Saturday May 12…
We might be reporting Monchengladbach over them tapping up Rhian Brewster. This whole moving to Germany thing, it’s just a stupid fucking fad that these young English players are being taken in by. It’s like sleeve tattoos and shit haircuts. One does it and the others all want to follow. It’s pointless.
I keep hearing about this Sancho kid who left City for Dortmund, and Reece Oxford who went to Gladbach on loan for the season. “Oh look at them getting first team football”. They started eleven games between them. ELEVEN! They’d have probably got more starts if they’d stayed put. This whole thing reeks of agents lining their pockets by giving the kids bad advice.
Not much else going on today so I had a look at some of the clickbait shit on news now. The Daily Star are running something about how Madrid considered offering us £86m for Keita but didn’t because they knew we wouldn’t sell him. Okaaaaaay. Of course the Express were all over that shit too, as they’ll run literally anything if it gets them a click. Maybe Madrid didn’t bid that because THEY HAVEN’T FUCKING GOT IT!! It’s the biggest myth in European footy that Madrid can buy whoever they like because they’re loaded. They haven’t bought anyone big since Bale.
There’s a few outlets linking us with Sami Khedira too. Good player but he wouldn’t last five minutes playing at the tempo Klopp has our midfield lads playing at. Still, if it gets clicks then who cares. Other rumours have us being in for Harry Maguire. There’s more chance of us signing Jerry Maguire. I’m calling it now, Klopp won’t sign a centre half this summer as I reckon he’s more than happy with what he has. So am I actually.
Not be outdone, the Italian press are saying Juve are set to announce they’ve completed a deal for big Emre ‘any day now’. Yeah, and how long have we been hearing this? He may well end up there, but I’d confidently bet that nothing will be announced this week because the Italian press know nothing.
The Spanish press are talking shite too, saying Mo is off to Madrid for £130m and we’re using the dough to sign Dembele from Barca. Firstly, Madrid can’t afford Mo. Secondly, if we want Dembele we’ve got the money for him already without selling anyone.
One of Egypt’s most famous players is doing the arl Edinson Cavani routine though and trying to sell our star player: Hany Ramsy, who was a really good player back in the day, is running his mouth and talking shite. ”All the media are talking about Real Madrid or Barcelona. For me, Salah is ready to make this step. For him it’s time. It’s the right time to transfer or go to Real Madrid, especially I think Real Madrid as the way they play could be a very, very good transfer for Salah. I think he makes history for an Egyptian player and this is very important. Also that all the world can see that Egypt has talent.“
What, and the world can’t see that when he’s tearing shit up for us in the biggest league in the world and helping us to a Champions League final? Shut up you tit.
Sunday May 13…
L 4 Brighton 0 Boss that. The result was what we needed but the biggest take away for me was how fresh and sharp the lads looked after a full week to prepare. Not gonna lie, I was worried that all the games had caught up with us, but clearly that’s not the case. They looked leggy in recent weeks just because they were playing twice a week. With two weeks to prepare for the final I reckon our lads will be ready to fucking run all over Madrid. They won’t know what’s hit them, they don’t have to face anything like us in La Liga but the arrogant bastards won’t even think for a second that we can beat them. If we show up we’ll fucking destroy them. IF we show up.
Made up for Solanke today. I almost typed 'my boy Dom' then as he's been my boy all season, but I bailed on him last week when he missed that header at Chelsea so I feel a little uneasy about shamelessly jumping back on the bandwagon. I like the kid though, he's going to be a really good striker in this league, I just don't think it will be here because there aren't going to be enough opportunities for him to play and develop. Interesting that we played 4-2-3-1 today though, I thought it worked very well and might be worth looking at again in pre-season.
Meanwhile, in Scotland. Rangers went 3-0 down, came roaring back to get to 5-3 up and then threw it away and drew 5-5. At least Stevie is used to that kind of crazy shit. When his team plays Brendan’s it might finish 10-9.
