So turns out I'm an idiot - any advice?

[Bob]

I've been annoyed for a while about a couple of things coax cables running across the wall in my lounge when my to point is down at the bottom corner and I don't have any other TVs in the house, so I just went about sorting things out.

 

One of these cables seemed to be running along the front of the house and so I've just cut it.

 

It seems that it was actually my broadband cable and I've now lost my internet.

 

So...

 

What are my options?

 

Phone virgin and admit to being a knob and ask how much they want to bend me over to fix it?

 

Have a go myself?

 

Phone an independent contractor to sort it?

 

Go...

[Fowlers God]

Blame it on vandalism and call Virgin

[Numero Veinticinco]

Pop to b and q and get either a new cable or a couple of connectors and a male to male thing so you can join it up. Shouldn’t be hard. Loads of tutorials on YouTube for it.

[Bob]

Pop to b and q and get either a new cable or a couple of connectors and a male to male thing so you can join it up. Shouldn’t be hard. Loads of tutorials on YouTube for it.

The join will be outside though - is that an issue? I expect so...

[TheHowieLama]

Blame it on vandalism and call Virgin

 

Do this bit but chew on it a little on either end and claim rodents.

Or pesky Brazilians.

[TheHowieLama]

Spunky - this post is tailor made for the I am Man thread btw.

[Numero Veinticinco]

The join will be outside though - is that an issue? I expect so...

Should be fine, it’s not electricity. Plus, the entire join will keep the water out. Then there’s always taping around it. It’ll be fine. Man up!

[Sputnik1]

You see those white metal rectangles on the walls, rip those fucker off too they're just taking up wall space.

[Bob]

You see those white metal rectangles on the walls, rip those fucker off too they're just taking up wall space.

I've electrocuted myself at least a dozen times unintentionally over the years. The 40A cooler supply was a doozie.

 

Add in the intentional ones and I'm well into triple figures.

[mattyq]

Don't do anything and hope it sorts itself out

[Bob]

Don't do anything and hope it sorts itself out

I've already turned my router off and on again but that hasn't helped at all.

[Spy Bee]

I'd pop to the local for a few pints and wait for it to all blow over.

[Rico1304]

Turn yourself on and off again.

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

Claim vandals. They'll believe it. No one is stupid enough to cut their own broadband lines.

[Guest Pistonbroke]

Claim vandals. They'll believe it. No one is stupid enough to cut their own broadband lines.

 

This. Better still, just call them and say your internet has gone down, they'll send a tech bod out (eventually) and presto, act surprised when it takes the useless fucker 2 hours to find the cause. 

[Chip Butty]

There is some really good electrical glue on the market these days thats great for such instances as this wanton act of mongness. 

[Kloppite]

This. Better still, just call them and say your internet has gone down, they'll send a tech bod out (eventually) and presto, act surprised when it takes the useless fucker 2 hours to find the cause.

Even better don't tell anyone what you've done and get someone to wait in for virgin media to come out fool proof.

[Bob]

Even better don't tell anyone what you've done and get someone to wait in for virgin media to come out fool proof.

I've only cut mine, I've not blacked out the street

 

Re-read your post. Unfortunately I'm single again so my only fool for that plan would be my girl, and I'm not brave enough to tell her the internets broke!

[Dave D]

Should be quite a simple fix, its not live.

 

As pointed out, some exceptionally helpful people n You Tube show you how to do all sorts.    

[Dougie Do'ins]

Just go to your local DIY shop and buy the items shown in this video. Should cost you no more than £5 and that's being very generous. If you don't think you can do this on your own then you seriously need to carry your own public health warning. 

 

 

A five year old could do it.

[TheHowieLama]

 I'm not brave enough to tell her the internets broke!

 

Wait til she figures it out and have her call it in

[Evelyn Tentions]

Wait until it's dark and go out and cut everyone else in the streets.

Wait for one of them to report it first.

PS check for cctv first

[TheHowieLama]

You should prolly have her do this as well Spunker.

[Thoth]

Put a cotton reel between the two ends and tell her you have installed fibre

[Pureblood]

You need to fix it as a matter of extreme urgency.  I'd be inconsolable by now.