Two vastly different games, but there was no shortage of drama in either semi final. Have you ever seen anything like that first half of the Brazil - Germany game? Considering the quality of players on view and the stakes they were playing for, I’d say it was most astonishing half an hour of football I’ve seen in my lifetime. I’ve been saying since the start that Brazil are shit, but I meant it in relative terms, as in they’re shit by Brazil standards, they’re not the fucking Faroe Islands. And yet Germany made them look like the fucking Faroe Islands.
At 1-0 it was fine, nothing untoward going on as Brazil were still in the game and had some chances.It was shaping up to be a cracking contest. Then they went 2-0 down and just completely imploded in spectacular fashion. Four goals in about six minutes or something, it was astonishing. It was hard to comprehend what was actually happening, so much so that I didn’t even really cheer the goals or revel in the Brazilian misery. In fact, it felt a little bit uncomfortable. Like watching a really shit comedian dying on stage. I’ve wanted them to lose since the very first game yet for some reason there wasn’t any real satisfaction in this, I was just squirming uncomfortably in my seat.
I’m not even sure why that was, I think I was just stunned at what was happening and with them being the hosts it just felt even more surreal. I snapped out of it in the second half and was then wanting Germany to hit ten and really rub Brazilian noses in it, but I’ll take the seven I guess. They were fucking brilliant. Say all you like about how bad Brazil were, but still, Germany’s players were phenomenal, especially Kroos, Khedira, Muller, Schweinsteiger and Lahm. Brazil had no answer to it, but the occasion clearly got to them and they were far too hyped up for their own good.
The build up had been all about the absence of Neymar. It was embarrassing, the whole ‘let’s do it for Neymar’ crap was ridiculous. “We’re playing for Neymar” said Scolari beforehand. No, you're playing for the millions of Brazilian supporters, not one little gobshite. They were even holding up his shirt during the anthem. He’s injured, not dead. Man up you bunch of fannies.
Brazil beat themselves. They got worked up into a frenzy during the anthem and when things started going badly they couldn’t cope. They wanted to win so badly they lost all discipline and shape when they fell behind. The decision making was awful from their players, they completely panicked when Germany got on top of them and instead of just battening down the hatches for a while they were all charging around trying to force it and they just made things worse.
None more so than the hilarious Sideshow Bob, but I’ll get to him in a sec. Poor old Fred bore the brunt of the fans anger. I saw a stat that said he touched the ball nine times in the first half, six of them were restarts after Germany goals. On the plus side, I bet he had a great pass completion percentage. He was involved a bit more after the break but his every touch was booed before he was subbed after Germany’s sixth goal to a chorus of jeers. You’re 6-0 down you thick twats!! Your shit centre forward is the last person to blame for that. Embarrassing that the likes of Luiz and Marcelo got away with it whilst poor Fred got the bird. Clueless twats, I’m made up they lost, those fans don’t deserve to win a world cup the fickle bastards.
The performance of Luiz was incredible. He was like a parody of a parody of himself. His heat map said it all, he was popping up all over the field, in fact he was everywhere except where he was supposed to be, hence the Germans just walking through to score seven goals. What a selfish prick though, that was such an irresponsible performance from him. Hollywood balls all over the place, constantly charging forward with the ball and abandoning his post and diving in to try and win challenges instead of defending properly.
He’s been acting like Mr Brazil all fucking tournament, giving it the beans in the national anthem and over egging the celebrations. All the praying he’s been doing at full time too is complete overkill. He led a prayer meeting at the end of this one too, not sure what he’ll have been saying there like. “Please Lord, let them blame Fred and Scolari instead of me” perhaps? Well that prayer was answered by the looks of it.
Then the tears started, and never stopped. Fair enough, he was always going to be in tears after that, it’s kind of understandable given the circumstances. But he seemed to stay on the pitch for an age. The Germans had celebrated with their fans, enjoyed the victory and then headed back to the dressing room. Luiz was still on the pitch, still crying. He may not have picked up any defensive tips from John Terry during his time at Chelsea, but in terms of blubbering after a defeat he’s definitely learnt from the master. It smacked to me of him looking for sympathy and wanting everyone to see how much he cares.