Monday May 14…
Big Sam gone? Nooooooooooo. Goodnight, Sweet Prince. It was fun while it lasted, although it would have been more fun if they hadn’t hired him and maybe Unsworth would have taken them down. Whether those fans like it or not, Big Sam kept them up, just like he said he would. Not only that, he somehow got them to 8th. The worst Everton side I think I’ve ever seen, and they finished 8th. Allardyce might actually be as good as he thinks he is you know.
Meanwhile, Yan Dhanda is leaving. Bit surprised at this one, he’s a talented lad who still has an outside chance of making it here. Not everyone is a superstar at 18, he could be a late bloomer but if he is it will be for someone else. We wanted him to stay but he wouldn’t sign a contract, which seems to be happening more and more with the top clubs. He’s joining Swansea apparently. More worried about Brewster though to be honest.
Part of me admires these lads who aren’t prepared to sit in the reserves and want to get out and play, but then if they were so keep to get a chance of playing first team football why leave to come here? Dhanda was at West Brom, he had more chance of playing there, but he came here. Why?
Even in Brewster’s case I think he’s being really hasty. Klopp clearly rates him and he will get an opportunity here if he sticks it out. Look how many appearances Solanke has had this year. If he’d performed better he’d have had even more, so Brewster should fancy his chances of breaking through. Why leave this club when we’re so clearly on the up? Impatient little fucker.
Tuesday May 15…
Big Emre is left out of the German squad for the World Cup. Poor lad, feel bad for him. He’s missed the Champions League quarters, semis and final and now he’s not going to the World Cup either. He’s always played through injury for us, often to his own detriment, yet now he’s had to listen to people accusing him of faking an injury because he’s leaving. He’s put a massive shift in every time he’s played this season, there is not a chance he would willingly sit out these big games. If he goes, I’ll be puzzled as to what the fuck he’s thinking but I’ll wish him well, the handsome bastard.
Villa squeaked into the playoff final tonight after a 0-0 home draw with Boro. I didn’t really care who won this as long as neither of them win the final, as fuck the thought of having either of these dull bastards back in the top flight. Of the two Villa are by far the worst though I suppose. Their fans are the saddest, most self satisfied bastards you’ll find anywhere. They had a massive pitch invasion at full time. I mean fucking hell, it’s just embarrassing. It would be bad enough if they’d done this after getting promoted, but they’ve still got to beat Fulham. Yet there’s thousands of them celebrating on the pitch. As I said, sad self satisfied bastards.
Those who didn’t run on the pitch were chanting at those that did “Where were you when we were shit?”. Fair play, I get where they’re coming from, but I have to ask. 'When'. Are they implying they aren’t shit anymore?
Wednesday May 16…
Trent’s going to the World Cup. Go ed lad. There’s no Lallana though, which is a mistake as he should be fully fit by the time it starts. It’s good for us as he’ll have a proper pre-season to get himself in top shape. Assuming he gets through it without a muscle popping of course.
How shit is that squad overall though? I mean fucking hell, how is Danny Welbeck even getting a sniff of any international squad. I wouldn’t even pick him if I was Scotland’s boss. England have gone from having Ferdinand, Carragher, Terry, Gerrard, Scholes, Lampard, Shearer and Owen to just having a squad with no real stars other than dribble chin Kane. Wouldn’t be shocked if they didn’t even get out of the group. Bet the clueless wankers who follow them blame Hendo for it too.
In other news today, FIFA want to launch a new, revamped club world cup in 2021 and we’d be one of the participants. They want teams with a minimum of three European Cups. I don’t see the point, we already have a world club cup. It’s called the Champions League. I know it’s only for European clubs, but there isn’t a non-European team out there who would even make a list of top 30 clubs in the world.
