So shitty Portugal are somehow in the final then. They beat Wales without really doing anything much, it was a nothing game in which neither side really created anything. Ronaldo’s leap and header for the first was incredible, but was just about the only thing he did right all night as he was shite again. His scuffed shot then led to a flukey second for Nani almost immediately, and that was that for Wales.
The Welsh rarely looked like they even had one goal in them, let alone two, and for the last twenty minutes Bale was playing hero-ball, trying all kinds of mad runs and shots from all angles. Not that I blame him, he didn’t really have much choice as he had to take risks to try and get them back into it. If they’d gotten one then Portugal may have caved and conceded another, but we’ll never know now.
Wales have had a great tournament and can certainly be proud of what they achieved, but they had a real chance of winning this and in that regard it was an opportunity wasted. I don’t know why they didn’t just go full on alehouse in the last 20 minutes and keep launching the ball at Vokes and play for knock downs, or stick big ugly James Collins up there to scare people. Instead, they just continued with their patient build up play, which is commendable in it’s own way, but it played right into Portugal’s hands.
Portugal really aren’t all that but they’ll probably go and fucking win it now, they’ve had so much spawn all the way through it’s hard to see them losing, even to France. If I were to give them any credit at all I’d have to say that with the exception of the Hungary game they’ve been resolute, organised and difficult to play against. But I’m not going to give them any credit as I’ve hated watching them so they can get to fuck.
The one good thing about Wales going out is hopefully we won’t be bored to tears by Ryan fucking Giggs anymore. Christ, he’s dull isn’t he? Bellamy helps to offset that with his general awesomeness, but Giggs is such an unhappy bastard he makes Scholes look like the laughing policeman. Please ITV, don’t ever let him darken our screens again, the big boring hairy bastard.
The first thing that struck me from the other semi final was that I just can’t get over Deschamps’ teeth. I noticed it in a previous game but forgot to mention it on here. You normally only see chompers like that on prison smackheads on TV. Look out for it when they play the national anthem before the final. They’re just rotten brown stumps, it’s weird. You’d think with the dough he must have that he’d go out and do a Brendan. The question I have is just what the fuck has he been eating to make his nashers go like that? Does he wash down his cheese with battery acid? Maybe they're falsies and he leaves them in a glass of full fat coke overnight? I need answers as this is just too weird.
On to the actual footy now though, and Emre Can finally got a chance and now we know why we hadn’t seen him previously. Within seconds he’d done the most Emre Can thing ever; Picked the ball up in his own half, surged pst three opponents on a 40 yard run and then passed it to nobody. The next couple of times he got the ball he gave it away, but then he eventually settled and was doing ok until the ref booked him for his first foul. He should have been sent off for diving in the second half and ended up pathetically shaking hands with the ref to basically thank him for his leniency as they both knew he should have gone for that. It wasn’t a surprise when he was subbed soon after.
After 44 minutes of this game there was absolutely no way that Germany weren’t going through. It was one of the most one sided halves of the tournament and France couldn’t get out of their own last third. Giroud spent most of the half 30 yards from his own goal, although he did get one chance to run through but looked like he was pulling an invisible caravan and was caught by Howedes.
It was just complete and total German dominance, but for all their possession in the French half they didn’t really test Lloris much. Then out of nowhere France were ahead from the penalty spot with the last kick of the half after soft shite Schweinsteiger needlessly handled. He was booked for it too, which is something that needs looking at I reckon as surely a penalty is punishment enough in such circumstances?
I still expected Germany to come back and least take it to extra time, but the second half saw France dig in and protect what they had, and it was easy for them in the end as the Germans seemed to run out of ideas rather quickly. Great trickery by Pogba and a mistake by Neuer allowed Griezemann to poke home his second and that was that. France in the final and Germany going home. Griezemann looks a shoe in for the Golden Boot now too, which is well deserved as he's been excellent.
Germany’s lack of a centre forward cost them in the end, but even allowing for that France defended their box superbly and the young lad Umtiti was excellent. His name is ridiculous though, I can’t take him seriously as it’s what those little Jawas in Star Wars used to shout when they saw R2D2.
France even delivered the ultimate ‘fuck you’ to the Germans by sending on that crab Gignac for the last 15 minutes. The French Ian Marshall. That was defo payback for Harold Schumacher almost killing Patrick Batiston all those years ago. You know who has to be the most pissed off player at the entire tournament though? Anthony Martial. If I were him I’d knock Deschamps crooked brown teeth down his fucking throat for picking that big useless turd Gignac ahead of me.
Tell you what though, those scenes at the final whistle didn’t sit right with me at all, as the French players and fans did the Iceland “thunder clap”. Cheeky bastards, get your own fucking thing. I know that most footy chants aren’t original and are imported and adapted from somewhere else, and that’s fine within reason (although any fans singing that “…*insert random shit striker here* is on fire..” crap should be banned from all stadia), but you can’t just nick something as brazenly as what the French did here. Utterly shameless.
I’d be fucking livid if I were Icelandic. Since when does beating a team mean you then get to nick their gimmick for the following match? If France were playing anyone other than Portugal in the final I’d want them to lose, purely based on this. I actually like the French as a nation, they’re a good bunch of lads but their footy players are often arseholes (although that not a trait exclusive to the French by any means) and that makes it difficult to get behind them, as does this ripping off Iceland’s victory celebration. It’s not your thunder clap, you thundercunts.
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