Two weeks ago we were all ready to hand the title to City and now look at them? They got their arses handed to them by Spurs and lost top spot to United. I’m not especially worried at this point, but if we get to February or March and the Mancs are still top and looking like they might win the league, I’ll be fucking seething with the likes of Chelsea, Arsenal and City.
I should be seething with the Reds too, but I’ve kind of just given up on us. The owners don’t give a shit about winning and even though the teams at the top are probably in worse shape than they’ve been in a decade, we are in no position to take advantage due to the rampant apathy at ownership level. So as a result I’m reduced to sitting here hurling insults at City for not doing the job I should be expecting my own team to be doing. It’s a fucking sad state of affairs.
City’s loss at Spurs was really shocking, not so much because they got beat but because they got battered. They actually took the lead and then just capitulated. “What the hell happened there?” was my first reaction when I seen the score. Having now watched the highlights it’s pretty obvious what happened there - their back up goalie pulled a Brad Jones on them and let in virtually everything that came his way.
This Caballero is the cat who Pellegrini was rotating with Hart a couple of years ago isn’t he? Remember when he said he didn’t have a number one keeper, he had two number ones? I’d say this baldy jabroni is defo more of a “number two”, as he’s an absolute turd.
It seemed like every goal in this game was offside but the lino’s weren’t flagging anything. That’s probably why Son decided he was gonna vulture one on the goal-line when he was well offside instead of just letting it go in. Some proper goal shameless goal-hanging that, fair play.
Pocchetino was very magnanimous about all the offside goals, saying “That’s football, sometimes the officials get things wrong and you just have to keep calm about it”. Yeah, and I’m sure he’d have been saying the same had it been Spurs conceding three offside goals rather than scoring them. Football managers eh? Still, at least he didn’t sit there pontificating about what needs to be done to help English clubs succeed in the Champions League like Brendan did. Kinell…
Harry Kane finally got off the mark. He’s not going to go goal crazy like he did last year when he was scoring virtually every week, but I’ve been surprised by how many people have been saying he’s a flash in the pan. I still reckon he’s quality, and I still reckon his face and hair are highly offensive.
Moving on, and Leicester started like a house on fire against Arsenal as Jamie Vardy continued his impressive Craig Bellamy tribute act. His opening goal was vintage Bellers, running onto a ball over the top, outpacing the defence and then cutting in and bending one in the far corner. He’d already hit the post by that point and then hit the bar soon after. Leicester’s frustration at that was made worse as Arsenal immediately went up the other end and equalised through Walcott.
Sanchez bagged a hat-trick and his third goal was just like watching Suarez…. *sobs*. Vardy grabbed his second in the last minute before Giroud made it 5-2 deep in stoppage time. The Wenger “Hokey Cokey meter” was firmly set to “IN” after this one, with cocky Gooners giving it the beans about winning the league. Three days later they were losing at home to Olympiakos, and they were all “Wenger out” again. They’re the absolute fucking worst.
Yes, I said it, they’re even worse than Chelsea fans. They’ve actually been fairly low profile this season and haven’t thrown their toys out the pram despite the wretched form of their side this season, which thankfully shows no sign of ending.
Mourinho’s record at St James’ Park is so bad he could actually be a Newcastle manager. After their win over Arsenal last week it looked like they were back on track and a trip to face the hapless Toon was the ideal fixture to build on it but in the end they were lucky to come away with a point and had to come back from 2-0 down to get it.
I’ve said it before but I like that Ayoze Perez, he’s a good footballer and always looks lively around the box. He scored the opener after a great first touch and finish and then Wijnaludum made it 2-0. At this point Chelsea had done absolutely nothing, but Ramires hit a stunner out of nowhere to get them back into it and then Willian’s spawny free-kick evaded everyone and crept in to get them out of jail.
Mourinho was sat on the bench fake-laughing his stupid head off while they were losing. It was one of those “look at me, I’m not under pressure, see I’m even LAUGHING” things. He’s fooling no-one though, his arse is twitching like a rabbit’s nose at the moment and losing in the Champions League at Porto hasn’t helped him either. Cant wait til he ends up getting sacked, the twat.
