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Lazy twats


Harry Squatter
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Anyone know any really bad lazy twats?.

 

I work with some fella who has managed to convince our management that he's had loads of health problems and family emergencies. He was caught at his desk today snoring his head off for 45 minutes and was only woken up when someone dropped a load of files on his desk and he shat himself. He always miraculously has 2 weeks off sick every year at the same time as Wimbledon.

 

My brother is also a lazy cunt. When he had his own house he would never clean it but just brush the carpet and leave it in a corner. His weekends consisted of waking up at 3pm and watching shit telly for years on end. He had a party in his garden once in June and took his table out of his living room and put it outside. The lazy cunt left it outside until December, by this time it had fallen apart due to the bad weather. When I asked him he said he couldn't be arsed bringing it in because he always watched telly and ate on the sofa.

 

My mates nephew is a massive lazy cunt and got sacked a few weeks ago from his job because he was always turning up late. He went to a final warning and told the person disciplining him that he didn't think he could make it in for 9am because he has trouble getting out of bed every day.

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I was a lazy twat this morning, cooked three sausages, five bacon and two eggs. I'm a lazy twat because I didn't have any beans.

 

I'm a lazy twat.

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My brother's windscreen wipers broke in May, he got them fixed last week because he couldn't be arsed. If it looked like rain he wouldn't drive. One of his mates has a garage and said he'd do it for a tenner. Still took him 6 weeks to get it done.

 

He was once 3 hours late for his own birthday drinks as he couldn't be arsed getting ready.

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A woman I know hasn't done a shop for 4 years. She gets everything delivered to her house even though she lives about 5 minutes drive away from Asda. Coincidentally she is a big fat twat.

Nothing wrong with that have you seen the twats you have to deal with in the supermarket? I live in town, have an M&s 2 mins walk away and Asda or Tesco 5 Mins drive. I order online it's a massive time saver.

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Guest Pistonbroke

One of my best mates used to throw all his plates, glasses and cutlery in the bin because he couldn't be arsed washing up. It became cheaper for the lazy fuck to get a takeaway every night. 

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Nothing wrong with that have you seen the twats you have to deal with in the supermarket? I live in town, have an M&s 2 mins walk away and Asda or Tesco 5 Mins drive. I order online it's a massive time saver.

 

I used to use it as well, back in my single days. I didn't have a car back then, so I had the option of paying 5 quid for delivery, or going and doing it myself and dealing with all of the cuntery that goes with it and then have to pay 5 quid for a cab home with several heavy bag of shopping.

 

The very definition of a "no brainer".

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My brother in law's wife

 

Idle do-fuck-all. Sits in all day not even keeping the house clean watching their £100 a month Virgin package whilt Brother in law works in a warehouse at all hours. They're always crying poverty and claim she can't find a job, not even a part time cleaning job to contribute to the house bills, because of immigrants but I went out of my way to check the job market where they live and there's loads.

 

She hasn't once been to see her dad in law since he's been ill and in a home, they live an hour away, I live a 8 hour round trip and have been several times.

 

Never comes to family get togethers. I've known Lady D for 6 years and She's only left her county once to my knowledge when it was the family Matriarchs 90th birthday in Paris and all she did was moan there was no chips in the fabulous restaurant she wasn't paying for.

 

She's also a Brexiteer but doesn't vote.

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One of my best mates used to throw all his plates, glasses and cutlery in the bin because he couldn't be arsed washing up. It became cheaper for the lazy fuck to get a takeaway every night. 

At uni we couldn't be arsed with washing up, so bought a load of paper plates instead and binned them afterwards. We told a mates mum, who said as a joke "why don't you just put cling film over your existing plates". We thought she was a genius ahead of her time. We still never actually got round to cling filming plates though and carried on with our paper plate phenomenon.

 

4 lads in that house, it was an absolute shithole.

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Guest Pistonbroke

At uni we couldn't be arsed with washing up, so bought a load of paper plates instead and binned them afterwards. We told a mates mum, who said as a joke "why don't you just put cling film over your existing plates". We thought she was a genius ahead of her time. We still never actually got round to cling filming plates though and carried on with our paper plate phenomenon.

 

4 lads in that house, it was an absolute shithole.

 

I'm thinking a lot of students do that. My mate turned to the paper plate and plastic cutlery thing but then advanced to the "can't be arsed cooking" stage. 

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My mate Noel went to the same takeaway 9 nights running. When he was running low on student loan funds he used to eat a tin of potatoes every day. I had to virtually beg him to use my salt and butter to season it with as he had none himself and hadn't even considered it.

 

He had a cooking difficulty scale and considered opening a packet of crisps as a medium level cooking difficulty

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Guest Pistonbroke

My mate Noel went to the same takeaway 9 nights running. When he was running low on student loan funds he used to eat a tin of potatoes every day. I had to virtually beg him to use my salt and butter to season it with as he had none himself and hadn't even considered it.

 

He had a cooking difficulty scale and considered opening a packet of crisps as a medium level cooking difficulty

 

Doesn't every University have a mensa where the students can eat for a few notes? 

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Nothing wrong with that have you seen the twats you have to deal with in the supermarket? I live in town, have an M&s 2 mins walk away and Asda or Tesco 5 Mins drive. I order online it's a massive time saver.

Fair enough but she even orders her kids clothes online and when they don't fit she sends them back by delivery. Would be easier if she just took the kids to the shop but that's too much effort for her.

 

I think I've mentioned her on the world of a woman thread. Her husband was left a lot of money when his mum died. She's decided to spend the lot on moving to a new house , selling their old one at a loss to one of those shark companies who offer you shit prices for your house because she couldnt be arsed waiting. She's bought brand new furniture rather than keeping her old stuf. She went to Centerparcs the other week but paid for 2 girls she knows to come and look after her kids because she's too lazy to spend any time with them. She also bins them off to every after school club going so the only interaction she really has with them is getting them ready for school and putting them to bed.

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There was a lad on my uni course who would just turn up for the first 3 weeks of the course then disappear. No one would see him until about 2 weeks before the exams and he'd start asking round for copies of people's notes and ask people if he could revise and study with him. No one had a clue where he'd been for most of the year, by the looks of him though he'd spent all his money on ale and weed.

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My brother in law's wife

 

Idle do-fuck-all. Sits in all day not even keeping the house clean watching their £100 a month Virgin package whilt Brother in law works in a warehouse at all hours. They're always crying poverty and claim she can't find a job, not even a part time cleaning job to contribute to the house bills, because of immigrants but I went out of my way to check the job market where they live and there's loads.

 

She hasn't once been to see her dad in law since he's been ill and in a home, they live an hour away, I live a 8 hour round trip and have been several times.

 

Never comes to family get togethers. I've known Lady D for 6 years and She's only left her county once to my knowledge when it was the family Matriarchs 90th birthday in Paris and all she did was moan there was no chips in the fabulous restaurant she wasn't paying for.

 

She's also a Brexiteer but doesn't vote.

 

We've voted for Brexit now (well, not me, but some people), and loads of the immigrants have gone back home. Tell her there are plenty of jobs going. That's why she wanted Brexit, right?

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