He got more and more agitated as the game wore on and when he took his jacket off you knew someone was in trouble. Bet he went fucking mad in that dressing room afterwards. 

 

The obvious target would have been Willy Caballero. That was a howler and a half (stunning finish by Rebic though) but it’s not like the team were playing well and it was his mistake that killed them. They were all shite, he’s just the one who got caught out. 

 

It’s mad how a football nation like Argentina is relying on goalkeepers and defenders as bad as these losers. How does youth football work over there? I can only assume that all the good players are told to play nine or ten, the ones who aren’t very good play in midfield and all the proper shite ones are defenders. Those who don’t play at all are dragged away from what they’re doing and forced to go in goal. 

 

You know, I have a lot of opinions on footy and I’m not conceited enough to think they’re all correct. In fact, I daresay loads of them are complete nonsense. One opinion I know is 100% accurate though is that Otamendi is a fucking liability. Anyone who doesn’t see that Otamendi is crap doesn’t know football, including Guardiola. He’s shite. 

 

Onto Day 9 now and Brazil left it late against Costa Rica. They were really struggling and I was loving it, but two stoppage time goals got them out of jail. Fair play to Neymar, he managed to make it all about him in true Cristiano Ronaldo style. Coutinho was the match winner but Neymar’s crocodile tears at full time ensured the cameras were only on him. 

 

I hate him. I hate him more than I hate Ronaldo, because as much as Ronaldo is a dick he’s earned the right to be. What’s this overhyped fuck done to justify the way he carries on? Diving little preening shithouse. Best bit of this game was the ref giving him a pen and then taking it away after seeing the replay. Not sure why he needed a replay in the first place as it was a ludicrous dive, but it was worth him giving it just to see him take it away. 

 

For the second game running Brazil looked much more cohesive when Firmino was on the field, but their coach seems like a stubborn bastard and will probably keep picking Jesus. Good. It means I don’t have to feel bad wanting them to lose. 

 

Nigeria bounced back from their dismal opener against Croatia by recording an impressive 2-0 win over Iceland. There wasn’t much in the first half but after the break Nigeria put a few decent moves together and Musa scored two great goals and only the bar denied him a spectacular hat-trick. Don’t know why it didn’t work out for him at Leicester but he’s obviously a good player. Iceland had a chance to get back in it but Blueshite launched a pen into orbit and that was that. 

 

The result keeps Argentina’s hopes alive but they need to beat Nigeria in their final game and frankly I don’t give them a cat in hell’s chance. Not because Nigeria are any good (I’m not having them. Victor Moses? Alex Iwobi? Jon Obi Mikel? Nah) but because Argentina are clearly broken. It wasn’t just that they lost to Croatia, it was the manner of it. You don’t just go out in the next game and put that right. Their problems are too deep rooted. 

 

Iceland are probably done now. They have to beat Croatia but even if they do it might not be enough. This is probably the most interesting group though going into the last round of games. I reckon Nigeria will sneak through with Croatia. 

 

Tell you what though, some of those Iceland players are strikingly handsome aren’t they? Particularly the right winger. His face appeared on the screen and without even thinking just muttered “fucking hell”. Incredibly good looking fella that, it was like looking in the mirror at my younger self. What?? Fuck off. 

 

It was no surprise when the commentator said a bit later on that he’s a part time model as well as footy player. A quick bit of research tells me he has gained 330,000 followers on Instagram since his late cameo against Argentina. I’m not one of them, before you ask. Honest. 

 

In the night game, Switzerland came from behind to beat Serbia, a result that means it’s still possible for Brazil to go out if Serbia can beat them. Mitrovic put the Serbs ahead with a brilliant header but Xhaka’s thunderbolt evened things up and Shaqiri got a late winner. He whipped his shirt off, presumably in response to people saying he’s fat. Not sure it worked though. His tits don’t lie. 

 

Xhaka and Shaqiri are in hot water over goal celebrations that have some political meaning. The fuck are they playing at? They’re Swiss, they’re meant to be neutral. Did they not get the memo? 

 

Onto Day 10 and Belgium laid down a bit of a marker by spanking Tunisia. Lukaku got two, so did Hazard and Batshuai missed about six clear chances before eventually putting one away. Belgium have got as much talent as any team in the competition and before it started I did a results predictor and I had them getting all the way to the final and then losing to Germany. 

 

Then I had to check myself when I remembered who their coach was. No matter how hard I try, I just can’t see Martinez as a World Cup winning coach. He’s just too shit. His team are looking good though at the moment and that should be a good game against England. 
Mexico won again, and it wasn’t really as close as the 2-1 scoreline suggests. They’re good, and they’re entertaining. I like how they play and their fans are great. 