United had a gimme three points at the weekend as they played host to hapless Sunderland. Depay tapped in to put them ahead and Rooney made it 2-0 when Martial smashed it at him from close range and it bounced off his knee and went in. That’s just about the only way the useless potato headed fuck can score these days. 300k a week he’s on. 300k a week!! Think about that for a second. Mata made it 3-0 in stoppage time after more awful Sunderland defending.
“Virgil” Van Dijk made it a weekend double for the christian name wearing Dutch bellends by joining “Memphis” on the goalscorers list on Saturday. He headed Southampton in front against Swansea before Tadic doubled their lead after the break. Mane drilled in a third before Sigurdsson struck a late consolation from the penalty spot.
West Ham are dynamite on their travels but they’re Tony Hibbert at home. They needed a last minute scrappy equaliser from Wile. E. Koyote to snatch a point against Norwich, who were quite lively and probably deserved a win. Norwich were wearing their away kit for some reason. Not sure how yellow and green clashes with claret and blue, but whatever, they went with their second kit, which is… errrr green and yellow. Real imagination there lads.
Struggling Stoke finally got a win as they just about got past Bournemouth. A Walters tap in set them on their way but Dan Gosling equalised and Bournemouth had chances to take the lead before Diouf got a late winner. Butland was the stand out performer once again for Stoke and made a brilliant save late on to protect the win.
Callum Wilson was stretchered off with what looked a bad knee injury. If he’s out a while then that means the only other Bournemouth players I can name are Ritchie and that Gosling jabroni. Oh, and Distin, he’s finally forced his way into their side now. The rest of them are a complete mystery to me.
Onto Sunday and Palace beat Watford 1-0 as Pards continued to show what a specialist he is when it comes to playing away from home.
One more game left to cover now, involving our friendly neighbourhood blueshite. I checked the score on Monday night and they were 2-0 down at the Hawthorns. Great stuff, so I carried on with what I was doing and then checked back in later that night to see how it had finished. The bastards had only gone and won 3-2 hadn’t they. Can’t rely on the fuckers for anything.
On that note, I’ll end with a little story about why you should never rely on an Evertonian for anything as they’re shifty bastards. So last week my dad is talking about going the match when he was a kid, and he was saying about how he always used to hang around and get player’s autographs afterwards. He didn’t just go to Anfield though, he’d go down to Goodison when they were at home and see what autographs he could get outside the players entrance after the game.
He lived in Kirby back then and used to ride his bike all the way there and back. So this particular day he rides to Goodison and when the first player comes out my dad asks him to sign this footy book he had. This Everton player seems amazed that his picture was in the book and he was buzzing about it. He wasn’t a star so he wouldn’t have had his own cigarette card or anything like that so this was probably the first time he’d seen a picture of himself in his Everton kit. He signed it and asked my dad where he got the book.
“A place on Warbreck Moor, someone bought me it for a present” he tells him. “If I gave you the money, could you go and get me one?” asked the cheeky blue bastard. So my dad, who is the kind of fella that will do anything for anyone, agreed and told him how much the book was. I don’t remember how much he said it was, something like “ten and six and two thrippeny bits” or some shit like that, I have no comprehension of all that old currency nonsense, but whatever it was it was quite a bit of money for that time.
So the blueshite player hands my dad the money, and like a mug, instead of just having it away with the fellas cash and going to buy sweets and fags, my al fella pedals for all he’s worth from Goodison to Warbreck Moore (about a 15 minutes away), gets the book and pedals back as fast as he could, where the player is waiting for him. By now all his team-mates are on the coach, meaning my dad couldn’t get any more autographs, so he says to the fella “You couldn’t take my book on the coach and get Albert Dunlop to sign it could you please mate?”
Do you know what the ungrateful bluenose fucker said? “Sorry kid, the coach is leaving now” and he just got on and fucked off. Initially my dad couldn’t remember the fellas name but after a while it came back to him. Colin Green it was, so I looked him up on wiki and it turns out he’s some jabroni who only played 15 games for them. As soon as I can be arsed I’m gonna edit his wiki page and expose him for the disgusting piece of shit he is/was (dunno if he’s even still alive). Evertonian cunt.
Dave Usher
@theliverpoolway
Recommended Comments