Cam

A father walks into his son's bedroom, noticeable only for a carpet of Playstation games on the floor and a huge Chelsea team poster on the wall. "Son", he says, "there comes a time when every father must have an embarrassing chat with his son. You may have learnt some of this at school or in the playground, some of it will be true and some will be old wives tales. But we'll start with the basics and if you've any questions about it all you can ask at the end. Okay, this is a cunt...."

Parry got plenty of sly digs in re Francis' tenure at Brum compared to Bruce's (relative) successes.

I'm pretty sure he also gave Murphy a medal, I seem to recall Danny metioning it.

Also fucking class when Baros wouldn't tap the ball back to Everton for a throw over by the Kemlyn. It was about a yard in front of him, about 5 minutes into the 2nd half. He just held his hands out in a "me no understandee" way - the ref had to run over and have a word after.

Houllier (he may have fucked over our lads in his feud with Heighway or his paranoia to try new things when the pressure was on but he knows what goes into making a hugely successful Academy) always said that the Academy system cannot be judged fairly until players are coming through who have been there from their start - that's from age 8 or 9. The set-up is supposed to be a huge advancement on the old one and therefore anyone not taught entirely under the new guidance is 'tainted'. Our U16s, according to many, are a very good team and these would be the first batch to have been there from the start. Judge it in 3 or 4 years when these guys are seen. There may be no stand-out world superstars like a Fowler, Owen & Gerrard (yet) but if 2 or 3 of them become a Carragher then we'll all be happy. Millions have gone into it thus far and another Gerrard would have been nice and it may seem like we've had little return but if the likes of Welsh, Mellor, Warnock and Raven become even just regular, reliable squad members (even playing just 10-15 games a season) and we're therefore spending less (on fees AND wages) on squad-filling shite like Biscan, Diao, Sinama and Josemi then it'll be a fair exchange for the initial investment. The Manc's view is interesting but as far as judging it all completely just wait until the true graduates come through.

Fair enough Hoff. :)

Hoff, your post appears to be copied directly from The S'n. Any explanation?

Unless I misheard, there were 2 Ryans given Player of the Month awards (January) on Wednesday night - are they brothers?

So, these sources that GH is on the take..... Local journalists? If there was even the tiniest shred of evidence they'd have been pushed all over a tabloid by now and that journo off to London on a big fat salary. Academy players? 17-year-old kids wanting to play the big 'I Am' with their Insider knowledge, perhaps with an agenda as they or their mates aren't getting games or are being pushed out. We've seen & heard footy Wicked Whisper stories like "Which Premiership manager has been a naughty boy........" (usually relating to Ferguson, Souness or Gregory) and, in absolute honesty, I think we've all looked at the vast number of signings, particularly young French players, and it's crossed our minds. And at the vast fee for Biscan - I'm all for buying young talent on the off-chance they'll come good, but for £5.5m I'd expect the finished article. But where the fuck did "he's bent" come from? Another desperate bid to make people hate him? Sure, he's got to go. But what's next - "he let Michael Jackson look after his kids"??? And as for the Allez chants and display, this thread perfectly highlights how something becomes Internet Fact. "He may misinterpret it, he will misinterpret it, he has, he did, he's twisted it 'cos he's an evil bastard from hell". FFS, he thanked the fans for it "because it's been a difficult couple of weeks" - clearly meaning the death threat & graffiti. Someone show me the quote where he's said "they did it because they're happy we're shit. So I'm going to make sure we're even shitter next season". Oh, I hurt Tom R's penis with a mong's electricity.

Berger's at Derby, 34 passes or whatever and then a thunderbolt. If Henry or especially Beckham had scored it we'd see it 5 times a day even now.

Rooney's so ugly his ma had to tie pork chops round his neck just so the dog would play with him.

To work out you new Gay Bond-baddie name: First use the 3rd letter of your first name to determine your new first name: A=poopsie, b=lumpy, c=buttercup, d=gidget, e=crusty, f=greasy, g=fluffy, h=cheeseball, I=chim-chim., j=stinky, k=flunky, l=boobie, m=pinky, n=zippy, o=goober, p=doofus, q=slimy, r=loopy, s=snotty, t=tulefel, u=dorkey, v=squeezit, w=oprah, x=skipper, y=dinky,z=zsa-zsa Next use the 2nd letter of your last name to determine the first half of your new last name: A=apple, b=toilet, c=giggle, d=burger, e=girdle, f=barf, g=lizard, h=waffle, I=cootie, j=monkey, k=potty, l=liver, m=banana, n=rhino, o=bubble, p=hamster,q=toad, r=gizzard, s=pizza, t=gerbil, u=chicken, v=pickle., w=chuckle, x=tofu, y=gorilla, z=stinker And finally use the 4th letter of your last name to determine the second half of your new last name: A=head, b=mouth, c=face, d=nose, e=tush, f=breath, g=pants, h=shorts, I=lips, j=honker, k=butt, l=brain, m=tushie, n=chunks, o=hiney, p=biscuits, q=toes, r=buns, s=fanny, t=sniffer, u=sprinkles, v=kisser, w=squirt, x=humperdinck, y=brains, z=juice Your sincerely Pinky Pizza-Sniffer

some of you guys like the older woman. So, Sheila Hancock - yes or no?

Steph, Flick or Michelle?

"And as for Susan Kennedy - gotta send you back to mid-September for posts on her" Shit! Just done a Forum Search on her name. Some of the posts were just fucking frightening - the Parrot?!!! LOL.