Premier League Round Up (Oct 14-16 2017)

[tlw content]

I suspect when I finally come to terms with the fact that the wait for the title goes on for yet another year and I start to view this season through the prism of a battle for a top four spot, I’ll be much happier.

 

I mean, I wasn’t necessarily expecting to win the title this season but I don’t think it was too much to ask for us to still be in the hunt in October. Nine points behind after eight games though. Kinell. 

On the bright side, Arsenal and Chelsea are in exactly the same boat as us and Spurs are only two points better off. So as frustrating as it’s been, things are only ‘bad’ if you’re thinking “title or bust”, which - rightly or wrongly - a lot of us are. 

City will win this league by at least 15 points. They might go unbeaten too, as the only teams who could upset them are us, Spurs and maybe United if Mourinho can somehow shithouse them to death. If that happens it would make us missing out on it again a little easier to take as long as we’re right in with the chasing pack. 

 

City are going to score a record amount of goals too, I don’t think that’s even in any doubt. They’ve scored 29 already. I mean fucking hell, that puts them on pace for… *opens up calculator app on the laptop* … 138 goals!!! 

 

Seven of them came last weekend when they walloped Stoke. They raced into a 3-0 lead and then eased off a bit. Instead of staying on the floor and thanking their lucky stars that City were showing mercy on them and walking away, Stoke got up and slapped them in the face. Not once, but twice. City then got mad and just bludgeoned them to a bloody pulp. 

 

All I’m reading in recent weeks is how De Bruyne is now the best player in the Premier League. He is, he’s incredible, but some of us were saying it two years ago. By some of us, I mean me, in case you hadn’t picked up on that. 

 

City’s fans don’t deserve him though. You have a player like that and your song for him is that “Oh Kevin De Bruyne” White Stripes shite? Terrible business that when its any player (unless his name fits into the song without putting an “oh” in front of it), but when he’s the best in the league? Personally I’d deduct points for that. 

 

Mind you, I’d deduct points from us too as it seems like we’ve completely given up trying to come up with good songs for our players. We’re at an all time low on that front I think. Fucking lazy bastards can only be arsed signing for Coutinho, Mané and Wijnaldum. The other poor bastards get nothing. 

 

I don’t like City’s keeper, for no particular reason other than he just looks like a twat to me, and - daft as it sounds - I’m rarely wrong when I judge people purely on appearance. Hopefully someone else kicks him in the head soon, the tattooed wanker. Ok ok, that wasn’t nice and I didn’t really mean it. I’m just sick of the City wankfest and how it seems to be overlooked that they’ve spent billions of pounds that they don’t actually have, the financial fair play dodging cunts. And fuck Guardiola and his stupid bald head too. 

 

While City streak away at the top, with United clinging to their coat tails, the rest of us continue to throw points away. We think we’ve got problems, but fucking hell, Chelsea lost to Hodgson’s Palace, who prior to this game hadn’t even scored, let alone won. They followed that up by blowing a 2-0 lead and drawing 3-3 with Roma, and stories are coming out now about their players not being on the same page as Conte. Be interesting to keep an eye on that. 

 

As for Palace, well Cabaye finally broke their three month duck with a deflected goal but minutes later Chelsea had levelled through Bakayoko. The returning Zaha (who was brilliant) restored Palace’s advantage with a superbly taken goal after being played in by ‘Big Mama’. 

 

Sidenote; I wonder if Sakho calls Selhurst Park ‘Big Mama’s House’? I’d like to think he does, as I defo would if I was him. 

 

As good as Zaha’s goal was, the undoubted highlight of this game was in the dying seconds when Sakho found the ball at his feet in his own penalty area by the goal-line and incredibly tried to back heel it off Fabregas to win a goal-kick. Instead he put a chance on a plate for the Spaniard but his shot from a tight angle flashed across the goal. Peak Sakho that. 

 

I see that Chelsea have got three players out with hamstring injuries. Since when do Chelsea lose players to muscle injuries? What’s going on there, has Abramovich cut the budget for the arl blood doping this year? 

 

 

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[aws]

My bet is the first and last player picked up by this diving panel will be one of ours - probably Coutinho or Salah.

[buster69]

Good report Dave. The only thing I wasn't happy about was you having a go at Pep for being bald.As a follicaly challenged man myself we are but victims of faulty genetics.Slag off the guys with the neck tatoos all you like though.They're just idiots.

[Mark M]

Good stuff again Dave.

Need to change the report name to premier league roundup & laughing at Everton in Europe.

[sir roger]

Finally got a guy banned over the diving and surprise, surprise he is some unknown bloke from Torquay or somewhere like that.

[DaveT]

Hilarious. also had me nostalgic for the Seventies when the Kop had a song for every player and sang them all during the warm up. Of course, we only used about 14 players in the whole season those days. It was also a time when players had personalities and weren't media trained to the point of terminal blandness - and it wasn't unusual for opponents to share a joke - or proper punches.*sighs*

[dave u]

Good report Dave. The only thing I wasn't happy about was you having a go at Pep for being bald.As a follicaly challenged man myself we are but victims of faulty genetics.Slag off the guys with the neck tatoos all you like though.They're just idiots.

 

Didn't mean to offend any of you slapheads reading. I just like ripping Pep over his lack of hair, because there's precious little else to take the piss out of him over is there? The twat.

 

Finally got a guy banned over the diving and surprise, surprise he is some unknown bloke from Torquay or somewhere like that.

 

Token gesture. Agree with AWS, it'll be one of ours who is the first (and probably last) high profile one.

 

Hilarious. also had me nostalgic for the Seventies when the Kop had a song for every player and sang them all during the warm up. Of course, we only used about 14 players in the whole season those days. It was also a time when players had personalities and weren't media trained to the point of terminal blandness - and it wasn't unusual for opponents to share a joke - or proper punches.*sighs*

 

All the hysteria over that Blue last night got me thinking about the time someone ran on from the Kemlyn and lamped Kevin Bond, a few days after Walshy had done it to him at the Dell. Imagine if that happened now? He'd be jailed. Not sure what his actual punishment was, as it didn't get much publicity at the time from what I can recall.

[Ipplfc]

Good report that,if you want to take the piss out of pep,take the piss out of his baseball boots,pretty sure you won’t offend anyone on here(hopefully)

[buster69]

I'm surprised that Pep hasn't gone down the hair transplant route actually. Seeing as that's what Klopp and Conte have done.