 

That Lozano lad is brilliant. The run back into his own box to make a goal saving challenge was one of the best pieces of play I’ve seen at the tournament so far. Boss that was, the kind of thing Kloppo would be going mad celebrating on the touchline about. Love seeing an attacking player do that. We should sign him, he’s a proper Klopp player. 

 

Son played well for Korea and deserved his late goal, but they’ve been pretty poor overall and there’s no way they’ll give the Germans any problems in the final game. 

 

Mind you, that game was so nearly going to be irrelevant until Toni Kroos came to the rescue in stoppage time. What a dramatic ending that was. The whole game was fascinating I thought. It wasn’t a classic, mainly because Sweden didn’t really want to attack, but the stakes were high and it was in the balance all the way through so there was loads of tension. 

 

Ozil was dropped. FINALLY!!! Apparently he got loads of shit from the German media after their opening game and Mario Basler said he had the body language of a dead frog. Yeah, and the eyes of a live one. 

 

Hummels was out too, although he was injured. Blessing in disguise because it meant Rudiger played and he’s better anyway. Unfortunately for the Germans Boeteng was there too and he had a fucking ‘mare. The ref sending him off was a blessing in disguise. It put him out of his misery and Germany actually played better when they went down to ten men, that’s how bad he was. Keane's disgust at Boeteng at both half time and full time was palable. 

 

Sweden completed six passes in the opening ten minutes. Crazy statistic that, especially as despite this they had a great chance to score. They had another chance soon after that should have led to a penalty. Blatant shove in the back on Berg just as he went to shoot. The video refs must have been making a brew or something. The ref needed help there and he got none. 

 

It was mad though, Sweden had virtually none of the ball but any time they did get it they looked like scoring. The next chance they hd his the net, as Toivanen ran unopposed through the centre and finished with the aid of a deflection that looped it over the keeper.
 
Germany clearly learnt nothing from the Mexico game and all the same failings were there again. Bogey Love was just sniffing his fingers on the touchline all night. He's a bad wrong un that fella. I think they'll figure it out but I'm not as sure as I was after the Mexico game. 
 
I was rooting for Germany to win because I tipped them to win the tournament and didn’t want to have egg on my face. There was a part of me wanting Sweden to do well though just because they told ‘Zlatan’ to fuck off when he tried to come out of retirement. They were just so cowardly after Germany went down to ten that they deserved nothing and I wanted Germany to get the winner, so I was made up when Kroos smashed in that free-kick. 

 

Last week I described the Sweden captain as looking like ‘Steve Redgrave’s older brother. I was wrong, he’s more like a blonde Tony Soprano.

 

Final observation from this, Draxler is shite. I've never seen him do anything and Brandt has done ten times as much in two late cameos than this fella has done in any game I've seen him.
 
As for the pundits, I thought Zabaletta was good. He can come back, I like him. Phil Neville continues to irritate. “There hasn’t been a bad game in the tournament so far”. Fuck off. Most of them have been shite I reckon. Maybe it’s just me, it could be that I’m spoiled by watching the Reds. Maybe these games are alright and only seem dull because of how entertaining our games are? 

 

We’re stuck with Neville but at least that cunt Evra has gone. You know, in a way I’ve got to give him credit. I find it irritating when players I’ve hated show up on TV and come across as likeable, articulate and interesting. Full disclosure, I like Frank Lampard these days. Even worse, I like Rio Ferdinand. They both seem sound. 

 

Evra actually managed to do the opposite. I think even less of him now than I did before. He’s a massive fucking tool. His farewell speech and that stupid shout “I LOVE THIS GAME”. Just get off my TV you fucking slouching fuck. Can’t even sit up straight when he’s on telly. And what’s with the shitty clobber? Just throwing a random dickie bow on with whatever outfit he happened to be wearing. ITV have invited you on, the least you can do is make an effort, you annoying bellend.


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What did your dad make of the Germany result, Dave?

 

Haven't spoken to him about it. Don't need to. I know exactly what he'll have said to my mum when that goal went in. "You can never write off those Germans".

 

The only thing that will have pleased him more is his boy Shaqiri scoring the night before.

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"Maybe it’s just me, it could be that I’m spoiled by watching the Reds. Maybe these games are alright and only seem dull because of how entertaining our games are?"

 

A lot of the early games were dull but games 2 & 3 have been livelier in general.  The VAR delays don't help - you can nip out of the room, get a beer from the fridge and neck some of it before you find out whether there's been a goal or a penalty - or not. 

And all that VAR time doesn't seem to get added on........... 

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