Premier League Round Up (Sep 30-Oct 1 2017)

[tlw content]

Another week to forget. While we are unable to shake the habit of the last twenty odd years and continue to drop points to shite, the other top clubs roll on like juggernauts opening up a gap that is probably already too wide for us to close.
 
At least the Reds can’t ruin this weekend, unless of course some of them get crocked on international duty, and let’s be honest it would be more of a surprise if that didn’t happen. 
 
It’s really not been a good week for me. When the footy is getting me down I have a couple of forms of escape. There’s the NFL and there’s my xbox one. I love NFL Sundays but my Bears are fucking hopeless, meaning when the reds have let me down there’s never a pick me up, only double whammy because the Bears stink. Last week they got embarrassed by the Packers, which is the equivalent of being stuffed by the Mancs. 
 
Still, at least there’s the xbox, and specifically Star Wars Battlefront, which is my usual game of choice. I’m not great but I can hold my own when it’s a level playing field, which is the least you’d expect considering the stupid amount of hours I’ve logged on it. It’s not always a level playing field though, like this week when I’m in a game and some little virgin got to play as Han Solo, which as anyone who’s played Battlefront knows, means you have to shoot the fucker approximately 3 billion times to kill him.
 
Not only that, but one shot from him and you’re brown bread. So this fucker is repeatedly killing me over and over and as you can imagine, it’s not much fun. I tend to be on a short fuse when I’m playing Battlefront anyway, but I was getting more and more agitated by this tit and my missus was giving me a hard time because I’m swearing at the screen. 
 
So the game finishes, and you'll never guess what. I only get a message pop up from this twat who’d been repeatedly doing me in. Firstly I had no idea you could even send messages to random strangers, and secondly I had no idea what it meant, as I don’t speak nerd unfortunately. The message simply said REKT and had a couple of smilies after it. I sat there trying to figure out 1) what it meant and 2) why this fucker is messaging me. 
 
In the end I googled it, and that tipped me over the edge….. 

 

 
Muthafucka. I put the xbox on to get away from stress, not to be ripped on by some fucking virgin who has no doubt never had a girlfriend in his sad pathetic little life because he spends all his time playing Battlefront with the deck stacked in his favour as Han Solo, and then, AND THEN, has the fucking balls to be talking smack to people he doesn’t even know. Honestly, if I'd have had his name and address I’d have gone round there and then, I was fucking seething. Bet he’s a fucking Chelsea fan. 
 
If my hunch is right, then his team got 'REKT' by City on Saturday. It was an awful lot more convincing than the 1-0 scoreline suggests as Chelsea couldn’t lay a glove on them. I’m not sure what’s going on here as I’m not having it that City’s defence or keeper are actually any good, but no fucker can score past them at the moment, it’s ridiculous. If they are actually good then fucking God help everyone else, we all may as well pack up and go home because they’ll score a shitload of goals with the firepower they have. 
 
Chelsea were really disappointing though. I expected them to put up more of a fight than this and they looked pretty toothless. Of course it doesn’t help when Morata goes off injured and Conte has such little faith in Batshuayi that he decides he’d rather play without a striker. He’s their Divock Origi isn’t he? He’ll be on loan in Germany next year. 

 

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[razor]

Binary Burnley.

[Frank Dacey]

Dalgush?

[Trumo]

Dalgush?

 

Good job he never put it on the back of his shirt really.

[piphomer]

Leicester lost to us so they must be really shit.

[an tha]

"At least the Reds can’t ruin this weekend, unless of course some of them get crocked on international duty, and let’s be honest it would be more of a surprise if that didn’t happen"

 

Oh aye!

[The Golden Eel]

Richarlison looks like a good player to me. I watched Watford twice this season (on top of when they played us) and he's stood out both times. Going to end up looking a bargain at £13 million

[Mark M]

"At least the Reds can’t ruin this weekend, unless of course some of them get crocked on international duty, and let’s be honest it would be more of a surprise if that didn’t happen"

 

Oh aye!

 

Bookmark this under we've no shit players anymore thread and we'll batter Newcastle. 

If Dave U backs the Mancs to win this weekend i'd be confident we could get a result.

[dave u]

Bookmark this under we've no shit players anymore thread and we'll batter Newcastle. 

If Dave U backs the Mancs to win this weekend i'd be confident we could get a result.

 

Hold on, I called that one right! I said it would be more of a surprise if someone didn't get injured. You can't pin this one on me.

[buster69]

I did love that Playstation story I have to say. More stories from the Life of Dave please.

[VladimirIlyich]

The Bears and the Fudge Packers? Great way to spend a weekend!

[William_Ulsterman]

had a good laugh at this one.