Tell you what though, this game has done wonders for the reputation of Thiago Silva. Widely regarded as the best centre back in the world anyway, he might actually be the best centre half to have ever played the game on the evidence of this. He’s single handedly kept that back line together, and by the looks of it he’s been the only thing standing between Luiz and a complete meltdown.
The lesson here is that Brazil should not be trying to play like a European side, and by European side I obviously mean San Marino. They need to get rid of that Chelsea stained manager and get someone in who wants to attack and let the players express themselves. Then they need to fuck off the yard dogs they’ve got up front and pick some proper Brazilians like Coutinho, Lucas Moura etc If they get back to being the Brazil I grew up with, I’m sure people will start rooting for them again. This group are the most disliked Brazil side ever, because there’s no flair, no fun, no Samba.
Germany though, bloody hell. They’ve got great players everywhere, on the pitch, on the bench, even watching at home. You know what else is great about them? They look like proper footballers. By that I mean old school footballers, not today’s breed of fucking preening, posing wankers. Half the players in this World Cup look like rejects from Geordie Shore, but not the Germans. There’s barely a stupid haircut or sleeve tattoo in sight with them boys. Can you imagine Thomas Muller tatting himself up like Neymar? Or rocking up with a haircut like Vidal?
How about that Schurrle though? He’s been great whenever he’s been on the field in this competition and his second goal against Brazil was just an incredible finish (the pass from Muller was awesome too). Turns out that when he’s not being stifled by that shitbag Mourinho he’s actually a hell of a player. Who knew?
In contrast, the other semi was pretty dire but still provided drama due to it going to pens. It wasn’t good to watch as it was basically two sides cancelling each other out and setting up to stop the opposing teams superstar. De Jong nullified Messi for an hour, and then his replacement Clasie came on and did likewise, although by that point Messi looked like he’d just given up anyway. He really doesn’t run much does he? Mascherano did a similar job on Robben, and with those two being kept quiet there was nothing else happening up front.
Mascherano has been phenomenal all tournament. He won’t be anywhere near any Golden Ball award as he’s not glamorous enough, but what a player. That stoppage time block he made on Robben was something else, but he was pulling that kind of shit all night. Any time Robben got away from somebody and looked like he might be about to threaten, the Chief was on the spot to snuff it out. His performance was all the more remarkable as he clearly had a concussion after a sickening clash of heads early in the game.
Robben will be seeing him in his nightmares for months, and no doubt when he got back to his hotel and looked in the mirror, he’ll have seen Mascherano stood behind him like the frigging Candyman. Messi may be the man entrusted with winning games for Argentina, but it’s Mascherano that ensures they don’t lose them. Damn I miss him.
Neither side ever looked like winning it during normal time, and extra time was even more cagey. In the end you got the feeling they were both happy for it to go to pens but this time Van Gaal couldn’t get Krul on as he’d used all his subs. No big deal though, right? Well actually yeah it was, because we saw exactly why Van Gaal didn’t want Cillesen in a shoot out. He should have saved two of the Argentina kicks, including the winning pen from Maxi. He did try the old trash talking routine, but that isn’t so effective when you’ve got wrists like crisp bags.
A couple of other observations. Bruno Martins Indi is a dirty bastard, he produced some really cynical fouls in his last few games. He’s been linked with the Blueshite this summer, so presumably Feyenoord are prepared to loan him out. And I can’t get used to the sight of Kluivert sat there on the bench in his suit with his little pen and notepad, he looks totally out of place, probably as he doesn’t appear to have aged at all from when he was playing. He’s like the office junior, it just doesn’t look right.
Argentina deserved to go through on the basis that they were at least trying to take the game to the Dutch. They just didn’t really have enough to their game to do it as Holland were playing with a back six for most of the game and Ron Vlaar in particular was brilliant back there. Very cruel that he was one of those to miss a pen, he didn’t deserve that.
It should make for a better final having Argentina there rather than Van Gaal’s men, as at least they won’t play for pens. At least I hope they won’t. Their fans must be in dreamland right now. Brazil humiliated one night, and then next night they reach the final on Brazilian soil. Only Germany stand in their way now, but they’re a pretty big roadblock to say the least.
I’ll be rooting for Germany but I don’t particularly mind who wins now that I don’t have to worry about Brazil lifting the trophy.
Dave
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