Steven Cook - didn't he used to post on YNWA?

[Kopite]

As Stevieboy2k as I recall.

 

BBC NEWS | Magazine | Missing... from afar

 

Missing... from afar

 

 

Where are they now?

 

 

By Marie Jackson and Dhruti Shah

BBC News Magazine

 

 

Nearly 500 Britons went missing abroad last year, according to figures obtained by the BBC. Many were found alive within days, some were discovered dead, but for lots of families it is a story without an ending.

 

Three years, eight months and 12 days ago Steven Cook went on a bar crawl with friends on the first night of their summer holiday in Crete.

 

They never saw him again.

 

"It's a bit like your house being hit by a tornado," explains his father, Norman Cook.

 

"Your life is ruined and you cannot rebuild it with new materials. It's never the same again."

 

Foreign Office records, released to the BBC News website under the Freedom of Information Act, showed 145 Britons were missing abroad at the end of 2008. Many had disappeared years earlier - their cases still unsolved.

 

The figure may not sound a lot but for every individual there is a family in torment, treading water, unable to get on with their lives.

 

BRITONS MISSING ABROAD

2008: 481 new cases reported. At end of year, a running total of 145 cases remained open

2007: 401 new cases reported. At end of year, a running total of 41 cases remained open

2006: 336 new cases reported. At end of year, a running total of 171 cases remained open

Accurate figures only go back to 2006

Source: Foreign Office

 

The Americans have given this a name - "ambiguous grieving" - a sort of limbo where you don't know whether to grieve or live in hope.

 

Denise Allan, who is still searching for her son, Charles, after nearly 20 years has a grave prepared for him back home.

 

For the Cook family on the other hand, it is a case of believing that "anything is possible" until they know otherwise, and doing whatever it takes to find Steven.

 

This has meant doing things they would never have thought possible - searching everywhere from mental institutions to caves for their youngest son, even scouring a quarry on the advice of a psychic.

 

That was a day Mr Cook, usually a sceptic, says will live with him forever.

 

"It had got to the point where I would have tried anything - just in case. I knew I was either looking for my son, seriously injured, or his corpse. I came down one side of the quarry shouting 'Steven, Steven', my nephew down the other. It was terrible to have to do that."

 

Birthday plans

 

That sense of desperation and dread is all too familiar to Denise Allan.

 

In May 1989, she had her last communication with her son, Charles Horvath-Allan, who was travelling through Canada.

 

It was a fax detailing flights to Hong Kong, where they were due to meet to celebrate his 21st birthday and her 40th.

 

Only silence followed. Mrs Allan began to worry, then panic.

 

"By August, I was totally deranged and rang to report him officially missing," she says.

 

But the Canadian police responded saying he was over 18 and "if he didn't want to call his mum, he didn't have to". There began a long, painful and financially crippling search for her son.

 

One of the bleakest moments came in 1992 after an anonymous letter indicated Charles had been killed at a party and his body dumped in a lake.

 

A team of divers scoured the lake, and on the sixth day found a male body. At a press conference, the police said it was Charles.

 

The news made the Sunday papers back in Britain, which were picked up by Charles' grandmother and great-grandmother. But the police had spoken too soon - it was not Charles after all.

 

"I ended up sending a three-page fax to all the world's media saying the only person who knows where my son is the person who took him and God almighty," says Mrs Allan.

 

"When the coroner told me it was not Charles, I was just mortified. I knew I had lost him. The three years of hell that we had endured was not over and it's now gone on nearly 20 years and it's still not over."

 

Such torment is by no means restricted to those whose loved ones have travelled overseas. But for them there is often an additional layer of anguish caused by having to deal with foreign authorities whose practices and customs may be wholly different from those of British police.

 

It leaves some families themselves turning detective, trying quickly to learn how to handle foreign authorities and mount a search operation themselves.

 

When I got off that plane to look for him, I expected a search plan, but there was none

 

Jacqui Hoyland did exactly that when her husband went missing on a water scooter off the Bali coast six months ago.

 

"When I got off that plane to look for him, I expected a search plan, but there was none," she says.

 

Meetings were set up with the British ambassador but things weren't happening quickly enough.

 

"Every second missing at sea matters. You can't have meetings for three days deciding what you are doing next," she says.

