The world of a woman.

[Oh Buoy]

It should be legal to taser them when they kickstart the day with anarchy and argument. If this occurs on the weekend it should be standard procedure to sellotape them up and leave them outside for an hour until they decuntify. 

[Rico1304]

Our neighbours have just had their garden done. Took the gardeners 3 weeks, looks nice. His wife painted the pergola yesterday.  The beautiful terracotta tiles they paid a fortune for are now covered in paint.  

[Captain Turdseye]

She’s somehow ended up with the telly remote. It doesn’t normally go down like this. 
 

She’s finished ‘Married at First Sight’ and has now moved onto the Australian version. In the living room, man. This is supposed to be my domain. 

[Bobby Hundreds]

6 minutes ago, Captain Turdseye said:

She’s somehow ended up with the telly remote. It doesn’t normally go down like this. 
 

She’s finished ‘Married at First Sight’ and has now moved onto the Australian version. In the living room, man. This is supposed to be my domain. 

I've got my game room set up so I can go on a console or watch what I want too anyway she never leaves it because she gets lonely. So i can only use the room for what I intended it for when she's out. Fucking lonely..

[Captain Turdseye]

5 minutes ago, Bobby Hundreds said:

I've got my game room set up so I can go on a console or watch what I want too anyway she never leaves it because she gets lonely. So i can only use the room for what I intended it for when she's out. Fucking lonely..

She normally watches this shite upstairs, or goes round to her mate’s where they watch it together. There’s an unwritten rule that the remote is mine when the kids aren’t here. 
 

It’s making my blood boil. I’m quietly seething. They’re all knobheads on the show. Faking drama and all that. 
 

We’ve got Kodi here on the stick. She could watch anything in the world but she chooses this. It’s baffling. 

[Bjornebye]

2 minutes ago, Captain Turdseye said:

She normally watches this shite upstairs, or goes round to her mate’s where they watch it together. There’s an unwritten rule that the remote is mine when the kids aren’t here. 
 

It’s making my blood boil. I’m quietly seething. They’re all knobheads on the show. Faking drama and all that. 
 

We’ve got Kodi here on the stick. She could watch anything in the world but she chooses this. It’s baffling. 

And you come on the GF for more ! 

[Captain Turdseye]

14 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

And you come on the GF for more ! 

That’s the only reason I come on her. 

[Captain Turdseye]

It’s over. My huffing and tutting has had the desired effect. 
 

I’m putting Curb Your Enthusiasm on. 

[DalyanPete]

22 minutes ago, Captain Turdseye said:

It’s over. My huffing and tutting has had the desired effect. 
 

I’m putting Curb Your Enthusiasm on. 

Good man

[Paulie Dangerously]

We usually swap cars every fortnight. The car she was using has a slow puncture. It needs topping up every few weeks. 50p at the Asda. 2 minutes tops. This time we've had the same car for a month, swapped today and the tire was practically flat. 7 psi. I'm pretty sure she has been driving a dangerous vehicle. I asked why she didn't do it. She said it was my job. I asked why she didn't ask me and she had forgot. 

 

Gonna just get the tyre changed this weekend because she's been driving our daughter around with a wheel like that. Mindblowing. 

[manwiththestick]

1 hour ago, Paulie Dangerously said:

We usually swap cars every fortnight. The car she was using has a slow puncture. It needs topping up every few weeks. 50p at the Asda. 2 minutes tops. This time we've had the same car for a month, swapped today and the tire was practically flat. 7 psi. I'm pretty sure she has been driving a dangerous vehicle. I asked why she didn't do it. She said it was my job. I asked why she didn't ask me and she had forgot. 

 

Gonna just get the tyre changed this weekend because she's been driving our daughter around with a wheel like that. Mindblowing. 

I couple of years ago I had similar  her car had slow puncture, needed blowing up once a week and it was always me. One day I drove her to the garage which is literally around the corner and showed her how the airline worked, all good, or so I thought.

 

The following week I'm in work and she calls me almost in tears because she tried to use the airline but now her tyre is completely flat, she's asking me to leave work, drive 20 miles to the garage to help her, I told her to call my dad who would be five minutes away but she wouldn't as she felt like a div.

 

In the end I call my dad, he went out and blew it up no problem, it turns out she put the gun on the valve but didn't push the inflate trigger because she heard the hissing noise and assumed that was air going in.

[sir roger]

Her - I want to go to that DIY Kitchens place, can you find out where it is

 

Me - It says its near Pontefract

 

Her - Ooh we haven't been to Wales for ages.

 

Me - fuck sake

[Ne Moe Imya]

On 18/03/2022 at 05:32, Rico1304 said:

Our neighbours have just had their garden done. Took the gardeners 3 weeks, looks nice. His wife painted the pergola yesterday.  The beautiful terracotta tiles they paid a fortune for are now covered in paint.  

Reminds me of a story.

 

My Mrs. is a bit of a treasure hunter, she goes on Facebook Marketplace and finds old furniture for free/cheap, brings it home, fixes it up a bit and then sells it. More than makes back what she paid, not a huge money-maker but brings in a few hundred quid a month and she enjoys it.

