Premier League Round Up (Dec 3-5 2016)

[tlw content]

I feel partly responsible for what happened to us at Bournemouth because of how much I was ripping Man City’s comical defending on Twitter after their shambolic second half display against Chelsea. “All season people have been going on about our defence, but we look like Capello’s Milan compared to City. Abysmal.” 
 
As far as tweets go, that’s one I’d like back as it wasn’t long before our lads were ramming those words back down my throat and making me look like a right walloper. I realise I'm sat in a greenhouse lobbing bricks here, but City’s defence and keeper are a joke. It’s also fair to point the finger at Flat Track Pep and his bizarre tactical set up too. 
 
That being said, in the rush to crown Chelsea as Champions elect people seem to be forgetting that City were well on top for most of this game and had De Bruyne not fluffed his lines from two yards out they’d probably have won the game and we’d all be signing a different tune. 
 
How events unfolded after De Bruyne’s shocker changes the way we view the entire game, but City were well in control prior to that. That sitter was the turning point and City’s inability to defend any kind of counter attack was embarrassing. 
 
In terms of price tag and reputation compared to production on the field, John Stones might be the most over-rated player of all time. Bang average. Otamendi isn’t even that, he’s just shite, the hipster looking fraud. And last but not least you’ve got Kolorov, a defensively suspect, snail paced full back who is decent going forward because he can spray passes around and can cross and shoot. Naturally, Guardiola plays him as one of his back three, because he’s Pep the Innovator, the football genius who sees things no-one else sees. You’re not in Kansas now, Dorothy. 
 
I’ve said it all season, put them up against a coach who knows what he’s doing and City are going to have problems. They’ve got so much talent in the team it will still be enough to win plenty of games, especially when they’re beating up on the shite (they do this as well as anyone), so they’re a threat for the title, but there’s nothing scary about City, unless you’re a mop headed Brazilian who happens to be in the path of Sergio Aguero, but I’ll get to that. 
 
As for Chelsea, it’s too early to be sure but you’ve got to be worried that they might actually be the real deal. I still feel / hope that eventually teams will figure out the three at the back and start to get at them a bit more, but they’ve been solid defensively and with Costa and Hazard in the team they’ll be a threat to anyone. Take one or both of them out and that changes everything, but that probably won’t happen as Chelsea never get injuries even though they send out virtually the same eleven players every fucking week and have done ever since Abramovich showed up. 
 
I always imagine their training ground to resemble Ivan Drago’s set up in Rocky 4, with their players getting all sorts pumped into them. There’s defo something iffy going on as all the other top clubs lose players on a weekly basis. Why not them? Dodgy bastards. 
 
They had plenty of luck against City, as Sideshow Bob should have been sent off in the first half for cynically - and blatantly - taking out Aguero. Anthony Taylor saw it but and gave nothing. Gundogen was then upended by Kante in the box and again Taylor waved it away. He then sent off two City players in stoppage time, but as I said, I’ll get to that in a sec. Fair to say we know what half of Manchester Taylor comes from, the fucking slaphead. 

 

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[grazywalker]

That story reminds me of Jimmy Grimble .... "give it to Gordon,give it to Gordon"

[buster69]

I can't understand why Pep doesn't get Xavi to play in goal for him. I mean, he can actually pass the ball, and he can hardly save less shots.

 

Love the Jose Mourinho stuff as well. Any Goodfellas reference is good with me.

[Tj hooker]

Brilliant we need more story's of Daves exploits