 

Instead, she resorted to her own professional project management skills to take control, launch a helicopter search and look for clues.

 

At one stage, she even managed to work out her husband's co-ordinates from his final mobile phone calls made at sea. Unfortunately those potentially vital clues came too late.

 

Negative publicity

 

A common experience can be hostility from foreign police forces and local authorities.

 

Some have a low opinion of British tourists and the associated drinking culture while others are afraid negative publicity will damage local tourism and make a big dent in income.

 

One of the toughest challenges though can be financial. Most families of missing people say there is no price too high in the search for their loved one.

 

But the reality of overseas flights, publicity material, detective bills and translators possibly combined with a reduced income can put a huge strain on families.

 

Worse still, there are the financial arrangements of the missing person to be dealt with, complicated by the lack of resolution.

 

We, as a family, have to know - good or bad - what has happened to Steven

 

It took Mr Cook's local MP to persuade the Student Loans Company to freeze the interest on Steven's loan.

 

Meanwhile, Mrs Hoyland is embroiled in a battle with Balinese authorities for a death certificate for her husband, needed to meet mortgage repayments.

 

Mrs Hoyland and Mrs Allan's experience may have come 20 years apart, but both were surprised by how little support they received.

 

The Foreign Office can help by setting up meetings abroad, advising on media campaigns and alerting border and international police, but it cannot help with funding.

 

Today, there are more groups trying to fill that gap, among them Missing Abroad, set up 18 months ago by Tim Blackman, father of murdered bar hostess Lucie, who disappeared in Tokyo in 2000.

 

In the past year, the project has handled about 100 cases. Of those, about 70 missing people were found, one had committed suicide, two remain outstanding and the rest resulted in a body being repatriated to Britain.

 

But what next for the families of those still missing? It seems, more than anything, they want an end to the story.

 

"We, as a family, have to know - good or bad - what has happened to Steven," says Mr Cook.

 

Mrs Allan believes Charles died in the summer of 1989.

 

"How and by what means I don't know but something terrible happened to him that prevented him from calling home," she says.

 

"I want to know where his remains are. I want him to be laid to rest with his beloved Nana."

[dirty_sanchez]

Yeah, he did. They have an appeal board on there for him and his brother still posts on there. Very sad.

[Tom R]

Fat Boy Slim is his Dad as well.

 

Hope he turns up. There are so many people who just vanuish every year. It's shit that some seem to get the puiblicity and others don't.

[RedinSweden]

It's horrible to read that. Total mindfuck to be involved with something like that.

[Sangria]

My heart goes out to his parents, I cannot even imagine how they cope. I remember reading a lot about it at the time and had hopes he would be found quickly but still to this day nothing. Very, very sad indeed.

[ToxtethTerror]

Steve's a bloody good bloke too in this day of stupidy on the net. A proper red who was always polite. Bloody sad story that, hope they find the lad he is only young.

[23_Carra_Gold]

He's the lad in the pink in the bottom left isn't he?

[dirty_sanchez]

Yep

[23_Carra_Gold]

Saw this on something a few weeks ago. Could have been Watchdog actually.

[The Tott]

Saw this on something a few weeks ago. Could have been Watchdog actually.

 

Yeah i saw the same thing. Absolutely heartbreaking for the poor family. Mate of mines brother went missing in dublin last december. He was missing for 4 days when his body was found in the canal. I saw what the family went through and it was heartbreaking, absolutely heartbreaking.

[philyhamann]

I was talking to him the day before he went on holiday on MSN

[dennis tooth]

They all look like the same person but t different periods of life.

[J-V]

His body has been found in a well in Crete according to BBC News Radio.

[Baltar]

His body has been found in a well in Crete according to BBC News Radio.

Sad if true. I used to post on YNWA years ago and his family and friends never gave up hope he might return home some day. Hopefully this will give the family some closure, can't imagine what life must have been like the past 11 years with them not knowing what became of Steven.

[jimmycase]

Sad news this. First holiday without his parents and never seen alive again. Must have hurt them terribly not knowing what had happened for all these years. Im sure they would have hoped he would walk through the door one day.

 

Least they now can grieve and have some closure.

 

YNWA lad.