 

So that's all grand, but one day she found something really special. Apparently just sat on the side of the road wrapped in a quilt was a huge chest of drawers, so she picked it up. Come home to find it in the garage, took one look and said "you sure this was on the side of the road?" Couldn't believe it!

 

The thing is genuine mahogany, pure hardwood, handmade dovetails, the lot. But then the argument started - she wanted to paint it white "as it would look really nice." I told her she was absolutely mental and that painting it would practically constitute a war crime.

 

She came around to my way of thinking when I went online and found the same dresser for sale online for $8,000.

[Jose Jones]

2 hours ago, Paulie Dangerously said:

We usually swap cars every fortnight. The car she was using has a slow puncture. It needs topping up every few weeks. 50p at the Asda. 2 minutes tops. This time we've had the same car for a month, swapped today and the tire was practically flat. 7 psi. I'm pretty sure she has been driving a dangerous vehicle. I asked why she didn't do it. She said it was my job. I asked why she didn't ask me and she had forgot. 

 

Gonna just get the tyre changed this weekend because she's been driving our daughter around with a wheel like that. Mindblowing. 

I'm guessing that when you swap over the car you've been driving is relatively tidy, but the one she's been driving is an absolute tip?

[Captain Turdseye]

7 hours ago, Jose Jones said:

I'm guessing that when you swap over the car you've been driving is relatively tidy, but the one she's been driving is an absolute tip?

We’ve been back to sharing a car for the last few years. Your post resonated deeply with me. 

[Creator Supreme]

I'm a bit of a scruffy bastard in the car, but it looks like it's just rolled out of the showroom compared to when the wife has it.

 

When we had two cars until last year, they were the same age and similar mileage, mine looked nice and clean, hers looked like the binmen had emptied the bins into it.

 

Sweet wrappers, empty cans and bottles, stained seats from drinks being spilled onto them. Drove me fucking mad.

[Remmie]

8 hours ago, sir roger said:

Her - I want to go to that DIY Kitchens place, can you find out where it is

 

Me - It says its near Pontefract

 

Her - Ooh we haven't been to Wales for ages.

 

Me - fuck sake

You should have just driven to Pontefract and not mentioned anything to see if she'd notice that you hadn't been to Wales. 

[Jose Jones]

36 minutes ago, Captain Turdseye said:

We’ve been back to sharing a car for the last few years. Your post resonated deeply with me. 

Yeah man, various bags and receipts and stuff all over the place, pairs of her shoes shoved under the pedals.

It was even worse when the kids were little, food and various wrappers and containers all over the back, too.

[redinblack]

2 minutes ago, Jose Jones said:

Yeah man, various bags and receipts and stuff all over the place, pairs of her shoes shoved under the pedals.

It was even worse when the kids were little, food and various wrappers and containers all over the back, too.

My car is immaculate, and will stay that way. Mrs RiBs car is a wreck, but she says I am "precious" about my car.

[Josef Svejk]

12 hours ago, Ne Moe Imya said:

Reminds me of a story.

 

My Mrs. is a bit of a treasure hunter, she goes on Facebook Marketplace and finds old furniture for free/cheap, brings it home, fixes it up a bit and then sells it. More than makes back what she paid, not a huge money-maker but brings in a few hundred quid a month and she enjoys it.

 

So that's all grand, but one day she found something really special. Apparently just sat on the side of the road wrapped in a quilt was a huge chest of drawers, so she picked it up. Come home to find it in the garage, took one look and said "you sure this was on the side of the road?" Couldn't believe it!

 

The thing is genuine mahogany, pure hardwood, handmade dovetails, the lot. But then the argument started - she wanted to paint it white "as it would look really nice." I told her she was absolutely mental and that painting it would practically constitute a war crime.

 

She came around to my way of thinking when I went online and found the same dresser for sale online for $8,000.

Sounds like theft to me. 

[Captain Turdseye]

Yeah, I think there’s criminality involved here. 

[YorkshireRed]

13 hours ago, sir roger said:

Her - I want to go to that DIY Kitchens place, can you find out where it is

 

Me - It says its near Pontefract

 

Her - Ooh we haven't been to Wales for ages.

 

Me - fuck sake

Pontefract is one of the five towns that make up the city of Wakefield. 
 

This news that I am in fact Welsh has come as something of a shock I can tell you. 
 

Although I have always enjoyed a nice bit of rarebit, so perhaps the signs were always there. 

[Captain Willard]

We share cars. In 16 years of being together she’s never once washed it, put petrol in it at best less than a dozen times and because she’s going deaf (ex raver) she leaves the radio on Kiss Fm cranked up very loud. I get it back with the petrol light on, the seat too far forward for me to get in and the mirrors all wrong. 

[Creator Supreme]

21 minutes ago, Captain Willard said:

We share cars. In 16 years of being together she’s never once washed it, put petrol in it at best less than a dozen times and because she’s going deaf (ex raver) she leaves the radio on Kiss Fm cranked up very loud. I get it back with the petrol light on, the seat too far forward for me to get in and the mirrors all wrong. 

I get either Capital or Smooth FM. Smooth I can handle, but Capital, sheesh! She does fill the bugger up though, and cleans it (outside) more often than I do.

[Section_31]

Her: "The sun's everywhere."

 

Me: "Well yes."