That said, if this thing does get off the ground then I want in on this action. We need to be in it, not least because of how much it will piss off the likes of City and Spurs. You ain’t got three European Cups? Sorry, you ain’t getting in. Ok, tell you what, maybe we can work something out, have you got two? No? Fuck off then…. You still here? You don’t give up easily do you. Ok, we’ll let you in with one European Cup. Each. Ok, between you. You don’t even have that? Get the fuck out of here before we call the police.
Meanwhile, Everton have confirmed that Fat Sam has gone and they’ve canned Steve Walsh too. He’s just one of countless phoneys in the game him. Living off the fact he signed Kante and Mahrez and got himself a big fat contract at Everton. So many of these Director of Footy types are complete conmen. He’s made a horrendous mess of Everton, so he’ll always have a special place in my heart for that though. Keith Harris made that appointment apparently. Maybe they should let Orville choose the next one?
Thursday May 17…
Roma want £87m for Alisson. Seems a bit steep like, especially as I’m not even sure he’s that good. He looked alright against us but didn’t exactly blow me away, and he’s only been first choice for this season. Last year he was behind the Pole who got bombed out at Arsenal when they signed Cech. I’m not sold on Karius yet but I’m fairly relaxed about it. If Klopp wants to roll with Karius then I’m good with that, if he thinks he needs to replace him then that’s fine too.
Staying with keepers for a second, there are now tenuous rumours linking us with a move for Gigi Buffon. Can’t see it like, as he’s not going to move somewhere to sit on the bench and we’re not going to relegate Karius to second choice behind a 40 year old even if he is one of the greatest of all time.
I’d be made up though, I fucking love Buffon me. Maybe we’d become friends and I could impress him by knowing all the words to the Italian anthem. We could sing it together, it’d be fucking boss. Knowing how things usually work out for me he’ll end up at Madrid or PSG and we’ll sign fucking Butland, but I’ll die before I sing God Save the Queen with that loser.
Friday May 18…
Pep Ljinders has been sacked and word is Klopp wants to bring him back. Better move quick before Stevie the vulture swoops in. Obviously there’s a vacancy on the staff with Buvac having taken his ball and gone home, and Ljinders’ old job is still available too. Bringing him back seems like a no brainer but he mightn’t want to, as having left to become a manager his pride might not allow it.
He’s really, really young though in managerial terms, so he could come back here for a couple more years and learn from Klopp. I really don’t understand these young coaches wanting to fast track their managerial careers as it rarely works out well. Just show some fucking patience and learn the trade.
Saw an argument on Twitter today between a Newcastle fan and a Sunderland fan, and it was a real eye opener. It was lame as fuck. Like two pissed arl fellas outside a pub taking wild swings at each other, failing to connect and then just falling down. Here’s a snippet of it….
One is gloating about winning six derbies in a row and reaching Wembley (where they got spanked by City). The other is bragging about finishing 10th and playing at Wembley (in a fucking league game against Spurs!!). Imagine bragging about that shit? It’s like boasting about being able to read, or walk without falling over. Yet this is the kind of thing that supporters of most teams gloat about because they don’t have anything else.
We genuinely don’t realise how good we’ve got it at times. I mean think about it, just imagine how nervous and excited we’re all going to be this time next week. Like kids on Christmas Eve. Yet even if, I mean when, we win I bet there’ll be all kinds of crying this summer if Lovren and Karius aren’t replaced. Sometimes we really need to stop and smell the flowers.
Some talk tonight that we’re cancelling our pre-season friendly with Monchengladbach because we’re pissed off at them tapping up Brewster. Aren’t they meant to be our mates? The fuck is this poaching our players about then? Bastards. The Brewster thing is annoying me now, far more than it should be really. It’s going to do my head in if he goes but the funny thing is I haven’t seen anything from him to make me think he’s THAT special. He’s good like, but he’s no Michael Owen. I doubt I’ll ever see a teenage striker who measures up to Owen, it's easy to forget now, but he really was fucking incredible.
that was the week that was.
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