Liverpool 0 Plymouth Argyle 0 (Jan 8 2017)

[tlw content]

Well that was dull. And by dull, I mean an audiobook of Roy Hodgson reading “War and Peace” dull. Absolutely nothing happened. Literally nothing. Their keeper didn’t have to make a save of any note, and ours… well ours might as well have been subbed to get another forward on. Seriously, we could have played “goalie when needed” and Plymouth wouldn’t have scored in a month of Sundays. 
 
Did they actually know they weren’t playing against our first team? I know they’re only League Two, but they’re second in that league so they must be in pretty good form and be full of confidence. So to come here and play like that, against a team with an average age of 21 (despite the presence of Lucas!), was just fucking weird. 
 
Why would they not have had a go? It was a risky approach by them and if we played this game ten times we’d win the other nine. They got away with it on the day but it wasn’t the defensive masterclass their deluded manager thinks it was. He actually said afterwards this was one of the greatest defensive performances Anfield has ever seen. YOU WERE PLAYING OUR RESERVES, NUMBNUTS. 
 
They’ve made a few quid so good luck to them, and they got themselves a replay which will earn them another nice payday. If they play like this again they’ll lose 3-0. Surely they can’t play like that again though? They have to have a bit of a go at home, which will allow people like Ojo and Woodburn a bit more room to play on the break.
 
I can only remember one counter attacking opportunity in the whole game, and that was when they reluctantly sent some players forward for a set-piece. Karius ended up with the ball in his hands, he bowled it out to Can who just ran it all the way up his own arse. 
 
Obviously even allowing for it being a weakened team this wasn’t a good performance and having to now further congest the fixture list by shoehorning in a replay isn’t ideal, but it’s not the end of the world either. I can even put a positive spin on it if you like, as in terms of experience this is great for the younger players because not only will they get another run out in the replay, but this game was a great learning curve for them.

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[Josef Svejk]

War and Peace is a masterpiece, so the analogy collapses right there. Roy Hodgson reading The Da Vinci Code? Or his own autobiography?

[Jairzinho]

A transcript of The Last of the Summer Wine.

[Josef Svejk]

A transcript of The Last of the Summer Wine.

Every hilarious episode...

[Denny Crane]

Talking of Hodgson; I missed this .

 

He rang the wrong number and left a never ending voicemail for Jagielka.

 

I can't think of a more suitable thread.

 

https://mobile.twitter.com/Coral/status/815137425664000000/video/1

[bigal]

Some shocking long shots didn't help either, how come they bang it in at all angles in training and the warm up then seem to lose the plot in a match?

Origi and Can were shockingly bad, some of the youngsters didn't make any real case for themselves either but hey another match, another chance.

[Trumo]

Hodgson actually reads the phone book for entertainment.

[setreal]

Hodgson actually reads the phone book for entertainment.

 

[Babb'sBurstNad]

War and Peace is a masterpiece, so the analogy collapses right there. Roy Hodgson reading The Da Vinci Code? Or his own autobiography?

 

Woy and Peace: An Autobiography

[stringvest]

'he bowled it out to Can who just ran it all the way up his own arse.'

 

Perfect.  That describes Can to a tee.  I'm not sure that's going to be beaten all year.  Great stuff as usual Dave.

[shouter]

Gomez has defo been pumping iron as he's massive, and not the string been he was before his injury. Orig did me head in all game and his movement was terrible. Reminded me of what he was like when he first started playing under klopp October 2015.

[Paul]

"Goalie when needed"? "Rush keeper", surely?

[Frank Dacey]

'Goalie on the spot' when I was a kid.

[Paul]

What??? Some mad shit going on here.

[DaveT]

Can was ordinary, he was not 'shockingly bad'. What few moments of penetration we had in the first half mostly came from him, and the Ojo chance came when Can won the ball in the air. 

[Paul]

In the context of the opposition, "ordinary" from a Liverpool first team player has to be shit, in my view.

[alles ist gut]

Point of order, Mr. Chairman; it was five teenagers in the starting line-up.

We still should have picked at least one player that regularly takes free-kicks, and maybe one player with the ability to get his head on a corner.

[Captain Turdseye]

Talking of Hodgson; I missed this .

 

He rang the wrong number and left a never ending voicemail for Jagielka.

 

I can't think of a more suitable thread.

 

https://mobile.twitter.com/Coral/status/815137425664000000/video/1

Jesus Christ. Woy is probably the reason Jagielka changed his phone number in the first place.

[Kevin D]

"Goalie when needed"? "Rush keeper", surely?

Last man back.

[William Morris]

It's "goalie when ness," surely?

Though I'm not sure all the kids playing it knew "ness" was short for necessary.

[manwiththestick]

Just "goalie when" for me.

[Grinch]

Fly keeper

[stringvest]

some wrong uns in this thread

[Talismanic]

Goalie in and out surely?

[Tony Moanero]

Goalie in and out surely?

Yer ma's farts are boss, they smell of Parma Violets.